Cosmic Love
by Last-Dragomir
Summary: Lauren had made sure to check the 'closed adoption' box when requesting for her daughter. 10 years later her life is turned upside down on a New Year's Eve. Can she give her daughter's past a second chance or will history repeat itself and hurt them even more? DOCCUBUS/ Parallel story with 'HEAVY IN YOUR ARMS' (Lauren POV)
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is a parallel storyline to HEAVY IN YOUR ARMS, which is from Bo's POV. I highly encourage Chapter 01 being read at the same time as this.**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are.**

 **Cosmic Love:**

 **Chapter 01:**

It was still dark morning out when I rushed about the city trying to make it there on time. I hated being late in all degrees, it was impractical and unprofessional. I heard my phone ring but I dismissed it as I walked into the big cement and glass building. I could see the ER ward was full and nodded at the RN in the front desk as I rushed to put my uniform on. There had been a seven car pile-up in the highway and I was paged promptly to handle the overflow of patients. The Doctor on the floor was a newbie and there was no way I was letting him handle the situation alone.

I rushed into the busy room as I assessed the patient in the bed while my nurse gave me the specs. 47, Caucasian male, not conscious. I took a deep breath and started my assessment.

"He clearly has a broken femur, we need to do some x-rays I want to see his whole spine lit up. Let's get him into a CT scan, I want to make sure what's going on in his head. Patient next to us needs some ABC's come on people!" I barked out the orders as I took charge of my room.

I could hear the other Doctor across the room in the other units trying to go as fast as I was. I moved from patient to patient repeating the same process. My mind running, my fingers dancing and my mouth giving orders I didn't even have to think twice on. I diligently worked over and over until I could feel the fatigue residing in my body.

I roamed the halls between patients ready for a small break in the shift. I had just taken a bag of Twinkies out when my relief surgeon tapped me in the shoulder making me jump a hundred feet and laugh nervously.

"Holy shit Lewis what's got you so jacked up?" the blonde joked with jovial blue eyes.

"Tamsin, you gave me a freight!" I chuckled as she took out a drink for herself.

"Serves you right! You sent me about ten surgeries, I won't be able to get out until tomorrow night!" she complained mockingly.

"Good thing you don't have a life." I joked. "I mean we could've let them die or something."

"Or something…." she mumbled "And don't think for one second that me not having a brat running around makes me have no life!"

"I never said that." I chuckled amusedly.

"Yeah but you insinuated it." She waved her finger at me accusingly. "I swear I don't know how you do it."

"It's tough but it's sweet Tamsin, she's the light of my days." I smiled thinking of my 'brat' as Tamsin called her often.

Truth was Tamsin loved my girl, there was no denying it. She would spoil her rotten every chance she could. Tamsin and I had met when we were in medical school. She needed a tutor since she was partying too much at some point and I guess that after that we just stayed together. We had even moved hospitals together whenever the time would come to change practices. When I made the decision to bring my baby home, Tamsin had been there to welcome her into the small apartment I then owned.

"I'll be out tomorrow I'll call you so we can do something with the squirt." She hollered and I nodded before getting back to my rounds.

I sighed as I gave the nurse at the counter the chart of one of the patients I had just closed up on. She gave me a smile and a sympathetic look as she handed me another chart. I glanced at the clock knowing I was close to the end of my shift. It had been hours since I had come in but the work had engrossed me so much I couldn't pry away from it. I grabbed the chart with a smile as I took off for the next patient.

I let the water wash over my body as I ran my hands down my hair and leaned against the wall of the stall. I felt the tears come before I knew it and I let them fall and mesh with the flowing water. I tried to supress my sobs, it had been a long time since I had a breakdown like this. Not since medical school probably. I couldn't handle the loss I had just suffered. It was a small child not much older than my own.

I had almost forgotten it was New Year's Eve by the time I was dressed. I grabbed my phone and quickly scanned my notifications knowing my baby would be home soon. I was excited for the plans we had made for tonight. She was old enough that she was going to stay up late and bring in the New Year with me. I had bought all sorts of party favours and her favourite snacks. We had the best view in town to catch all the fireworks and even the countdown on one of the buildings.

I got in my car and sped off anxious to spend some time with my girl. I knew she must've been in piano lessons right around this time and I smiled. She was so good at that piano, yet she wanted nothing to do with it besides the practices she endured for my sake. I wanted her college application to look nice when she decides to go into it. Be it for what it may I wanted her to have a bright future. She was smart but she loved being active more than anything. She loved acting first and thinking later and I wondered how much of that was attributed to her genetics.

I found myself smiling more often than not when thinking of my baby. She was beautiful, by far the most beautiful little girl I had seen in my life. It was probably something all mothers said, but mine would be a looker, I knew it. As I drove I found myself making a small plan to surprise her. I'd stop at the donut shop and then head to her hockey practice to fill her up with the treats she loved so much. Hockey had been her compromise to her piano lessons and although it scared me how much she could injure herself with such a physical sport I indulged her.

I wasn't much for sports myself, I found it brutish and pointless and most of them confused me. I hated being confused. It was one of the things that made me mad the most. I showed up at her games, cheered and tried to pay attention but I wasn't that typical sports mom everyone else had and sometimes I wondered if she wanted that from me. I was the total opposite of these things, I was intelligent and logical and had excellent calculation skills so when it came time for things like passion and 'push hard' I couldn't wrap my head around it.

My phone rang and I glanced at it. I hated using a cell phone and driving, it was so perilous and I had many people in my ER for it. I wasn't far from the donut shop so I decided to rush there and grab my phone then. When I parked I read through the email quickly. As my eyes went through each word I did a silent celebration. It was an email from the board letting me know my proposal for a research facility had been approved.

I had been wanting to spend more time with my daughter. Right now we made it work and all but being an ER doctor wasn't easy with a kid no matter what is said. I was also a single parent to make things much more difficult. My girl had all she wanted but it didn't change the fact that I was gone every day before sunrise and couldn't come home well after 5. We had arranged her curriculum so she was occupied most of the time, but still. I'd make sure to make breakfast before I left every morning and the bus would come pick her up in front of our building then off to school until 2:30, piano at 3:00 and hockey at 4:00, by the time 5:00 rolled around she was exhausted. I wanted to change the fact she was alone most of the day when the weekend hit or when there was no school like today and now I had the tools for that.

I hurried and picked up her treats before heading towards the rink ready to surprise her. She would never expect me to come pick her up so early but I had done my rounds in a hurry after that last patient I lost just to see her face. I pushed through the double doors feeling the cold air hit me and the sounds of the girls playing hockey filled my ears. I stood by the side of the rink scanning the red jerseys and hoping to catch a glimpse of my girl.

My face wrinkled with worry as I scanned the crowd of little girls once more realizing that number 16 was nowhere to be found. My heart raced in my chest immediately. There was no way she would do something like this, no way. The coach saw me and a frown graces her features not calming my fears. She skated over quickly and addressed me.

"Hello Doctor Lewis, can I help you?" she asked looking as confused as I was.

"I'm just, I'm looking for my daughter." I tried to smile hoping she was in the bathroom or in the changing room.

"I… I don't understand. She told us yesterday she had to help with preparations for New Year's at home today and couldn't make it to today's practice." Her face turned into more concern as I tried to make sense out of everything.

"I… oh… I forgot." I mentioned trying to think of why she would do such a thing.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, thank you." I shook my head as my hands balled to prevent them from shaking. "Have a happy new year"

I walked outside briskly and rushed to my car. She was ten, I trusted her judgement and she had no cell phone. I felt like such an idiot. I was scared that if I said anything to authorities and it turned out to be her just skipping practice to watch TV at home we'd be in serious crap. I turned on my car and hurried home the donuts forgotten in my haste. I was scared since she had done nothing like this ever. I had no idea what could be so pressing that not only would she lie around but she would also keep it hidden from me. We were best friends I liked to think.

As soon as I got through my front door I rushed about disheartened that she wasn't home. The TV was off and everything was exactly as I had seen it when I left for work. I let out a whimper in desperation, I was starting to really get desperate, but I kept trying to make logic of the situation knowing there was no signs of a struggle and if she had made excuses she had somewhere to be.

I put all my things away and changed into jeans and simple white tee as I tied my long blonde hair in a ponytail. This went against all the trust and respect rules that we had set in the house but there was no way I could hold back from investigating when she was gone and lying. I went into her room and started looking around for something, anything that would help me out.

Her bed was unmade which was strange for her and I could see that her backpack was missing. I sat on the bed for a second trying to think of where to start. I looked at the mess of shoes in her closet thinking it was uncharacteristic of her as well and decided to look there. After rummaging I hit a dead end and so I went on to look in her desk and under her bed. When all that turned up empty I grunted in frustration.

My eyes widened when I realized her laptop was not on top of her desk. Wherever she was she had taken it with her. I ran to my office and grabbed my own laptop throwing it open with ease. The browser application she was using in her laptop was logged into my account. I was hoping that I'd be able to find something even to start in her browser history.

She was smart, but I could see everything she had seen in her browser since the beginning of time. As my eyes widened at her activities and the websites she had been visiting my heart dropped and I grew anxious. I could see various bus websites and a few of itineraries had been searched. She was looking into maps and directions to take her somewhere, I just couldn't place where or why.

I opened new tabs and scrolled rapidly. I had the bad feeling that she had been gone longer than I dared to think. Shifting through music websites and fashion tabloids along with sports schedules and game highlights I wondered if she had sneaked out for some event. Maybe she was curious about a concert or a sporting event. I could only hope it was something as mundane as that.

As my search went into older and older files I stumbled upon something I didn't think I'd find. It was the website for the agency I had used to adopt her. I gasped as I saw that she had scoured the entire website from top to bottom. I was in shock about this, I wasn't sure what she had wanted with it or why. We had always spoken truthfully to each other. She had known that she was adopted since she was little. I had thought it was of little to no importance to her, she seemed happy and stable not really caring how we came about each other but that we were together.

I knew it'd be a long shot but I decided to check the internet based storage system to see if she had left any trail or documents there that I could get information for. She had TONS of pictures. Hockey, plays, her team, us… you'd name it she had it. I was beginning to think that there was no end to the scrolling and I was going to give up when I saw a few word documents near the bottom. It was titled _rendezvous_ and I grew curious clicking it immediately. The screen blinked a few times and I thought the computer had crashed. Then I realized the document was THAT big that it took a while to load.

I had to give my girl props for this. It was a 75 page document of pure and utter research. It seemed that her homework hadn't always been school related. It had phone numbers, addresses, and paragraphs with a trail of clues. I could see it clearly unraveling in my head and I my heart ached the more I realized it. She seemed to be looking for her birth parents.

It instantly gave me the insecurities of being a mother. I was surprised she was looking at all this stuff without bringing it up with me. We had a very close relationship despite my crazy hours, but now I was starting to think I didn't quite know my girl as much as I thought.

The thought of her looking for her parents deeply saddened me but also worried me. I had known that her mother had given her up in a closed adoption and that it wasn't in the best of terms. I had always been resentful towards her birth mother since my baby had to be put on watch for several weeks before they gave her to me. They had to monitor she wasn't addicted to any of the things her mother was and it truly made me feel scorn towards the woman. Besides that though I knew nothing else.

I had thought she had found nothing else on her parents and it almost calmed me, yet at the very end of the document there was an address in Ottawa with a name in bold letters. **Bo Denis**.

"Oh Fleur, what have you done?" I asked myself out loud as I emailed the document to my phone and set out to find her.

This Bo Denis better get ready, cause I wasn't stepping foot back in this house without my daughter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the kind reviews. I promise you all that things will get better and better as we go along. Decided to post this quicker than I had planned due to the great response!**

 **Also to all of you wondering why I didn't post the two POV's in 1 story: I didn't want it to be repetitive and it would alter the flow of Bo's story (as well as Lauren's) as a whole. It is not NECESSARY to read one fic to understand the other as they can stand alone (which is another reason why) but it is encouraged and out there. I see a lot of fics where the other POV is requested and this is the best course in case anybody wanted to see how Lauren fights through her difficulties as well.**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 02:**

The apartment looked disheveled amongst the balloons and New Year's decorations. I had gone through the whole house looking for answers and couldn't find much. I only had the initial things I had found to lead me to my daughter. It would have to be enough. I frowned at the box of untouched donuts and the bag of hockey equipment in the corner of the living room. I had such high hopes for this day. It was supposed to be the beginning of a new happy chapter in our lives. Instead I had lost my daughter somewhere to curiosity at best.

The blonde beside me clicked her tongue as she stared at me unbelieving. I glared at her and kept packing my stuff. So much for a New Year's party.

"Are you fucking serious Lauren!?" Tamsin asked me from her spot in the doorway "Call the fucking cops, this is ridiculous! I have to call Dyson."

"No, I don't know if Fleur went by her own accord or if this… this woman contacted her at some point… Regardless, no cops. I have an address. I'll go get my daughter." I explained curtly. "Do NOT tell Dyson yet, not until I call you."

I didn't want to be mean to my best friend, she loved my daughter as her own even though she continuously called her a brat. The thing is, I didn't want to hear anything she was saying, I was panicking for the safety of my daughter. I had no idea where she was at the moment, wherever it was I was going to go get her. I'd move heaven and earth to find my girl and if anybody had harmed her… I would, with surgical precision, kill them.

"I'll come with you then." She spat as she started grabbing her coat.

"Tamsin, I need you to stay here in case she comes back." I instructed as she shook her head.

"You're not going there alone Lauren, from what you've told me she could be with junkies or prostitutes or traffickers." She exaggerated.

"No, I told you she came from a bad background, I didn't say any of those things." I corrected and she shook her head.

"You might as well have said it" She defended. "No way am I staying here Lauren."

"Please." I begged as tears threatened to fall. "I'm scared, I **need** you to stay."

Truth was I had never been so scared in my life. Not even when I had brought Fleur home had I been so petrified. I hated not knowing anything, not having answers, it ate away at me. I wanted to have my child safely in my arms now, wake up from this terrible nightmare.

"I'll stay, but if you're not back with her in 24, we're going to the police Lauren. This is a child, she might have been abducted…" she whispered trying to get me to see reason. "I mean, I can't see Fleur doing something like this without being ushered into it, she's not that kind of kid."

I nodded knowing she was right, Fleur was rarely mean or bad and she always followed our advice. This was so uncharacteristic of her that the more I thought about it, the more I suspected she had been pushed into it. I zipped up my bag and threw my arms around Tamsin.

"Tell that squirt she's in deep shit when Auntie Tam-Tam gets her." Tamsin menaced lightly and I chuckled between sniffles knowing she was trying to cheer me up with the nickname Fleur had given her.

"I'll make sure she knows, it'll be a long drive back." I smiled as we parted confident I would find her.

After a few rushed goodbyes I headed out eager to get this show on the road. I could see that it was snowing a bit more heavily now and I cursed myself for not checking the weather report on my haste. My car was warm and cozy from when Tamsin had started it for me, I was eternally grateful for the blonde.

Tamsin and I had met in med school, we were both part of a gifted program for medicine students. She was looking for tutoring since she was flunking some of her classes, even though she had qualified for the project with the amazing intelligence she had. Tamsin and I had stuck together being the youngest entrants in the program at 17. However, her extra-curricular activities were always in the way of her studying and I nipped that in the butt as we grew into friends. Medicine hadn't been her first career choice, she had wanted to be a cop. She loved feeling like a hero, however her father was a Doctor and nothing would do except following his footsteps. It was something she resented to this day, even though she had fallen in love with medicine after seeing it from my eyes.

It was finals week when I got the phone call that changed my life. I was barely 19 and was swamped with school work but I knew I could do this. I remember sitting with the receiver in my ear stunned that it had actually happened after all the courses I had taken and the meetings with the case workers it seemed it was unlikely to happen fast. I had applied on a hunch, there was a very high chance that because of my age I wouldn't be approved and I was ok with that but here I was, about to be a mother of a baby girl.

I had applied for adoption after having helped a case where the baby was addicted to heroin because the mother was at the time of birth. The baby needed special attention and care for the beginning months of their life because of that, yet the new adoptive parents were so lost and confused throughout the whole ordeal. A few weeks after when I asked my professor about the child an apprehensive look crossed her face as she told me the baby had been given back into the system because of the burden on its new parents. The day after I gathered all the resources I could and started making an adoption application specifically for a child in the same situation. I could help them, I knew how and even if I was young I knew this was what I wanted.

Tamsin had tried to make me see reason at some point but my mind was set. She had let it go thinking that it would sort itself out. She kept reminding me that my parents were dead and if I ever needed adult help with the child that I'd be on my own. I knew I wouldn't though, deep down I knew I could do this even on my own.

Tamsin had been in disbelief as soon as I told her we had to go buy baby things. She had known of my application which was out for a few months, but much like me thought that because of my age and marital status I wouldn't get approved. She thought I was completely batshit crazy to have a child at 19 while going to medical school but I kept reminding her that girls got pregnant much younger and still made something of themselves in the best cases.

If it wasn't for Tamsin, I don't know how I would've done it. She and her boyfriend Dyson had been my rock. Tamsin hadn't become a cop but she was dating one cute and hot detective. They had been assessed by CAS as well since they were my roommates and in the end the case worker thought it was cute we didn't have the conventional family. Dyson was the oldest of us at 23, he was way older than his years though and his chivalrous mentality made us love him even more especially when he came home with a pink onesie to celebrate we had been approved.

We bought a beautiful crib and made her a nursery in the spare room we had been using as a study. Dyson spent hours reading the manual to the crib trying to piece it together while I read over every safety brochure the things we were bringing into the room had. By the time Tamsin and I came back from buying diapers, formula and clothes Dyson had painted the whole room a soft yellow. I remember his hopeful smile as he asked us if we liked it.

As if it was yesterday, I could picture how my hands shook when my name was called in the office. Dyson had placed his huge palm in the small of my back pushing me forward and urging me with his eyes. Tamsin was bad at this emotional stuff which is why I imagined Dyson took the lead more often than not. I walked into the small waiting room where the woman waved at the car seat on top of the table.

It was occupied by this tiny little human with dark locks and pouty lips. Her eyes were open and alert and they focused on me instantly. My hand trembled against my lip as a small gasp escaped me. I felt the tears roll down before I knew it and the woman gave us a moment.

I was instantly in love. I remember just unwrapping her from her little blanket and counting her fingers and her toes. Her tiny chest moved up and down peacefully and I could see her lips turn in a slight smile when I touched her hands. I could feel myself wrapped around her small little fingers already. The case worker came in and reminded me of the caring process that I needed to maintain. She had been diagnosed with addiction to 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine or MDMA so I would have to follow certain guidelines to ensure her developmental health wouldn't be compromised.

My palms were sweaty as I gripped the steering wheel tighter taking me out of my thoughts. I could barely see in front of me with the amount of snow that was coming down. I had been driving for a few hours now and knew that at best I'd be stuck wherever I was going, at worst I'd never make it tonight with the storm. I turned on my hazard lights and concentrated further not wanting another vehicle to hit me.

Normally I would've given up on the trip because of the hazardous conditions, but not knowing where my daughter was pushed me forwards. I was scared that she was alone but I was more scared that she had found her birth mother. I had no idea what this woman was like, all I knew was that she was young and had given her addicted child away. That in turn told me she was selfish, she was so selfish she hadn't stopped her addiction even when another human being was hosted in her body. It disgusted me that there were people with so little self-control out there.

I knew that being a Doctor I should have better views and higher empathy but I just couldn't see past the facts when it came to my daughter. I had worked so hard to keep her away from the world she came from, from the pain it meant. I had tried and give her everything I could to make her life better than what she would've experienced otherwise. She was a happy, healthy loving child and I loved the human being she was becoming. I was proud of her and her self-confidence and even though I always correct her when she did it, she had even taken to chew Tamsin out when she'd do something stupid.

Dyson and Tamsin were her Godparents. If anything ever happened to me they'd take care of her and make sure she was always loved. They were married now but hadn't wanted to have children of their own. They would joke that Fleur kept them busy enough as it was. We didn't live together anymore but they lived close enough to us to keep the support group Fleur had.

I fought the tears away, this was hard to take in. The fact that my daughter had been planning this for a while hurt me. She was like me, meticulous in everything she did and I knew she wouldn't have made this trip without researching it first. The only consolation I could find would be if _**that woman**_ had somehow enticed her into meeting her. I held onto hope that was the case. I had thought Fleur was happy with me, that she had everything she needed. I knew I didn't have much spare time but I tried to change that as soon as I could.

I had taken on an enormous workload despite my young age when Fleur was younger. I needed to make a good name for myself if I wanted to someday convince a board for a research program. I had a 10 year plan when I had adopted Fleur, it was meant to keep us stable and grounded. So far with my hard work and dedication everything was falling into place. Now that the program had been approved I could take a step back or two and actually spend more time with my daughter. I had wanted it this way, to be present in her teenage years knowing they weren't easy. My watch beeped with an alarm and I glanced at it sadly noting it was midnight. Happy New Year to me.

After a few hours more than it should've taken me I heard the GPS tell me to take the next exit. My heart hammered knowing I was close to my destination. The roads were getting so bad now that I knew even if I wanted to I wouldn't be able to go back to Toronto afterwards. I'd find us a hotel or something.

As I got closer and closer to the address my heart sank. It was snowing incredibly and I had to park my car a ways from where I had to go. As I went by the houses kept getting more and more run-down. It wasn't doing anything to qualm my fears. I walked briskly but it was really hard with snow up to my thighs.

My face fell when I saw the house I was looking for. I kept re-checking the address to make sure it was correct. If this wasn't a crack house, I didn't know what was. I now prayed that my daughter wasn't in there. I hoped against all hope that I would get a call from Tamsin in a few minutes to let me know Fleur was at home and this was some twisted joke. My feet moved to their own accord and once I got into the porch it creaked so much that I thought it would fall under my feet.

It was very late now, but I wasn't turning around without knowing why my daughter had this address. It was my only clue as to her whereabouts. I knocked on the door loudly, silently hoping that it would buckle under my knuckles and keel over so I could see inside faster. I knocked again and I could hear shuffling behind the door as lights came on. My body stiffened realizing people lived here and my brow furrowed in worry.

I heard the voice of a man yell at me with profanity laden insults as to why I was knocking at four in the morning. My heart hammered even more, God knows who Fleur was in there with, if she was. I was scared and knew there could be trouble at the other side of the door. It didn't look like the greatest neighborhood to begin with.

Before I knew it the door flew open and I was face to face with a woman about my age. I had to fight my jaw not to drop open. She looked tired and her dark tresses were dishevelled with what I hoped was sleep. Her face held confusion and annoyance perhaps. She was stunning to say the least, probably the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on and without wanting to my eyes roamed her body drinking her in. As I settled back to her face her eyes held mine and I knew without doubt who this was. The resemblance was completely and utterly uncanny.

Anger flooded me immediately knowing this was the woman that had abandoned my child and who knows if she had done it again. She was the one who brought my child into the world addicted and left her to fend for herself. A scowl crossed my features as I glared at her now impatient.

"Where is she!?" I demanded pushing past her and the shirtless boy toy who had undoubtedly cussed me out before glaring at her once more. "I know who you are Bo Denis, I came to take my daughter back."

"Momma?" It was music to my ears, my child was safe.

"Oh my God Fleur!"

I rushed to her picking her up as I assessed her making sure she was alright. Her feet were barefoot and her hair was all wild from what seemed like sleep. I could tell she had just woken up and that she was surprised but not impressed that I was here.

"You scared me so much, it was so dangerous what you did." I chastised gently, relief flooding over me.

"I know Bo already told me that." She whispered looking down in embarrassment.

Bo? BO!? She was at first name basis with this woman? I glared at older brunette standing by the door. I was livid, even furious that she would keep my child for any amount of time without contacting me. What? Did she think she could just swoop into her life again and be her mother? Did she convince her to come here and look for her? I was entirely upset at the situation and it made me confused. I hated being confused and for now, I hated Bo Denis as well.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for your kind reviews. I know Lauren adopting a child at such a young age is a challenge, but as time goes by it'll get explained more thoroughly why Lauren's decision at such a young age. Enjoy.**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 03:**

I kept checking and re-checking Fleur reminding me of the first time I saw her and checked her much the same. I kept myself occupied texting Tamsin and Dyson rapidly. Tamsin was demanding a play by plat since I hadn't texted her in the span of an hour. I was about to give her a call when the man interrupted me.

"Who exactly do you think you are?" I gave the man a once over.

He now had a shirt on, his scruffy face had a certain charm to it. I had been upset by his cussing earlier but I kept reminding myself I had barged in at 4:00am. I still disliked his attitude towards me.

"Excuse me?" I asked indignantly, I thought I had made it clear I was Fleur's mother.

"You heard me. You come storming in here in your high horse and what not. Who are you? You've been in our house for a bit now and we don't even know your name."

I don't think I liked this guy at all. I looked at the three adults in the room. If in any case you could call a young goth who had just come up to see what the commotion was any kind of adult. I unconsciously let go of Fleur and stared the man down before I extended my hand towards him. Might as well be civil.

"I'm Doctor Lauren Lewis, Fleur's mother." I said firmly, I wanted it to be clear who I was, I didn't want Ms Denis getting any ideas.

"I'm Ryan Lambert contractor and inventor extraordinaire." He mentioned proudly, he puffed out his chest a bit as he said it and handed me a card in the process.

I was about to look at the car to see if he was indeed those things or if he was just jesting when I caught the goth's eyes travel behind me with curiosity. I turned and saw Fleur had gone to Ms Denis' side. The older woman was kneeled down to my daughter's level and was gently caressing her cheek.

I rushed to their side and in one swift movement broke their contact with a gentle pull of Fleur's arm. I couldn't stand for this, this was unacceptable. The audacity of this woman to come back into my daughter's life and act as if she had done nothing wrong.

"I'm sorry Fleur, we have to go." I said looking into Bo's eyes, I wanted things to be crystal clear between us.

"But Mommy-" Fleur protested but I wouldn't allow this any longer.

"No." I looked at Fleur to make my point and then my searing look turned to the older brunette.

"Ms. Denis would you get me Fleur's belongings we're taking our leave NOW. It was nice meeting you but we have to get going back to Toronto." I wanted to be polite but the anger and scorn was raging inside me.

"I can't let you leave." The older vixen said as I grew afraid for my safety. She seemed to notice this because she later clarified herself. "It's freezing out there, the roads are now buried, Ottawa is not as good responding to snow storms as I imagine Toronto to be. Don't know, never been."

"You should!" Fleur's voice startled me and I frowned at the invitation.

"I have to fly to T.O. soon to cover a game, so who knows." Denis teased.

I grew angrier in her wake, she didn't deserve this second chance. I let out a nervous and incredulous laugh before adding "Absolutely not."

This visit was a one time deal as far as I was concerned and the quicker Ms. Denis realized that the better. I had mean it when I had said I wanted to get us out of here as quick as we could. There was the matter of the small blizzard outside but staying here with this motley crew was not my most-welcomed option.

"As for you Dr. Lewis, you can see we're in the middle of renovations in our humble abode. However my heart is very compassionate to fault, so I extend you our hospitality and offer you my very own bedroom where Fleur was spending the night. I doubt you can get to the end of the street tonight." Ms. Denis surprised me with her wit and vocabulary, she had given me a spoonful of my own medicine and I didn't like it one bit.

"I will NOT stay in this dump." I stammered out outraged that she was making me look unreasonable in front of my daughter.

"Hey!" Ryan and the goth had protested from a corner but I paid them no mind.

I had grabbed Fleur's coat from a chair, we would leave with or without her stuff. I couldn't spend another minute in here with these people or with **HER.** I was being childish but I refused to do so. I had worked my whole life to undo the things this woman in front of me had caused. I had spent sleepless nights next to Fleur's crib making sure she didn't go into cardiac arrest or stopped breathing from the medications she had been given to kick her addiction. There was no chance I would stay here, no way in hell.

"Come on Fleur WE"RE leaving." I mentioned glaring at the older brunette.

Before I knew it, Fleur's hand was no longer in my own. She had pulled herself away and was now standing next to the woman. My ears were hot from anger as I saw the cheekiness my daughter was displaying.

"No." she was firm and I gritted my teeth clenching my jaw "Bo's right. It's dangerous outside and I don't know why you're being so rude. Call uncle Dyson tell him we're good and let's stay. I'm not leaving."

"Young lady." I warned, but I knew once she got this adamant over something she wasn't letting it go.

She shook her head and stared at me evenly. She was right, I was being stubborn and rude but I didn't want to do this. I didn't want my daughter to play favourites on whatever whim she would get. I wanted things back to normal, back to her and I with Dyson and Tamsin helping us. I wanted us as far from Ottawa as we could go. Yet somehow I felt it deep down within me that this had changed everything. Nothing would ever be the same after this.

"I can't believe this!" I lamented frustrated. "I'd rather sleep in the car. I'll see you in morning Fleur, you're in big trouble when we get back home."

"Oh come on Doctor don't be a child!" Ryan called out to me but I was already on my way out the door.

I swung my coat on and fixed my boot on the porch after I had slammed the door to the house. I was beyond angry and livid at the situation. I couldn't believe what was happening. As I trekked impossibly through the snow I hesitated whether to continue or not. I was being beyond unreasonable and I knew it, however I couldn't control it, it was as if that woman snapped something in me that I couldn't quite comprehend. I wanted to turn around at once and go collect my daughter. I knew they didn't look like bad people and Fleur seemed to be well taken care of in my absence, but I couldn't get over the fact that my daughter had been born addicted.

I got in my car and closed the door quickly and turned on the car and heater on. It had stopped snowing and it was freezing now. I was so upset I needed a minute or two to compose myself before I went back for Fleur. I didn't even think to look around and check if Ms. Denis had any signs of current drug use or paraphernalia.

I was so caught up in the heat of the moment and how upset this woman's presence made me that I forgot the most basic things. Quite honestly it angered me that my pulse had quickened when she had addressed me to offer her room. It was indisputable that she was amazingly beautiful but I cursed my body and libido at the same time. This was not the instance to be admiring a stranger when the stranger happened to be the woman who abandoned my child sick and alone.

I jumped startled as I heard a knock on the frosted window. I couldn't see outside but I was almost a hundred percent certain that it was her outside. I steeled my nerves and pushed the schoolgirl crush down by reminding myself of the hardships I had gone through with Fleur and opened the door. As soon as my eyes fell on her once more I had to fight away the racing of my heartbeat.

"Can I come in?" her voice was light and jovial but I couldn't let myself get carried away in such things.

"Must you?" I asked trying to fight an impending headache.

"Dr. Lewis please, let's try and be civil, you're going to freeze out here. I'm surprised you dug the door out. You're persistent I'll give you that."

Her chuckle was so melodic and beautiful at the end of the sentence that I felt myself staring. The way the edges of her eyes crinkled was endearing to me and before I could smile at the observation I chastised myself and forced to think clearly about what was happening before me. I had to ask her the REAL questions pertaining Fleur's safety since she was here now. I couldn't let her charming personality fool me.

"I hope you don't have any illegal contraband in that house that my daughter can find." I searched her eyes for any lies.

"Ilegal-?" she seemed confused and I almost laughed with sarcasm.

"Drugs Ms. Denis" I pressed as her brow furrowed "My baby was addicted to drugs when I adopted her. So I-"

"I've been sober for four years." she whispered as I witnessed her whole demeanor change.

It was as if she had been struck. Her complexion changed and I could see her face twist in pain as she walked away. I watched her walk away as if dazed and wobble down the sidewalk a bit before bracing herself against the car. I panicked and scrambled to my feet recognizing the look of desperation she had on her face.

I could hear her being sick as I fell on my side on the snow while I struggled.

"Bo." I tried to be calm and gentle, I needed to tap into my professionalism and help her.

I closed the gap between us quickly and checked on her vitals trying to decipher what was going on. Food poisoning? Flu? A cold? Or worse… withdrawal?

"What's wrong with you, are you sick? I can't have you getting sick with my girl stuck in there with you guys."

"I… I didn't know" she whispered barely enough for me to hear and I stopped my checking. "I was a stupid kid, but I did what I thought was best which was giving her the best chance."

I met her eyes wanting to believe her. Still the fact that had she had been young did not negate the fact that she had harmed Fleur. I was torn between what I had resented her for all these years and the pain I saw vividly splashed on her face. I searcher her eyes trying to see how I could help her. I suspected she was very close or currently having a panic attack. Before I could do much else she dropped in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"No, Bo. Get up come on." I urged rushing to her.

I kneeled in front of her but I could see her deteriorating faster than I liked. She was curled up in a semi-fetal position and was mumbling to herself. I sat her up and noticed her pained expression was etched into her sadly beautiful face, yet her eyes were far off and vacant. I snapped my fingers in front of her to no avail.

I took a deep breath and prepped myself to lift with my legs. I kneeled and grabbed Bo's waist and pulled her slightly over my shoulder before struggling to put her inside my car. I could see she had started hyper ventilating and I had to stop it. I struck her across the face as I bit my bottom lip in worry. I didn't want to do this to her but I had to turn to my training to get her back to normal. If I couldn't get her to respond I'd have to try something else. I struck her again and a small groan of frustration escaped me as I realized that she wasn't responding.

Before I could stop myself I had grabbed the hem of her jacket and pulled her close closing the gap between us in a searing kiss. It was meant to be a small peck, something quick and easy meant to grab the person's attention but it turned into so much more. My whole body was set ablaze as her lips responded to mine. As I felt her arms wrap around me I whimpered, my whole body reacting to her touch.

I felt her push me away in a hurry and I kicked myself knowing I had stepped over a couple of boundaries. This was NOT what I had in mind when I tried to help her.

"Bo, I'm sorry I it's a technique-" I quickly stumbled upon my words trying to explain.

"Please don't ever touch me without my permission again." she begged painfully and I'll admit it hurt. "I… it's not good for my sobriety, I cannot have that kind of contact with you Doctor."

"I wasn't trying to take advantage of you Bo, I was trying to break you out of a full blown panic attack. I had slapped you twice before I resorted to another method." I tried.

"I am a recovering sex addict, I would appreciate if you could respect my boundaries so I can continue on my road to recovery." she whispered.

My eyebrows shot upwards as I internalized what she had just said. It seemed Bo had several problems to sort out besides Fleur and I being at her door. I stammered trying to say anything but I was stumped and kicking myself to have resorted to kissing her.

"No-no-no-no-no Bo" I desperately pleaded as I saw her go back to that far away place. "DON'T, don't go to that place. Stay here with me Bo. Talk to me please."

"why?" she whispered and I strained to listen to her clearly. "You clearly resent me. Why do YOU care if I'm in my own private hell?"

"I'm a Doctor, I cannot let you suffer." I pulled her chin up so that she could look me in the eyes and understand I meant what I was about to say "I will never kiss you again unless you ask, don't fear my touch, I want to make sure your blood pressure is normal."

I was hesitant of touching her but I needed to check her. I couldn't leave anyone in such medical distress. I pressed my fingers against her pulse and felt it quicken under my touch. My brow furrowed and I frowned not liking the sounds I was hearing.

"Hmm… I do not like how fast your pulse is." My eyes met hers and my pulse quickened remembering the heat of the kiss we had shared.

The problem with that kiss was that I had enjoyed it. I had enjoyed it entirely too much. That alone in itself confuse me and I hated being confused. I had done nothing but pondered question after question since I had gotten here and now my head hurt too badly to think of anything. I wanted to get us back inside in the warm where my daughter was.

"Bo?" I caught the brunette's attention and added "Maybe I should come inside after all."

"I think it's for the best." she admitted looking embarrassedly at the ground. "I… I don't feel stable enough to be around Fleur on my own."

"Thank you for admitting that." I admitted wholeheartedly.

I extended my hand so she could stand and then we set on our way after I closed my car door. The closer to the house we got the more I grew uneasy about what had just happened. I was uncertain if Fleur and I were doing more damage than good by being here. I steeled my resolve and convinced myself this was for the best. I needed to set some boundaries and this was the perfect opportunity for that.

"We're not friends." I broke the silence and she nodded in response "Fleur and I will be out of your life tomorrow"

She nodded and we continued our trip in heavy silence. I bit the inside of my lips while I battled with myself and before we went into the house I decided to tell her.

"I won't tell anyone what happened."

"Thank you." She said in what felt like an honest answer.

As soon as we walked in through the door Fleur had appeared at our side. Bo promptly escaped to the confines of her house and Fleur threw me a quizzical look as I shook my head slightly.

"Please show me where your stuff is, we'll stay. I think Bo and I have made amends." I improvised quickly.

Fleur threw one last quick glance towards the basement before leading me into a room.

Bo's room was cozy and beautiful. It was one of the only places in the house the renovation was complete. She had a huge bed in the middle of the room and a small desk full of sports magazines. The room was dimly lit and I could see Fleur's stuff neatly folded in the corner.

"What happened Mommy?" Fleur curiously asked as she sat on the bed.

"Bo and I had an adult talk and she convinced me to come back to the house." It was only a partial lie.

"Why did she leave so fast?" she asked with a small frown and I sat next to her with a huge sigh.

"She needed some time alone." I mentioned and Fleur nodded in silence. "We have a lot to talk about on our way back."

"I know" she admitted. "I just wanted to meet her Mom… I just wanted to see her."

I nodded and pulled her close kissing the top of her head.

I tried to sleep but I couldn't. The room obviously smelled like Bo and it reminded me of that kiss, which in turn had kept me up all night. I had battled with myself not to set out and look for Bo and make sure she was alright. I wasn't sure if it was the Doctor in me and my incessant need to comfort that I had wanted to give some of that comfort to Bo.

As night turned into day I had made up my mind about what I wanted to do. Fleur and I gathered our belongings after she had woken up and we had gone into the living room. Ryan had greeted me good morning and announced the streets would be clear soon. I gave Fleur a small smile as she sat with Ryan and decided to give my plan on last shot. I'd give Bo one answer and if that answer met any kind of logic, as farfetched as it may be, I'd consider it and I'd give her a chance to see Fleur if she got help for her condition.

I went downstairs and watched her getting up eyeing me carefully. I closed the gap between us making sure she had enough personal space and tried not to look at her much. She looked absolutely adorable when she woke up and partially it was because I could see so much of Fleur in her face. I tried to crack a joke and then kicked myself over the selection.

"I came to make sure you weren't dead." Fuck.

"Wouldn't I be so lucky?" My breath hitched at her words and I frowned.

"Bo…" I tried.

"Don't. We're not friends, remember?" she threw back and in all honesty it hurt.

I gave her a curt nod and decided to go straight down to business.

"Did… did you know about Fleur?" she shook her head and leaned back on the couch with her arms folded defensively.

"The only thing I knew about the baby was that it was a girl and that it took a bit to cry. From that moment on she was gone from my life until yesterday."

"Why? Why would you use while you were pregnant?" I pushed and her smile immediately told me it was a bad idea.

"I'm not having a heart to heart with you Doctor, I owe you no answers. I gave up that baby 10 years ago and all of the sudden she shows up at my door saying she's my daughter and not telling me where she lives. I didn't ask for this." I felt as if I had been stung and I rapidly grasped for anything to recover my wounded ego.

"Of course Ms Denis, I understand. Fleur and I will be leaving shortly. The roads have been plowed."

With that I turned and left ascending the stairs. I collected my daughter quickly, bid my farewell to Ryan, thanked him for his hospitality and left. As we drove back I couldn't help but think about the devastation I had seen in Bo's eyes when she realized the sleeping child next to me had been hurt by her. Somehow I couldn't help but wonder if I'd ever see her again or if this had been a push too far in the wrong direction. I certainly hope not. I only knew that in regards to wounds to the heart like these only time could tell the truth.


	4. Chapter 4

**Things get rocky in this chapter. I know a lot of you don't really like Lauren when in Bo's POV but I hope this chapter will give a slight insight to how she thinks. I love you all and your wonderful reviews. I'm more than ecstatic that you guys are enjoying this journey as much as I enjoy writing it.**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love:**

 **Chapter 04:**

To say I was nervous was an understatement, I was aeons past that. I had been trying to compose myself since that cryptic phone call but I couldn't stop the churning in my stomach. I had an immense sense of doom and I didn't know what to do about it.

It had been a couple of weeks since we had returned from Ottawa. Two weeks to be exact and things were just starting to go back to normal. Or so I thought. I let out a frustrated breath as I stared at my phone as if it was going to bite me in some sort of way.

"Fuck man, you get weirder and weirder since you came back. What's up with you now?" Tamsin rolled her eyes at me effectively snapping me out of my trance.

I frowned deeply and looked up at her indignantly. She kept saying cryptic stuff since I had returned with Fleur and I just couldn't get to the bottom of it. I was tired of keeping up with my life now-a-days. Fleur was holding a grudge at me for how we left Ottawa, she was convinced I had done something to Bo to make her so distant. In reality I had done nothing of the sort… yet the immense feeling of dread still remained.

"HELLO!?" Tamsin snapped her fingers inches from my eyes and I huffed loudly at her insolence.

"I just got a call from Kenzie and Ryan." I explained as Tamsin's eyes turned into saucers.

"I thought you had said that was over and done with." She threw back in my face and I rolled my eyes.

"Or so I thought I guess." I mused looking down again the logical part of my mind running a mile a minute.

"What did they want?" she asked and my chest tightened as I thought of the possibilities of what they had told me implied.

"They can't find Bo." I shook my head as I said it saddened. "They were wondering if she had tried to contact Fleur. They thought best case scenario she would be trying to make amends."

"Fuck." Tamsin admitted realising the same things I must've "Should… should we tell Fleur?"

"No. We don't know anything concrete. She might've needed a breather, I mean I don't know the woman but she seemed genuinely fond of Fleur. She had also mentioned she was 4 years sober." I left the thought hang and Tamsin nodded.

"You want to think that sobriety meant enough to not be wasted somewhere by now." She finished and I nodded lost in thought already.

I finished my workday quickly and headed home as fast as I could. I was hoping to seek comfort in Fleur's company and distract myself from my rampant thoughts. However when I came home the house was dark and empty, there was a note from Dyson to let me know he had taken Fleur for a sleep over. I sighed and cursed his timing as I took my clothes off on my way to the bath.

I ran the warm water as I dropped oils and leaves that scented the room immediately. I threw my robe on once the bath was ready and grabbed myself a glass and a bottle of champagne from the wine fridge. I hung my robe as I filled up the glass and carefully stepped in the bath ready to unwind. The road back hadn't been an easy one and part of the reason why I thought Fleur was at Dyson's was because she was still mad at me.

" _I don't understand why we had to leave so suddenly." Fleur sulked in her seat as she looked out the window._

 _I drove carefully biting the inside of my cheek thinking of what to say. I didn't want her to think that this was in any way alright, her running across cities like this. I also didn't want her to think I was some maniac who didn't want her to meet her mom. Flashes of Bo's scared and panicked eyes flashed in mind and I gripped the steering wheel tighter. Bo was in no place healthy to be with Fleur right now that was for sure._

" _We left because we weren't invited in the first place Fleur." I tried explaining "those people have their own lives and their own problems to deal with."_

" _Well they seemed pretty accommodating when I was there." She huffed trying to sound older and eloquent._

" _I understand that Fleur, but sometimes when people like Bo ask for distance from a situation it's because they need it." I didn't want to share too much but I wanted Fleur to know the truth._

" _People like Bo you say!" she sounded so angry I almost didn't recognize her "You don't know Bo, you barely got her name before you started judging her Momma!"_

" _That's… that's not true Fleur!" I defended myself taken aback "You think you know Bo?"_

" _I don't! That's what I was there for, to know her!" she threw back._

" _Why didn't you tell me about this? I would've helped you" I tried diverting the conversation as I drove._

" _Just like you helped me get to know Bo. You were there for two hours before I saw the last of her." She muttered and I sighed knowing she was done talking._

I hadn't gotten a better treatment the last few weeks. One or two word answers for the necessary items and her headphones were back on her ears. I hated the cliché we had become. I might have been wrong in how I handled some situations but in the end nobody had given me a manual on Fleur or how to raise her. I had only been given a baby and some vague instructions the rest I had learned as I went. It was my first time at this, and I was very confused by how I was feeling.

In one hand I was very regretful of how I had handled the situation with Bo. I was very ashamed that I had let jealousy take a hold of me in such force. To be honest I had always had Dyson and Tamsin to help me with Fleur but it was always very clear that I was her mother and she was my child. The second Bo came into the picture, whether she wanted to or not that notion was put into question in my mind. Now in hindsight I saw that my reaction had been pretty irrational and instead of fearing Fleur's curiosity I should've encouraged it and helped her with it. In my defense I had held on to the grudge against Bo for so long I didn't know how to dispose of it without losing the control I had in my mind.

In the other hand the time I had spent alone with Bo had given me a glimpse into a very unstable mind. It scared me how fast Bo had gone into despair over an argument. At first I had thought that perhaps she was trying to create a diversion or some way to manipulate me, but as I grew closer I could see the raw despair in her. It scared me the lost look she wore as she walked aimlessly behind the car. It terrified me the way she got completely and utterly immersed in a panic attack that I couldn't pull her out of. The doctor in my had come out to help her in the time of need but as much as the human in me wanted to resent her and keep my walls up her suffering tugged at my heart.

In my haste I had tried to alleviate her by giving her comfort. For the life of me I cannot understand what came over me to kiss her, but once I did it was like nothing I had ever experienced. When she kissed me back it was electric and intense, like a thousand lightbulbs lighting up my skin making it tingle in the process. I was completely and utterly lost in her for however many second our lips were together and then it abruptly came to a stop as she pushed me away.

The words that fell out of her mouth brought me out of my haze and towards reality. She was a recovering addict. My heart hammered in my chest as I knew deep down that I could not allow Fleur to be there any longer.

My phone beeped with a message bringing me out of my thoughts. I realized the water was now cold and my champagne forgotten and warm. I sighed and hopped out of the bath draining it. I threw my robe on once more and took the champagne to the kitchen before checking my phone.

 _ **Fleur is fast asleep. She asked to stay over, I'm sorry things are still rough.**_

 _ **-D**_

 _ **Thanks for taking her tonight. It is what it is.**_

 _ **-Lau.**_

The thing about being alone was the fact that it let my mind run rampant. I KNEW I was alone so it would just run with whatever was nagging at me and right now it had been that phone call I had received at the clinic. I knew Kenzie and Ryan wouldn't have gone to the lengths of tracking me down if they didn't think it was serious. They had tried playing it cool but I could hear the underlying desperation in their voice.

I sighed and got dressed in something comfortable before grabbing my laptop and going to my favourite search engine. I typed what I wanted to know quickly and waited a few seconds. My eyes scanned the page quickly as I pushed my blonde hair out of my face, trying to find the appropriate website to start reading. I clicked on the third one and grabbed one of my notepads before I stated reading and making annotations.

My eyes drooped with fatigue as I pushed myself even more. I could tell the sun had started to come out and it was now morning. I was still in front of my laptop, a forgotten half eaten sandwich in a plate on the bedside table as I tried to read the next sentence to no avail. I sighed loudly to keep me from sobbing. Everything I had tried reading was pointing to the same inevitable direction and I wasn't quite ready to accept it. I closed the laptop deciding to think about it more later. As I laid my head on the pillow the sleep that came was restless and left me more drained then refreshed.

"Momma come on we're going to be late!" I heard Fleur's voice bounce off the walls.

"I'm coming sweet pea, I just have to grab my phone" I hollered from the bathroom as I reached for the cell phone and stuffed it in my pocked rushing downstairs.

"Are you ready now? I turned on the car like Auntie Tam Tam showed me." Fleur grinned widely and I chuckled.

"I am ready now, thanks for turning on the car."

We made our way to the car and piled in. I had been getting much better treatment from Fleur recently and between the clinic and Fleur's first hockey tournament of the year time was passing by like a whirlwind. We were all set out for the road and I couldn't be happier.

The drive to the venue was fun as we sang the latest pop songs and Fleur tried to quiz me on hockey culture. I had been taking less hours at the clinic and more at the new research facility so I could be home with Fleur more often. I was also trying to learn as much as I could from the sports she loved but much of that was still over my head. When we parked I noticed her excitement and smiled. I was happy we were back to how things were before.

She grabbed her bags before giving me a huge hug and a kiss. She was excited for this game and I was excited to see her. Dyson and Tamsin should've been arriving shortly and I moved to the stands to grab us good seats. I busied myself with listening to the parents around me, the stands were buzzing but not yet full. I smiled hoping my girl had a great game.

My phone distracted me out of my thoughts as it rung loudly. I hurried and grabbed it throwing a worried look towards the caller ID.

"Kenzie?" I asked hoping this was a courtesy call.

"I… hey Lauren." Her voice sounded unsure and I sighed, I had completely forgotten about this the whole week.

"Did you guys find her?" I asked as I heard her whimper in the other line. "We almost had her. She got away, but now we know. She relapsed Lauren."

I groaned in frustration as I heard exactly the words I had been dreading. I shook my head as I realized I was shedding tears for this woman. I closed my eyes and my mind took me back to that kiss. I grimaced at the memory as I knew, I REALLY knew.

"What… why are you calling me?" I asked suddenly angry we had been dragged into a situation such as this.

"Because my best fucking friend who had been sober for four years is now on a Goddamn bender! Because you DID something to her, and I don't fucking know what but I know she was fucking fine before you made your appearance and devastated after." I struggled to hold my composure as the small woman yelled all the things I didn't want to face. "so this is a courtesy call that I might need a favour soon and when that come you're going to step up because you owe me. Big time."

With that the line went dead and I spent the rest of the night with a sick feeling in my stomach. I left early and drove home by myself, leaving Fleur with Dyson and Tamsin to enjoy the tournament. I had told them all I didn't feel well and needed to come back home to rest but as I got inside the house I just crumbled on the floor in a mess of sobs. I couldn't stop thinking of the damn kiss and I knew, I just KNEW I had pushed Bo back into using, I KNEW it had been that kiss.

When morning came I was in the office early. It felt weird being in the patient side of the room but I knew there was no way I could avoid this. I walked in smoothing my skirt as my name was called. When I walked inside I saw my old friend's face with a gentle smile and I instantly felt better already.

"Lauren, what a pleasant surprise! I had hoped you never needed my help" she chuckled as she hugged me.

"Oh well, you know Cassie, being a mother and a doctor ain't easy" I tried to joke but she caught the attempt clearly.

"Sit and tell me what brings you to my office." She instructed as she offered me a seat.

Cassie was a short tanned woman with dark hair and vibrant eyes. She had taken some pre-med courses with Tamsin and I despite being much younger. She had graduated top of her class in psychology and we always bugged her for being a shrink, yet here I was.

"I… where do I start?" I chuckled nervously.

"The beginning."

So I did. I told her everything she didn't know. From Fleur being addicted as a child, to her looking for her birth mother, to us finding her and to me doing the stupid things I did. She listened intently without judgement as I confessed how attractive the woman was and how much I had really enjoyed our contact even though I hated myself for it. She took notes as I described Bo's addictions and her panic attack in detail. She asked me more about our time in the basement and our interactions and lastly I explained to her about the phone calls and Bo's relapse.

In the end of it all I was crying. I was scared that this was happening in my life. Never in a million years did I think we'd be involved directly or indirectly with addiction after Fleur's origins, but I found myself compelled to help Bo and fix my mistakes. I wanted to have the proper tools to help her get out of the mess I had made in her life.

Cassie had unfortunately confirmed my biggest fears. It was more than likely that I had pushed Bo into the relapse she was having at the moment. Whether it was with the new information of Fleur's addiction at birth or the fact that I had kissed a sex-addict we couldn't be sure.

After I left my session and booked a few more appointments to meet with Cassie again I felt better about the whole situation. I knew I could not take back what I had done but Cassie had also explained it was up to Bo to want to get better and get help as well.

Fleur was awake by the time I had gotten home. I had convinced her to get dressed quickly so we could make breakfast in time. Her eleventh birthday was soon approaching and I was eager to know what she wanted to do that day. She was now turning more social and talkative about her friends, school and boys. Even though I didn't like the latter I was relieved to find she confided in me in which she though were cute and which weren't.

I was passing by the bathroom when I heard a loud crash. I worriedly rushed to the door and tried to open it noting it was locked.

"Fleur, are you alright!?" I yelled worried.

"I'm fine Momma I dropped the soap and slipped." I heard her small voice come through.

"Do you need me to come in?" I offered worried.

"No Momma, I'm good."

I stood a few seconds more by the door and didn't peel off as I gave it a second thought. After a while I heard her singing her favourite pop tune of the moment and I sighed with relief as I moved away trying to finish getting ready for our day out.

Fleur was dressed in record time and came out to the car with a smile. She looked older than she was in her jeans and red hoodie, it pained me to see how much she resembled her mother. I shook those thoughts away for now desperate to enjoy the day with my daughter.

We went to our favourite breakfast place and we piled our plates. Fleur had a healthy serving of practically everything and we laughed as we people watched. As the time progressed so did our conversation and inevitably we were back in the topic I wanted to avoid the most.

"I don't understand how her mood shifted so fast. She was so nice to me Momma." Fleur admitted and I nodded with a huge sigh.

I just wasn't ready to explain to her that I was the one that had driven Bo away. I was afraid she would hate me the second she'd find out. My phone vibrated on the table bailing me out of an answer as I threw her an apologetic look and she excused herself for the bathroom.

 _ **I have the information you needed. I also got in contact with the people you told me about. Thanks for letting me help. I'll email everything you need to know.**_

 _ **-D**_

I typed a quick thanks and set my phone aside eager to continue the day with my girl. She returned in a good mood from the restroom and after we paid our bill we went to the mall so she could get herself some clothes. To me it was like therapy being with Fleur and I enjoyed every second I could get with the kid.

After dinner she insisted on doing the dishes and I chuckled letting her. She wanted to thank me for her new wardrobe and this was how. I loved how good and considerate she was and kissed her cheek before heading to grab my laptop. I scanned through my emails and as my eyes fell in the one from Dyson I frowned clicking it.

I read as fast as I could, my brow furrowing and my frown deepening as I went. It seemed Bo had a juvie record and had jumped from therapist onto therapist in the last ten years with no success. The only thing I could see her excelling at was her career. I frowned as I looked into an old-supposed to be deleted- social media profile with her name on it. Dyson had very powerful hackers at his disposal. It was full of partying pictures and her doing drugs off of people, making out with all sorts of people and as I scrolled down finding a toppless picture of her I looked away scrolling up. I had seen enough. The pictures had been posted two years ago and I frowned. I had believed her when she had told me she had been sober for four years.

I realized then that this could very well be a typical Bo cycle. Try different therapists, relapse, work, do over. I had worked with lots of addicts in my ER that went through similar cycles. If the addict didn't want the help it was pointless. I huffed angrily as I realized that Bo had not changed and probably couldn't. She was still the same party girl who had given Fleur up. The same addict who had gotten her daughter addicted. I shook my head in disgust and closed the laptop after erasing the email. I had seen enough and I wasn't getting involved. Neither was Fleur, we were done with that hot mess.

I was startled out of my thoughts as I heard a plate crash. I rushed into the living room and paled at the sight. It looked like Fleur was on the floor having some sort of seizure. I rushed to her side to assess the situation as I tried to calm down and think rationally.

I put her on her side as I leaned her against my knees and I rubbed circles around her back as I counted the seconds with my watch. I whispered soothing things as the episode passed while I tried to calm my racing heart. When I saw her convulsions seize and her eyes blink slowly as she came to I stopped counting and moved to look at her eyes.

"Can you hear me Fleur?" I asked firmly as I did with my patients.

"Yes" she croaked and I almost lost it at the fear in her voice.

"How many times has this happened. Don't lie" my heart was hammering in my chest as I waited for her answer.

Tears fell down her cheeks as she shook her head slightly. I grew scared and wiped her tears away trying to reassure her.

"Come on sweet pea, Momma needs to know." I whispered.

"This is the second time today." She admitted and I held back a sob.

"It's… it's ok, we'll call Auntie Tam Tam and we'll figure this out, ok?" I tried to assure her and myself.

It had been almost a month and we were nowhere close to the answers we needed. It had been test after test leaving us with more answers than questions. Tamsin and I had been working on this around the clock only taking breaks when Dyson pressured us to.

Fleur had been placed in a medically induced coma to relieve the stress in the brain that was causing the now incredibly violent seizures. It wasn't ideal, in fact, I hated having her in such state which is why I wanted to come up with an answer sooner rather than later. Tamsin was just looking through her CT scan one last time.

I answered my phone which was vibrating in my pocket and took a deep sigh when I heard Russian in the other line.

"Text me the directions and get ready I'm cashing in that favour."

With that the line went dead and I stared at the phone as I hung my head back. I looked at Tamsin who was now staring at me and I groaned.

"I'm getting some visitor's soon. I don't know what's up. All I know is that I need a tranquilizer." I said as I laughed in the end this sounded so goddamn ridiculous, my life was now a movie.

"We don't need this right now." Tamsin reprimanded and I shook my head slightly.

"We need a break Tamsin, our minds are fried. Go home for a few hours, take a nap next to your husband and be normal for 4-6 hours." I suggested knowing it was true.

"While you sit here and torment yourself for not finding a cure yet? I don't think so." She rolled her eyes and I sighed as I grabbed a syringe and started texting Kenzie the directions.

"I'm going to distract myself with whatever the Russian mafia is bringing me Tams. Go home. Come back later. It's not a request." I ordered as the blonde scoffed grabbing her papers.

"Some fucking friend YOU are!" she grumbled as she walked away "You're lucky I love this brat and that I'll fucking be back later."

I chuckled and threw my head back on the chair I slumped in while I sent Kenzie the rest of the directions. I knew she'd be here soon and I honestly didn't know what to expect. This could be anything at this point. I didn't even know what Kenzie did for a living that she'd need to tranquilize somebody.

I heard a car pull up to the back entrance and grabbed the two syringes that I had prepared just in case it was a bigger subject than expected. I had decided I owed Kenzie this favour and I wouldn't ask questions or argue it. My mind was too tired with everything going on with Fleur to make anything of this strange situation. It was only when Kenzie got out of the driver's seat and I saw the back window of the truck busted that I wondered that was going on.

Kenzie pulled me away from the truck. For a small woman she really packed a punch and the look she was giving me could've easily killed a small army. I had remembered I had stopped feeling guilty over someone who had made the same mistakes countless times. However when Kenzie spoke my resolve waivered.

"I was gonna leave you out of this. Just cause I thought it'd be bad for her too, but you HAVE to see this. It's so next time you feel like touching my friend… YOU DON'T." she warned and pushed me towards the door.

I was completely and utterly unprepared for what I saw. Bo's eyes were dull and lifeless but once they connected with mine they watered and her lips drew in a small gasp. I could tell she had been struggling but now she was clam and steady. She had a vacant look in her eyes, her hair was dull and she looked so skinny. She looked sick and fragile and so different from the woman I had met a mere two months ago. I was saddened within my soul to see what had become of Bo. Her hand trembled as she caressed my cheek and when I thought I couldn't bare anymore her raspy broken voice pierced my soul.

"Lauren"

I closed my eyes in pain as I injected her and within seconds she was out like a light and I let the tears and pain I felt overwhelm me. They were gone in a flash and I was left there feeling broken and responsible. I couldn't believe how utterly hopeless Bo looked. It haunted my soul to no end and I thought I couldn't live with myself after that.

The next few months were spent researching in the clinic for Fleur's cure or having sleepless nights over nightmares of Bo. Fleur was out of her coma and improving greatly, almost back to normal when it came to her proper functions. The problem was we knew she would eventually get this again. It was a catch 22 we hadn't cracked yet, so much mystery surrounded her condition that I couldn't wrap my head around it. If only I had her genealogy, her parental medical history maybe…

I closed my eyes tightly not wanting to venture down that road. I was so upset with how badly Bo had stumbled to my door that I couldn't even think her. I couldn't even begin to think how to explain to her that Fleur was sick without fearing her having another breakdown, another relapse. I couldn't have that in my hands again, I could barely sleep as it was.

I sighed as my assistant gave me a paper with a request to do a sports medicine interview. I was about to toss the distraction aside when I read the name on the envelope. **Capital Market Media**. That was Bo's firm, I was sure of it from the research Dyson had done on her. I instructed my assistant to accept saying I was in Ottawa. I was hesitant to walk down this path. I knew we had bought Fleur at least 6-8 months seizure free with the serum. I needed Bo's help but not at the expense of her sobriety or my daughter's heart. I had to be cautious with every step I took.

I had hoped that Bo could start with honesty, if I could see honesty from her then maybe I could consider her being slightly in Fleur's life. Maybe then it would be easier to break down the news, get the genetic information I needed and figure how to solve this together. The fact that her office had contacted me for a meeting did not seem honest to me though.

After getting caught up in some paperwork my phone rung. I looked at it expectantly and found the ID to reveal it was Bo's marketing firm. I took a deep breath and again hoped for honesty from Bo.

"Dr. Lewis." I answered as I waited for her voice.

"Hello Dr. Lewis, I…I saw that you've enlisted in a sports medicine spot for the local Ottawa zine and it happens that I'll be your interviewer…" she chuckled nervously.

"Who's speaking?" I played dumb pushing her to come forward and drop the act.

My hopes for honesty were slowly vanishing.

"It's Bo Dennis." She admitted finally.

I took a deep breath knowing this wasn't going to end how I wanted it to.

"I'm sorry Bo, I have to-"I tried to cut this short knowing it was of no use.

"I was just wondering if you'd meet up with me. I wanted to talk about Fleur, I've been thinking a lot."

"Bo. No… this is-" I started to grow angry at her audacity, she couldn't see Fleur if she was lying.

"I'm doing really good, and I think I'm ready…" she tried and I scoffed.

"How long have you been sober?" I asked with finality.

"Lauren, we've talked about this…" she tried to evade but I needed to make sure she wasn't going to be honest with me. I was giving her one more chance.

"How long?"

"Almost 5 years now." I felt my cheeks stain with tears as I let out the breath I had been holding.

"I cannot do this with you Bo. I won't do this to Fleur it was bad enough that a few months ago I allowed it but you're lying to my face now-" I was beyond livid she had lied so blatantly to me.

"Wait, what? A few months?"

"Don't play dumb Bo, I saw how incredibly trashed you were last time. You relapsed! You're not coming near my daughter until you're better… and even then…" I looked at Fleur as she tried to play her videogame knowing I couldn't place my trust in Bo.

"What? How long? I've been getting help. Let's start this conversation over please." She begged but I wasn't having it.

"Lies Bo. I'm not falling for this. I'm a doctor. Six months. Be sober for six more months and we'll see." I offered knowing I couldn't buy more time than that. I'd have to take a gamble then and I was putting all our faith in Bo.

"But Lauren…" she tried once more.

"I don't trust you Bo, I really don't. I shouldn't even be considering this, but for Fleur's sake I will give you the benefit of the doubt. Take it as incentive or whatever you want, but mark my words: if you make me regret giving you this chance I will end you." I threatened knowing Fleur's life could very well be in her hands.

"I will do my best." She whispered and I grew angrier.

"You'll have to do better than that."

With that I hung up and I silently prayed that Bo could be strong for the three of us.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the wonderful reviews. I would like to make a couple of things clear. My characters are HUMAN and therefore like us don't have the luxury of perfection. They react to situations the only way they know how and with a passion for the conflict in question. This is a fic of human struggle and with that I ask that you guys keep an open mind. Not everyone reacts the same to every situation not even when you have the same genetic make-up. With that being said, I love you all for reading and as promised, here's the next chapter!**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 05:**

I remember being shaken awake and I groaned as I flipped over and stared into the scruffy face of my best friend. He gave me a half smile and backed off giving me space to wake up. I was confused as the sun seemed to be in a different position than I wanted it to be. He cleared his throat offering me a mug of coffee and I took a sip gratefully.

"You snoozed your alarm twice before I came up here Lau." He mentioned gently "come on, it's time to get up."

I nodded and rose up from the bed noting I had fallen asleep on my work clothes again. I wrinkled my nose in disgust and Dyson laughed at me.

"You have five minutes. Fleur is at school and Tamsin is already in the lab. Remember you need to make that phone call today." He reminded and I nodded.

I had broken down yesterday night when Fleur had a small seizure after dinner. It had been so alike the first one I had witnessed that I cried as I held her thinking I was going to lose her. It was an awakening experience to say the least and after I had called Dyson and Tamsin to spend the night with us. I was tired and felt alone. I had told them I couldn't wait any longer to see if Bo would recover and stay sober, I needed her help with Fleur. She had genetic material I would never be able to provide.

I let the water wash over me warm and pure feeling like perhaps it was time that I trusted someone blindly. It was a huge leap of faith Fleur could get hurt, Bo could get hurt and inevitably I would get hurt. However the experience last night had showed me that even if I was a Doctor I couldn't guarantee that Fleur would ever live a long happy life. She could be gone tomorrow for all I knew and that terrified me. If anything it had given me the strength to admit that I had been looking at things the wrong way.

I sighed and turned off the water knowing I had to get going. I dried myself and threw on some jeans and a long sleeve. I knew I'd be spending most of my time in the lab so there was no time to waste. I grabbed my phone and decided that now was a good a time as any.

With shaking hands I pulled the phone to my ear after dialing the number I had memorized. I had been trying to find the courage to call this number for the last two weeks. I feel horribly guilty thinking I could've prevented last night's outcome. To my great relief, or disappointment, it went to voicemail. I felt that this was something much too heavy to leave in a machine so I decided to try again later.

Dyson was waiting for me outside the bathroom with a folder and some toast. I took a bite of the bread grateful for the man in our lives and read over the files Tamsin had sent me. It seemed the condition was progressing faster than we had expected it to. I groaned in defeat as I felt how the tears threatened to fall.

Dyson and I parted ways when he left for the precinct. I took my car to the lab and went over more tests with Tamsin. She went to smoke a cigarette while I read some different files. She had picked up the habit after Fleur's last seizure and as much as I hated that she had picked up the habit sometimes I thought of getting the release as well. I read the file for the thousandth time and threw it on the floor. It all seemed so frustratingly useless that I didn't understand half of it anymore. I sat on my desk as I put my head in my hands as tears ran down my face. I had my back against the wall with this one.

I felt so helpless and alone but mostly scared. My eyes teared up with new droplets as I thought about Bo. That's what she must've felt like the day I sedated her. She must've been helpless and alone and scared like I was right now. With a deep breath it was as if I longed for the other woman to understand that I got it now, that I didn't judge her anymore. I wanted to ask for forgiveness and make peace for Fleur's sake at least. I wanted Fleur to get to know Bo as she had wanted to.

I turned on the phone and dialed the number again, silently praying.

"Hello?" I heard her voice come through clear and lucid, the relief that washed over me was so overwhelming I forgot how to speak for a moment.

"Bo?" I asked hopeful that my mind was not playing tricks on me.

"I… yes." She stammered and I couldn't stop my rambling.

"I'm sorry to call, I know you must be very busy."

"I'm in the middle of a very important meeting… may… may I know what this is about?" she asked tightly and I took a deep breath not knowing how to broach this, I was scared to push her into the darkness I had thrown her in once before.

"Fleur is sick. I need your help. I was wondering if I could fly you to Toronto, I wouldn't have called-'

"I have to go." She cut me off and in seconds the other line was dead.

I let my head fall on my desk once more as I felt the rest of the hope I held close to me slip away. I wanted to hold on to this possibility as the way we would fix Fleur but now I realized I was hoping for too much. I didn't blame Bo, not in the slightest, I had dropped some heavy shit on her and I kicked myself wondering if she was in a downward spiral right now.

I didn't think I could live with that in my conscience twice so I picked up the phone once more and hit the green button. After three rings it went to voicemail and I closed my eyes trying to understand the fact that this was a dead end now. I just hoed beyond hope that Bo was still sober and healthy. I couldn't bear the thought of breaking her down again.

I silently got up and went over to the small bathroom by the lab. I washed my face and dried it carefully as I stared at my reflection. I was tired and I had just lost the only lead I had. I got out of there and headed for my car. I had decided to go to Fleur's favorite donut shop and get her favourites. I'd wait for her to come out of hockey practice and then we'd try and figure this out one way or another. I fought myself not to cry again when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. My hands shook as I pressed the button and I spoke fast into the device.

"Bo? Please don't hang up again. Please"

"I'm sorry Lauren, I needed a second to process everything." Relief washed through me once more as I registered that she was alright and lucid.

"Of course." I whispered understanding.

"I think you mentioned something about Fleur." I could hear the hesitation in her voice and I frowned.

"I don't know when the next flight to Toronto is, I can probably-"

"I'm in Toronto, I'm near the Roger's Centre." She cut me off and I close my eyes in relief as I turned on my car peeling out.

"Can I pick you up? I'm not far from there actually." I hoped I wasn't going too fast for her or anything.

"I'm by the hotel in the south entrance. You better not be texting and driving."

"I have a handsfree." I shot back fighting the urge to laugh "I'll be there soon, I think you remember my car."

"I do." With that we hung up.

I drove faster than I usually allowed myself and that got me there in half the time. I wanted to chastise myself for it but I was convinced nothing could bring my mood down. I had hope once more. When I pulled up I noticed Bo was standing outside of the hotel. I could probably make her face amongst the largest of crowds and I didn't miss the way her smile lit up. I don't know if it was because of the circumstances in which I had seen her last but she looked so beautiful and vibrant right now that it took my breath away.

I tried to get a grip on myself and opened the door for her to hop in. When she did we glanced at each other sharing a smile. I drove in silence at first. Our last meeting in person hadn't ended good and our phone conversation much less. I concentrated on the road because if I looked at her I might've broken out in song. I don't know if it was the doctor in me but seeing her in such a disheartened state before and seeing her now I wanted to smile like a dork. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel so I didn't sing this crappy pop song that Fleur love but before I knew it I was singing along softly.

I felt Bo shift in her seat and I ventured a glance towards her. Every time I saw her it was as if seeing her through new eyes and her beauty took me away once more. I sighed trying to calm down when I heard her speak.

"How bad is it?"

"She's had a recurring virus that's starting to worry me. I want to rule out the probability of it being an immune system disease. For me to know she's genetically sound I need some of your DNA, make sure you're clear." I had to lie, I couldn't tell her how bad it really was.

With Bo I now felt like walking on glass. I wanted her on a need-to-know basis that could accommodate her recovering state of mind until I could gage how much she could really take without breaking.

"So for now, it's pre-emptive?" She sounded hopeful so I nodded.

She seemed happy with the answer so I let the radio take over the space of our voices. I wanted to reach over and hold her hand, explain that I was sorry. So many things I wished I could say or do. Cassie had explained to me that if Bo ever came to me I had to be careful with her comfort zone. With her recovery a lot of the things we would take for granted like comfort could be triggers so I tried to be mindful.

For now I concentrated on how good her perfume smelled and the sound of the awful pop song Fleur liked playing over the speakers. I turned into the garage of my lab and threw a small glance at Bo who was taking everything in.

"This is my lab." I explained as we parked and got out of the vehicle "Fleur's at hockey practice, we want to keep her in a regular schedule."

"We?" she seemed confused.

"Tamsin and I, she's my best friend and fellow Doctor. She and her husband have been with me and Fleur from day 1." I explained and she nodded.

"I'm glad Fleur grew up loved." She admitted.

I decided that this was the moment to lay everything on the table. I would provide her a simple out right here. Something she would be comfortable with and still help. I wanted her mental health to be good and if that meant she had changed her mind from a few months back then I would live with that. Fleur had no idea I had done any of these things since I had left Bo's that fateful day, so there weren't any expectations. She could take this if she wanted to.

"Bo…I.. I need your genetics… and…"

"And then I can leave?" she seemed hurt.

I decided I needed to be honest with Bo, she deserved as much if she had come over to help in spite of the situation. I had to lay everything out there and make her see that I was scared for Fleur, I was scared for myself. Because the more I looked at her the more I knew that I was irrevocably attracted to this woman. I would never act on it because I wanted her happiness and I wasn't healthy for her as I had proven before.

"I'm not trying to kick you out. I'm scared Bo… you don't understand…"

"You don't understand Lauren!" she started pacing and I grew frustrated and angry with her.

"Then make me Bo! I have a child who thinks the world of you and I can't tell her what I've seen cause it would devastate her. So make me understand, make me let you in!" It seemed I had gotten through to her because when she spoke she was honest.

"I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone. I long for that feeling to not feel at all, the higher I get the lower I sink. I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim." Her eyes brimmed with tears of frustration and I had never felt the need to comfort someone so strongly as I did right then.

"You were honest." I whispered.

Half of me had expected her to lie again and that made me angry. I wanted to believe her totally but with her past track record I was scared. I didn't want us to become the stereotypical broken parents of a teenager. I caught myself aback in the thought. I had **NEVER** thought of someone as Fleur's co-parent not even Dyson and Tamsin. However I didn't want to get too ahead of myself or Bo's recovery, I knew she wasn't ready or fit to be a parent before and she may never be, but somehow her being here with me made me feel less alone in the situation.

"It's part of my recovery. It took some time, but…" she explained breaking me out of my thoughts.

She sounded so vulnerable and afraid that it broke me, it reminded me of the way my name was etched into my soul with how she had seared it there last time I had seen her. As I studied her features the thought ventured my mind that if the nightmares of the broken Bo could turn into dreams of this Bo I could probably get my bearings about me. I had done nothing but think of her since that last phone call hoping she had been strong enough to not succumb to my pressure.

"Bo, may I touch you?" I ventured, I didn't want to push so suddenly but my need to comfort her, to be comforted was so big I had to ask.

"I would rather you didn't." she said with a slight grimace and I withdrew onto myself again reminding me I was probably crossing some unspoken rule as it was.

"Of course, I'm sorry for asking." I admitted and turned in place to hide the sadness in my face.

I felt myself get pulled back with a soft hand on my own. When I spun around I was mere inches from her gorgeous face and I focused on her expressive eyes as she tried to find the words she wanted to use. She gave me a soft smile and my heart soared at seeing in place, it gave me hope even if I wanted to push it down. Hope that perhaps someday I would not be Bo's torment.

"One day, I will ask you to touch me, to hug me and comfort me… I feel like I would like that from someone like you, someone who has taken such good care of the only good part of me… but until then I ask you to be patient."

Her words passed through me like a warm calming breeze. They washed over me like rain and lodged themselves in my heart. I now knew I wasn't blindly hoping and imagining breakthroughs, she was feeling this too. I looked into her eyes and saw that she did indeed have hope and looked brightly towards the future. I smiled reminding myself that even if I needed the moral support, things with Bo had to be baby steps. Her recovery was looking to be coming along strongly and I would hate to be the killing stone of that path.

I slowly without much more word took her through the lab. Tamsin had gone to lunch with Dyson and I was left alone in the ward we were working on this serum. It felt odd having Bo there, not in a bad way but it made me nervous. She was like a child looking at everything curiously as she kept her wondering hands to the side. I had seen those movements so many times before.

"You look very pretty by the way. I hope I didn't get you fired." I mentioned slightly worried that I had motioning her to sit in the chair across from me.

"Actually, I got a job offer I have to consider." She smiled and I saw how her eyes lit up.

"Oh. Congratulations." I was genuinely happy about that.

"All I need from you is a blood sample. I'll run multiple tests on it and we'll know by the end of the week." I explained getting to work.

To be honest I was nervous, it took everything I had not to tremble as I readied the needle to take Bo's blood. I could vividly see the flashes of how I had tranquilized her before, how lost her eyes had been and how they had focused on me like I was her salvation. I shuddered trying to kick the memories as I shut my eyes and reached for another instrument as a means to calm myself.

I started talking about Doctor patient confidentiality more to recite something to stop my trembling hands. As I rambled on and on I suddenly heard the most beautiful laugh I had ever heard. I turned to see Bo's head thrown back as her chest shook with laughter her eyes shining with mirth. She looked so incredibly happy in that second that it was enough for me to steady my hand. With her distracted I took the opportunity to take her blood while joking about Sidney Crosby and Ovechkin.

"Holy, wow! you give great needle." I laughed at her joke and played along.

"Ah, I get that a lot Bo. I'm glad you noticed though."

I busied myself in the task of analyzing the blood preliminarily. I wanted to get a head start until Tamsin got here. We had taken to working in short shifts relieving each other before fatigue would set in. Working around the clock had gotten us nowhere but somehow I believed that Bo's blood held information about what this was or how to stop it. I was caught up in my work so much I completely forgot Bo was with me until her phone rung.

"Go ahead and answer Bo, it doesn't faze me any." I smiled at her sheepish look.

"Hello?" I heard her before getting back to work.

"Oh my God Ysabeau!" I laughed as I heard Ryan's voice saying her full name. She threw me a playful look and I quieted down as she talked on.

After a few minutes I got caught up on my work once more before I felt a small tap on my shoulder. I looked around and saw Bo reaching the phone towards me.

"It's for you." I wondered what Ryan wanted, probably to threaten my very life if Bo relapsed.

I placed the phone in my ear and smiled at Bo dearly as I heard Ryan's voice fill my ears.

"Aint't she looking awful pretty Doc?" I knew immediately who he spoke about and nodded in spite of myself.

"Yes." I looked away from her blushing trying to get back into focus.

"Let's keep it that way eh? We heard the bean sprout is sick. What can we do Doc? I know the best doctors in the country." He insisted.

"You insult me Ryan." I grumbled and he chuckled nervously.

"Well Doc, I throw money at stuff, it's what I do to make me feel better so if you need anything let me know."

"Thank you." I meant it.

"And Doc, do me a favour and keep an eye on our girl. She's doing really really good and I want to think and hope that this is the time things will stick. I'm not gonna sell you castles in the sky, but just keep an eye on Bo for me until we get there?" he begged.

"I give you my word." I meant it, I would anything in my power to keep Bo sober. "Wait… get here?"

"You didn't think we'd be away from you or Fleur in a moment like this right? We've been through shit, we're family now and this is what family does." He assured me as I felt the tears roll down my cheeks.

"We forgive you Lauren, just make sure it never ever happens again." He firmly stated before he asked for Bo.

"Your friend needs a shrink." I passed the phone with a smile trying to cover my tears.

I looked up from my work when I noticed she stopped talking. Her brow was furrowed with a lone wrinkle in the middle. If I hadn't seen it a thousand times I would've sworn that she was angry but she was thinking. I laughed slightly and her eyes landed on me.

"What?" she asked curious.

"I keep seeing my daughter's reactions on your face Bo."

"Is that a good thing?" she asked as I nodded fondly.

"I think so. I have a feeling you are quite the charmer when you want to be." I said thinking of Fleur's charisma.

I went back to my work at the thought of Fleur. I felt bad for having to ignore Bo for a few minutes but after I bit I saw how she picked up her phone and typed away. I could tell she was engrossed in work by the way her expression changed into a fearless one and she concentrated. I made the decision then and there to help **this** side of Bo come out in all aspects of her life.

It had probably been a while since I had last looked up from my work with the way my muscles were cramping. I stretched out and looked at Bo still typing away. I gazed at her for a bit longer before I cleared my throat.

"You must be starving, I'm sorry I get caught up in my work."

"It's ok, so do I." she admitted shyly.

"We should go have some dinner. We'll go get Fleur first."

"Do you mean…?" She searched my eyes and I nodded knowing in my heart this was right.

"I think it's time you had dinner with her yes." I smiled as the beautiful smile came across her lips "I would like to thank you for your honesty today."

"I'm working on me Lauren. It's not a straight path and it's hard but I know I can do it. Especially if staying on course means dinner with Fleur."

My eyes held hers and I felt so much pride at her words that it was hard to contain myself. This woman had grown so much from when Fleur and I had met her. I had singlehandedly destroyed her and here she was picking herself back up. I saw her eyes flicker and I decided I didn't like the hesitation.

"Hey…" I captured her eyes on my own reassuringly "…there's no obligations here Bo. You're helping us out as it is. It would just be dinner for now. I just want to apologize if Fleur is excited to see you. I hadn't told her you were coming, so she will probably burst."

I wanted her to be ready because I knew Fleur was but ultimately it was up to her. I had to let her take this at her own pace. I felt within me the strength to crack Fleur's illness, somehow with Bo being this well, this strong it gave me strength too. We started walking towards the car again and when she was ready she broke the silence.

"I think I'm ready to see Fleur now." She admitted and my heart raced.

"I think Fleur would like that very much." I admitted knowing it to be true.

We stayed silent as we got in my car, I knew she was battling with herself and knew I had to give her space. Cassie had been very adamant while counseling me that I treated Bo with the proper respect for her recovery.

"Thank you Lauren, for giving me this chance and believing I could change."

"I wanted to think you were stronger than your vices Bo. Thank you for showing me I was right." I admitted and resisted the urge to hold her hand.

With Bo this committed I could accomplish anything in regards to Fleur. This I knew to be true somehow. I would cure my girl and hopefully someday she could cure Bo's heart.


	6. Chapter 6

**I wanted to give a shout out to KTM250 for the amazing review and congrats on that accomplishment! Enjoy this chapter guys, I love all of you beautiful people!**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers, eh!**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 06:**

As we drove around I tried to think of all the things Cassie had told me to work on. I wanted to do well around Bo and not push her to an uncomfortable area. I concentrated on driving to calm my nerves. I was on pins and needles with Bo, I had no idea what was safe to talk about. I tried getting her into a neutral safe position like Cassie had suggested.

I had been visiting her twice a week since Fleur got **really** sick, not only for my own sanity but also because I had decided I would start looking for Bo. I wanted to be equipped with the tools to prevent any hiccups or setbacks Bo had in her recovery. Because deep down I knew, I always knew Bo would sober up for Fleur. From the moment I saw them together I knew they were good for one another and that had made me jealous and bitter. I nervously decided to break the silence.

"If at any time, any of this is too overwhelming.." I offered softly.

She shook her head and gave me a look that said 'I've got this'. I smiled as I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel to the soft humming of the radio. It was a reflex but it kept me centered when too nervous behind the wheel.

"I think I'll be ok. I just… just keep talking to me like you've been doing. You're really making things easier for me." I nodded not knowing how to react to the compliment.

"Is there anything you want to talk about before we get Fleur?" I blurted out and regretted sounding like Cassie.

"You Doctors are all the same, which reminds me, I never got to ask you what kind of Doctor are you?" her laughter almost made me not answer as I reveled on the sound of it as it filled the car.

"I'm… I'm a research doctor now, I used to be an ER Doctor."

"An ER doctor sounds intense" She countered with a raised eyebrow.

"I saw a lot of hardcore stuff." I wrinkled in disdain remembering the horrors I had seen.

"Lots of people needing help like me." She lamented and I was quick to counter that train of thought rapidly.

"Lots of people GETTING help, like you."

"It's like you were out saving the world" she mentioned and I sighed.

"I got too caught up in that didn't realize my daughter needed me." I whispered regretfully.

I thought about sadly all the things I had missed with Fleur. I had been a slave to the job in order to maintain some sort of structure within the chaos of raising a child. I wasn't a bad parent by any stretch of the imagination, but I could've probably been there more than I wanted to admit. Now with her illness I had no idea how long I had bought us but I was going to make it count until I could find a cure. I **would** find a cure with Bo's help now.

"So it's your first time to Toronto?" I tried conversing with her.

"Yes, it is." She mentioned as she looked out the window.

"What have you seen so far?" I asked curiously.

"I got in last night so not much yet." She admitted.

"We could take you out tomorrow if you'd like" I offered hoping it wasn't too forward of me.

"I'd like that." She admitted before hesitating. "If everything goes well with Fleur of course."

"I have a feeling things will go well Bo." I confessed as I pulled into the parking lot.

Reality was that Fleur had been wanting to see Bo again for a very long time.

" _Could you please pass me the gravy?" I asked as Fleur huffed and handed me the item._

" _I just don't understand why we haven't made another go at it mom. I know you said that Bo needed some time but… I mean…" her voice grew quiet and I sighed. "…and you can't tell me?"_

" _It's not my story to tell babes. Ask Bo someday when you feel that_ _ **she's**_ _ready." I advise and she nodded._

 _I had tried to foster the idea in her that Bo may or may not come back to her life. I had explained to her that she had in some way surprised Bo immensely by showing up at her doorstep and that maybe Bo wasn't ready for that. Or she may never be ready for that but either way I wanted Fleur to know it wasn't her fault, or even Bo's. Life sometimes had a funny way of taking a gigantic crap on you and circumstances would make you take a step back before stepping forward._

" _Fleur, honey… sometimes things come to us when we least expect them. Have faith in Bo, you need to let her figure things out on her own alright?" I mentioned softly as she sighed and nodded._

" _When we least expect them." She repeated._

When she least expected it was here for better or worse. I was done playing the buffer between my child and life. She wanted to see Bo and I believed Bo was ready for that now. If not then we would find a way to fix it and Fleur would learn and grow from it. I was prepared for either outcome but I was willing to try. The sudden close calls with Fleur had opened my eyes.

"We're here." I mentioned as I parked.

"Here?" she seemed confused.

"This is the arena where Fleur practices. We had to pick her up remember?" I smiled at her cuteness and almost couldn't contain my excitement.

We got out silently and as I locked the car I could tell Bo was deep in thought. I had decided to give her some space and silently led her inside. As we went inside I looked back to make sure that Bo was still with me and not too overwhelmed. She gave me a soft smile and I could feel my heart melting for her by the second.

Having her here with me so close reminded me of when we kissed making my heart beat faster and louder in my chest. Even though I knew what had happened was a onetime thing and more of a fluke than anything, I hadn't stopped thinking of how soft her lips were since I had first tasted them. I was too angry and naïve back then to admit it but Bo Denis had some sort of magnetic pull on me that I couldn't quite figure out. It was partially what had driven me to keep her at a distance until now.

I saw that the arena was crowded and decided to give my hand out to Bo. I didn't know if this was ok, but after a slight hesitation she took it. I weaved us through the crowd to the player's bench and scanned the ice for Fleur. I had kept Bo's hand in mine relishing the warmth of her skin, I knew I was being a little selfish and pushing my luck. Truth was that I didn't know if Bo was suddenly going to bolt on us so I wanted to enjoy every second I got. Suddenly I felt her squeeze my hand softly and tug at it as well. I turned to her curiously and she smiled at me.

"Can I guess which one she is?" I couldn't help the smile her excitement brought me.

"Why of course! Red jerseys on Thursdays." I noted and watched her scan the ice.

I watched as she carefully scanned the ice. I didn't know if Fleur had talked to her about hockey, chances were high that she had. The girl liked sports like nothing else and maybe now I could see where it was coming from. Bo's face lit up with recognition and I followed her eyes where my girl was standing.

"So they have a rotating goalie schedule" she finally mentioned and I knew she had picked her out.

"So observant!" I congratulated.

I was caught up looking at the older brunette. She had turned to me with a beautiful smile on her face that made me blush. I was about to say something when I noticed my child behind her… **our** child. She looked so much like Bo now that she was turning into a lady.

Her hair was now long and getting darker to that shade of dark chocolate that I loved so much. She had started to shed the child-like features and was starting to get her more teenage ones. I was proud of the lady she was becoming, she was smart, hardworking like me but she also knew when to pull back and balance her activities being care-free and caring at the same time. I looked at Bo and wondered if perhaps that's the woman I would've met if these demons didn't plague her so. I watched as Fleur tapped Bo's shoulder and the older woman turned. This was it, the moment of truth.

"Oh em gee!" Fleur bounced around on her skates excitedly. "I looked over and saw Momma and I couldn't tell who she was standing with…"

"Slow down Fleur" I could tell she was going to go in one of her rambles and I had to stop it right away. It would definitely overwhelm Bo if she went in one of those long ones.

"I'm just so excited! I would've never guessed you'd be here!" she mentioned with awe as to my horror she just lunged in and hugged Bo.

"Fleu-" I tried to warm but I was surprised by Bo's hands wrapping themselves firmly around Fleur as she hugged her tightly.

It was then that I realized that this was perhaps the first time Bo had consciously embraced her daughter. I closed my eyes as emotion ran over me, I could now revel in the happiness of the moment versus the jealousy I had once felt. This was what Fleur had wanted and if this was what kept Bo grounded, what I wanted to. I watched as they parted, Fleur's friends hollering at her to get back to the game. I let out a sigh as she skated away with a smile on her lips.

"Are you ok?" I ventured asking as she nodded.

"I… she's gorgeous." She stumbled on her words, probably taken aback by the moment as well. "I'm just glad she's not mad."

"I know, she was for a while but never at you. The beauty… well that's all on you though. I had nothing to do with that." I admitted jokingly and when her brightest smile made an appearance I felt my heart flutter.

We stayed there by the bench watching Fleur play around. It was as if we were in this small bubble of happiness that I didn't want to end. I wanted Bo to not be afraid and embrace what she was feeling for Fleur. It was plain to see she cared about her and the way they had embraced each other let me know that she was indeed ready to see Fleur after all this time.

"She's yours too you know?" I broke the silence as she shook her head but I continued.

"I was naïve enough to think she was replacing me. It's why I was so angry, showed up like a livid bull at your doorstep. Caused you unimaginable pain…" I cringed knowing I had, I fought the image of Bo that was seared in my mind and convinced myself to look at the beautiful healthy woman in front of me.

"I'm healing" she assured her as I ventured a look.

"I'm happy that you're healing it makes me ecstatic. Partially, because of what I just said. I don't expect you to want to be her mother, that is something that for your own reasons you decided wasn't for you…" I needed her to know neither of us held her past against her, but then I saw it and my heart froze in fear.

I saw her cringe and I held back from reaching over for her. I couldn't make the same mistake twice but the anguish in her features was eating at me. She drew her hand to her forehead and I tried to get her attention terrified every second of the episode.

"Bo, breathe please." I begged as I saw her throw herself on the bench and I kneeled in front of her.

Her eyes were clouded over and unfocused, she wasn't here with me, in this realm of reality. I gripped the sides of the bench circling her in trying to get her eyes to focus on me. I didn't dare to touch her. I also didn't want an audience, Fleur and the kids had vacated the ice and the stands were too full to care. I was glad for the semi-private space we had here.

"Bo, please look at me… BO!" Her eyes met mine with a start and I realized she was out of it some.

Her eyes darted around as she took in her surroundings once more. She was breathing raggedly and her hands shook as she gripped the small clutch she had been carrying around. I felt incredibly guilty and dumb, I had rambled my way into a situation that affected Bo badly. I was upset at myself and wanted to make it right.

"Bo, I'm sorry, I should've thought before I spoke-"Lauren started but she raised a finger to make me stop before opening a ziplock bag and chewing on a small cupcake.

I was confused. She needed a snack? I was baffled as a Doctor and as her friend. I mean whatever works, right? I watched as started swinging my legs like a small child. I eyed her carefully putting two and two together. Her eyes had turned small all of the sudden and when she took a huge dreamy sigh and met my eyes once more I couldn't believe it.

I was so upset and angry that she had done this to us. My hopes had been very high and I was so excited to finally get rewarded for trusting someone. All that came crashing down as a slow smile crossed her lips. She was fucking stoned!

"I can't fucking believe you!" I hissed and I shook her head.

"Shhhh, it's ok, look." She fucking giggled while handing me some shitty paper with scribble on it. "My Doc knew you'd flip out. You're all the same, remember?"

 _ **Dr. Lewis,**_

 _ **I am Ysabeau's acting psychologist and counselor Dr. Evony Marquise. You can check my credentials if necessary and my phone number is 514-345-6798. If you're reading this it means Bo had a severe enough interaction that caused her to fall into an un-well mental state that does not allow her to cope accordingly. I have prescribed these cupcakes for such cases, I have fully monitored the case and deemed them safe. If you really need it you can also see her medical card which she should be carrying. I look forward to meeting you, Bo talks about you.**_

 _ **Dr. Marquise.**_

I felt the guilt engulf me like a force as I took a seat beside Bo with a big sigh.

"Bo I'm so sorry" I whispered pained I had reverted to old habits and jumped to conclusions with her.

"It's ok, relax." She said in a completely calm way. "I would've thought the same."

I didn't want to think I was brooding but I fell into this endless cycle of guilt after realizing what I had done to Bo. Not only had I triggered a severe event in her but I also judged her immensely. I wanted to cry. I leaned my head back to prevent the tears and let out a heavy sigh. Maybe it was best if I didn't have any contact with the beautiful woman.

Before I could tell what was going on I felt Bo's hands on my shoulders. I tensed at how good it felt, but also because Bo was touching me. She was physically touching me and I couldn't quite believe it. I could feel her fingers dig into my tensed muscles and I held back the urge to moan at how good it felt. Bo touching me was doing all kinds of things that I knew weren't healthy for her or I. I needed to stay focused on Fleur's recovery, on finding a cure, a serum anything. Bo needed to focus on her recovery and being well.

Those thoughts fell out the window as her fingers moved to my neck and she kneaded deliciously. My head fell back completely savouring the moment and I couldn't help but close my eyes as the warmth of Bo's touch engulfed me. I couldn't think straight but I had to stop her, this was just making me **want** her and I couldn't have that.

"Bo please, what are you doing?" I mustered out.

"You need to relax Lauren, really. Chill." She sounded so calm.

"Come on Lauren, eat a brownie, medicate yourself for a night and just relax." She tried to convince me.

"They're cupcakes Bo and I" She touched me in a certain way that my whole brain shut off for a second and only her and touch existed. "I can't I have to drive."

She didn't seem discouraged and she continued massaging me as I felt myself almost coming undone at the very moment. I heard a deep laughter that I could recognize anywhere and I shot up straight losing the moment Bo and I had shared. I glared at Dyson and Bo left her spot behind me to sit beside me rummaging with her clutch. She pulled out another cupcake and danced it in front of me.

"You should listen to this one more often, eat the damn cupcake, I will drive." Dyson insisted and I couldn't believe my ears.

"Dyson you're a cop! You can't be condoning this!" I reminded him.

"I have NO idea what's in the cupcakes and… Bo was it?" he played dumb and she nodded. He knew exactly who this was. "Bo is right, you need to relax. Tamsin had ten bottles of booze by the time she hits the sack, you? Zippo, nada, nothing! Not even jeopardy."

"Oooo Doctor!" Bo playfully teased and I couldn't help giving her a fake hurt look.

" .CUPCAKE" Dyson empathised Bo gave him props. _Great, they liked each other._

I took the damn ziplock from Bo's hands and proceeded to take the cupcake and take the paper off as I thought of all the pros and cons of this scenario. I should definitely not be getting high, but with the shit storm my life had become I couldn't see why it would hurt. It would just be a couple of hours and I'd enjoy Bo's company without overthinking anything else as we hung out with **our** daughter.

"If anything happens to Fleur…" I warned Dyson as he laughed.

"On my honour! You can kick back Lau, please trust me." He smiled and I scoffed as I took a big bit of the cupcake.

After several chews I decided to gross Bo out and showed her the contents of my mouth. Her laughter was so loud that people turned to look at us. I watched her with mirth as she looked completely at ease.

We sat there for a bit just waiting I guess and when I least expected it I felt my body tingle and completely utterly relax. I let out an uncharacteristic giggle and remarked.

"Oh boy." I giggled harder and Bo looked at me with an amused smile as Dyson let out a boisterous laugh that got everyone's attention.

"Let's get out of here before we get lynched by the power moms." He joked and it only made us laugh even harder getting more looks.

Getting out of the arena was a whole other beast all together. I had only been stoned in college and after Fleur came into my life everything besides school took a back seat. I was trying to walk in a straight line and play it cool like my daughter would say, but to no avail. I felt like I was in the clouds and therefore my coordination was utter shit. Dyson had to come over and drape an arm around me to steady me.

It was then that I noticed Dyson had a small bald spot on his scruffy beard. The thing was his pride and joy since early college and I knew for a fact that he boasted about it in the PD. I giggled and decided to whisper the bad news to him as we headed outside.

"Your beard is missing a piece!" I exclaimed goofily and he frowned.

"No it's not." He whispered back as I giggled at his horror.

Bo shot us a curious look and I winked at her continuing Dyson's torment.

"It is too, got in the car and look at it." I said as he led us to the truck in silence, no doubt pondering on the scruffy thing.

One we got to the truck Dyson just waved at it making sure Bo felt comfortable with what the plan was. Bo threw him an amused smile as he petted the truck and I just yanked the door a little too hard and fell on my ass on the ground. We all laughed, but Bo and I laughed the hardest. After the mishap he made sure Bo and I were settled in the back seat before heading out to go get Fleur. We had a bickered over the radio a bit and before leaving he left it on the horrible classic rock station he liked before giving me a small glare and heading off.

Now Bo and I were in stitches laughing at the stupid commercial that was on the damn station. The acting on it was horrible and as the sound of Bo's laughter washed over me I relaxed in my seat leaning my head back and looking up the sun roof Dyson had opened for us. I felt so light and carefree I felt as if I would float away. As if my mouth had a mind of its own I voiced my desires.

"I wish I could float." The way Bo laughed made me think I wasn't making any sense and her answer proved me right.

"I think you mean fly." I shook my head vehemently to her answer and corrected her.

"No. I mean float. Like in the ocean but instead of that in the sky"

"You are SO high." She confirmed as I gave her a rueful smile and she threw her head back in laughter.

It was then that I saw Fleur coming back with Dyson. I giggled and shushed the beautiful brunette as another fit of laughter hit us in full force. She kept shushing me back and in the middle of it she started shoving me gently with her shoulder. It should've been no big deal, body language is a big part of how people communicate, but with Bo's circumstances I felt quite special that Bo was feeling more comfortable with touching me. It wasn't helping that I felt free of all inhibitions and the way Bo's face lit up every time she caught my eyes was making me want to kiss her badly.

As Dyson and Fleur approached she gave me an overly exaggerated shush and squirmed in her seat to be silent and still. I was still feeling the magnetism between us in full force and concentrated on a song to make sure I didn't give way to my desires. As soon as Fleur and Dyson were back in the car I couldn't help myself and followed the sing along in my head with my actual voice.

"… and a quack quack here and a quack quack there… ei…ei…o" I proudly sang as Bo busted out in laugher so bad she was rolling around in the seat.

"Holly kryptonite!" Fleur exclaimed and I knew we were in for a freak-out if she had used that opening statement. "You guys are high!"

"Fleur!" Dyson warned but she shook her head.

"I'm not a baby." She pouted and I chuckled at how ironic her declaration was "There were these two girls in band the other day giggling JUST like that. They got suspended for smoking the reefer."

"They're totally high back there." She mentioned with a smile to Dyson as he chuckled.

"They're… medicated." Dyson suggested as Fleur narrowed her eyes at me.

I wanted to think that she was looking at me with humour, maybe even triumph but I couldn't really tell. As looked at me through the rear view mirror I smiled goofily at him and he returned it beaming at me. Bo didn't miss a beat and energetically leaned over the space with a paper towards Fleur who gave the older woman her undivided attention.

"Look, I have a prescription!" she announced as I rolled my eyes and Fleur laughed loudly.

"Bo come on, she doesn't care about Doctory stuff, I bore her enough with that stuff." I confessed and patted the empty spot beside me for her to join me again.

I could see Dyson wanted to pull away and get us going but he was a cop after all. He wanted us to strap in. I watched as Bo fixed herself and sat beside me grinning and bouncing slightly in her seat. Her energy was high and excited and I couldn't help but feed off it.

"I'm starving!" Bo voiced and I laughed finding it refreshing.

"Yup, me too." I added throwing my head back feeling myself completely and utterly relaxed and content.

"There is no way we can take them to a restaurant." Dyson announced as Bo protested.

"You don't say?" Fleur commented and I gasped playfully hurt the smile she threw me stopped my heart and filled me with joy. She was happy that I was high for some strange unfathomable reason.

"Alright what do you guys want?" Dyson asked looking as us through the mirror as Fleur fastened her seatbelt.

Bo nudged me with her shoulder to my ongoing surprise. She kept making small contact like this sending waves of tingles down my body complementing the buzz I was feeling. I felt the heat raise to my cheeks and she giggled when I shoved her back a bit. I was clearly having problems with my coordination and the seatbelt was proving to be a pain. I was about to ask Fleur to help me out when Bo unbuckled herself and leaned over me to grab the belt. I felt my throat run dry and my heart hammer fast at how close she was. I could smell the earthy scent her body had, like someone who was sunkissed from spending time outdoors. I watched as she bit her bottom lip before sitting back and buckling again.

"Man's asking you what's for dinner." I asked as my smile spread across my lips slowly.

"Pi-za, pi-za, pi-za" to my surprise she chanted as Fleur joined in and before I knew it so did I.

"Alright alright pizza it is" Dyson surrendered as we ended up all high fiving like dorks.

"Get the pizza!" Bo hollered and Fleur and I laughed wholeheartedly.

I was nervously excited that Bo was going to see our house. I wasn't too prepared for visitors to be honest, I had thought that if Bo indeed said yes she'd be coming later on. Fleur keep raving about some athlete that Bo wanted to interview as I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt biting my lower lip expectantly. Dyson wrapped his arm around me to hold me back as the two walked ahead down the driveway.

"I'm VERY glad you decided to give this a shot." He mentioned softly. "Seeing Fleur THIS happy… seeing you kick back again."

"I can't believe I'm stoned like in college." I admitted looking up at him with a goofy smile.

"I know, you still get the mad munchies! I haven't seen you stoned since before we got Fleur."

"You make it sound like we got a puppy" I chuckled and he laughed earning us looks from the girls.

"Listen, right now, I want you to relax and unwind and enjoy being with your daughter. Be there for her and Bo, it looks like she needs the help." He mentioned gently as we looked on. "whatever happens I've got your back."

I smiled and with that we went inside. I caught Bo looking around the house, I scurried around grabbing Fleur's magazines and sweaters from the floor. I heard Bo let out a small chuckle and as I looked up she closed the distance between us and made me drop everything on the floor.

"It's nice, I like it." She gave me a warm smile as she walked by me.

Fleur came back pulling her deeper into the house. She insisted we watch a movie they had seen at school. Bo had said yes immediately but I felt like that was more to please the girl than to voice he opinion. I smiled and followed them as Dyson left to go get the pizza's and pick up Tamsin from the lab. I had insisted she came and had dinner with us and took the rest of the night off. We had Bo here and we'd have some answers soon.

As I walked into the living room I saw Bo and Fleur building a fort with pillows and blankets. I decided to get in the action and moved the coffee table and the couch to give us more space in the plush carpet. I had thankfully steered us towards a wolf documentary when Dyson and Tamsin came in with the food. Dyson dropped copious amounts of candy at our lap and Fleur squealed beside me.

She had made herself at home between Bo and I as she leaned against Bo slightly. The older woman looked completely at ease and relaxed and I wondered if she had eaten another cupcake. Regardless, I was really happy seeing this side of Bo. I had realized earlier that I didn't know much about the woman but if we were going to be in Fleur's life then I wanted to get to know her for sure.

As if a spike in the buzz I was feeling increased, suddenly everything the documentary was hilarious. We ate slowly as Bo and I struggled not to choke from how much we were laughing at the TV.

"Are you guys fucking high?" Tamsin asked and I frowned.

"oooo… are you lame?" I laughed at Bo's rebuttal and Fleur joined in before admonishing.

"Language auntie Tam Tam."

"Shut it brat." Tamsin responded with the usual.

"They're medicated, just like you medicate with Jose and Jack" Dyson shot back and I laughed.

After the documentary was done Tamsin and Dyson left. Tamsin would start the lab shift in the morning so I could arrive around lunch. I couldn't neglect the research I had to do, Fleur was counting on me. Unbeknownst to Bo so was she. Fleur had gone to take a shower and Bo and I were relaxing on the floor. I was staring at the ceiling knowing I had to ask Bo what she wanted to do soon. Part of me wanted her to stay, but part of me was apprehensive about things still. Dyson's words resonated in my ears and I knew that he would have our backs always.

"I'm scared." I turned to look at Bo when she whispered the words, a small frown on her face.

"Don't be, I'm right here." I offered and before I could help myself I held her hand squeezing her. I realized my mistake with a start and let her hand go abruptly. "I'm sorry."

"I liked that." She whispered.

I liked the fact she was starting to feel at ease with me. Bo with Fleur was almost natural and I could easily see that was not a problem for her. I wanted to ease her worries so I got her back on track.

"Why are you scared?"

"I got a job offer here in Toronto… but it's such a huge city, it's full of so many things… so much temptation…"

I smiled thinking of her spending more time with Fleur. I wanted to ease her worries. I didn't know much about this woman but she had given me the greatest gift in life. She made me a mother.

"You're not alone Bo. Fleur has your back and so do I. You can do this"

Fleur came out and interrupted the moment. Bo had retreated onto herself but slowly a smile spread across her lips. I found that mine mirrored her own and realized this cupcake kept on giving.

"You guys pick the next movie I'm going to take a shower, I feel the second wave of that cupcake coming." I giggled as Fleur cozied up to Bo.

"Oh you're gonna know what relaxed means now." Bo warned as I smiled at her as I walked away.

As I showered I felt my heart at peace. I hadn't felt this relaxed and secure in a very long time. More than the treat Bo had given me it was more of Bo herself who had calmed the raging storm in my mind and heart.

Ever since Fleur had gone to seek Bo my life had gotten flipped upside down. I had been angry at myself for not seeing the signs of Fleur orchestrating such a thing. Then I had been angry at Bo for not opening up to me when I wanted her to, that gave way to thinking of Bo and that kiss. I knew Bo wasn't stable by any means but when I got the call that she was missing I remember the despair I felt knowing deep down she wasn't alright. In between all this my daughter was sick all of the sudden and I had no answers. Bo coming back into our lives so healthy was in itself a testament of strength. I would honor that by finding a cure and giving Bo and Fleur as much time as they could have together.

I returned to the small nest we had built in the living room after getting dressed. Bo was sitting beside me while Fleur lounged on her lap. I was about to ask Bo something when she excitedly informed me we had picked her favourite film. I smiled and decided to postpone my questions 'til after the movie because for now things were perfect. So perfect that somewhere in there I fell asleep cuddled up to Bo's shoulder.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you guys for the reviews! Just to say, I wasn't entirely sure how deep or if I wanted to delve into Fleur's illness rather than the reaction and effort it brings out on those around her. I'm still deciding and that's why the illness details seem rather vague here and there. After all I'm nothing but a simple chef IRL lol. Hope you guys enjoy!**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 07:**

I woke with a start as my phone rung incessantly pulling me out of my deep sleep. I realized with surprise we had all ended up in the floor and that Bo and I were a tangled mess of limbs while Fleur had kicked her way to the edge of the living room sprawled in the cold tile. I couldn't believe the kid sometimes.

I gently tried to peel myself away from Bo as carefully as I could. I stopped dead in my tracks to watch her peaceful face, her mouth was slightly open as her hair was wild around her face, yet there was a small smile on her lips as her chest moved up and down gently. I resisted the urge to brush her hair out of her face, as I did with Fleur many times before. I couldn't help staring at the woman and realizing that she was more gorgeous than I could ever possibly imagine. She was the kind of beautiful you couldn't help but look at. I snapped out of it hearing the ringtone go off again and knew I needed to reach the phone which kept insisting.

As I moved slightly I felt Bo rustle and her beautiful eyes fluttered open sleepily. I stayed frozen on my spot not daring to move. I was unsure if she was even fully awake. I felt her squeeze me and bury herself deeper into my side with a sigh as her eyes fluttered closed once more. I could feel myself melt into a puddle at the gesture but I really needed that phone. In a second Bo was awake with a jolt. As if burned she had pulled away from me and tensed up next to me. It seems she had realized what she was doing. I could laugh at her comical expression if it wasn't for the sorrow I saw in her eyes.

"Sorry." She muttered and I shook my head with a smile.

"Nothing to be sorry about." I chuckled and she glanced at me curiously as I stretched "That was the best sleep I've gotten in a long time… the ONLY sleep I've gotten in a very very long time."

"Lau-"she started but I stopped her as I pointed to Fleur's sleeping body.

As soon as her eyes fell onto the mess that was Fleur her laughter came in waves as it washed away all the tension in the room. Fleur's head shot up as she mumbled before narrowing her eyes on Bo who was laughing harder. I took the change to get up and walk towards the phone as Fleur groaned and crossed the distance between her an Bo plopping down beside her, no doubt ready to sleep for longer. I grabbed my phone and frowned at the unknown number. I decided to answer regardless but it worried me a tad.

"Finally!" I heard Kenzie's voice come through as she yelled away from the phone "Ryan I got her!"

Before I could say anything Ryan's panicked voice was on the receiver.

"Fuck Doc, I thought this was the time… I…" his voice shook and I worried "I can't find Bo. Hotel told me she hadn't come in last night… I can't believe this is happening again…"

I let out a huge sigh of relief knowing THIS I could solve and rather quickly. I took a glance at the brunette on the floor tickling my child when my smile widened and I spoke up.

"Bo!" her head snapped at me with a curious look. I could hear Ryan on the receiver confused. "Where's your phone? Why aren't you answering?"

"I…" her brow furrowed as she patted her jeans and gave me the most comical shrug.

"I bet it's in the car, it happens to Fleur all the time." I offered and Fleur gave her a sheepish smile.

"Ryan, calm down. Bo's here she's safe. Do you want to speak to her?" I asked trying to calm him.

"She's there?" he asked quizzically and I couldn't understand why he was still upset. "Doctor, be careful."

"I am." I affirmed now understanding his apprehension. "you have nothing to worry about she's spending time with Fleur. I have a cure to find."

"I'm most grateful that you are giving her time with Fleur. So is Kenz… we think this will help her a lot. She's a great girl, she's just lost."

"I can see that Ryan. I only want what's best for Fleur and Bo, and right now, having each other is very important to them both. I want to get to know all of you better, you took care of my daughter when she was lost." I admitted, I wanted to put him and Kenzie at ease after the wrong I had done before.

"I'll hold you to this Hotpants." Kenzie piped and I laughed.

Bo looked at me curiously and after giving a soft kick in the bum to Fleur she rose, stretched like a fluid feline and then walked towards me. I smiled at her as I fought the heat from rising to my cheeks. Morning Bo was definitely something I had to be careful with, I could feel my libido rise with every step she took towards me. I kicked myself mentally trying to keep my composure as Bo leaned in and took the phone from me.

"What do you want losers? I know Kenzie's next to you and I'm on speaker, I live with you both." She shot playfully and I looked at the clock.

I realized I needed to start getting ready for my day if I was going to get something done with the genetic material I had collected now. I had thought up of a way to speed up the recognition pattern of Bo's DNA. Tamsin had given me the final clue yesterday as we watched the documentary. I had been so high my mind had been going into overdrive at times but I couldn't follow anything concretely. It wasn't until this morning that I had, finally sober, pieced things together. I was ready to try all of this in the lab and get Fleur back to being a normal kid.

I left Bo with my phone and walked over to my room. I threw open the closet and started getting ready. I pulled out a pair of jeans and plain white deep v neck before throwing my leather jacket on. I did my hair quickly and for the first time in a long time I caught myself wanting to look good, even if I was going to the lab to look through microscopes with Tamsin.

When I came out of the room ready Fleur was sitting on the couch fully dressed in a pair of black leggings a cute purple skirt and a white long sleeve. She was fighting with her toque and I giggled. She had folded the blankets and pillows and the living room was back to normal.

"I guess I took longer than I thought if you're already dressed. Where's Bo?" I wondered.

"She's in the bathroom I gave her some supplies and I think she's taking a shower. She did like a billion push ups and sit ups before we came out." Fleur explained curiously and I chuckled.

"I can see that she's caught your attention with that. I can also see you have a plan formed in your head. Spill." I ushered and she gave me a guilty smile.

"Bo's covering a Jays game and I'd like to go with her. Pleeeease Momma, press box!" she begged and I laughed.

"What about Bo? Is she ok with that?" I pondered and Fleur nodded eagerly.

"Yeah as long as it's alright with you." She smiled and I sighed.

"Well I was going to teach you about Isotopes and Protons and Tamsin had this whole periodic table rap she had planned for you." I teased and she groaned as I laughed wholeheartedly.

"Come on, have something to eat and we'll talk to Bo see what her plan is." I assured and Fleur smiled following me in the kitchen.

Fleur plopped down on the counter as she reached for an apple and started munching away. I busied myself making some coffee and decided to make more than needed in case Bo wanted some. I had tried to stop my mind from going to waking up to Bo but it was futile and I could feel my heart hammer.

"I really like Bo Momma." Fleur admitted and I nodded before looking at my girl fondly.

"I do too missy, thank you for convincing me to give her a chance." I admitted and she smiled.

"She asked me how sick am I…" she seemed apprehensive and I shut my eyes anxiously knowing this would get more difficult to ignore as time went by.

"What did you tell her?" I asked curiously.

"That she should talk to you. I mean… I know there must be some kind of reason why you haven't told her." She answered and I felt so proud at her maturity.

"Thank you Fleur, I'm sorry we have to hide things from her now. I have a good feeling about some tests I'll be running today so it might not even be for long" I assured as she cheered up.

"You promise?" she questioned as I nodded.

"I want to tell her the truth as much as you do babycakes." I added and she rolled her eyes at her nickname.

Before we could continue I noticed that Bo had walked out of the bathroom. She looked amazing with her slightly damp hair and beautiful face. I saw as her expression brightened as she looked at Fleur and my heart soared. I asked her about her coffee so I wouldn't stand there and oogle at her like a creep.

"How do you take your coffee Bo?" I asked as she smiled at me

"Two creams, Two sugars." She admitted sheepishly and I smiled wider.

"Your standard Double Double, you're cute."

I tried to keep myself from noticing Bo's wondering eyes but the heat that I felt go through me told me otherwise. I liked spending time with the woman and Fleur but I couldn't wait to get to the lab. There I'd be within data and numbers and microscopes and I won't have to overanalyze the fact that Bo Denis made my heart stop every time she walked into a room.

"So Fleur said she wanted to go somewhere with you." I spoke up trying to avert my mind.

"I have to cover today's Jays game and I was hoping she could tag along. I'll keep her safe, I promise." She mentioned with a cute expression.

"What happens if you have to have a cupcake?" I asked with an arched eyebrow.

I wanted to make sure that Bo was aware that Fleur required supervision, albeit limited, she still needed a sober adult around at all times. I could see Bo ponder on it before shrugging slightly.

"I can't guarantee I won't, it's my medicine, but I can promise I won't drive or give her any." She mentioned and I nodded satisfied.

"That's good enough for me. I know you'll do your hardest to not need a cupcake, right?" I didn't want her to **not** medicate in a situation she needed it, but I didn't want her to depend or over-indulge on it either. She nodded affirming she understood.

"Fleur can I talk to Bo alone for a few minutes? Why don't you go find my Jays hat in my closet and you can wear it." I asked Fleur sweetly as she smiled brightly. I knew she loved that hat and longed to wear it even though she had her own.

I watched as Fleur disappeared into my room and my eyes traveled to where Bo was nervously sitting. She looked like a pup who had been kicked way too many times, and even though it had a new family now it still cowered in fear. I wanted to take that fear away but at the same time I wanted, in time, to know why it was there. I decided to start the conversation by praising her and opening up about how I felt about all this. I wanted her to feel welcomed into Fleur's life and therefore mine.

"I think it's great that you want to take Fleur out. I honestly feel guilty with all the work I've put in, I haven't had time to spend with her." I admitted to my own faults.

"But?" she pushed and I shook my head at her expectations.

"No. No buts. I think it's great." I added with a nod as her face showed her confusion.

"Then why talk to me privately?" she pondered.

"Oh, yes! I have a few things I need you to take with you for Fleur's well-being." I carefully added.

I didn't want to scare her with what I was about to mention, but if she was taking Fleur anywhere she needed to know.

"I thought you said it was pre-emptive." She pushed and I frowned.

"Well… it's just some precautions" I tried evasively.

"What do I need to know?" she settled on that and I was glad.

"So, I need you to call or text me if anything unusual happens to her. I'm talking collapses, projectile vomiting, levitation anything weird." I tried to joke and it worked as she chuckled.

"So like a seizure or something?"

My body tensed at how accurate her guess had been and my heart hammered in my chest in fear as my palms sweated. I didn't know how to address this, if straightforward or just dismissively. I decided to dance around the truth, in the end I would have my tests today and no matter the outcome I'd tell Bo tomorrow. She deserved a day of happiness with Fleur and by both of their excitements I could tell this could strengthen their bond. Fleur had just taken her serum yesterday morning so I knew we had 5 day window seizure free so I started from there.

"Well… there's a small chance of seizures with the medicine she's taking. Her most recent dose was yesterday so she should be seizure free, so don't worry too much about side-effects." She nodded and I sighed in relief. She was taking this well.

"If anything weird happens I'll call and/or text." She assured and I nodded.

"She had a bank card in case she needs anything and I can drop you guys off wherever you need to be before I head to the lab." I offered not wanting her to worry about petty things like money or transportation.

"You… you really trust me with Fleur?" she asked uncertain and that kicked puppy came over her again.

"Of course!" I exclaimed and tried to drive the point home. "Bo, I asked something of you and you did it."

"Pardon?" she seemed confused but looked so utterly adorable.

"We haven't talked about this but we should. You called me wanting to be in your daughter's life. I could've agreed and see that it would be good for your recovery and I wanted to give you the chance but you lied to me Bo." I started before she interjected.

"I take full responsibility of my actions, it was right for you to not trust me. We barely know each other and I had just relapsed. You **saw** me for-crying-out-loud. You made the right decision at the time." She sounded so sincere and I nodded.

"You did too."

"What?" she was confused again.

"I asked you to be sober for six months and here you are in the flesh." The pride I felt for her accomplishment was flooding over me and pouring into my words.

I could admit I didn't know this woman well, but nobody deserved to be in the throes of addiction. I wanted the best for Bo and I would help her accomplish that however I could.

"It's been four months since that." She corrected and I nodded once more.

"Yet it had been four months of sobriety when you called me. You've been eight months sober to the day Bo." I countered with a smile.

"Why? Why are you so… so… _hopeful?_ " She asked and I could tell it was her habit of distrust coming up.

I didn't blame her, we barely knew each other and trust was a really big thing to be giving around. However I wanted to show her that I trusted her, and that I trusted her to get better. I wanted her to know that I was taking a chance on her before and it had paid off, that she had already proven to me she wanted to be in Fleur's life and make it work.

"I love my daughter very much." I starts and hesitated saying the rest but knew it had to be "I also had a lot of time to think of what you said. Somewhere while she was still a part of you, when she was in your stomach you loved my daughter **very** much. You loved her to the point of giving her away to give her the best chance she could get."

I saw as her eyes watered with realization of the truth in my words. She leaned her head down as she softly cried over the love she probably once felt for her child. It might have been a shadow before, but not it was a small flame getting bigger with each interaction she had with my girl. **Our** girl.

"I believe you can get better because of that love you still have for Fleur." I whispered as I leaned down and captured her eyes. She chuckled searching my eyes incredulously as I pressed wanting-no- **needing** her to know.

"I love you Bo. I don't know much about you but I love you because you gave me the gift of being a mother and I will never ever forget that. That's why I want you to be happy and healthy." As the words left me she cried a bit more as I longed to hold her.

"Bo?" I asked a bit worried about her silence as she looked up undecided.

"I'd like for you to hold me and hug me if that's ok" she asked and my smile grew at the trust she was now giving me.

"Absolutely" I breathed as I wrapped my arms around her.

She felt so amazing in my arms. Warm and soft yet strong and powerful. She was a contradiction, an enigma that I wanted to decipher, the scientist in my mind rejoicing at the challenge. I breathed her in and felt the calming effect of her scent as she clung to me gently. I heard a soft clearing of the throat and knew Fleur had walked into this. She gave me a curious look as she pointed at the hat.

"It was REALLY buried in your closet mom." Before I could answer her she turned and looked at Bo as a frown crossed her small features. "Are you ok Bo?"

"I'm just really really happy right now and I don't know what to do about it." She admitted and I felt like my heart would explode from the happiness I felt upon hearing these words.

"Well that's THE BEST reason to be teary then! Here I thought mom had been a bully again." Fleur admonished me as I made a face at her.

"Hey, I already apologized over being a bitch before." I defended and Bo laughed.

"And the apology was accepted." She admitted and I was surprised since I never knew that. "I really don't mean to be a party-pooper but I need to get to my hotel very soon."

"Are you guys all set then?" I asked and they both agreed. "Let's get going then!"

The whole drive to the hotel was filled with Bo and Fleur talking stats and sports. It wasn't totally flying over my head but I was occupied thinking of formulas and combinations of my own to distract me from what had happened in the kitchen. Even though I had seen a great improving with Bo I had to be careful to take things easy and not overwhelm her. I was now convinced I felt at the very least a strong attraction towards the brunette. The embrace that we had shared had risen all kinds of longing towards the woman, yet I knew I couldn't do anything of that sort. Sex addiction was very had to recover from, especially since us humans crave inter-species contact as comfort. I wouldn't live with myself if I selfishly set her recovery back because of my own impulses.

As I looked over towards the passenger seat Bo gave me a look under heavy lashed that made my heart skip. Her small smirk was beautiful and I noticed a small beauty mark near her lips. I tried to control my feelings and rile in my attraction. I had dated women before and after Fleur, I had gone on dates and sometimes even taken care of my needs. However, I was never satisfied or amused by any partner for very long and none of them had ever been as beautiful as the woman beside me. Bo was one of those stunning beauties you stumble upon once every blue moon. I convinced myself that longing from afar wouldn't hurt anybody and let out a small content sigh as we neared Bo's hotel.

As I parked near the curb Fleur had jumped out of the car as I reminded her to behave. Bo chuckled and got out closing the door and leaning over it as Fleur went to look at some magazines. I watched as Bo glanced her every once in a while carefully and I knew my daughter was in good hands.

"Have fun Bo, really, just enjoy it." I recommended and she seemed to think it over before nodding.

"I think I will." She admitted.

"If anything just call me. I can come pick you guys up after I'm done in the lab. I have a good feeling about today, maybe it was the sleep I got." I joked with a wink as she smiled brightly.

"Be safe." She meant it and I relished it before calling a goodbye as she pulled away from the car.

As I pulled away from the curb and looked on my rear view mirror I saw Bo standing there with Fleur's hand nestled in hers. She gave her a big smile which Fleur returned and they went inside. I smiled knowing Fleur would have an amazing time. We were both avid baseball fans. That sport I could totally follow and understand and the home team was my favourite so Fleur got that love from me. We had gone to games when she was a little girl. I made it a point to take her to activities like the ballpark, the zoo, museums and parks at least twice a week when she was younger. I wanted to create memories with her she would cherish and remember her whole life in spite of my doctorate.

I smiled realizing that now she had Bo to make memories with. I didn't feel replaced as much as I felt helped. I had been struggling to keep Fleur's life in normalcy while working in the ER, it also got much worse as she got sick. On the days after the first serum had been created and she had been awakened from her coma she was so full of energy it was encouraging. I was the complete opposite and still had a steep mountain to climb to find her a cure. I had to admit I had been neglecting her social life for her well-being but I didn't know what else to do.

As I pulled into the parking lot I decided to ask Bo tonight how she really felt about her job offer and what she wanted to do about it. I learned today she was a sports analyst and media reporter, which made so much sense to me now. I had also learned that my daughter had apparently inherited her hockey team from Bo as well and I got a good laugh about that. I wanted to assure that even if she took the job and wasn't in Ottawa she would have our support. We would find her the very best therapist and we would make it work.

I walked into the lab with a strut to my step and a smile on my face. I rapidly put my lab coat on and smiled at Tamsin who was hard at work. She raised an eyebrow at me as I sterilized my hands and she pulled away from what she was doing.

"What are you doing Lauren?" she asked with a disapproving tone and I gave her a 'wtf' look.

"Washing my hands?" I asked confused.

"No smartass. I see that shit eating grin on your face. You were with Bo all night weren't you?" my brow furrowed as I grew even more confused.

"Yeah, we all fell asleep watching movies. I just dropped her and Fleur at a baseball game." I admitted wondering where this was going.

"That's what I mean Lauren, why?" she asked as I got to work diligently still following the conversation.

"Because Fleur should spend more time with Bo." I admitted and she let out a snort.

"Bullshit. I saw how you were beyond high last night and the way you were looking at each other Lauren. You're playing with fire and Fleur's the one who will get hurt." She spat at me angrily and I looked up from my microscope with an incredulous look.

"No Tamsin, tell me how you **really** feel." I commented sarcastically. "I know what I'm doing, besides we had agreed on contacting Bo for the cure."

"Yet here you are having sleep overs and letting her take Fleur! Lauren Jeez! She's a fucking addict, you don't know what she could be doing with your daughter right about now. Or worse…" she trailed off as I glared at her hard.

"You have no right-"

"I don't!? I'm slaving away in this lab for that kid! I have helped you raise her, changed dirty diapers, stayed with her through fevers and colds and WITHDRAWL. What happens when Bo is sober and she makes you BOTH love her, count on her, depend on her and she just fucks off and relapses one day. THEN WHAT?" Tamsin countered and I got up closing the distance between my oldest friend and I.

"You listen to me and listen to me good Tamsin. I believe in Bo and so does Fleur. Yes she's made mistakes like we all have and yes she has a dark past that she can't run away from. Will she battle with this her whole life? Probably. The fact-of-the-matter is that she wants to get better and have a second chance with her daughter. I cannot stand in the way of that and I won't let you either." I said firmly as she stared into my eyes.

"You're like my sister Lauren, if she hurts any of you…" I could see her resolve break a little and I smiled.

Tamsin was like a Pitbull, she looked and acted vicious yet she cared so deeply and wanted nothing but to be loved and protect the ones she loved. I could tell she too liked Bo but it scared her, possibly for the reasons she just stated. The truth was none of us knew what Bo was fully capable of if she wasn't given a fair chance. I was willing to give her that and I wanted my friends, my family to do the same to her.

"I know Tams. She means well, she was just a little lost. You know we've all been there. The darkness is just too unbearable in some than others." I remarked and she nodded understanding where I was coming from.

"She did make you relax for fucking once!" she celebrated and with that our argument was over.

"I actually fucking slept last night. My mind feels like it's going a hundred miles a minute." I joked and she laughed.

"Let's get to it then. I want to leave early I have that dinner with Dyson and the peeps from the department." She lamented and I laughed at her apprehension.

She loved Dyson dearly but she hated having to be his eye candy for functions. I had to agree that most of Dyson's co-workers were pigs. I didn't envy her one bit. I also wanted to finish early and maybe take Bo and Fleur somewhere. I had promised taking Bo around, yet the science had called me away from that momentarily. I didn't want to start off in the wrong foot with Bo and cancel promises right away.

After I checked when the game was done and set an alarm for such time Tamsin and I got to working. Things had been making more and more sense since we had Bo's blood sample to compare things to. It seemed far-fetched but there was a slight possibility that Fleur had a genetic disorder dormant in Bo, but likely present in Fleur. It wasn't uncommon for things to skip generations like this so it was worth a look into. It would be even better to have a sample of Fleur's father as well but that was a door I wasn't ready to open, nor did I want to.

The great thing about this breakthrough was that if this was the culprit of Fleur's seizures then I'd be able to concoct a treatment within a week or so. Not a cure per-se but something to make her live a normal life. It was always very treacherous when it came to experimental stages of research like this. Side effects of treatments are not well known and most cases they presented well after the treatment has been administered. Then there was the legal process of human trials. The fact that Fleur was my daughter and that this lab had open patents made things leaps easier, yet there would be a few hurdles to jump through.

It seemed I was very caught up on the work because before I knew it Tamsin was tapping me on the shoulder. I turned adjusting my eyes to the light in the lab as she stretched her limbs.

"I gotta go, are you leaving now or staying a bit longer?" she asked gathering her stuff.

"I'm really close, I can feel it, so I'll stay a while longer. The game is still on so the girl's won't be done yet." I smiled thinking they must've been having fun.

"I want you to be careful Lauren, but that doesn't mean I don't see the change in you. I think Bo might be as good for you and Fleur as you guys are for her, if she can keep her sobriety. I really hope she can, I like seeing you happy like this, it has been a while." She mentioned and I shook my head.

"I can't act on this." I lamented and she gave me an understanding nod.

"Doesn't mean you can't enjoy it Lauren, enjoy having a crush and being excited and feeling good. It can't hurt." She advised and I gave her a fond smile "Alright that's my dose of sappiness I'm peacing out."

I watched her walk away but didn't dare think of what she had said as I got back to work. After a long while I had finally cracked a genetic code I needed. I was lightyears closer to where I needed to be now. My phone rung in my lab coat and I frowned noticing that my timer had gone off a while ago and I had lost track of time.

I noticed it was Bo and picked up fast.

"Hey." I answered gently as I heard her tell Fleur something about Ice Cream.

"Hey the game is over and we were thinking of going back to my hotel room and playing some videogames. You wanna drop by after the lab and hang out with us?" she asked hopeful and my heart swelled remembering Tamsin's words.

"Yeah I'd love that. I'll come right after I close up here, I'm about to be done soon Have you guys eaten?" I asked hoping she said no.

"Not yet, we had some snacks in the park. I was thinking to check the room service soon." She confessed.

"I can bring something, just leave it to me. Any food you're allergic or don't like?" I asked as she thought.

"I hate calamari and pretty much seafood in general makes me uneasy. Lasagna is a no-no but anything else is fair game." She admitted and I laughed.

"Fleur hates seafood too so I know where this comes from now." I said as she laughed.

"She had a great time and so did I, thank you." She admitted and I smiled.

"Thank YOU for taking her around with you. I'm sure I'll hear all about it soon." I joked as Bo sighed. "I have to go, but I'll see you ladies soon. Text me your room number soon."

"Okay. Be safe." She whispered and my heart fluttered.

"I will." I nodded and hung up.

I felt like floating after hanging up and decided that Tamsin was right. I could enjoy this feeling that Bo invoked on me even if I wasn't going to act on it.

I gathered all my papers and research. I packed a small bag with some papers I would finish at Bo's while they played videogames. Electronics like that weren't really my cup of tea but I really enjoyed watching Fleur enjoy them. I could spend hours listening to her laugh as I read in the same room she gamed.

I was trying to think of what to pick up for dinner on my way to the hotel. I was making a mental note of all the restaurants in between the lab and hotel trying to narrow my choices when my phone rung once more. I looked down noticing it was Bo again and I smiled feeling my stomach flutter. I was still waltzing from that last phone conversation we had, I was either imagining things or Bo felt at least attraction for me too. It was nothing I would act on even if it was mutual but it was nice to feel in such a long time. I picked up rapidly assuring her I was on my way.

"I'm about to walk out the office." I offered as she stammered and panic rose in my chest.

"Lauren come quick" she sounded afraid "Something's wrong with Fleur…"

"Oh God I'm on my way… Did she have a seizure? You need to put her on her side, maybe get a pillow below her, I'll be there soon." I rushed through the possibilities trying to keep calm.

"I… it stopped… I gave her a cupcake." She explained and I grew silent as I racked my brain for the logic.

I then realized various journals I had read up recommending it for seizures. I sighed trying to calm myself and steeling myself for the drive as I hopped in my car and turned it on.

"I'll be there soon Bo, just text me the room number. If she's stable don't call an ambulance I'll be there before it gets there." I explained.

"Ok." She whispered in a shaky voice. "Hurry, I'm scared."

"I know, it'll be alright, I'll be there soon honey." I assured and after a bit hung up.

I turned the key in the ignition and got ready to drive like a bat out of hell. I had to get to my daughter and make sure that she was alright. I couldn't leave Bo alone with this enormous weight on her shoulders. All I could hope for now was that she could forgive me for withholding information of Fleur's illness. I hoped that Bo could understand and have some mercy for me as I did for her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Things get really real interesting in this chapter. Enjoy!**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 08:**

Bo looked so drained when she opened the door that I felt like throwing my arms around her instantly. I of course held back as she let me in with a sigh. She pointed to the bathroom door with a frown and I walked briskly towards Fleur. Bo stood out of the door, undoubtedly shocked or pained from the experience. I kneeled in front of Fleur and gave her a smile as she slowly returned it. Her eyes were slightly dazed and I could only assume it was from the cupcake.

"Hey sweetie-pie, how you doing? Momma's here." I whispered soothingly and she slowly nodded.

"Let's try not to move too much just yet until I've checked you out ok?" she blinked once understanding and knowing the routine already she stayed still for me to examine her.

It broke my heart to see my child so ill and helpless. It was unnatural to see Fleur this still, this sad. I busied myself with my task so I didn't have to think of the heartbreak I felt.

I pulled out a small light and examined her eyes, nose and airway. Everything seemed perfectly normal and I let out a small sigh of relief. As always when she had a seizure, I wanted to immediately get her to the lab and do some scans to make sure her brain was good.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and noticed that Tamsin had joined us. She gave Fleur a smile who retuned it in the same manner she did to me and Tamsin looked worried.

"Lauren I don't like how slow her reaction time was, her pupils are dilated…" she noted and I nodded.

"Bo gave her some cupcake. It stopped the seizure." I commented and Tamsin hummed in surprise.

"Kudos, I wouldn't have thought of that." She nodded and I chuckled.

"I don't think I would've either to be honest. Let's get an IV on her to make sure she's got plenty of fluids on her before we transport her. I need to talk to Bo for a minute." I admitted and Tamsin nodded.

"I'm just going to speak to Bo for a second babes, she's worried about you ok?" I spoke to Fleur as she blinked once in agreement before I stood.

"Hey brat." Tamsin whispered gently as she kneeled next to Fleur where I had been with her medical bag.

When I came out I found Bo leaning against the bed deep in thought. I felt bad that this had happened, it wasn't supposed to happen like this in all honesty. I had made up my mind to tell her everything tonight, yet here was the truth slapping us in the face. I needed to explain my decision to lie to her and I was afraid I didn't know how she would react.

I caught her eye and she twisted her head to the side like a confused puppy and I couldn't help the bright smile that crossed my lips. She looked absolutely adorable and I didn't know how to handle that. I nodded towards the balcony thinking we could talk more privately there. She quickly followed and when we were finally outside I saw her take a deep breath. I stared at her for a moment wanting nothing more than to ease her worries, but I couldn't, I couldn't even ease my own worries.

"Thanks for calling right away. You giving her that cupcake actually alleviated her a lot, so good job." I started, wanting her to know how much of a difference that had done for Fleur.

"Is she going to be alright?" She asked in a small voice that broke my heart.

"Yes, your blood actually provided us with some answers today and I was in the process of making an antidote for her." I tried to answer as confident as I could.

I saw as her expression changed, like something registered in her head and I gave her time to gather her thoughts.

"An antidote implies she's currently sick… you told me all this was pre-emptive but now I'm not so sure." I nodded looking far away in the distance ashamed that she was confronting me with the truth.

"I know it sounds like a two-bit excuse but I was going to tell you today." I was embarrassed that I had kept things from her and looked down at my hands.

"Why?" her voice came through firm but gentle, as if she wanted to understand instead of berate me.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright before I could tell you anything. I got a bit scared with how your episode went at the rink, but the way you managed it and this morning had convinced me you were more than ready. I was going to tell you this morning but with the game and all I decided to wait and give you a day of carelessness. Little did I know this would happen." I lamented as I closed my eyes in regret.

"You swear you were going to tell me?" she pushed as I looked into her eyes seeing the doubt in them before I looked down. I had really fucked up.

"I somehow knew you would love Fleur as much as I do, and I… I wanted to tell you so many times. I might be selfish but I needed someone to be here with me who understood the way I feel about this child." I was crying now trying to explain.

Most people would not even care for Bo or what she thought. She had given Fleur up and that would be all in the story with other people, they would hold it against her even though she wanted to make amends. I didn't want to be like that. Bo was trying her damn hardest to love this child and do right by her, and I would support that.

"Like you can't live without her. I feel that way too… After I saw her on the floor… the seizure. Oh God…" she insisted and I cried more as I saw her break down.

"I know Bo… I still remember the day she had her first seizure and I found her on the kitchen floor… some nights I cannot do the dishes without breaking down and crying." I confessed as my hands shook with the memory.

I saw her shut down and go away in that world of memories, as she saw and relived Fleur's episode. I frowned as I wanted her to know that I was here for her, that I had gone through the same.

"I… May I touch you Bo? Comfort you?"

"I…"she hesitated and I figured I had perhaps been too forward.

"You can say no, I won't be upset." I offered an easy escape to the dilemma.

"No. I would like for you to hold me right now. I'd like that." She admitted and I nodded glad for the openness.

I wrapped my arms around her protectively as she melted into me. I had been bold to ask, but I wanted nothing but to give her some comfort. I was surprised as she granted me permission but relished it anyways. I would take any opportunity to hold this beautiful woman in my arms and get my heart racing.

"I needed to be held too." I confessed as I felt her arms wrap around me. "It never gets easier seeing her like this."

"I'm here now and together she'll get better." she assured me as I held in the gasp I almost let out.

It was mindboggling that she was comforting me. I didn't think she was ready, yet here she was giving me comfort instead of receiving it. She held me tightly as I held her and I felt our bodies comfort each other. The touch of Bo just seeping into my soul and mending all those broken parts that felt inadequate for not fixing Fleur as soon as I wanted to.

Before I could say anything to thank Bo for her comfort I saw Tamsin approach the glass door and knock on it. I focused on her as she signaled to me that she needed me. I pulled apart from BO reluctantly. It was with her that I felt that things weren't as bad and we could make sense in any situation. Yet here was Tamsin reminding me that I was not Superwoman and that I had not fixed my daughter yet. I gave Bo a longing look before I walked away and into the room ready for what Tamsin had to say.

"I tried to move her after administering the IV and her muscles started contracting in spite of the marijuana." She urged and showed me as Fleur was twitching violently.

I turned in my heels knowing she was about to launch into another episode soon. I rushed to my bag at the edge of the bed and found a clean syringe. I looked around in my bag and found a sedative I quickly tossed it aside for being an Opiate, Fleur's problems with addiction early in her life denied me this option. I quickly found the Versed sedative and readied the needed dose for her weight. I rushed back in the room once ready and bypassed it on her IV. It would kill me that we had to sedate her like this, but it was only to benefit her recovery.

Tamsin assured me she would take her downstairs as we put a small mobile ventilator on her to insure her breathing safely. With expert care and experience from the many times we had to do this before, Tamsin juggled everything by herself and fixed to walk out.

"You should talk to Bo. It was very hard on us seeing Fleur like this for the first time." She reminded and I nodded.

"I'll speak to her." I assured her.

"Maybe you should bring her home with you. The hotel is nice, but she must be worried over this kid. I think it'd do you some good too Lauren. You need some company." She admitted before walking out.

As she headed towards the door I picked up my things and finished my bag. When I noticed Bo looking at Tamsin desperately I beckoned her inside to explain. She needed to keep calm but I knew it was hard under the circumstances.

"It's alright Bo, Tamsin is just taking Fleur to the lab so we can work on her more efficiently." I explained gently.

I watched as her eyes brimmed with tears. And her bottom lip quivered. I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and comfort her, assure her I would get Fleur back to health. I was about to ask her if I could touch her when she interrupted my thoughts.

"Could I… could you…" Her words jumbled together and I nodded knowing all she was about to ask.

Her arms wrapped around me as quick as mine did and I pulled her close trying to protect her from the heartbreak that I felt. It was hard seeing your child so sick and when you're barely getting to know them, seemed quite unfair. I felt her bury her head in my chest and the tears moistened my shirt. I felt my own tears stain my cheeks as I stayed still wanting to be strong for Bo.

I felt privileged she had been resorting to me for comfort. Feelings or not aside, this woman was showing me an amount of trust that I did not take for granted. I was incredibly happy with her progress, but as always I treaded lightly just in case something backfired along the way.

"I know it's scary and that she looks bad when these episodes happen. It's difficult to keep a calm demeanor with this but I assure you Bo I'm going to cure our daughter." I promised as she looked up to me stunned.

"Our daughter." She repeated astounded.

"Yes Bo, as I said she's just as mine as she is yours." I smiled adoringly at the woman who had made me a mother.

"I don't want to be here by myself." She whispered after burying her face in my clothes again.

I pulled away and dried her tears giving her the gentlest smile. I could see that she was trying to reach out, but once again, like a kicked puppy she was afraid to get hurt in the process. I gave her a fond smile before I used my utmost sincere tone.

"I wanted to see if you'd like to stay with us for a bit. Maybe until Ryan and Kenzie come back and then you can decide what to do. I just thought you'd like to be as close to Fleur as possible."

"I do, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable." She admitted dejectedly and I knew I had to press.

"I wouldn't. It would be my pleasure to have you in our house. Last night your company put me at ease and helped me concentrate on answers today. I mean that." I confessed and she looked up at me in awe.

"I helped you?" She seemed incredulous to the thought.

"Yes silly. You're not the only one that needs comfort. Fleur now has two moms as far as I'm concerned and I believe we can benefit from one another." She tried to interrupt and I continued without missing a beat "I know you have your demons you're working through and I respect that, that doesn't mean you're useless."

She nodded.

"I stayed behind so we could grab your stuff if you decided to agree."

"I'd love to stay with you guys. Thank you for opening the doors of your home." She mumbled and I felt the relief was through me.

"We'll pack the essentials, clothes for today and maybe the laptop and the gaming console. The rest I'll have front desk deliver to my house." I would not have a problem arranging such a thing.

As she went into the bathroom I worried for her mental state a bit before taking her console apart and storing it in its case. The laptop was quickly stowed away and to occupy myself from checking in on her I called the front desk.

After that I sat on the bed texting back and forth with Tamsin to make sure she had made it to the clinic safe. She was currently running some lab tests and checking why our serum had failed the initial assessment. I knew that by now nurses would've joined her efforts and I just needed to worry about Bo for now. She told me to be safe and take my time since she had things under control. As I hung up Bo emerged from the bathroom looking a bit pale.

"I already called front desk and set up for the delivery. If there's anything else you need just tell me and I'll make it happen." She smiled as I said all this and my heart hammered for a second.

"I'm good, I really don't need much. I was wondering if there's a park or a gym near your place." She asked and I chuckled.

"There's a gym in our basement, I'm amused Fleur didn't tell you." I wore sly smile as Bo chuckled this time.

"Well, that's perfect then." She nodded.

"Ready to go?" I asked as she grabbed her things and moved towards me.

She stumbled and was falling but before I knew it my hand had snapped out to grab her. She squeezed my hand as she steadied herself and blushed as I gave her a smile. As we walked out I laughed to myself not wanting to hurt her pride or ego. Reality was, when you have a child your reflexes get so much better. You HAVE to constantly be saving them from impending doom. First few years of life they were so unstable it was laughable.

I didn't want to make a big deal about it but I didn't miss the fact she had left her hand in mine. I liked the fact she was trusting me little by little. I was glad there was no more lies between us, that slowly we had begrudgingly peeled away the bullshit between each other. I wanted to get Fleur back to normal as soon as possible because I wanted Bo to get to know her more. Selfishly I wanted to get to know Bo more as well.

As we put everything in the trunk and closed it Bo gave me a smile before hopping into the car. My phone rung and I saw it was Tamsin. I picked up before getting in the car and listened for any news.

"So she has no sign of any neurological trauma, her vitals are steady and strong, the x-rays look alright. If it wasn't for the GODDAMN seizures…" she trailed off frustrated.

"I'll come over right now and we'll figure it out Tamsin." I convinced her and she agreed before making me laugh profusely and hanging up.

I got into the car and looked at Bo who looked slightly anxious but patient. I didn't want to leave her in the dark so after I buckled up and started the car I talked to her.

"So Tamsin has everything straightened out at the lab just waiting on me. Fleur just woke up feeling, and I quote "like the world is happy and in slow motion" and Tamsin says she can't stop smiling so I'm going to take that as a good thing" I laughed.

"Are we going straight there?" she asked as I nodded.

"If you want. I could drop you off at the house if you'd like." I offered so she wouldn't feel pressure to come with me.

"I'd rather go to the lab with you if that's ok. I'll stay out of the way and work on my report of today's game, I gotta make my deadline."

"That's 100% alright with me, I know it'll make Fleur much happier to see you there." I admitted feeling slightly relieved.

We fell into a silence and I took it as a time to review Fleur's data in my head as I drove. It was at some point that Bo let out a frustrated sigh and I placed my hand atop hers in a bold move. She didn't protest and for the rest of the car ride there it stayed.

I heard her sigh happily and looked at her, she was glancing at our hands and I blushed quickly trying to compose myself. As her eyes met my own I gave her a reassuring smile.

"Where'd you go off to?" I asked as she shook her head.

"Thinking of all the things."

"Grab what you need, you can use my desk for your work. I have to get my hands right in there and get our girl better." I advised her as we got out of the vehicle.

After we went in and I put on my white lab coat. I was handed numerous charts to get me caught up. I led Bo to my desk and offered her the information she would need for her to work. Before I set out to do what I had to I wanted to reassure her once more.

"I know it looks bad, but she's just sedated so she doesn't hurt herself with another seizure. We'll be keeping her here at night, I have a team working on her around the clock now to make her feel comfortable."

"I… how do you do it? I mean, she looks sick and it's affecting me harshly. I've only known her for a few days, you've loved her almost her whole life… how do you not breakdown?" She asked and I mentally cringed thinking of all this conversation would entail.

I gave the area where Fleur was a glance and let out a soft sigh before continuing.

"I cry a lot at night when I go to bed. I just keep telling myself I have to keep working to make her better. Focusing on a task takes me away from the emotional part of it."

I hesitated because I was opening up more than I had originally intended. I felt as if Bo needed this as much as I did. Nobody had asked me about how I was going through this except my therapist. Even then Cassie and I focused a lot more on how I could positively handle Bo in case she came back to Fleur's life.

"I'm not a robot though, I still feel deep pain for Fleur to be in this state… I just mask it better than most I guess." I whispered before leaving in a rush.

It must've been hours of work now from the pain in my neck and the exhaustion in my eyes. I heard Tamsin groan beside me as she stretched in her chair equally exhausted. We had managed to identify the problem area in one of Fleur's chromosomes that was responsible for the immune system development. Sadly, like with many scientific processes, I didn't know what this meant yet. I thought that if I could identify the problem area I could develop something to counteract it, however when things are at a genetic level then it would be a little more difficult than what we previously expected.

I couldn't find my answers on Bo's genetic map and with the heaviness inside my heart I started to suspect that it would not be Bo from whom I needed answers but perhaps someone far darker from Fleur's past. The fact that Bo had never even mentioned any information about it led me to believe that this was a chapter in her life too painful to even bring up. I had to try every other way, every other alternative before asking something of such magnitude from Bo. I had to be 100% certain that I needed that before I asked. I hoped I never had the necessity.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked up to one of my nurses who had a steaming plate of what looked like Chinese food.

"Hurry up before Tamsin devours all that Lewis." She chuckled "It wouldn't be fair if the person who bought the food doesn't get to eat."

Iris motioned to where Bo sat writing intently and I smiled realizing she had gotten us all dinner. It warmed my heart such a gesture and I decided that I needed to go thank Bo for such a thing. I prepared two plates with everything and filled my pockets with fortune cookies and two bottles of water as I set off towards the brunette.

As I reached her she looked up to me from behind dark rimmed glasses, she reminded me of her daughter but the way her caramel eyes drank me in almost subconsciously made me blush. She looked astonishingly beautiful and I couldn't help myself as I grew nervous. I handed her a bottle of water placing her plate in front of her and took a seat next to her as our arms touched.

"Thanks for this Bo, you didn't have to." I whispered as I motioned at the food.

"I wanted to, you are all working so hard on Fleur. Besides, we never got to eat dinner together."

Before I could ponder or retort her question she picked up her chop sticks and made the most adorable face.

"I don't know how to use these things." She giggled and I was amused.

"Oh! Well there's no problem, I can teach you how right away." I chuckled.

I took the set I had for myself and helped her out by demonstrating as I explained how to do each thing. She looked intently at my instructions and the way a small wrinkle formed between her brow as she concentrated was identical to Fleur's when she did the same. I smiled fondly and spoke up.

"Allow the chopstick to lay on your ring finger. Wrap the top portion of your middle finger around the chopstick. Place your thumb onto the chopstick to give it added support." I corrected her grip and continued.

"The second chopstick should be placed between the thumb and forefinger or pointer finger… yeah that's good Bo."

"Now as you keep the bottom chopstick firmly in place, begin pushing down with your forefinger to have the chopstick move downwards. This is how you will clamp down on food. To move the chopstick back up, relax your forefinger." I helped her out and smiled as she got it.

"Now grab some food and you're all set to go!" I finished.

Dinner was a nice time away from the chaos in the lab. Bo had such a great sense of humour and we laughed about anything and everything she had brought up to subject. She was very eloquent and I could hear her excitedly talk like this for hours if needed be. I indulged some banter between our sports teams and she kept saying she'd be the one to get me into hockey and sports in general.

After I cleared our plates and we drank our waters I gave her a fortune cookie. She smiled and convinced me to open them together. We did but didn't read the fortunes, stashing them for another time and eating the cookie with glee. I felt my mood plummet a bit as I knew I had to broach the subject of leaving with Bo. I hated leaving Fleur here but I needed to rest and get back in the morning to do it again, she was counting on me and so was Bo. I couldn't let them down, it would kill me if I did.

"Everyone's going to start leaving soon but the nurses on duty. I will take us home soon. Fleur needs to stay here, it's the best for her. I feel selfish about going home but Tamsin insisted." I looked at my feet ashamed.

"Well, she's right, you have to go home and rest in order to come back tomorrow refreshed and ready to crack this." She was gentle as she spoke.

"Thank you Bo." I let out a sigh and looked her in the eye trying to convey how grateful I really was. "Be ready in 20?"

"That works." She nodded and I walked away to get everything ready for us to go home.

I had talked to Tamsin who had convinced me that leaving was the best option to help Fleur. She gathered her things and left promptly, exhaustion evident in her stance. I gathered everything from annotations to recordings in my bag and talked to the head nurse in charge of Fleur tonight. She had all the numbers and contacts needed to reach me. I assured her to let me know at any point if I needed to come in. The house was not far from here and I could be here in 15 minutes tops. I took a step and caressed my girl's face as she slept. There were a number of machines plugged into her. I kissed her forehead with a promise that I would see her in the morning. I hoped tomorrow would be the day I could crack this for good.


	9. Chapter 9

**Things get really real in this chapter. Enjoy!**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 09:**

I cried as hard as I could as I leaned over the cold metal. I wanted thunder to come down and strike me dead at once. I gripped the sides of the table as I felt my knees weaken and I crashed to the floor with the heaviness that consumed me. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think.

I felt the sharp sting of a palm across my face and my eyes focused on the blonde in front of me.

"We have a problem." She said firmly and pointed towards the door where I could see Bo had thrown up all over the entrance floor before staggering over.

I sobbed harder as I took Tamsin's arm and braced myself up. The weight of the devastation that was engulfing me almost making me buckle again. I walked on shaky legs and I winced as I heard Tamsin weep behind me. When I reached the older brunette she looked up at me with pleading eyes. My heart felt the stab of raw pain as I could see and recognize Fleur's face in her features. I let out a sob and I saw her bottom lip quiver.

"Tell me it's not true." She begged and I didn't know what to do as I cried harder.

"I…" she started backing away with wide eyes as she shook her head in disbelief. "she can't be dead."

"Bo" I cried trying to reach out for her.

Before I knew it she had turned and ran away from me. I turned and walked across the lab but crumbled to my knees again as I couldn't hold on much longer. I don't remember how long I cried or how long I sat there on that same spot. Tamsin had come and gone and Dyson had come and tried to get me up but I just wasn't responding. I had closed up to the world choosing to watch it go by slowly.

It had been a long time when Dyson kneeled in front of me with tears in his eyes. I finally looked up seeing the raw fresh pain in his soul. He shook his head and grabbed my hand.

"There's been… a problem Lauren…" his voice was thick with pain and I couldn't possibly imagine what was more problematic right now other than the fact that my daughter was now dead.

"I… I don't know how to say this…" he hiccupped and Tamsin stared at him from afar.

"Out with it Dyson." I croaked wanting to mourn in peace.

"Bo overdosed, she's dead." He blurted out as I heard the horrified gasp coming from Tamsin behind us.

I didn't hear anything else, I was now in a bottomless dark pit that I didn't know how to get out of. What was worse than losing Fleur? Losing Bo as well. Before I realized it the pain was so hard and so much that I felt it build in my chest and I opened my lips letting out a painful scream that ripped through me.

:

:

:

"Lauren! Lauren!" I could hear myself screaming over her speaking my name.

As my eyes focused on warm brown ones that held my own worried as I slowly stopped. I blinked several times to make sure I was seeing correctly. Her warm eyes held my own as her lips moved, yet I could not make the words. I could only feel the relief flooding through me. Bo was in front of me alive… which meant that Fleur was alive.

"Was it a dream?" I caught myself whispering aloud still feeling that huge heaviness of pain in my heart as I cried.

"Shhh, Lauren it's ok, it was a bad dream, that's all" I heard her whisper.

Before I realized it Bo had wrapped her arms around me strongly. She smelled so good and I felt so protected. I had time and now composure to realize I had dreamt that horrific scenario. It had all been in my head as part of a horrible nightmare. I clung to Bo as I felt the relief wash over me that she was still here, sober and safe.

I felt the sobs come out of me heavy and unguarded as Bo held me tighter whispering sweet nothings in my ear. I pulled her into bed with me unwillingly, I didn't want to be careless but I needed so much comfort in this moment that I didn't know what else to do. She pulled away from me and I hiccupped as I realized I was doing something I shouldn't have, no matter how much I needed it.

It caught me by surprise when her arms wrapped around me again pulling me against her chest as she laid me down, her back propped against the headboard. I gripped her shirt and just let go. I let it all out, all that I had been grabbing onto for the past weeks, months…who knows, maybe even years. I was done being the perfect student, the perfect doctor, the perfect mother… I was me, and I didn't have all the answers. That scared me to no end.

This nightmare had been a really rude awakening and I didn't know how to handle it. If Bo hadn't been here who knows how I would've handled all this. Truth was, I didn't know how to live without Fleur. I didn't want to live like that. The natural order of things was that kids bury their parents, not the other way around. I felt my chest heave with a new wave of tears as Bo's hold tightened around me and she shushed me soothingly. This woman…

I had not missed the kindness Bo's heart had, not even when I was being a major bitch to her. In reality it was one of the things that had convinced me to leave Fleur in the house full of strangers as I rushed to my car that day. She had kept my daughter safe even though it wasn't doing her recovery any good. Now that she had reappeared into our lives, no matter how briefly it was, she had burrowed herself in my heart with how she treated Fleur. Yesterday alone I had received millions of pictures from the both of them showing me how great of a time they were having with each other. I had fashion shoots, smiling faces, crazy faces, food half-chewed faces and so on, but the brightest smile I had seen on Fleur's face was when Bo had gotten her a matching jersey.

I could above all notice the woman was trying hard, she was pushing outside her comfort level and trying to let not only Fleur into her heart but me by association. I had been touched when she hadn't wanted to leave our side even though I could tell it was painful for her to see Fleur in the state she was in. I was grateful when she got the whole staff dinner earlier and if anything it helped me see that indeed she was only lost in the cruelties in the world, deep down she was a very giving person.

Even now as she held me and I cried silently over everything she was pushing past her comfort zone to comfort me. That wasn't lost on me and then more I got to see of Bo the more the feelings inside of me grew. I knew from that terrifying nightmare that I would be destroyed if I lost Bo, only confirming what Tamsin had speculated not long ago. I didn't want to face it and accept it, Fleur's condition needed attention and the only way I could do that was focusing on her. However as Bo's scent of earth and sun engulfed me, I knew I was already too drawn to the brunette not to notice my feelings for her, however new they were.

I had been deep in sleep when my alarm went off. It was way too early to be up after staying up with such a horrible nightmare. I let out a sigh ready to turn off my alarm, still confused between sleep and awake I could've sworn Bo had been with me. Before I knew it the world shifted below me, that alarm went off and I felt myself being pulled against the other body in bed comfortably. I smiled and snuggled into her realising it hadn't been a dream and I woke up to Bo for a second time. This time in my bed. If the circumstances weren't so gloom I'd be having a small internal dance.

I reveled in the way my body moulded into her own soft one before I felt her stiffen. This brought me back to reality and the fact that Bo was indeed in my bed and had been pulled there by me during a really bad night terror. I didn't want to push any further and have her not be comfortable with how things could be in the future. Despite her being absent from Fleur's life so far, what I had been able to see had convinced me that I wanted Bo to be part of our own little makeshift family.

I pushed away from Bo quickly yet gently and stood up as heat rose in my cheeks. Bo was stunning in the morning, I couldn't get over it and even if I woke up to her many times more I still knew I would be just as breathless. I chuckled to cover how flustered she had left me with the small sideways smile she had just given me before we pulled apart. As if she sensed my embarrassment she smiled again and spoke up, her voice was groggy with sleep and I just about melted on the spot. I had a crush on this woman badly.

"It's ok. You had a bad dream… so did I. I needed that too." She explained and I pleasantly surprised with her boldness, her forwardness was refreshing from the reluctant personality I had seen from Bo so far.

"Thank you Bo. Really… it meant a lot… I'm going to take a shower and get ready for my day, you're welcome to spend a few more minutes in bed." I offered feeling bad that I had woken her up at this ungodly hour as well.

Truth was I needed some time for myself as well. As much as I had enjoyed Bo's company, the reason for her company didn't escape me. I needed some time alone to get my head straightened out for my day and it appeared that so did Bo. Last night was heavy enough as it was, I didn't want my crush for the brunette to make me clingy or needy when the woman needed strength herself. I saw her face change as a dark expression took over her. I could now begin to recognize when Bo wasn't going down a healthy line of thinking and I wanted to nip it in the butt.

"Bo." I ventured as I touched her cheek, I was scared to touch her without permission yet I couldn't help myself just now. Her eyes met mine and I pleaded "Don't… don't think about that. Whatever that was, I don't want you thinking it."

"I'll try." she whispered in a low voice.

"I'm here if you ever need to talk. I know I'm no therapist and I'm not perfect either, but I'll listen with no judgement. I promise." I meant the words wholeheartedly.

"I don't want to talk about this though… not yet. **I know** I'm being irrational and when it's like this I can manage." She sounded sincere as she got out of bed and I got an idea.

"Second door to the left between the bedroom you were staying in and Fleur's. That's the basement gym door." She gave me a smile and I nodded.

"Thank you." I grabbed my items for a shower that would wake my senses up.

"Feel free to use anything, eat anything, and treat it as your home as well please." I added remembering my manners all of the sudden.

"Alright… but afterwards, I'd like to have breakfast with you please." She surprised me for the second time in this morning with her forwardness and I welcomed it.

I tightened the grip on my clothes as a beaming smile covered my lips wanting nothing but to cross the distance within us and kiss Bo. I don't understand what was coming over me after being so vulnerable with the woman, yet I welcomed the feeling. It had been so long since I felt such things towards someone. I had never felt an attraction so strong to render me speechless or useless, yet here I was. It was as if Bo and I had a chemical reaction that was undeniable by any means, I liked that but I pondered if she felt it too and if she did, was it hurting her?

"Sounds good, I'll cook us something up if I'm out first." I added as I realized I hadn't answered her yet and with one last smile I headed to my shower.

As the water washed over me I mulled things over, I wanted nothing but good things between Bo and I for Fleur's sake. It scared me thinking about my crush in the grand scheme of things. I liked Bo a lot, yet she was Fleur's mother, she was here to get to know Fleur and not looking for… _what? Romance?_

I wasn't naïve to think Bo would integrate herself into our world and drop her whole life in Ottawa, which was insane for me to ask of her. I was not sure if Bo was ready for that level of commitment yet and I wasn't about to push her into it. We would take things in baby steps and I would love to be her friend and get to know more about the woman who gave me the gift of my child. I didn't know how to describe it, but I felt the bond between us was very strong; she had my child, I raised her child. It was something that I would cherish for the rest of my life.

I thought back to when Bo and I had first met, as painful as it was to remember now because of how rude I had been. I remembered clearly when a pained Bo had told me she had acted in the best interest of her daughter. I was unreasonable back then and held an unfair grudge against her, her addiction was not something she had been able to control when she was young and I now realized she **DID** do what was best for Fleur back then.

I let out a deep sigh as flashes of the nightmare were still vivid in my head. Figures that when I finally got over Bo's soulless, haunted eyes a new nightmare would take hold. I was desperate to find a way to get over my fear and it took all of me to not walk into that gym right now for company. Bo's presence was strangely calming for me and I wanted to feel that peace once more.

In the end I respected her time alone and got out of my shower and went about my routine. When I was dressed I decided to straighten my hair since I had the time. The small tasks would keep my mind occupied and help me get out of the possibilities in my own mind.

After I was ready for my day I set out to cook something since Bo was still going at it. I could hear the snap of the punching bag up here and I smiled thinking this was why Bo's arms were so strong and sculpted. I busied myself gathering the ingredients for the meal. I set out to make Fleur's favourite; eggs, bacon, creton, homefries and toast. It sent me into a routine full of normalcy and I needed that right now. I needed to feel stable again, it had been far too long since anything felt normal anymore.

I was in the middle of finishing the eggs as I rocked out with my music when I stilled feeling a presence beside me. As I turned I was taken aback and I felt the raw wave of lust hit me in full force. Bo was literally a walking sin right now. She was clad in skin tight sports tights' that fit her like a second skin, yet what caught my attention fully was the fact that she was in just a sports bra and her breasts looked incredibly delectable as the small beads of sweat adorned her body. I gave her an amused smile and bit my bottom lip as I tried to compose myself as I decided to play a little.

"What?" she asked after pulling out an earbud and I smiled.

"It's hot in here" I looked down to what I was doing so I wouldn't stare up and down Bo's body, she was absolute perfection.

"You're in front of a stove" she added like a smartass and I saw where Fleur got this from.

" _You're_ hot." I smiled as I could see her adorable flustered face in my peripheral. "I mean… why else would you be in the kitchen with no shirt on?"

I knew I shouldn't be teasing her, after all, she had been brought down by my actions before but somehow my mouth had a mind of its own. I didn't want things to be awkward between us and decided at the first sign of uncomfortableness from Bo I'd stop. She looked slightly embarrassed but other than that I saw no signs of her being distressed. Just when I thought I should back off since she was clamming up she caught me by surprise.

"Have you ever kissed a girl?" By the groan that followed the hurried statement in what sounded like verbal diarrhea I could tell she was indeed flustered.

"Is that an invitation Dennis?" I dared back as I threw my head back in laughter.

"It's a curiosity… conversation call it." She tried to cover her tracks but she was just as obvious as her daughter was.

I laughed and gave her a fond look. Before I could say anything she raised a finger at me in signal that she wanted me to halt and I did. She rushed out of the room and I couldn't help the small smile that now resided in my face. The change of mood suddenly was a drastic contrast of what I had seen in Bo, yet I welcomed it so much. The moment she flirted back I felt as if a weight had been pulled from my shoulders and the tension had left my body realizing she had found it fun as well. I admonished myself silently for the lapse in judgement and being so open with Bo. I didn't want to hinder her recovery in any way and I knew I was being selfish but it was so easy getting lost in how good I felt with Bo in contrast of how helpless I felt with Fleur.

Fleur…

Before my mind could run down that road of negativity and guilt mixed with anxiety and failure fresh in my mouth, Bo walked in the room once more. I smiled feeling myself grow fonder of the brunette as she walked in the room with a shirt on. It was a character from my favourite anime. Fleur had gotten me into it and we loved watching it every Thursday before everything turned into chaos.

"You didn't have to change… I mean, I said make yourself at home." I kept it light with Bo to occupy the troubling thoughts.

"Well Ryan had this weird thing that we all have to wear a shirt at the table… And are you bailing on the question Doctor?" she demanded in the end as I chuckled wholeheartedly embarrassed.

"So… I take it there have been non-shirt days at the table to begin with?" I steered us towards the table full of food. "And before you ask again. Yes, plenty in fact."

"Wow Lauren!" She laughed and I gave her a triumphant smile.

"What can I say? Ladies tend to like the smarts." I admitted as she nodded.

"I'll have to crack a book or two." She mentioned and I shook my head.

Thing about Bo was, she was extremely beautiful yet the fact escaped her. It was the same with how smart she was. Tamsin had said so herself, Bo's quick thinking and wit had saved Fleur an immense amount of pain. I wished that I could put things into words less scientifically at times and tried to be as basic as I could just so I would not lose the message to a simple miscommunication.

"See… there's different kinds of smarts. There's book smarts, academic smarts, test smarts… those things I'm good at. You on the other hand if you're anything like Fleur, and I suspect you are, then you're street smart, you can get around in the world, you're sociable which is why you're in the media, you're very knowledgeable with numbers and statistics which I personally don't excel at."

It seemed like she pondered on that for a minute. I let her mull it over in her head. If my daughter had taught me something it was that different people processed things differently. If Fleur was any indication then Bo was the type to process things solely yet deeply. After a moment or two she looked down at the table seemingly just noticing the amount of food in front of us.

"So much stuff!" I chuckled at her enthusiasm.

"When you have a kid who can eat like Fleur can, you learn to cook fast and in big amounts. You're probably a big eater too, I'd bet 50% on it." I remembered fondly as Fleur would put it away on most days.

"I think the apple doesn't fall far from the tree on that one." Bo predicted and I smiled brightly.

We ate in silence just enjoying each other's company for now. She had complimented me on the food a million times and it made me blush more than I cared to admit. To be honest, mornings had been the hardest for me since Fleur had fallen ill. Usually in a normal morning we would wake up and would have breakfast together. She was very independent so she was a whirlwind most of the morning and I enjoyed her rushing about looking for socks or another thing she had misplaced the night before. Ever since she had been sick, whenever she got **this** sick she'd stay in the clinic. I usually tried to stay with her not being able to take the loneliness in the house. It was why Tamsin and Dyson were around so much.

I had wanted recently to talk to someone. I had been upset that I had not been able to find the answers I needed for Fleur. Tamsin seemed off these days, when she wasn't in the lab with me she seemed out of sync with the world and it worried me. I had put it aside to exhaustion since I felt it too but I didn't dare talk to Tamsin about to the extent of how lonely I had felt lately. I didn't want to bother Dyson either knowing he was probably busy with Tamsin as well.

"You know Bo… thank you for last night." I whispered as I felt the heat on my cheeks "I really appreciate your company and comfort."

She looked down with a small smile playing on her lips. My heart fluttered at the realization that the woman felt needed and she liked it. I smiled myself knowing that my discomfort had at least brought forth something in Bo that would've otherwise been overlooked.

"You're welcome Lauren. Just like you offered earlier I am here if you ever need to talk, or cry, or be held, or whatever." She offered as I nodded.

"Thanks, means a lot that you offered."

"It's the least I can do, you've taken care of me twice now." I was confused I could only remember helping her during our first encounter.

"The blizzard was the one time…" I tried but she shook her head.

"…And when you helped Ryan and Kenzie with my relapse." She admitted and I winced at the memory.

It seemed Bo was having a backlash of her positive mood. I couldn't deny her this conversation though. We had never talked about it besides that day she called me. We had briefly skimmed through it here but now it seemed she wanted to talk all about it. I wasn't sure I wanted to go down this road knowing it would put Bo in a dangerous place mentally.

"You know… I didn't know if you wanted to talk about that or not." I ventured into the subject gently.

"I just, I don't remember much if any of it and I don't know if it was… ugh I don't even know what I'm trying to say here." I couldn't help the smile on my lips as she rambled, it was endearing to say the least.

"Bo… you were fighting Kenzie and Ryan the whole way, you had almost thrown yourself out of the truck three or four times, yet when you got to me you stood so still as if you couldn't believe I was there." I whispered half amused half perplexed at how she had managed to break the window clean off the truck.

I watched as Bo's expression changed into a darkened one and her lip trembled as she shook her head. This was why I was so reluctant of going down this path, yet I knew we had to talk about it. This was about Bo's recovery, being able to fill gaps of blankness because of her addiction.

"What is it?" I asked gently, I wanted her to be open and know she could come to me and trust me.

"I hurt my friends very deep." She looked so broken in that moment I longed for nothing more than to scoop her in my arms.

"Your friends care for you very much Bo, they understand you weren't in your right mind." I offered but she shook her head.

"I… I broke Kenzie's heart and… oh God. I almost raped Ryan and I don't know how to live myself with that."

I shook my head internalizing what she had said. It didn't scare me as much as it should've though. The fact that Ryan was so worried and was coming over attested to my precious words, she had been under the influence which is why addictions were so bad in the first place. It hurt to hear Bo's voice so raw with pain and regret. I wasn't naïve, I knew she could revert to that at any moment, she could at some point just push that step into the unknown and be back in the throes of it all… yet I could not believe that, I refused. The woman in front of me was trying to be strong and confident and I'd be dammed if I didn't try my best to boost that confidence. I had every intention of seeing Bo succeed at life with our daughter by her side.

I looked into myself, my own past and saw a lot of similarities with Bo, with the trouble she was having through life. I wasn't addicted to anything besides work, yet I had gone through a very hard childhood and knew things didn't quite work out the way we were made to believe by fairy tales. Bo was struggling with life, like I once had and many people did daily. I knew that if Bo was to get better, she needed to connect. I had to open up to her in order to receive it back so I chose my next words carefully.

"You know…" I started and wished I could hold her hand to drive my point forwards. "People often don't realize how fragile yet sturdy a human being is. When something they feel they can't overcome comes their way they shatter and fracture and become many broken pieces and sometimes there's no putting them back together. However, when there's something to fight for, something to overcome these obstacles for it's amazing how a human can just grit their teeth and bare it. I'm of the firm belief that you are amongst the latter. There are things you've done in the past that I **know** you'll overcome."

"How come… why do you have so much faith in me? I mean, I get it, I gave you a kid… but let's be honest here it's not the most ideal situation." She tried to rationalize but I looked at her straight in the eyes so she wouldn't miss my answer.

"You held me when I crumbled, even though you could've just turned around and left me with my demons."

"You give me too much credit." She tried to belittle herself but I wasn't having any of that.

"You don't understand Bo. Because of how things have gone everyone is focused on Fleur and I'm going to sound selfish but nobody had taken the time to ask me how I felt. Last night was the one real meal I've sat down and eaten in the last two weeks and it was because **you** made sure I ate. My sleeping two nights in a row was thanks to **you** making sure I got some rest." I sat quietly again letting her internalize what I said before I pressed on.

"I can see you have a very big heart and those are the basic values which I raised our daughter with. I have faith in you because I feel that you can do great things… just like I feel I can cure our daughter. One goes with the other, if I lose faith of one the other will inevitably fail."

She nodded understanding the gravity of my words. I had been honest. I believed as much in her recovery as I did on me finding the cure for Fleur. If I faltered in any of those beliefs one would crumble with the other. For some reason this was truth in my mind and heart.

We were broken up from our thoughts as her phone rung. With muttered words she excused herself to go answer and I leaned back in my chair as I watched her go. I reminded myself to be patient, that things with Bo were different, just like things with me had been different. I chuckled ironically as I stood to clear the table. Just when I thought I had finally figured out how to do this life thing, it throws me a curve ball with the name of Bo Dennis.

I busied myself with the dishes to distract me from the heavy topics. Looking out the window I could see summer fading fast and fall approaching with a slight rustle in the leaves. I felt as much turmoil as the changing of the seasons brought. If this was 20 minutes into Bo's mind then I sure as hell had to do something about it. The woman seemed to battle an internal roller coaster the whole time and it was as if she was fighting between believing my words and letting herself believe such things. I wanted to sit down and talk to Cassie about so many things. My head felt clouded with confusion over how to act around Bo and I needed guidance.

Despite the darkness of the last conversation I hadn't missed the openness which she had spoken to me. She had made herself vulnerable and that to me was a step in the right direction. Last night and today showed me Bo trusted me and that made me feel hopeful. I wanted to hold her close so many times throughout the day and tell her she was wonderful. Truth was she had really snapped me out of a really bad bout of lonesomeness.

I was a bit startled when I felt Bo's shoulder brush against mine but she gave me a smile. Her mood seemed different, more energetic and light, which I was grateful for. She shoved me aside a bit to help clean the dishes and I allowed it as I waited for her to speak what was obviously on her mind. After a few minutes she spoke up softly.

"I'm sorry it got real heavy earlier. It's just… it's how it goes with me. I can be having a super amazing time like earlier and then bam I get hit with this like megastorm of bad."

"I understand, I don't mind talking things out with you Bo. I'd rather talk things out with you than not. Silence scares me because I can't figure it out but dialogue gives me something to work with." I confessed as she nodded.

"What you said earlier… Sometimes I feel… like once upon a time I was whole. It was so long ago that I do not remember how it's supposed to feel like or if I even imagined it. Something along the way happened and I shattered in a million pieces… And I feel… I feel like along the way I've recovered all the slivers and shreds but I'm sitting here with glue and tape with no idea how to put it all back together." I felt the tug at my heart with her words and remembered a time when I felt the same way.

"I know what you mean ironically." I spoke up wanting her to know some of it. "I… when I was young, even before I remember my parents died in a car crash. They didn't have families of their own, being only children to only children made the matter of my custody difficult."

"Did you end up in the system?"

"No. I was lucky enough that my parent's lawyer didn't want me to grow in the system. I don't know if what he did was much better than the system but by the time I was 17 I had college level comprehension with no social skills whatsoever. I had a really hard time adjusting to society and the way things got done. For a long time I felt like you just described."

I was lost in my own memories. Now that it had passed, that I was in a good place relatively, I could look back on it without the scorn I had seen it once. I had been lucky not to end up in the system, yet my life was not all that most people thought it had been. I was very lonely for a very long time.

"How did you get rid of it?" she snapped me out of my thoughts.

I smiled brightly as a new memory engulfed me and I looked happily into her eyes confessing the secret.

"I adopted Fleur. She became my family, someone who would need me and love me for my whole life." I was scared that the last part was no longer a guarantee.

"Just like she will see me stay sober." The conviction in her voice startled me yet filled me with pride and I smiled nodding.

"I decided to take the job here in Toronto." She shifted our conversation to my immense delight.

"That's great! I'm really happy for you Bo."

"Apparently Ryan and Kenzie bought a house around here so we're neighbors now." She beamed with the news and I was stumped.

"Really?" I asked incredulous as she nodded.

"That's what they said. Apparently a no brainer since I now work here and Fleur is sick." She moved her head in agreement and I still reeled.

"You guys just up and left your life in Ottawa for Fleur..." I whispered not truly believing it.

They had left everything they knew, their jobs, their lives because Fleur was sick. Because she needed both of her mother's to get better… The determination and commitment in Bo's voice, the way she said it as if it was a given, filled me with so much hope.

"Fleur is one of the most important things in my life right now Lauren. Like you said I loved her from the beginning, and after what happened in the hotel, this is a second chance. You've made this possible and pushed me to be stable before this happened and I thank you for that. You're important to me too now, we'll handle Fleur's illness together."

The words washed over me like a wave in the sea just reaching my soul and washing it anew. She had confirmed what I had hoped and she was ready. She was not only staying for Fleur but for me as well. She knew and accepted the fact that we both needed her and the angels she called friends. I couldn't quite contain the happiness in my heart, this was truly a breakthrough in how Bo managed things and I was truly lucky to witness it. I felt tears stain my eyes at how full my heart felt at this moment, how supported I felt by not only this woman but her friends.

She must've confused my tears for sadness as she rushed to me and held my face in her hands as she tried to make eye contact with me. She wiped my tears and as our eyes locked I felt something so deep for the woman in front of me I had to smile at her trying to convey how I felt. In seconds I felt her come closer to me and my heart hammered in my chest in a different way.

I was painfully aware of how close we were and how she kept looking at my lips. I wanted so desperately to close the gap between us and taste her lips. After the way she had warmed my heart with her words, I wanted to see if her lips were as gentle as her soul. I could feel her breath warm on my lips and I felt my finger's twitch as I restrained myself from curling my hand behind her head and pulling her to me.

Truth was, I was as excited as I was petrified. I didn't know how this was supposed to go. Was I supposed to step back even though I was pinned to the counter now? Should I speak up and stop this? How do I know if this was… _ **an urge**_.

"I want you to kiss me now Lauren Lewis." She whispered and any doubt that had rolled into my head disappeared as I met her eager lips.

She tasted as good as she had before. I had not wanted to savor that last kiss, but this was reminding me how easy it was to get lost in Bo. I had thought of her lips on mine constantly and now here they were again. This time under her own request no less. I sighed as our lips dance together and I felt myself melt into Bo. Her strong arms held me tightly as mine wrapped around her as well not wanting to let go. I heard a soft sigh escape her and I almost combusted on the spot as it edged me on and I ran my tongue on her bottom lip.

She pulled back abruptly and I kicked myself internally for the blunder. Of course that was NOT ok. I wanted to apologize but the smile that played on her lips prevented me from it.

"I'm just not ready for that yet… I don't want to fall into old habits… you're my daughter's mother after all." She joked whispering into my hair as she held me close still.

"I'm your baby momma." I joked as well as she laughed wholeheartedly.

"Technically I'm your baby momma, but tomato tomahto." I rolled my eyes at the logic and she seemed pleased.

"You and Fleur are so silly sometimes." I noted and she seemed proud.

I stared into her eyes and felt the lightness of the moment take me away once more as we pulled apart. I needed her to know how much I had enjoyed that. If this was something she would throw herself in the dark corners of despair for, I wanted to prevent that.

"I… I really liked that Bo." I confessed touching my bottom lip. "I don't care if it was a one-time thing… I just wanted you to know, I **really** liked that.

"I did too." She surprised me as she played with my hands while I looked at our fingers. "I just need to take things slow."

"So there are going to be things that are going to be meant to be taken slow?" I teased as she chuckled making my heart soar.

"I'd like that." She admitted.

"I would too." I whispered before looking into her eyes once more.

"This is all new to me though, I have no idea how it'll go and sometimes I might need space and…" there it was… darkness pouring in.

"It's alright Bo. I'm patient and I can wait for us to do or not do things at your pace." I chuckled wanting to remind her I had a tween, I was the epitome of patience.

"Promise me nothing will come between us and Fleur. I will **never** give her up again." She panicked and I was horrified she'd even worry about such a thing.

"And I will never ask you to no matter what happens. The only way you'll ever lose Fleur is if you go back to your old ways and I think you have no plans of that." I made things clear.

I looked into her eyes as I cradled her face in my hands. She melted into my touch and I smiled happily. Bo made me feel light and careless even though the world was falling on my shoulders. I enjoyed the escape she made me feel and somehow my mind felt clear and ready for the new challenges. I decided to not waste any more time. I needed to feel her lips on mine again.

"I'm going to kiss you again Bo unless you don't want me to." I warned playfully.

"I want you to." She nodded and that was all the prompt I ever needed to crash our lips together again.

Bo saw me to the car, deciding to stay behind and meet up with Ryan and Kenzie. She still hadn't told them about Fleur and she was anxious. I tried to convince her to wait and tell them with me. I'd rather she have me there for support if the subject gave her any kind of anxiety. She said she'd play it by ear and with a few longing glances and a few giggles when she bumped her head against the door I peeled off. On my way to the lab I was optimistic not only about Fleur but about Bo as well. I was ready for the lows but also the highs that came with Bo. I touched my lips as a reminder I had just kissed the beautiful brunette; knowing I could fix our daughter.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks so much for the reviews guys! As I said in Heavy In Your Arms, I'm sorry the chapter is late I stabbed my finger at work and it was hard to write. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and journey and remember to leave me a line or two.**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 10**

I felt my eyes droop slightly as I looked through the microscope once again. It was difficult to stay focused in this ONE thing I was doing right now. I needed some sleep and something to eat. As wonderful as the night with Bo had been it wasn't the best sleep, I had been on edge after my nightmare. I kept glancing the clock, realizing that Tamsin was more than 2 hours late. I didn't call her or Dyson, I wanted her to rest, the research was taking a huge toll on her and she looked rough more often than not.

I let out a frustrated sigh as I leaned back in my chair giving Fleur a glance before standing. The lab was an open space with a couple of areas separated by small thin walls. It had been designed for everyone to be able to see everybody else since it was a learning environment as well. The various work stations and equipment were messy with my work and I felt embarrassed I had commandeered the room as of late.

I knew I needed a break but I couldn't get myself to take it. I grabbed my phone and willed myself to put it down. I wanted to reach out to Bo, speak to her about anything to get my mind off research, anything to restart my thinking. I put the phone down against the cold metal surface and let out another sigh, I knew I couldn't rush such things.

My fingers traced my soft lips as a smile adorned my mouth. I let out a soft breath I hadn't noticed I was holding as I thought of this morning. Hours ago, yet the warmth of Bo's lips upon my own still lingered with a fire I liked. I had been obviously taken aback by her kissing me, even though she had asked me to do so. I realized in that moment and as I thought about it afterwards that I had wanted to properly kiss Bo since she had ever so beautifully came back into my life.

I walked into the small area where Fleur was in the hospital bed. She had a ventilator on and an EKG machine accompanied by a few more machines monitoring her while she was sedated. I brushed her hair out of her face with a sad smile. She looked so much like Bo, I wanted nothing but to wake her up and have her come to life and be her vibrant young self. I knew I couldn't take the risk and I needed to come up with a solution in order for that to happen.

The pressure was on the more I looked upon the clock. I had only a handful of hours until I could wake Fleur up with no consequences to what her treatment had been. However if I was unsuccessful then like a previous time Fleur's muscles would start to get atrophied and in the end she'd have to get Physical Therapy when we woke her up. I felt the incredible pressure physically on my shoulders as I straightened my lab coat and kissed Fleur's cheek before I set off to work once more.

Before I reached my cluttered desk my phone rang invading the silence in the space. I saw it was not a number I recognized and I sighed having hoped it was Bo.

"Dr. Lewis." I answered quickly as I heard a man on the other line.

"Hello Dr. Lewis this is Dr. Reid from the genealogy department in Cambridge university." He introduced himself as I smiled with relief flooding my body.

"Thank you for returning my call Dr. Reid I was hoping to hear from you soon." I confessed as he chuckled embarrassedly.

"I have been caught up with some side work as a consultant for the FBI so I had been out of office." He admitted in the form of an apology. "I heard you were having issues with a particular case of extreme pressure, your own daughter? I'd like to offer you some of my expertize."

"That's correct, my adopted daughter. I thank you for the help immensely, there are things that are escaping my tired mind and another set of eyes would do me wonders. I must say, I have a whole different set of tests and samples since I last tried communicating with you." I explained.

"Alright, let's do this… I'll be in my office for the next five hours or so. I can set up a video call and we can talk somewhat face to face and hopefully I can be of some use." He mentioned and I felt as if there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

"It really does mean a lot to me that you're helping Dr. Reid." I confessed once again.

"After what you did for Dr. Wilson a few years back I cannot repay you enough, the method you developed has saved countless lives." He complimented and I blushed.

After a few more instructions we hung up and I rushed to my desk loading up the application we would be using to communicate. I wanted nothing more than to have answers and this way I would be one step closer. As I waited for Dr. Reid I remembered the argument Tamsin and I had recently. She was highly upset at me but I couldn't do anything about it without trying something different first.

" _No Lauren!" the blonde roared at me in anger and frustration as her hands shook uncontrollably._

" _Tamsin I_ _ **cannot**_ _simply rush into things like this blindly." I explained to no avail._

" _No Lauren, you're a DOCTOR, you're a scientist. You should be getting guidance from facts and science not from feelings… the only reason why we're dilly-dallying is the fact that it's Bo." She accused and I flinched._

" _That's reason enough Tamsin." I said through gritted teeth tired of the argument that had arose._

" _Your daughter should be reason enough not to care about anything else. Stop thinking with your cunt." The blonde's words cut deep within me as I slapped her face crossly in anger._

 _I had never ever been for physical violence, yet my anger was so much that I couldn't control myself. How dare she even hint at the possibility of me not wanting or compromising curing Fleur. I was not only looking for what was best for her but also Bo in the end and I wouldn't hide that fact. I was trying to do right by the older woman and calling her past into the picture right now would be highly unfair._

 _Tamsin stared at me shocked before narrowing her eyes at me in hurt and confusion. I let out a huge sigh, I was not going to apologize for standing my ground but maybe we should've talked about things more calmly. Her eyes met mine and she scoffed in disgust._

" _We should press for Fleur's father, it's the only way." She continued as I shook my head with finality._

" _You don't know that Tamsin and until I don't know 100% beyond the shadow of a doubt that's the only way I won't broach it with Bo and neither will you."_

That had been right after I had gotten to the lab, it had been hours now. I frowned thinking perhaps I had been too hard on Tamsin, yet I knew she knew what buttons she was pushing. Dr. Reid's conference call drew me away from my thoughts and before I knew it I was explaining everything and every finding to the young man.

After hours of arduous work and consultation, dead ends and a few trial and errors we finally arrived to a formula I knew I could potentially work with to improve Fleur's symptoms. After we hung up and I promised to keep him updated I fell to my chair exhausted. We had been working together for the best of four hours and it was critical I woke Fleur up in the next two hours.

I was hesitant though, overall even after talking to Dr. Reid I knew I was taking a big chance. I didn't want to be naïve and think, like the first time, that this serum was a cure. It was a treatment, something to buy me time, something to have her conscious without her missing her life while I fix her. Fleur needed to be a child and learn and grow free from this bed and this serum might be able to provide that.

I quickly went into the recording area and turned on the video camera as I sat down on the stool in front of it at the ready. I was eager to start this and knew liability within my clinic was paramount.

"This is Dr. Lewis on the case of Fleurence Charlotte Lewis file 3-0-5-6-9-9-8. Today is day four of the induced coma and with experimental serum-to be logged at this very moment: 4-8-5-5-6-we hope to correct the symptoms until a full cure can be found." I marked eloquently in the log.

"Log status complete Dr. Lewis signing out." I finished and turned off the camera with a sigh.

I wanted to have Bo here for when Fleur would wake, she was as worried as I was and it was only fair that she'd be here with her daughter as well. I could also hear the selfish woman in me begging for her closeness and attention as well. I couldn't put Bo in that roller coaster though, I had to wake Fleur up and stay vigilant the first few hours for signs of deterioration.

I went into the small area that held my girl and walked up to her med pump. I scanned the bar code from the serum introducing it into the database and confirming it was safe for it to be administered. I nervously injected it into the line and waited as it was mixed into her bloodstream.

I grabbed a seat next to her bed flipping the channels of the TV the nurses had brought-in for her. When I realized there was nothing catching my eye I turned to a book I had picked out recently and started reading. I was in chapter 06 and it was about trust. Cassie had recommended a couple of books for me to read on sexual addiction. The one I liked the most was written by a new very innovative doctor called Marquise. The insight the woman had on the treatment of sexual addiction was immeasurably helpful when it came to dealing with Bo.

The book was aimed at partners of sexual addicts and even though I couldn't boldly consider myself Bo's partner, I wanted to make sure I could thread lightly around her in spite of this attraction. I didn't dare read too much into this morning. It had felt so nice and safe to sleep in Bo's arms, yet the kiss had been something all too different for me. I had never felt the way I did when I kissed Bo before and it scared me. It scared me because I knew slowly but surely this woman was making her way into her heart. I wanted to believe in her and I did, yet there was always the small fear of the uncertain in a corner. I never wanted to set her off on a binge ever again and therefore I researched on how to treat her.

Most of what I had read so far stressed how much going at Bo's pace would be crucial. However I was discouraged from encouraging her on behaviour that was too fast paced for her progress. In all reality Bo was very hard for me to read and I had to observe her more and more to come to realize slowly but surely my body was tuning to hers and her needs.

Before I could ponder more on Bo and her effects on me I felt stirring besides me. I looked down to see Fleur slowly batting her eyelids and moaning at the light moving a slow hand to guard her eyes. She grunted a bit and her eyes focused on me.

"Momma" she whispered and I felt a knot on the back of my throat. No matter what she always asked for me when she woke up.

"I'm here baby." I breathed and offered her some water through a straw which she drank eagerly.

"I'm so confused." She moaned groggily and I chuckled.

"I know honey, I'm sorry. You had to take a lot of medicine. Do you remember what happened?" I asked gently as she nodded her head slowly.

"I had an attack when I was with Bo." She lamented. "Is Bo gone? Did I scare her away?"

Her voice was so vulnerable I put the cup down and scooped her in my arms pressing her against me tightly as she wrapped her arms around me weakly.

"No baby girl, she's still here she just had to do some things. She's been worried sick about you." I admitted and I felt her smile against my shoulder.

"I think she's amazing Momma, I don't feel anything but happiness she's in my life again." Fleur confessed filling my heart with warmth at the knowledge Bo was forgiven in her eyes.

"You have to tell her that sometime then." I admitted and she nodded before looking into my eyes.

"Will you tell me now why we left Bo alone for so long?" the question pained me but I had always strived to treat Fleur like the adult she would someday become. I took a deep sigh and nodded slightly. "I will tell you what I can but first let me examine you ok?"

The small girl nodded her permission and I got to work. Her lungs felt strong as she breathed in and out, her pupils were normal for the amount of medicine still in her system but she looked good. Her nails and tongue had a good colour and her ears and equilibrium seemed to be fine. I took a couple of X-Rays and wheeled her down the hall to take a CT Scan to be on the safe side. When it was all said and done it had been an hour and if the serum didn't work she would've reacted by now.

I wheeled her back into the room after I had helped her change into normal clothes. She had a pair of spider-man pajama pants and a Back to the Future shirt. I had raised a geek like me it seemed. As I propped the bed for her and she browsed channels she spoke up again.

"When will we talk?" she asked quietly and I took a deep sigh.

"Now if you wish." I had put this off for far too long.

"I want to know, what happened that day we left Bo… she seems different now, somehow sadder yet happier, it's very hard to explain but I know you see it too. I'm not a baby anymore and if I can help her feel happy I want to." She explained and I smiled. She had a huge heart like Bo did.

"There are things about Bo I cannot divulge, things she will have to tell you herself. What I can tell you is that the day I went to get you Bo was not in a good mental place." I saw her lip quiver slightly as she looked up at me with the question in her eyes.

"Was it because of me?"

"Sometimes, when we do things in the past we think they will stay there and we don't prepare for a scenario that goes past that. Let's just say Bo was already in that state of mind, but your presence surprised her that's for sure." I explained gently as I saw her mull it over.

"She looked guilty… does she feel like that because she left me?" she asked intuitively as I nodded.

"After a rough patch, Bo was able to solve a lot of her issues and be in a healthier place in her head. When I realized she was healthier I made contact with her to come see you. I… I know you might be mad I kept her from you… I just…" I trailed off feeling like the biggest asshole now.

"It's ok Momma you didn't want me getting hurt." She whispered gently as she held my hand and I smiled. "I like Bo very much Momma."

"I do too Fleur, very very much." I admitted as she nodded.

"You know, sometimes I feel like I have two Mama's but one of them just doesn't realize she's my Mama." I laughed at her description and nodded fondly.

"Give her some time Fleur, she'll realize she's your Mama soon enough."

Before either of us could say anything else the doors of the lab swung open and Bo crossed the threshold. I heard Fleur give out a small squeal as I chuckled. As soon as Bo's eyes fell on me her face lit up like a child in a candy store. I couldn't help but blush at her beauty. Her jeans hugged her every curve as her long sleeve sported a deep V neck making my throat dry at the sight. She was stunning every second of the day and I couldn't help but stare. I crossed the few steps between us as my excitement grew, I needed to get a hold of myself before I kissed her right here in front of Fleur.

"Bo! You're here!" I breathed and she chuckled.

"Indeed I am."

"Fleur has been asking about you, I was about to call you actually." I explained as I hear Fleur arguing with the TV.

"She sounds better" Bo sounded hopeful and so was I.

"She is. I was able to develop a treatment so I deemed it safe to wake her up." Now I wished I had called Bo to be here when she woke up as well.

"Oh my God!" Before I knew it she had thrown her arms around me hugging me tightly as I inhaled her earthy scent. "Thank you Lauren."

I reveled in her touch a few seconds more. I wanted nothing but to stay in her arms and melt away in happiness at the fact that Fleur was indeed awake now. I felt like a superhero but deep down I knew I had a long way to go and this had been only the beginning.

"Hold your horses Bo." I started as I regretfully pulled away from her.

"A treatment is not a cure, it buys us time but it doesn't solve the problem. She can come home and be a normal kid in the meantime but I have a lot of work ahead of me." She nodded understanding and I thanked heavens for such an understanding woman.

I tugged on some paperwork as I saw Bo glance at Fleur before returning her gaze to me. Here it was, the ax falling and severing my dreams. She probably wanted to talk about the kiss, about how she didn't feel the same. Or maybe she wasn't ready but I knew in some way or another I knew I shouldn't have kissed her and stepped over her boundaries. I waited patiently until she spoke and with another heartbeat she did.

"I… I wanted to talk to you about the kiss." I frowned in disappointment but tried to mask it I didn't want her feeling obligated in any way of form.

"Oh."

"It's nothing bad, and I don't regret it so please don't take this badly…" relief flooded me after those words and I was able to focus on the rest of her sentence. "I just would like to keep that side of our friendship from Fleur for now. I don't… I don't know what will happen and I just want to make sure Fleur's not gonna get hurt."

"I understand." I looked at her in the eye amazed at her selflessness before Fleur's voice filled my ears.

"Momma can we go to the game on Sunday?" I was about to answer before her yelp of joy was heard throughout the lab. "BO!"

"Hey kid! I hate to break it to you, but you missed that game." Bo spoke to her as she walked in.

I busied myself grabbing a few files and folders wanting to cross my T's and dot my I's with Fleur's new treatment. I wanted to deserve that gratitude Bo was giving me and the only way to do that was by curing Fleur.

"How are you feeling?" I heard Bo ask as I walked in the room looking at them interact.

"Like I can do a hockey game and two marathons… and oh my god you gave me cupcakes!" Fleur giggled and stretched her arms so that Bo would hug her.

I watched as Bo enveloped her in her strong arms like she had done for me last night. She smiled as she breathed her in and kissed her hair. I could see the relief in her face as the younger brunette was oblivious to it all. Bo was Fleur's mother whether she could accept it yet or not.

Fleur looked happy to be hugging Bo in such a moment. I knew our conversation weighed on her heavily and I almost regretted talking to her about it. I knew I wanted to stay true to her upbringing and intellect and I could only do that with the truth. I wanted Fleur to understand that Bo had made a choice and sometimes those choices are made to prevent a set of consequences.

I was happy to know that Bo would be living closer, that these two could only grow closer now. I knew Bo would never leave her side and I also knew Fleur had waited for this far too long to let it go now. I was hopeful and excited to see them grow closer, the initial jealousy of Bo being in Fleur's life now completely gone. I cleared my throat and spoke up not wanting to waste another second.

"Did you know Bo has a new house?" Fleur's face dropped, she loved Bo's place and would rave about it constantly.

"I liked the old house, it had character! What happened!?" Her whine masked her temper and I realized that Bo must have a hot head at times if this girl could be so passionate about things.

"Well it wasn't in Toronto and the new house is." Bo answered as Fleur sat there stumped.

"Oh my God! Mom do you hear this?" Fleur was so excited as she turned to me.

"I do. Have you had a chance to see your new place yet Bo?" I asked as I caught how her eyes made contact with mine searing my soul.

"Yeah I did, Ryan actually bought the house behind your own" I was surprised to say the least.

"I thought the Thompsons were asking for an overly ridiculous amount of money for that!" I gasped knowing they had been convinced by a phoney real estate agent that the house was worth triple of what they wanted.

"Ryan doesn't care, he'll spare the money." Her smile was contagious and I returned it blushing.

"So that means I'll get to see you a lot more." Fleur broke our contact with her excitement.

"I think that's what she's trying to tell you Fleur" I laughed vigorously not feeling the weight that had been on me for months.

Reality was I had started to see different and positive results in Fleur's new treatment. Invisible to the untrained eye and for someone who hadn't spent every waking moment overanalyzing the situation, I caught things I knew no one could. I observed everything from her movements, to her speech, to her reaction times, her abilities to move and talk… I wanted to be certain we were on the right track and so far it seemed we were. After much deliberation Bo spoke up with a smile drawing my attention to the beautiful woman.

"I would like that yes, Ryan reserved you a room in our house in case you'd like to join us for a sleep over sometime." She confessed as Fleur's excitement hit the roof.

"Uncle Ryan is here!?" the small girl practically screamed as I laughed.

"Yeah he and Kenzie are tidying the house right now." Bo mentioned as the small girl clapped her hands in delight.

"Oh I missed Uncle Ryan and Kenzie, Mom when can I go see them!?" she asked eagerly.

"Well now, I'm sure Bo and her roommates want some time to tidy up and get settled Fleur." I tried to settle her down.

Fleur still needed to learn there was a certain healthy pace of interactions we could have with Bo. I was hyperaware of the fact that I had to be conscious of my actions around the woman for the sake of her recovery. Fleur being the excited little girl she was had no concept of the internal turmoil her other mother was facing.

"Oh, it's no issue at all! Her room is all set up and we only have some boxes to unpack, the rest is taken care of. If it's alright for her health and you're ok with it she can come any time." Bo quickly admitted making my heart pound with emotion.

"Momma can we go now, pleeeeease." Fleur pleaded and it was now that I could see she was virtually identical to Bo when she begged. I rolled my eyes and turned to Bo.

"This… this is your fault. How can I say no to a face as beautiful as that?" I countered as Bo blushed.

I wanted her to know I was completely in love with my child now even more. The fact that I could blatantly see Bo in her face was like going full circle and I knew it was just a blessing in disguise. I for a moment thought of a scenario where Bo and I willingly from the beginning of her life had Fleur consciously.

"I feel myself melt already. That power of persuasion is all you though" Bo laughed snapping me out of my fantasy as Fleur held her head proudly up.

"So I can sleep over at Bo's?" I chuckled at her question.

"Well, it seems so." I answered looking at Bo.

"YESSS!" was heard throughout the room from Fleur.

"However if it's ok with her I'd like to drop in at times to check on you. I still need to monitor you." I reminded my small girl.

I loved how she came to life with Bo, all her inhibitions aside just her and her excitement. I liked how Bo brought Fleur out of her shell in a way I could never do and I knew this was the right thing, Bo being in Fleur's life was and forever would be monumental and I only lamented not being able to do this sooner.

"Would you like to join our slumber party then?" Bo asked catching me by surprise.

"I…um…" I stammered as I gave her an unguarded smile and she blushed.

"Come on Momma it'll be fun… Do I need PT again?" Fleur changed tone rapidly and I wanted to assure her there was nothing to worry about.

I shook my head before explaining "Not this time, you were out for only countable hours."

First time in an induced coma we had to rehabilitate her muscles for a month before she was back on the ice again. She was a sport through it all, yet I didn't want to have to do it again, which was why I wanted to be sure of the final combination going into her body.

"So I'm all good?" Fleur asked me as I nodded reassuringly and she hopped off the bed started picking up her stuff.

I turned towards the door ready to continue my work now that I knew Bo would have Fleur safe and sound. I would come check on her in a few hours' time and maybe watch a movie or two. I wanted them to have their time with one another without me hovering over them constantly. I owed Bo some form of apology for taking this long to let her into Fleur's life.

"I just have to finish up some of these files and reports. I'm behind since Tamsin's playing hooky. Maybe I should catch up with you guys later." I admitted as I set to work on my papers.

Before long Bo's hand was on my shoulder gently and soothingly. I looked up at her and into her eyes which held my own in a soft glance. Her brows furrowed upwards in kindness and I felt my heart fall even more for the woman who was slowly capturing my heart. I tucked a rogue strand of hair behind my ear to calm my racing heart and blushed looking away from her intense eyes before I did something not at her pace.

"It's time to put down the files for now and spend some time with our daughter." Her voice was so gentle and soft it touched my soul completely.

I was staggering at the fact that she had called her **our** daughter before she softly added a _'please'_. The smile that crossed my lips made me feel like my heart was going to explode. She gently squeezed my shoulder as I saw Fleur join her and grab her free hand. I could feel my heart swell at the sight.

"You're our ride back Doctor." Bo insisted as I bit my lip turning to Fleur.

"I don't want to rain on your parade, doing cool things with Bo."

"Not a chance Momma, aren't you the epitome of cool?" she teased as I laughed.

"Are you quoting me now young lady?" I teasingly asked as my young girl giggled.

"Mayyyybe." She teased as we chuckled.

"You're something else kid." Bo pulled her into a half hug while I tried to put some papers in my bag on the down low.

"So… no more work for now right?" I turned and gave her the puppy eyes Fleur had taught me.

"…but Bo!" I protested as her eyes held mine with mirth.

"Nope!" Bo mentioned firmly. "Not buts or butts!"

Fleur of course giggled and I held Bo's eyes with a fond look. She brought joy to my child, that energy I missed around the house and in my heart.

"Fine, fine… no buts then." I finally gave in as they high fived as I dramatically took my papers out of my bag.

"Cooooooooomeeeeee on Mooooommmm" Fleur groaned dramatically as Bo and I chuckled at her antics. "I'm starving!"

"Oh! Watch this…" Bo was equally excited as Fleur now and I grew worried of what was to come out of this as she dialed her phone and put it on speaker.

"Hello Duck-butt! My meeting went great! Have you been getting Doctor McSteamy?" Ryan's voice came through loud and clear and I watched as Bo turned to me blushing as she changed the subject.

I gave her a curious look as I internalized the taunt. This meant Bo had been talking about me to Kenzie and Ryan, about us kissing…and maybe who knew if she actually _**felt**_ something for me in the grander scale of things.

As I watched my daughter blackmail her 'Uncle' Ryan for some food I felt myself grow happier that things had turned the way they did. I by no means was happy about Bo's relapse or Fleur's illness but in the bigger picture I saw that things had turned out for the better this way. After Bo's relapse she seemed healthier, stronger and more determined to be Fleur's mother. Fleur's illness had just knitted us together, no longer strangers we were a little misfit family and I grew happier. I had never had a family before and this felt so right.

We made our way to the car. Fleur insisted that Bo rode in the front since she wanted to do her homework and catch up on her school work. I encouraged her of course but I kept an eye on her through the rear view mirror so that she wouldn't overwork herself. I wanted to reach out and hold Bo's hand. This felt so good and normal that I wanted to do it more often. Just drive around with my two favourite ladies as we enjoyed our day.

I let my mind wonder again to that place where Bo and I were **something more** and life was simple. She would probably still have a successful sports career, I would've probably with her support been a researcher all along and together we would've raised Fleur surrounded by our love for one another and for our baby. I imagined how beautiful Bo must've looked while expecting, her beautiful round belly as I would curl up to it and talk. I sighed wanting and craving it so much. A do-over for Bo's soul would wash mine anew.

As if on cue I heard her sigh dejectedly and by the glance in her direction and the expression in her face I realized she was in a bad place mentally at the moment. I looked through the mirror to make sure Fleur was engrossed in her work before reaching out and grabbing Bo's hand on my own. I didn't know how much she wanted to keep from Fleur but I wanted to comfort her as well. She wasn't alone anymore and I wouldn't let her fight these demons by herself.

"Momma I need to stop at the house and grab stuff." Fleur declared from the back interrupting my thoughts.

"But we're going to be right there Fleur." I laughed at her antics squeezing Bo's hand caringly.

"I know." And that was the end of that by Fleur's standards.

"I guess that settles it." I declared driving around to where she wanted to go.

"You have five minutes and then Bo and I leave without you, and may or may not be at the house when you get there." I warned knowing the girl.

"No fair" Fleur declared but she was gone in a flash.

"We're in trouble with that one Bo. She reminds me of someone." I mentioned as I looked at Bo gently craving to touch her beautiful face.

"You and that kid…" she sighed happily and I couldn't help the flip my heart did at the sight.

"I've been wanting to kiss you all day." I boldly declared as she blushed deeply and bit her lip.

"I…" she stammered and I admonished myself for not going at her pace.

As if unfrozen from her spot Bo lunged at me decisively as she captured my lips in her own. I melted into her touch, her lips, her scent. My hands tangled in the collar of her leather jacket as I pulled her towards me needing more of her. It was as if my sanity escaped with the whimper I felt when she pushed her lips against mine more firmly. She grabbed my bottom lip between her own as she tugged lightly and sucked fervently as I gasped and pulled her almost atop my lap. She froze in my arms and pulled back after a flinch. I screamed at myself internally and started my apology deeply embarrassed at my lack of self-control.

"Oh God Bo I'm so sorry." I was panting between my apologies as her laughter filled the car leaving me confused.

"I got stabbed in the ass by your car" she pouted in the most adorable way and I felt the laughter grow from my stomach as I laughed with all I had.

I heard as Fleur walked into the car again, changed into her PJ's and a small backpack on her back.

"What's so funny?" she asked curiously as she got in.

With that Bo gave me a mischievous guilty look that melted my whole heart and I busted out laughing once more right along with her. As I saw her head thrown back in happiness I stared mesmerized wanting and hoping to start anew with this woman and make her this happy constantly.


	11. Chapter 11

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER GETS HEAVY.**

 **Hello everybody! Thanks for the lovely reviews. I want to let you all know that I have a twitter you guys can follow me on where I will give updates on updates, do polls, previews of chapters and random other stuff.**

 **last_dragomir**

 **I hope you all enjoy this chapter and remember to leave me a quick line or two to say how you liked it! PS: Wife SuccubusShinobi is my beta and had to read this behemoth before I could post. Much love to her, she was feeling the pressure!**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 11:**

Once we got to Bo's house everything was chaos. Ryan had ran to the car to get Fleur out as Kenzie laughed from the front door as he raised Fleur on his shoulders. I laughed out loud at how fleur threw her head back laughing and covered Ryan's eyes playfully. Fleur was now at that awkward stage where she wasn't quite a child yet she wasn't a teenager either so not many people knew how to act around her. The fact that Ryan had so carelessly tossed her around and she let him said she wanted to be babied by the bunch.

After they went inside I couldn't take my eyes off of Bo. She was smiling much more than usual and I wanted to keep her there. It was already dusk and the lighting from the horizon made her look unbelievably gorgeous. Her long brunette hair fell around her shoulder in waves as a small pin held it back from her forehead. She had simple eyeliner on and when she looked back to make sure I was following her into the house I felt my heart falter.

I watched as Bo and Ryan took turns wrestling with Fleur on the floor in the living room before the ladies turned on Ryan. I had actually encouraged it in hopes I could check Fleur's vitals afterwards. However the way her laughter ran through the house with the screams of mercy as Bo tickled her with expert fingers filled my heavy heart with any doubts that the serum had work.

Ryan and I had settled in the kitchen to get dinner ready after I had eventually examined Fleur with no problems. He was tired of roughhousing with Fleur but Bo seemed to have unending energy. I was lost watching as Bo swung Fleur over her shoulders like a sack of potatoes and ran down the hall, both of them giggling uncontrollably. Moments later I heard Kenzie and Fleur bickering about nail polish. I let out a small sigh of happiness before I heard Ryan chuckle softly behind me.

"You sound pretty smitten Doctor." His voice came through clear but hushed and I turned to face him blushing bright red.

"I…" I didn't know what to say, I didn't want to obviously lie.

"It's alright. Your secret is safe with me McSteamy." He chuckled as I handed him some cups and started taking the drinks to the dining room.

I stopped midway and retraced my steps. I liked Ryan, we had been talking physics for a while now and he was a very smart man who seemed to love the ladies in his life including Fleur. I was touched that he was the driving force behind them moving over here in such short notice. I was beginning to think that Bo was right and Ryan was some sort of guardian angel. I decided then and there that if anybody was going to be frank with me it would be Ryan.

"I'm scared Ryan." I whispered.

"Fleur's gonna be fine, you're a good Doctor from what I've heard around." He smiled at me patting my back encouragingly.

"Now that I know the serum is working properly I'm not as worried about Fleur. I have a few things on my mind I want to try and I'm sure with another Doctor who's collaborating with me and my friend we'll be able to find answers." I explained as he furrowed his brow in confusion. "I'm scared about Bo… I **really** like her Ryan and I'm scared because of that."

I was hesitant to open up to him, but I realized that Ryan and Kenzie only wanted the best for Bo. I wanted to see what he thought of this, maybe he would snap some sense into me and explain how I was playing with fire. Truth was I was scared, I was scared to hurt Bo yet like a moth to a flame I couldn't pull away and only get closer.

"Listen Lauren, I know that the way we all came into your life was a bit rough and tumble. I also know that Kenzie scared the fuck out of you when Bo relapsed blaming it on you. Truth was that incident changed us all, even you and I can see that." He held my hands gently and I felt comforted, I thought this was probably how having an older brother was like.

"It did. I'll never be the same… the way she looked at me is still burned in my soul." I closed my eyes trying to shake off the image I carried with me daily.

"I know it's hard. That day will be with me forever as well but if we live in fear that it'll happen again it won't be fair to Bo." He searched my eyes and smiled as I nodded. "I know you must feel very lost trying to make things work with Bo, but I want you to remember something anytime it gets too rough."

"What is that?" I asked in a hushed whisper analyzing everything he was saying to me.

"I've never seen Bo as happy as I've seen her today when you guys got home with Fleur. You make my girl happy and even though she doesn't talk about it much, I don't think she's had much happiness in her life." He explained warming my heart.

"What if I trigger her again?" I asked in fear but he gave me a grin and kissed my cheek gently before walking past me to lead us into the dining room. He looked back at me before continuing and I internalized his words.

"Kenzie was unfair to blame you for that relapse Lauren. Yeah you were a mega bitch when you guys met, but to blame you is unfair. Bo was never in a good headspace before now and **that's** why she relapsed." He held my eyes before a huge smile spread across his face. "Be a lady and be careful, but let go Lauren, enjoy your child and the woman who gave you that child."

With that he disappeared into the dining room calling everyone to the table. I stood there soaking in his words. I knew for a while that Kenzie had accused me in a heat of anger and hurt over her best friend. I couldn't shake the feeling within me that if I had been more compassionate over the situation I could've perhaps seen that Bo needed help. Ryan was right, I wasn't to blame for the relapse but I still felt I could've and should've prevented it. I was a doctor and I couldn't cure my child, couldn't help Bo properly.

Kenzie walked into the room and saw me standing in the middle of it, a coke in my hand as I looked up at her surprised to be caught in such deep thought. She gave me a smirk and shoved me slightly with her manicured finger while walking past me towards the fridge and grabbing a small metal flask. My eyes widened in worry and she caught my look.

"It's alright Doc, it's not what you think it is." She chuckled but then her eyes met mine and her smile fell.

I looked away almost wanting to go home. I felt so vulnerable after the talk with Ryan that I almost regretted bringing it up. I knew I couldn't leave now, it would bring up many protests and questions from Fleur and Bo alike. I sighed deeply and Kenzie closed the space between us.

"What's wrong Hotpants?" she asked as I raised my eyebrows with a small smile at the nickname.

"I'm just thinking a lot." I confessed not really wanting to delve into the dark conversation yet again.

"I bet it's about wondersnatch over there." She pointed at Bo in the distance as I choked a snort at her nicknames. "Don't be too hard on yourself, the girl has had it rough but I see her smiling more often. You're still on probation, but so far you're passing."

She gave me a wink and I chuckled feeling lighter from her words. Kenzie was a character hands down and even though she had been harsh on me before I didn't hold it against her. She was only protecting her friend.

"Thanks Kenzie, I'd like to pass." I confessed.

"That's good. That kid makes Bo happy but so do you Doc, you should hang out more often, I like this." She said signaling at all of us and I laughed.

With that it was as if the heaviness in my soul had cleared a bit and I was able to follow her into the dining room. Kenzie was something else, but she was if nothing, a caring soul. When we got to the table I sat between Bo and Fleur as the younger one gave me a smile and beckoned me into a hug. I hugged her tightly breathing her in as I saw Bo watching us with a small smile. I could tell she was relishing this moment and I was glad to be part of it.

Ryan said some things as a thanks for the food we had on the table. It was simple but I could tell they had done it multiple times and Fleur and I joined in as I held Bo's hand in the process. It was cute and to the point not really all that religious, yet so positive and thoughtful I appreciated it. As he motioned for us to dig in I made up Fleur's plate quickly knowing exactly how she liked things. As I gave it to her I noticed Bo was busy serving her some coke so without a second thought I busied myself with a plate for her as well.

I liked doing things for Bo, helping her soothed my soul in a way I couldn't describe. It wasn't out of pity, but something stronger and deeper that I couldn't quite place neither did I want to right now. After we enjoyed dinner Ryan insisted on giving Fleur a tour of the house and I chuckled at his antics. Kenzie followed along and engaged our tiny human as Fleur's eyes shone with excitement and curiosity. I started picking up the table with Bo as she gave me a small smile. I stacked the plates together and took them into the kitchen following the gorgeous woman.

I went back and forth a couple of times between the dining room and the kitchen until everything was cleared away. The last time I came into the room I noticed Bo gripping the sink so tightly her knuckles were white. Her body was completely tensed up and her head was down in what look to be defeat. She broke my heart at the sight and I wanted nothing but to take her sadness away.

Against my better judgement I walked behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist from the back as I laid my head on her shoulder. It was a very intimate gesture that I was unsure she was ready for but I felt like this is what she needed. I felt her relax in my arms and she let out a sigh and she leaned into me a bit.

"I don't want you thinking about whatever it is you're thinking Bo." I kissed her ear softly before taking a spot beside her at the sink as she busied herself. "Think of other things like how happy your daughter is today… how happy I am today… we made a big breakthrough with Fleur's case Bo."

"Are you happy Lauren? Even though I'm in your life now?" Her voice broke my heart and even though I had been in a tight spot earlier with my guilt, I was overall happy being here with them.

I could tell behind her façade that she thought she wasn't good enough for me. There could be nothing further from the truth though and I needed her to know that. I was happy to have her in my life and these feelings she had brought with her were new and exciting. Was I scared to hurt her in the end? Yes. However I knew it was just as Ryan had said Bo and I needed to give ourselves a fair chance.

"I'm happy **because** you're in our life Bo. You make my daughter happy and therefore myself. You've been there in times when I've needed you the most." I admitted and held her eyes with my own as emotion overcame my voice.

She nodded and I saw her move ever so slightly in what I could hope was to touch or kiss me. I wanted to feel her close and receive that comfort and peace she could bring to my mind. I had been stressed at work lately with how Tamsin kept insisting and I just needed **this**. Fleur's voice broke our moment as I heard her yelling loud and clear through the house, disbelief in her tone.

"OH MY GOD YOU GUYS HAVE TO SEE MY ROOM!" Bo and I shared a look and laughed at our child's enthusiasm.

I had taken a bathroom break from the movie marathon we were having. Reality was that I needed a minute to collect myself or maybe half an hour or a whole day. We had made a blanket bed on the floor of the living room. This was Fleur's thing, she loved watching movies this way and it was probably my fault. Fleur had ended up tangled up with Kenzie as Ryan lounged on the couch but at some point Bo and I had drawn closer to each other slowly. At first it was just our shoulders touching as she looked at me nervous with a smile. I blushed like a teenager on my first date when she held my hand and started playing with my fingers. She had initiated the contact and not for comfort or support. By the time the middle of the movie had rolled around my heart was hammering in my chest when we had stared at each other for minutes on end intensely as she kept licking her lips sporting a small smirk.

After splashing water on my face and exiting the bathroom I walked down the hallway until I found a door with a sign on it that read 'Fleur's Millennium Falcon'. I smiled at Ryan's loving thoughtfulness and leaned against the doorframe taking in all the details. He had gone above and beyond with the star wars theme and although it looked geeky it didn't look cheesy or overboard. Before anything else I felt arms wrap around my waist and I instantly recognized Bo's scent, even more so than the shirt I had borrowed from her. I placed my hands over hers since she seemed unsure and I let her warmth engulf me. This was dong no favours for my libido as I could feel her body pressed against mine perfectly. In a noble world I wouldn't even been thinking of this, yet I was human and I had a pull towards Bo I couldn't deny. The attraction was very strong and feeling her pressed against me awakened things I hadn't felt in a long time. I sighed to clear my mind and spoke up.

"This is beautiful Bo. Ryan went above and beyond for Fleur." I whispered.

"He's a very good man, my guardian angel." She spoke up as I turned to her suddenly remembering something.

"He called me Doctor McSteamy." I had decided to tease her and flirt a little to see where it got me.

"I…" she chuckled blushing "Maybe"

"I think maybe is quite a yes." I giggled.

Before I knew it her soft lips were pressed against mine as my eyes fluttered closed. I wrapped my arms around her neck as she grabbed me by the waist sending my heart into a gallop. Her lips picked up a faster rhythm than we were used to and my body caught ablaze. I pushed back gently wanting to convey it was ok to let go with me. I was rewarded with her running her tongue along my bottom lip and I could not stop a moan from escaping. It was warm and silky as it battled my own and it was her time to let out a hearty moan as my knees weakened at the sound.

"Bo!" We pulled apart like cats running from water at the firm tone and I leaned my head in the doorway panting from the intensity of the moment.

I soon busted out laughing as all I heard from Bo was "Fucking… fuck, shit cocksucker!"

"I can see you're eloquent as ever!" Ryan laughed. "I didn't mean to interrupt but uh…"

I realized what he was insinuating and I kicked myself mentally. I knew I had lost some control back there with Bo and that wasn't all too good. I didn't want that to become a habit I needed to think of Bo here. Yet I knew it was a moot point, I was putty in her hands now that she had given me a taste of her gloriousness. Bo gave him a glare as he raised his arms in defense.

"Alright, alright but the kiddo was about to come looking for you two, just be glad it was me." He smiled before turning around and leaving.

I laughed because I felt it building in my throat as I remembered Bo's eloquent reaction. It seemed she had a temper about her and I honestly found it quite endearing for a reporter.

"I was right, that's quite a temper." I pointed out with a rueful smile.

"What can I say… I hate being interrupted." She teased with a flirtatious tone and I raised an eyebrow enjoying this newfound confidence.

"Ditto." I breathed taking a chance and pecking her lips one last amazing time. "I was really enjoying that moment." And with that I walked into the living room knowing she was close on my tail.

We ended up watching some sort of ninja Japanese cartoon in her room after everyone had gone to bed. I had examined Fleur once more and confirmed she was responding well to treatment. Bo's bed was humongous and Fleur ended up curled between us as she watched intently. She had insisted I couldn't go home since it was a sleep over. She wanted me to stay in her room since she wanted to sleep with Bo anyways. I couldn't stop taking glances at the older brunette feeling absolutely happy after the moment we had shared. I had to be careful, but this seemed to be acceptable.

After a while I noticed they had both fallen asleep. I didn't want to fall asleep in here with them since it was a close moment between them. They needed to bond without me as well and I wanted to make sure I wasn't overstepping Bo's toes as a mother just because I was completely smitten by her. I gently tucked them both in and kissed Fleur's forehead. She looked completely and utterly happy with her gangly arms wrapping around her mother. I smiled seeing how Bo had her pulled close to her chest. After giving the child a look to make sure she was deep asleep I leaned over and softly kissed Bo's forehead as well as I brushed some hair off her forehead. They looked so peaceful tangled in one another. I could see Bo's features in Fleur's face as they both held the same expression. I felt like my heart would burst from the love I felt in it and right then in that very moment I **knew** I loved the older woman as well. I rushed to Fleur's room with my heart hammering from the realization before falling into a dreamless slumber.

When I exited the bathroom in the morning I had all the intentions of escaping to the house and letting Bo and Fleur enjoy their day together. That was all gone from my mind once I saw the beautiful brunette walking on long slender legs towards me. Her hair was messy yet beautifully framing her face. Her eyes were full of energy and life even though her smile was slow. As she padded over to me my breath caught in my throat, even in a football jersey and shorts she looked amazing. Her eyes met the floor after meeting mine and she blushed before I spoke.

"Good morning Bo." I whispered shyly.

"Good morning." she smiled "I hope you slept well."

"I did, Fleur's bed is very comfortable." I offered as she gave me a brighter smile and my heart fluttered.

"Do you think I could use your gym in the mornings? I don't know if this is too forwar-"

"Not at all! I'm heading home right now would you like me to wait for you? Fleur will be out probably until the afternoon." I knew I sounded eager but I didn't care.

"If you don't mind waiting, I'd like that." She added before disappearing behind the door.

As we made our way through the back yard I enjoyed the morning heat on my back. The air was doing me good and distracting me from Bo's scent which now made me want to kiss her even more. I was torn because I knew things had to go slow, yet I craved to feel her lips against mine like last night. I knew I was being selfish which is why I had to control myself but Bo was something that was keeping my mind engaged. After we entered the house she gave me a boyish smile and I couldn't help but notice how good she looked in her workout clothes and her hair pulled back in a high pony tail. I had to get away from her for a second, I couldn't stop thinking about the realization I had made last night and it terrified me.

"You know where things are, as always make yourself at home, I'm going to shower and get ready for my day." I commented and with that I was in my room.

I closed the door behind me and leaned against it with a shaky breath. I turned on my music and immersed myself in my morning routine. As I hopped in the shower letting the warm water cascade on me last night's scene played in my head one more time. I wasn't ready to love Bo yet here it was hitting me in the face with such a force that it was crippling. I sighed as I leaned against the bathroom wall knowing I could not deny it to myself any longer. Bo had reached out and touched my heart in way that I didn't think possible and last night the mother in me seeing her with fleur just completely and utterly surrendered.

I heard the door to my room click shut as I was getting dressed and I tensed. I didn't know if it was Bo, but if it was I needed to steel myself and be ready to be in close quarters with her. I heard a small huffed groan and I knew it was my Flower. I came out of my walk-in closet to find her sprawled over in my duvet as many blankets lay atop her. I could see some grass sticking to her blankets and I knew she had wrapped herself in these and crossed the yard. I rolled my eyes at her and smiled warmly with renewed hope I'd see her become a teenager and an adult.

"Good morning, we weren't expecting you up yet." I chuckled.

"Well, when you wake up by yourself…" she whined and I shook my head knowing full well what she was doing.

"Oh I see someone's grumpy. I still have to examine you before I go to work." I advised and she just stared at me. I knew she was not a morning creature hands down.

After I had checked her I rushed around to make sure I examined her thoroughly before I could go to work. I left her draped on the couch as I assured her I'd get Bo for her.

After seeing Bo in the gym and rehydrating her I guided her to Fleur and left quickly for work. I sat in my car for minutes before pulling out of the driveway. Bo had looked so amazing when I came downstairs my throat had gone dry and my palms ran sweaty. She was shirtless again, a small sports bra covering her, yet I could see the toned muscles of her abdominals, her obliques deliciously covered in sweat. I had practically ran away from the room trying to keep myself together.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

The last few days it had been like this. I would wake up and put coffee on with the soft hum of the treadmill going on from the open basement door. I would wake Fleur up and she would start getting ready while I made breakfast. Once everything was almost done I'd leave it hot and go get ready. I could always hear Bo hitting the punching bag while I would go to my room for a quick shower as I threw my clothes on making myself look as nice as I could.

Bo would most of the time forget she didn't have a shirt until she got to the table so Fleur had made it a habit to bring a shirt for Bo. I thought they were the cutest thing together and it filled my heart to see them growing so close. I had grown used to having the older brunette around and with her starting work we had fallen into an easy routine. I kept getting tortured by Bo's toned body walking around the house and she seemed oblivious to it as she gave me small touches and held my hand here and there when Fleur was oblivious. With all the commotion we hadn't had a single second alone and I longed to kiss her lips once more.

The lab was a welcomed distraction until it wasn't. I had spent all day in conference calls with Dr. Reid and Dr. Wilson trying to come up with a cure with the new notes Tamsin had left for me in my inbox, still missing in action. I was worried, Tamsin kept pushing for Fleur's father and I kept pulling away knowing there had to be a better way. Truth was, I was double checking the facts myself and it looked like it was pointing in that direction.

By the time Tamsin walked in I almost didn't believe it. She had been absent for a while and it looked surreal seeing her walk in. She looked off, disheveled and I couldn't place where I had seen the look in her eyes before. She didn't look like herself and I wanted to reach out and talk to her about it. The glare she sent my way made it clear she still wasn't open to my apologies or rebuttals of the incident. I sighed and looked down finishing my paperwork. I wanted to get home and see Fleur and Bo.

After a few tense minutes I decided to break the silence. I found this ridiculous, we were both adults and something was clearly wrong with the woman. I got up from my chair approaching her desk. I fiddled with my lab coat as I grew nearer and she didn't even glance up. Her blonde hair was a mess, her lab coat was wrinkled as if she had pulled it out of a bottle and her skin looked pale and clammy.

"Tams, are you ok?" I asked worriedly and she gritted her teeth.

"I'm here, you can go home now." She gruffed without giving me a look. When I hesitated she insisted.

"I'm here to do my job Lauren because I love Fleur. I will stand down for now, but you **really** need to reconsider what's at stake here. Go play house, I'll be here so don't worry." Her tone was so cold and I swallowed the hurt I felt at this rift between my longest friend and I.

Before my tears fell I turned on my heel and walked away anxious to get home. The whole drive home I had let my tears fall as I pondered whether to call Dyson or not. I didn't want to play it cheap and get him involved but I was so upset now. I had to remind myself that I had kind of asked for this when I slapped her. I tried to compose myself as I pulled in the driveway. I half hoped Bo and Fleur were at her house so I could go to my bedroom and cry alone.

The thought dissipated from my mind as soon as I crossed the landing and got hit by the smell of pasta. It smelled amazing and I was pretty sure there was classical music playing in the background. I put my things down now curious and when I turned to the kitchen I found Bo and Fleur throwing a massive pizza dough into the air. My chuckle got me noticed and again Bo's face lit up as it always did when she saw me. Fleur announced that they were making pizza AND pasta and just like that all my worries from the lab were forgotten. Thing was, when you forget things, people tend to remind you of them.

Bo was looking at me thoroughly amused as I confessed that I had thing for the stupid Sidney Crosby her and Fleur liked so much. We had retired to the couch and were joking with one another about crushes. Fleur had left after dinner for a sleep over she had planned with her friends. I was nervous for the time alone with Bo but we had fallen into such easy conversation and banter that I couldn't help but be at ease. I took a deep breath as conversation died down and she gave me a small shy smile. I loved seeing her so candid like this, it was a real treat when she let her guard down and just showed me how cool and down to earth she was.

She played with my hands as I smiled gently at her before I felt her lean over at the same time her hand clasped with my own intertwining our fingers. My heart hammered as her lips captured mine and involuntarily a hearty moan escaped my lips. She pulled back with a hearty laugh and before I could say anything else my phone rung. I bit my bottom lip wanting nothing but to kiss her again and say 'fuck this phone', but I couldn't. I checked the caller ID noticing it was work.

"Sorry Bo I've got to take this." She smiled and gave my hand a soft squeeze.

"It's alright I have to hit the John." She chuckled and I rolled my eyes.

I had challenged her not to call it bathroom for the night so she could practice her linguistics for work. It certainly wasn't taking the turn I thought it would but I enjoyed her comical wit. She leaned giving me a last peck on the lips before sauntering off as I drank her every move.

"Doctor." I said stupidly into the phone still mesmerized by Bo.

"It's me." I tensed hearing Tamsin's voice.

"Is something wrong?" I furrowed my brow, maybe she had found something.

"No, there's nothing wrong… Oh wait, what's this in my hand? OH YEAH, proven fact that we HAVE to get Fleur's father to complete the next stage of the cure." She replied bitterly and I sighed and threw myself deeper into the couch.

"Tamsin…"I growled in a warning tone.

"No Lauren you listen to me, I don't care how stubborn you are and how much you want to play house. Fleur needs to get better and you're getting in the way of that. It's done, I have cold hard facts. I'm gonna find him if you don't Lauren." She warned.

"Absolutely not Tamsin, I don't care what the findings say… I'm not putting Bo through that… NO! You cannot look for the Father either! I swear to you if I so much hear you did this behind my back we're done." I hushed in a panic.

"You have until the end of the week, I'm not waiting any longer than that. I could care less if we're done or not." I felt the stab at my heart as the panic settled in my mind and body.

A migraine settled into my evening after the phone call and I could tell Bo was deep in thoughts of her own. It was as if the small bubble of normalcy we had before had busted. After the show we were watching was done Bo took her cue to leave and with a small hug I let her. I was scared of looking her in the eye, of her knowing that I was about to turn her world upside down once more. So after she left I crawled up in my bed and cried myself to sleep.

In the morning I woke up and went to put coffee on knowing Fleur would be here any minute to get ready for school. The sleep over was not far away and she liked her morning routine with Bo. I noted that I couldn't hear the gym going and the door was closed. Fleur came and went with a frown that Bo was absent from the table. As I walked her to the door she insisted.

"Momma you're not listening. I think you should see Bo today." She blurted out "She loves coming to the gym and breakfast, something's wrong."

"I know." I whispered and she looked perplexed at being right. "That's why I'm going to stay behind and see if she comes by, if not I'll go see her."

She hugged me suddenly and hard as I returned it. I kissed the top of her head and she smiled looking up at me. I could tell she was relieved and I wanted to make sure she had another mom around for a very long time.

"Thank you Momma. I know Bo likes you, she told me you're pretty." I blushed and shook my head.

"Go to school, I'll see you later." I prodded and she skipped off.

It had been around an hour or two before I heard Bo going about the house silently heading straight to the gym. I let her do her circuit but stayed by the door noting she didn't sound like her usual routine. When I heard it all come to an end I heard the soft creak of the stairs and before long my heart broke at the sound of her crying. I ran before I could help myself and scooped her in my arms. She gripped to me and cried harder.

"It's alright Bo, I've got you" I whispered soothingly.

After a bit she calmed down enough to speak.

"I didn't think you'd be home." Her soft voice tugged at my soul.

"I'm glad that I was. I thought it odd you hadn't swung by and it worried me so I stayed back to catch you. I'm glad I did, it would've broken my heart to know you were by yourself feeling like this."

I let her pull away from me as she grabbed my hand and took me away. She looked deeply distraught and I wanted to do anything in my power to get her to release. I could tell there was something holding her down, heavily on her mind clouding her judgement. I was patient trying to brace myself, something was going to change today, I could feel it. She took us to my balcony through my room where we had sat a couple of nights ago with Fleur as she studied the stars. As she motioned me to sit down I frowned feeling my heart become heavy at her troubled expression. She sat close to me as she ran her hands through her hair in what I could assume was an attempt to calm down.

"I want to talk to you about my past…" she spoke and I tried to hide my surprise. "I had a dream last night and…unfortunately it took me back to the state of mind that I was in when… when I had Fleur."

"Oh Bo" my mind ran rampant scared about this sudden change.

"I thought after a good workout I'd feel better but I need to talk to someone." Our eyes met and I knew she wanted to tell **me**.

"I'm here for you Bo." I whispered.

"I know and I thank you."

"You can tell me anything Bo. I won't judge you…" I assured her hoping I could be enough to protect her heart and mine.

"I'm scared" she confessed.

"I know, but I also know I've seen you somewhat happy these past few days. I have been nothing but happy to see how you and Fleur just grow closer with each passing second. I'm not going to let you fade again Bo, so talk to me please. Trust me Bo." I begged.

"I guess that if I'm going to tell you these things I should very well start from the beginning." She looked down.

"I'm sorry if I can't word things properly… truth is my secrets are burning a hole through my heart, and my bones catch a fever…when it cuts you up this deep, it's hard to find a way to breathe…" she looked away as my heart ached for her. "I was never in a real home."

As she said it I couldn't quite believe it. It was as it we were two sides of a coin down to the very minute details. She didn't have a real home either… was this what I could've gone through had things been different?

"I assume my parents died when I was less than two but I cannot be certain. Everything from back then is very fuzzy and I cannot remember details very well but long story short I ended up in the system. I went to two good foster homes before I ended up in what I still remember as hell." I cringed not liking where this was going.

"Wow…" I whispered quietly.

"Hector and Patricia were the kind of Foster parents that would collect the kids for the paychecks. I had about eight other foster 'siblings' if you want to call it that. I was six when Gregory moved into the house. He was 11 at the time and I couldn't really put my finger on what was that even at that age I didn't like about him." I stood immediately putting my hand on her shoulder dreading where this was heading.

"The… the foster parents would use kind of a buddy system. Older kids to younger kids in an effort to ditch their own responsibilities. I was terrified of my environment at first, even though I kept thinking I'd get used to it I never really did. I would get two meals of porridge a day and would go hungry at night, as my foster parents indulged in alcohol and fine dinners and all the trimmings. One day I was so hungry that I took a piece of bread from the table. I must've been eight by then…" her voice drifted off breaking painfully and my heart raced painfully.

"Bo you don't have to…" I assured as my jaw clenched in unbelievable anger.

"I do though… I need to tell you. I'm not brave enough to face my past, it would kill me Lauren." She whispered as I pulled her closer trembling in rage.

"Then don't. I don't want you to ever have to see these animals again." She whispered in rage and I shook my head.

"You won't be saying that once you hear the whole story." I closed my eyes tightly not ready for what I was about to hear.

"My 'buddy' sibling was in charge of punishing me for stealing the bread." My head snapped towards her in fear. "It was Gregory of course."

"Hector and Patricia had taken two of the kids with them to the store, the rest were in school and in the end Gregory and I were left behind…".

"Bo…" I didn't want to listen to any more. I couldn't take much more, I wanted to grab her in my arms and weep hard.

"I have to…" I could only nod in response as I bit the inside of my cheek.

"He took me to the attic announcing he was to punish me now and made me sit on the floor…" It was a hit to the gut.

She tried to continue but she couldn't and my heart sank. I felt like I would throw up as realization hit me. My heart raced as my chest heaved up and down in a panic, my mind was going a mile a minute. I couldn't speak fast enough yet my voice shook with the horror I felt as rage built inside me.

"Bo did he…?" My jaw clenched as I waited for Bo's answer. I would find these people and I would hurt them.

She nodded as a small sob escaped her and I grabbed her tightly in my arms as she crumbled. She cried as I felt her laying her heart bare for me to see I felt my tears come down as well. I cried for her and for me and for all the ugliness the world had brought at her. I felt resentment at life that it had dealt her such an unbearable pain. No wonder she walked the life she did, her demons were astoundingly heavy.

"It went on for years after that…And last night I dreamt about it again." She admitted and I shuddered pulling her closer wanting to wash it all away.

"In my dream… time stood still the way it did before it's like I'm sleepwalking…"

"It's over now Bo… They can't hurt you. I won't let them." I assured her with fire running through me in anger and pain. _I would find them._

"I thought it was over but it's not." She pulled away meeting my eyes and searching something within them. Whatever it was she found it and therefore she continued on. I wasn't sure how much more I could take before I either went on a rampage or broke down weeping.

"I heard you talking to Tamsin last night." I was sure my horror was splashed on my face.

"Bo, I don't want you to think about that-"

"Do Fleur's chances improve if you have information about… that guy? Please I need to know the truth."

I was scared, terrified even, and didn't know what to say. I hoped that the panic didn't show in my eyes, yet my emotions were running so rampant I was sure I was wearing them on my sleeve. I knew Bo deserved the truth and I couldn't hide this from her.

"It would. I could probably cure her with his genetic information." I confessed in a low defeated voice and she looked down to the ground ashamed.

"I will never call him her Father, he doesn't deserve that." She spat suddenly angered. "He should still live in that hell-hole I crawled out of with such difficulty."

My heart dropped and for a second I thought I could not possibly be correct. I was falling into downright terror and I wanted her to stop, to not say anything else almost as if it wouldn't make it so. I didn't know if I could deal with this knowledge, with this truth.

"Gregory…" I felt numb as she uttered the name now despised with all my being.

"No Bo. It's out of the question!" I started pacing the length of the balcony in such fury it was leaving me scorched. "Not one of these people are ever going to see you or talk to you ever again! It's…it's absolute horseshit!"

I paced trying to wrap my head around the things that I was hearing, the horrors that Bo had lived. I felt like I couldn't even comprehend the spectrum of pain that Bo had repeatedly tried to escape.

"I'll come up with another way. I'll do anything to keep you away from those barbarians!" I rambled feeling the deep need to protect her.

In a second I was surprised as she crossed the distance between us. I stared at her amazed and pained that she was standing in front of me after a lifetime full of torture. I wanted to hold her and never let her go, never let anyone harm her ever again. I wanted to heal her, yet I wasn't even sure I could even begin to be enough for what she had gone through. She grabbed my leather jacket and in a second her lips crashed into mine. It was like a breath of fresh air, like a new dawn and I needed more of it, more of her. I was hyperaware that she had no shirt on and was careful to not touch her bare skin. I needed to be careful now more than even, yet the way she was kissing me was undressing me and disarming me at the same time.

Her tongue parted my lips as if she had done it a million times before. My knees grew weak when I felt her pull me closer and I whimpered pitifully as I felt her heaving chest contact mine. She groaned harshly and deepened the kiss leaving me almost in a daze. This had turned into so much more, it was as if raw passion was flowing through us connecting us now that our walls were down. I wrapped my arms around her pulling her closer and her warm skin greeted my fingers almost making me whimper again. She moaned loudly and I could feel myself moisten at the sound thankful as she pulled away immediately. My chest was heaving and I couldn't hear much past my frantic heartbeat in my ears.

"I understand." I whispered wanting her to know. "Don't be afraid, I'm still here. I won't go anywhere Bo, I'll be as careful as you need."

That was a promise I intended to keep. I was torturing myself with this desire that had grown and amplified for the woman in front of me, yet I would do anything for her. This I knew as much as I knew that I would do it for Fleur. After today there was no denying that no matter what happened Bo was etched into my very soul forever.

"I know with my past it's hard to be with me but sometimes I don't want you to be careful sometimes I just want to be normal… you make me feel…" She looked hesitant and I didn't want her to be.

"Tell me Bo, however you can, just tell me." Looking into her eyes I wanted her to know how much I cared about her. _How much I lo-._

"Your eyes are swallowing me, they're like mirrors that start to whisper where my shadows start to sing and my skin's smothering me I need you to help me find a way to breathe". She broke my thoughts as she did the best to explain in a slow whisper.

Somehow I understood what she meant, what she needed. She wanted **me** , needed **me**. In what capacity or form I didn't yet know, but I knew that whatever Bo needed I'd be there. We were now connected forever because of Fleur, but also because she had let me in her heart like this.

"I'll hold your hand and heart safely with me Bo. Thank you for letting me in." I promised.

She stepped towards me again. She looked more confident and strong in a way as if she had found some peace in letting her burden go after so many years. She challenged me with her eyes and I wanted to step up and answer her unspoken questions.

"You're like a fallen star that has left me blind." I smiled almost bitterly. "You've left me in the dark"

"I don't understand."

"Thing is Bo… with you, with how things have gone down around us it's been so difficult to make heads or tails of anything." I held her hands and looked into her eyes trying to convey everything I was feeling. "With your condition it's like there's no dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight. In the shadow of your heart"

When I saw her eyes downcast I drew a sad smile and placed my finger gently under her chin as I pulled her eyes to me again needing to make her understand.

"And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat, I tried to find the sound but then it stopped, and I was in the darkness, so darkness I became…" I slowly and nervously pushed forward and captured her soft lips in mine; she needed to know how I felt about her.

She was taken aback but her arms softly wrapped around me as I felt her melt into my arms. Her lips moved against mine soft and tender, shy and tentative. I gently set a soft rhythm as I tried to convey everything she made me feel, how she was seared into my soul now. I heard her sigh before we pulled away and as I pressed my forehead against hers holding her close I drove the point home.

"…Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too, so I stayed in the darkness with you."

"You're amazing Lauren Lewis, how was I ever this lucky?" she whispered as I chuckled softly.

"We were brought together by the one thing we loved the most." I smiled and she squeezed me as a smile broke through her lips.

"Fleur." She whispered as I nodded.

"She's the real mvp here as she would say." I rolled my eyes trying to lighten the mood and I at her giggle I lit up.

"There's my beautiful girl" I whispered as she blushed.

"You're an angel." she breathed.

"Just a scientist who will do everything in her power to protect the ones she loves." I whispered wrapping her in my leather jacket and leading her inside.

I led her to my bathroom and she looked nervous but all I wanted was for her to calm down and relax. I sat her on the toilet as I ran her a bath throwing some of my favourite aromas in lovingly preparing it with such care.

"I'm running a bath for you to relax. Just lay in here and let everything fade away Bo, when you come out I'll be in the kitchen making us breakfast. There's some of your clothes in the basket by my bed from when you came by the other night to watch TV with Fleur." I advised.

"You don't have to cook for me." She was shy and vulnerable and I wanted to reassure her.

"I want to." I admitted.

"Thank you Lauren… for everything." I could tell she meant it and my tears threatened to fall.

"Please do your best to put this situation out of your mind. Trust me, I'll find a way… you have to trust me though so don't go running off on me trying to play heroine. I know Fleur gets that impulsiveness from you missy." I tried to add lightness to the situation.

"Lauren… I have **never** told anyone what I just told you… you're the first person outside the household it happened in to know." My mind was blown at the fact I had just learned and I cherished it. "I trust you with all my heart Lauren. I have bared my heart for you, please take good care of it."

"I promise." And I meant it.

I kissed her forehead and gave her some privacy closing the door behind me. I leaned against the door as a huge sigh escaped me and I tried to keep my composure. I ran as fast as my feet took me knowing Bo would be in there for a bit. I crossed into the guest bathroom and unexpectedly made the bowl to empty my stomach. I leaned on the cold porcelain as I cried silently. I cried for me, I cried for Fleur but most of all I cried for Bo. It was then that it hit me in full force, the weight of this cosmic love I felt for the woman that had unexpectedly captured my heart.


	12. Chapter 12

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter and remember to leave me a quick line or two to say how you liked it! I took a bit longer but I'm realizing the updates are getting longer and longer. I'm increasingly happier with how the story is developing. BIG KUDOS to my wife SuccubusShinobi and my buddy Kolton Ty for being my BETAS for these two chapters. Thanks!**

 **Remember to follow me on the twitter last_dragomir**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 12:**

The whole day Bo and I just longed together and relaxed. I wanted to take her anxiety away from the earlier conversation and so far classic movies had been doing the trick. It felt good having her in my arms enveloped in her scent but the darkness of her confession tugged at my heart significantly. A little after seven Bo went home and at the pit of my stomach something told me to go to her once more and not let her go; yet I didn't. As selfish as it sounded I needed the few minutes of solitude to gather my bearings.

I woke up with a start, my window was open and from it I could hear loud music coming from the back. I threw my covers off worried instantly as I looked at the clock and noticed it was 3:30 in the morning. This was not a time for any of them to be blasting music, something was wrong. I grabbed the first piece of clothing I found in the dark by my bed and threw it on my torso before putting some running shoes on. As I hurried down the hallway I made sure Fleur was asleep. I could still hear Dyson snoring on the couch and decided to take the back door.

Coming out to the moonlit night my heart raced even faster as I glanced at Bo's balcony. The light was off but I could tell the music was coming from her room. After this morning's conversation I couldn't delay any longer. Something drove me even faster and I ran the length of our yards hopping the fence in one go as I made it straight to the back door. Thankfully it was unlocked and as I came inside I could hear Ryan banging against the door.

"Please Bo open the door what's going on?" he demanded as my heart dropped even more.

"Ryan we need to take the door down, I'm scared." I could hear Kenzie yell over the music.

"Guys what's going on?" I yelled over the music with a furrowed brow coming into the hallway where they were standing.

The look they gave me sent me into a full blown panic and I rushed past Kenzie and tried the door. Ryan shook his head as he shook the doorknob forcefully to no avail. I wasn't going to yell at her since I knew she wouldn't hear me.

"I heard her screaming horribly in the middle of the night, when I knocked on the door she turned up the music. I agree with Kenz this isn't a good sign. I'm going to break this door down, I'll go get my saw and we'll cut off the knob." Ryan explained and I shook my head.

"No, you will startle her more if she's in distress." I advised already in motion as I headed towards Ryan's room.

"What are you doing?" Kenzie asked as she followed me.

"I'm getting to Bo, she can't be alone right now. Something tells me Ryan won't help." I had a hunch, a feeling that I couldn't shake so I ran to the window and swung it open straddling it.

"Lauren you're climbing out the window." She noted and I nodded knowing I could swing to Bo's balcony from here if I was careful.

"If something happens take care of Fleur, she's in the house with my friend Dyson." I stared into her eyes as I said it with such firmness she could only nod.

I gripped the window sill carefully and swung my other leg around pushing against the wall with my toes. I gave Kenzie another look as she shook her head in disbelief before I looked towards the balcony. It was an easy three feet from me and I knew I couldn't stretch to it, I'd have to jump. My heart was hammering from the adrenaline but I couldn't waste a single second I was so scared for Bo.

I pulled my feet close to my chest and let go of the window sill with my left hand to gage the distance. It was going to be hard because I needed to propel myself sideways instead of backwards so I was glad I had put on my runners when I grabbed my shoes. I closed my eyes convincing myself that could do this and without giving it a second thought I flexed and took a cat like leap. I landed against the railing hard with my chest and a big 'oomph'. I scrambled my feet towards the railing and flung myself over falling on my back with no grace whatsoever. I took a second to regain my wind before springing to my feet while carefully trying the door and found it unlocked.

I gave a quick sigh seeing the curtains drawn, it was pitch black and cold out here but as I opened the sliding the door the coldness in the room scared me more. I opened my eyes trying to readjust them to the darkness and it broke my heart as I saw Bo curled up in a corner behind her bed with her eyes closed.

I had spent the whole day dreading this moment, this backlash, this reaction. I knew it must've not been easy for Bo to open up like she did, I knew I should've expected consequences to her opening old wounds. I felt responsible for the sudden downfall of the woman I cared about so much and it broke my heart to see her in such a crumpled state.

I kneeled in front of her as I noticed her hands shaking unmistakably with withdrawal when I reached to calm them. My heart raced as I panicked internally needed to soothe her in any way, to ground her and take these bad feelings from her soul. Her eyes opened suddenly and I could see them full of uncertainty and fear. She wasn't there, I could tell from the emptiness and coldness of her stare that my Bo was somewhere hidden far far away.

I almost cried when her lips crashed into me, it was so foreign and rough, so instinctual and primal that it shook me to my core. She wasn't **really** here and she wasn't **really** kissing me as much as she was taking from me. _It's a harder way and it's come to claim her…_ Her hands found my hips and as she pulled me against her a moan dislodged from my lips which she took as invitation. I needed to concentrate and think of a way of ending this state she was in without hurting her deeply. I knew deep down she was in a very vulnerable position no matter how aggressive her sexual advances were. It was like a flight or fight switch that had been activated in her.

My hand came up as I tried to counter her movements with gentleness. Maybe if I showed her how much I loved her she would snap out of her spell. I had to think that Bo felt something for me too, in spite of this slip, I knew she probably cared for me too. I slowed our kiss making it gentler and deeper than the physical level. I wanted to emanate the feelings that ran for Bo so deep so she could see how much I needed her to stay here with me **sober**.

She froze in my hands and with relief I realized my Bo was back, I wanted to smile or laugh to express the joy I felt for her snapping out of it but that was short lived. I saw her crumple down the wall again in a heap as she cried and sobbed with realization. She was scared, she thought she was about to hurt me but I was just glad she wasn't in the throes of darkness and self-loathing. I cupped her face pulling her up and covering her face with soft gentle kisses wanting nothing but to take her tears and pain away. My lips found her own and I kissed her softly and gently wanting nothing more than to protect her with all my might. I sighed as I felt her soft lips respond shyly against my own and in seconds her arms wrapped around me and she surrendered into my embrace. I would never forget this kiss, she was surrendering to me body, mind and soul and as I leaned my forehead against hers I knew from this moment forward that I was forever changed.

"I'm here Bo, I'll always be here when you need me." I breathed.

"I'm so terribly sorry Lauren." She choked out feeling guilty.

"There's nothing to be sorry about Bo, you were not yourself but now you are." I grabbed her hands looking into her eyes wanting her to understand that I knew what was upsetting her.

I leaned into her touch as she cupped my cheek, her eyes held mine and I tried to convey how much I understood that wasn't her back there. Suddenly her eyes flashed over with realization and she pulled back from our embrace confused.

"Oh God Lauren how did you get in here?" she asked with sudden horror as she turned on the light and I shut off the music.

I winced in pain as my chest throbbed with a forming bruise. If I had landed any harder I could've seriously hurt myself and I was glad I hadn't. In a way I felt pretty proud of myself doing something so reckless in a split second was something I hadn't had the chance of doing as a teenager.

"You're hurt." She whispered and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'm a badass, so I wince with pride right now." I smiled like a geek and rolled my eyes at my own nerdiness. "I jumped to your balcony from Ryan's window."

I remembered the adrenaline of the moment now that I could appreciate it since I knew Bo was relatively safe. Her eyes grew wide and she shook her head horrified.

"Why would you do something so stupid!" I was touched by the heavy worry in her voice and I almost laughed at her comical tone.

"Because I love you Bo…" I breathed as I wrapped my arms around her.

She pulled me at arms length searching my eyes to confirm what I had just told her. It was as if she couldn't believe it and with what I knew of her now I understood why.

"This will be my last confession Lauren…I love you has never felt like any blessing it's been whispered through my life like it's a secret, only to condemn the one who hears it with a heavy heart…. That's why I feel so heavy in your arms." She explained and noddedexpecting her to be at least a bit afraid of my confession.

"I will carry both your heart and mine Bo." I admitted with the utmost confidence that I would.

I watched as her mouth opened and closed several times as she grasped for the words to reply to me but I shook my head. I hadn't said it to hear it back but rather for her to know deep down how I really felt for her. Before she could waiver any longer I pressed my lips sweetly against her own and smiled into the kiss wanting her to relax and keep the knowledge in her heart.

"You don't need to say anything back Bo. I wanted you to know how I felt." I whispered as we pulled apart. "Let me tell Ryan and Kenzie that you're fine, that I'm fine and that we need to talk. I want to tell you something ok?"

She nodded and as much as I didn't want to leave her side I just had to tell everyone she was relatively alright. With a las parting glance I closed the door behind me and came face to face with Kenzie. Her eyes widened at the bruise forming on my chest and her hand raised up to her mouth in shock.

"Geez-wiz Doc, you could've broken your chest!" she whispered and I laughed.

"Technically it would've been more likely to crush my clavicle than my chest plate but I see what you mean." She shook her head at me and followed me as I made my way to the kitchen.

The house was completely lit up since both Ryan and Kenzie were wide alert and as we came into the kitchen I saw Dyson was sitting in the bar talking to Ryan calmly. I raised an eyebrow at him before grabbing a cup of coffee Ryan was offering me and he gave me a wince looking at my chest.

"Fuck Lewis!" Dyson spat out and I felt something cold touch my shoulder.

As I turned I saw the pea bag Kenzie was offering me and I thankfully took it. I let out a heavy sigh trying to compose myself. Even though we were in a good place now, it had been very hard for me to see Bo come completely undone. I was not scare, rather saddened that she had been pushed to a state she fell back to autopilot.

"She's feeling much better guys, I'd just give her some space for now." I sighed answering the questioning glances.

"Was it something I said?" Ryan pondered and I shook my head.

"No… it's just… Bo." I shrugged my shoulders with a small sad smile "She's just recovering from a horrible life guys."

"What about you Lauren? How are you taking all of this?" Dyson asked and I shook my head not believing what I had just done.

"I told her I loved her…" I laughed anxiously as Kenzie whistled while Ryan laughed shoving my shoulder.

"Way to go Doc!" he complimented and I gave him a side smirk.

"Well then, get back in there, I'll go back to taking care of Fleur. Come home when you know Bo is ok." Dyson suggested.

"Are you sure?" I wondered. "I know you have a lot of your plate with Tamsin and all."

"It's alright Lau, when Tamsin wants to get her shit together she knows where I am. Besides, these aren't just the neighbors, they're family… go be with your baby momma" he teased and I chuckled.

I busied myself with making Bo some chamomile tea knowing it would help her sleep. I smiled as Ryan and Dyson bantered about some girl they both knew surprisingly. Kenzie excused herself shortly before going to be and after a few minutes I waited for the water to boil. I let out a small sigh reminiscing of the last few minutes of our encounter. I hadn't meant to tell Bo I loved her, but her question sounded so silly that I knew she needed to know.

After seasoning her tea and saying goodnight to Dyson and Ryan I headed into Bo's room again. I was relieved as I heard her finish up with her therapist before I came inside. She gave me a beautiful smile before putting her phone away and I handed her the tea.

"My therapist would like for us to come over at 6:00p… I hope that's not too much trouble… I just called her and-"

"Of course it's alright, Bo. Anything you need for your recovery I'm game." I whispered and she smiled as she took a sip of her tea.

I saw her wince and kicked myself sure she had scalded herself.

"I'm sorry, I should've told you it was very hot." I lamented as she offered me a seat next to her on the bed and I joined her.

"Thank you Lauren." She whispered as she cupped my cheek and I leaned into her touch. "You make my demons disappear sometimes."

"I'm glad. I know it's hard Bo but I beg of you, let me deal with Fleur's situation, I don't want you under unnecessary stress." I pleaded.

"I want to help." she whimpered and I nodded knowing what it was like to feel that raging sense of protectiveness being a mother came with.

"And you have beautiful." I whispered tentatively and she blushed. "Now let me take the rest."

Suddenly her lips crashed against mine, it wasn't like earlier when she had been consumed by darkness. This time she was gentle and soft being careful and deliberate. I could feel her totally relaxed in my presence and that calmed my heart. I wrapped my arms around her neck and surprisingly she pushed me on my back against the bed. I held back a moan as I felt her earthy scent envelop me. This woman was just wrapping herself around my heart the same way our daughter had done.

She parted my lips and picked up a rhythm making my breath hitch and my hands tremble with fervor. I wanted Bo, I would never be able to deny that, but right now this was more than this, this was such a connection I felt to her at this moment that it was as if she was saying she loved me with every caress and breath. She let out a soft moan as I pulled her closer by her hips and I couldn't help but smile against her lips and chuckle pulling away.

"I can't believe you jumped to the balcony Doctor." Her voice was thick with desire yet I laughed remembering the leap I had taken as she buried her face on my neck.

"It was pretty crazy, I should've gotten a ladder now that I think about it." I hushed down chuckling as my arms wrapped around her.

"Would you stay with me tonight?" She whispered and I nodded.

"I will. Dyson came by earlier, he was worried about you. He's been staying in my couch since last night, so he'll take care of Fleur when she wakes up… I found out about Tamsin." I admitted feeling hurt and torn about the situation remembering when Dyson had appeared at my door.

 _Bo had left to her house since she was tired from all the stress of the day. I was ready to hit the sack after the whiskey I was drinking to calm my nerves. I was upset and torn about all that Bo had confessed to me about her past. Although I would be here for her and never hold it against her it was something very heavy that hit me in the heart. I felt Fleur hug me from behind and I turned smiling giving her a kiss in the cheek and she smiled sadly at me noticing something wasn't quite right. I tried putting her at ease with conversation._

" _How was the movie theatre with your friends?" I asked as she sat at the table with me smelling my whiskey and making a face._

" _It was good, the movie was a bore though. One of those helpless girl gets saved by handsome boy and they fall in love." She made a vomiting face that I was sure she had picked up from Kenzie._

" _I thought those are things that should appeal to teenage girls." I winked trying to give her the adult compliment._

" _Momma, I'm not going to sit there and swoon for nobody but Marc-Andre Fleury." She declared proudly as I laughed. "Did you have a hard day at work?"_

 _Her question was tentative and I frowned._

" _No, I didn't go to work." I admitted as she frowned as well. "What's wrong then?"_

" _Why would you think there's something wrong?" I tried but she shook her head._

" _You used to drink this stuff when you had a hard night on the ER" she explained and I gave her a gentle smile._

 _She was incredibly observant but her heart was as big as her mother's. I was upset that she had noticed these small details about my behaviour when I was not feeling my best. Some part of me wanted to tell her about having a hard day, about loving her mother so much my soul ached for her but I knew this was a burden no child should endure. Before I could answer the doorbell went and I went to answer it instructing her to hide the whiskey and throw away what was on my glass. The last thing I needed was to provoke Bo._

 _I opened the door and Dyson was there teary eyed. He glanced behind me and noticed Fleur staring at him with a small frown. She averted her eyes as he looked down and with a mumble she retired for bed. I let Dyson in the house and he averted his eyes as he started._

" _I left the house and wanted to see if I could stay here." He mumbled and I nodded confused._

" _Of course you can stay… what do you mean you left the house? Where's Tamsin?" I asked and he shook his head._

" _Tamsin isn't herself… she's having some issues recently…" he sighed "I can't pretend any longer that I can help her when she doesn't want the help. She's having problems with alcohol."_

I flinched at the memory as the guilt for not realizing it washed over me. I felt Bo's arms wrap around me and I sighed.

"I'm sorry for not telling you Lau, it was not my place." I shook my head.

"I don't want to talk about this right now though. I actually wanted to share something with you."

"I'm intrigued now, go on." She edged and I turned towards her.

"Well… you've shared with me so **so** much from your past that I think it's only fair I share some of mine." She shook her head slowly.

"You don't have to Lauren, that's not why I did it." She pushed and I smiled.

"But I want to Bo. You and I… we're the two sides of the same coin." I whispered.

"Only if you want." she said as she pulled her closer.

"I was too an orphan when I was young. I was probably two or so if that." I began and her face displayed the surprise there.

"I didn't have any living relatives so I was quite literally alone, like you. Difference was that there was a lawyer my parents made the will with, he was determined not to let me fall in the system so he made arrangements for my living." I explained getting lost in the moment knowing some of my past might resonate with her.

"Arrangements?" She asked and I smiled loving when she got engaged into things with me.

"Well… I had a house, I had many servants, butlers, a nanny, as many tutors as I could burn through and I had a cat at some point." I listed.

"Who took care of you?" she asked sadly.

"They did, my servants… you see my parents had a massive amount of money and it was left to me when the time came. My lawyer made sure I was properly taken care of and when I took off to college my trust fund kicked in." I explained, I knew I was being vague but I wasn't ready to delve into everything right away.

"You must've been so alone." She noted before caressing my cheek.

"I was. So to pass time I took all kinds of classes: etiquette, cooking, languages, politics, history and then one day I landed in science. I was used to just sitting in a corner and reading hours on end huge college level volumes. My tutors suggested to my guardian that I needed to go to college. He was skeptical at first since I was 16 at the time but in the end not even the best tutors had anything left for me to learn. He wanted me to take introductory courses and a year later go into med and I agreed. Medicine had intrigued me to no end." I explained chuckling as I remembered what a hard-ass Lachlan had been.

My smile was replaced by a frown as I remembered how awkward and lost I had felt in college. How close I had been to ending up in a horror story like Bo's if it wasn't for Tamsin. I sighed and continued to talk to her as I could tell it soothed her greatly.

"Nothing prepared me for college. It was very stressful. I was very socially awkward since I only spent my time with the servants." I blushed.

"You're cute" She noted and I couldn't help my smile.

"Thank you." I whispered as I played with her hair.

"You grew up so fast, at 16 and in college dealing with credits and term papers, medical school…" she observed as I nodded.

"Well, in a sense that's what drove me to adopt Fleur. I was very young still, 19 is hardly a time to have your life together but I had never been a child to begin with. I knew I was ready, I wanted to have a family and with a baby I knew I'd have that family always. I had the money and with…" the knot I felt in my throat for Tamsin was just something I wasn't ready for "…with Tamsin and Dyson to help, I knew I could do it."

"You are not responsible for Tamsin, Lauren." She tried but I knew I wasn't ready to talk about it.

"I still don't want to talk about it." I pouted as she smiled at me burying her face in my neck making me feel so incredibly blessed to have her in my arms.

"I'm so happy you found Fleur." She whispered as if reading my mind.

"I'm so happy she found _**you**_." I contested and with a smile we moved on to lighter small talk before eventually falling asleep.

I woke up tangled into Bo as I felt her warm body beneath me I looked up to Bo's beautiful face staring down at me with so much love I could barely contain it. I smiled and she brushed hair out of my face with a breath-taking smile. I could definitely get used to such a beautiful awakening.

"Good morning." I mumbled and she gently kissed my forehead. I was extremely happy for Bo's newfound confidence with physical contact.

"Good morning" she breathed.

"What time is it? I should check on Fleur." I whispered suddenly aware I had to go to work as well.

"I don't know, I passed out… Haven't slept that good in a while." I chuckled and let out a happy sigh.

"I'm glad."

"Let me take you out for dinner tonight. A date." She took me aback with the question.

It wasn't that I didn't want to go on a date with Bo, it just seemed so foreign with how everything had come about between us. It seemed mundane and domestic and that was something that neither Bo nor I was. We were both weird and clumsy when it came to social things but I knew it was also what made us bond as much because we could understand what the other was feeling. It was perhaps that connection we felt since the beginning besides the attraction, now with a name.

"A date?" I echoed as she nodded.

"I'd like you to be my first date."

The thought hit me like cold water and I was instantly awake. I had been awkward but somewhere along the line suitors had pursued me, I had casual dates here and there and it only made me feel even luckier that Lachlan had take care of me the way he had. If I had ended up in the system… well let's just say Bo's storied had just solidified the gratitude I had felt. I was beyond flattered and moved that she would want to experience such a first with me and nodded animatedly.

"I would love to." I whispered before capturing her lips with mine.

She shuddered under my touch as I took us nice and slow massaging my lips with hers in a slow beautiful dance. I heard a soft purr escape her before she parted my lips with her expert tongue dancing with my own. The electricity of the moment that ran through us was so much that I gripped the jersey she had been sleeping on and pulled her even closer to me with need. A sigh escaped me and she slowed our pace griping my hips as I felt my heart race and my mind blank under her touch. She was tantalizing all of my senses and I almost groaned at the restrain I had to convey to not push things any further with my selfishness.

"OH MY GOD!"As soon as I recognized the voice I leaped out of Bo's arms like a cat thrown in a bathtub.

I stared at the doorway as my face flushed when I saw our daughter standing there staring at us with a smile. I groaned as I covered my face beyond mortified. My pre-teen had just caught me making out with her Mother as if I was a horny high-school boy.

"Fleur…" I tried but she cut me off.

"There's nothing you two can say that makes this not what I think it is Momma." I was about to counter that argument when Bo laughed out loud and we both looked at her like she had gone mad.

In seconds she opened her arms widely and Fleur leaped into them happily. I sighed at the sight and when Bo gave me an inviting look I didn't waste as second cuddling up to the vacated side of her. Fleur looked up at me her eyes shining brightly with happiness and I thought my heart would burst as well.

"Does this mean I have two moms?" Fleur fired off excitedly.

"Well, I thought you already did." I poked her tongue out at her making Bo laugh.

"You know what I mean, are you guys dating? I'm super stoked about this by the way." Fleur fired off making me uncertain.

I hadn't put any labels on what Bo and I had yet, I wasn't even sure if she wanted to. I was just taking it as it came and hoping for the best. I realized I had to explain things to Fleur, it wasn't as simple as jumping into things with Bo and this could very well be a lot of nothing. I would be heartbroken if Bo didn't feel the same as I did, if I had been reading the signs wrong, but I would accept it as it came.

"Well, Fleur thing is…" I started before Bo chimed in leaving me speechless.

"We're going on our first date tonight so you **could** technically say we are dating." My eyes met hers and in a second I could see the confirmation in her eyes.

"Oh my God!" Fleur jumped off our embrace to pace my room. "I have two parents!"

I laughed and begged her to sit still since I hadn't checked her vitals this morning but her energy was just contagious. I was feeling so relieved that the disaster that could've been last night was now a beautiful happy moment between us and our child. It felt so good to say that… no matter what happened between Bo and I, Fleur would **always** be our child.

"Mom!" I was about to answer with curiosity since Fleur had always called me Momma, but with a start I realized she was referring to Bo. I was unsure of how she'd take it

"I…uh…what?" Bo answered her and I held her hand and squeezed her gently.

"Are you going to work out or are you going to make out?" Fleur asked.

"I'm going to work out." Bo declared as I practically rolled on the floor laughing.

Bo turned to me suddenly, looking mischievously at me as a shiver ran down my spine. In a second she had pounced and was on me pinning me to the mattress while her nimble fingers teased my sides and my stomach. I giggled uncontrollably not able to escape the tickles she was attacking me with.

"What's so fuckin funny gigglybits?" She whispered at me and I laughed harder realizing what she was quoting.

"Mom, language!" Fleur admonished as she attacked my neck knowing it was the place to tickle me and then shortly after she mercifully jumped off me.

"Get changed kiddo, I'll meet you at the gym." Bo grinned at her as she dashed out of the room in a flash while I heaved trying to gain my composure.

"My God you're beautiful." Bo whispered smiling at me as I blushed.

"Thank you." I breathed watching her move around the room for her work out clothes.

I couldn't help but stare, she was gorgeous and I couldn't quite believe what was happening. I loved Bo, that was for sure, but with moments like this I couldn't help but realize I was _falling in love_ with Bo surely and hopelessly. Seeing her completely and utterly head over heels for Fleur just drove my heart to skip for her even more. She might have not known it, but she was a great mother so far.

"So, the cat's out of the bag." I noted as she gave me a soft smile.

"She's a smart one, like her Momma, it was only a matter of time." She admitted as I blushed at the compliment.

"Bo… if you need me to talk to her about calling you Mom…" I wanted her to know there was no pressure, I knew it was a lot at the same time.

"I'm ready Lau, she is my child and I am her mother." My heart practically skipped at the notion.

"Then I'm especially sad I don't have time for breakfast, I have to get to the lab soon." I whispered as she pouted.

"I'm taking Fleur with me to the office to pick up an assignment then." She mentioned and I nodded knowing Fleur would love that.

"Did you mean it about that date?" I was hesitant to ask, yet I wanted to give her an out in case she needed it. I hoped she didn't use it, yet I offered.

"With all my heart" she whispered firmly before she kissed my lips and I got lost in her once again. "I'll meet you up at 6:00pm, we'll go for my therapist, then dinner and something fun so dress comfortably."

"I look forward to it Bo." I whispered as we pulled apart and she caressed my cheek.

With that I watched her give me a smile and walk out of the room. I let out a dreamy sigh knowing I had it bad. The smile that stretched across my lips was bright and I laid there realizing I had never felt like this for someone other than Fleur before, even then it was different. The fierceness and selfless love you felt being a mother was something I couldn't even describe, but it was something you recognized instantly after you had it. The way I felt for Bo… it was breath taking and scary at the same time. I felt like I would do anything this woman ever needed of me without a second thought and the prospect of that filled me with love and terrified me at the same time.

I hurried out of Bo's room after a glance of the clock. I had a conference call in about an hour so I had to hurry. After missing work yesterday I couldn't afford missing another day of research and answers. Kenzie waved at me as I passed by the kitchen as she gave me a smile from her cereal bowl.

"My hat is off to you Dr. Hotpants!" I laughed and shook my head. "Seriously, you're a miracle worker!"

"Thank you Kenzie but it's all her." I admitted as she tapped her nose giving me a fond look.

I heard the door of the gym close as I was toweling myself dry. I smiled knowing Bo was here, Fleur had been shooting the puck at her net for a little while now. I felt my stomach flutter at the notion and I worked on calming myself. I had received endless banter from Ryan and Dyson as they saw me jumping the fence to get home. They were talking over the fence when I made my escape into my own yard and Dyson teased me about my morning walk of shame without the shame. The interaction had made my heart quicken, my face redden in embarrassment. I knew how much Bo affected me and now that we were somewhat involved, that my feelings had been voiced.

After throwing an outfit together I took the time to do my hair and grabbed my med kit which I had brought home with me to check Fleur. I smiled knowing the treatment was working and besides a couple of bouts of hiccups no other side-effects had been reported. I knew deep down though that this was not a cure and that Fleur's quick system would develop an immunity to this treatment eventually. I headed out of my room wanting to find my girls. I grabbed a few drinks from the fridge and made my way down.

As soon as the clearing where Fleur had her net I saw her in her usual red jersey she was smiling up and when I cleared the next step my breath hitched in my throat. My eyes landed on a smiling Bo with shorts that barely cleared her black and gold jersey. Her loose hair fell around her shoulders and was held back by a gold snapback as she leaned on her hockey stick. I bit my lip and ran my eyes along her fit and strong body, you could tell she was physical an athlete. My heart rattled as she caught my eyes and gave me a small smile.

"I'm leaving now, thought I'd come and say goodbye." I voiced as Fleur came and hugged me tight.

I caught Bo staring and her her eyes inviting her into our embrace. She was part of us now, she knew this deep down. Bo crossed the distance between us and wrapped her arms around us as Fleur looked up beaming with a smile. I knew that deep down Fleur wanted this, she had wanted two parents for a long time, I had seen it as she grew older. As with everything Fleur was wise beyond her years, she had long stopped insisting for me to date knowing it had never made me happy. I hadn't found a true connection with anybody and in part I knew that was why I had acted so rudely to Bo in the first place. I felt the pull towards her since the moment my eyes laid on her beautiful face and back then I was not as aware of her problems as I was now. I suddenly felt ashamed for my previous behaviour but Bo pulled me out of it as she whispered in my ear.

"Be safe." She pulled me into a kiss and I just melted into it as I heard Fleur squeal.

"You're so cute!" I laughed at the girl's excitement as she left us to go shoot again.

"She's not allowed on the ice yet and please keep an eye on her blood pressure for me." I asked of Bo and she nodded firmly.

"I will." She whispered and I smiled.

"You ARE too cute in this outfit." I sighed as she rolled my eyes with a smile. "Maybe you'll get me into hockey…"

When our eyes connected it was a different kind of spark something I couldn't quite place but I loved. I kissed her cheek as I moved towards Fleur and made sure she didn't do anything out of order.

"Remember your instructions, don't strain yourself and be careful if anything feels odd just call me ok?" I reminded as she nodded.

"Love you Momma" she whispered before giving me a kiss and with that and a parting glance at Bo I left.

The work in the lab kept me occupied, but it didn't keep me from glancing the clock several times. It was very hard for me to not get anxious at the prospect of the dinner with Bo. My heart raced thinking about the prospect of a normal adult night with the woman. I thought it was amazing that she had asked me out to begin with. Today had proven to me that despite of the whirlwind that was Bo and I she wanted to take serious steps with me.

As the day drew to a close I was anxious to get a move on. I was eager to meet Bo's therapist and get our date started. Contrary to probably most I was super excited to meet her Doctor and get a glimpse of the brilliant mind that had brought out the woman I was falling deeper and deeper in love with. I had one more conference call and then I was free.

I cringed as Tamsin came in, the knowledge of the damage she was doing to herself was heavy on my mind as I ended my call ready to leave. I didn't want to say anything about it, I would take the opportunity to talk to Bo's Doctor about it and get some professional advice. Tamsin looked at me from darkened eyes and let out a deep sigh.

"Dyson called me, said he had Fleur for a bit… I would like to come see her." She mumbled and I shook my head fervently.

"I'm sorry Tamsin, I'm not comfortable with that." I sighed not wanting to get into this without the Doctor's advice.

"Come on Lauren! You let EVRYBODY see Fleur, the goth tween, the weird construction guy, her junkie mother!" she yelled and I stood up abruptly crossing the distance between us glaring her down.

I could see she was shaking and her moodiness was probably withdrawal. I felt angry of her demands, how dare she judge Bo in the state she was in!

"Don't you ever call her that again" I hissed "That's very rich coming from you."

She glared at me and I shook my head angrily.

"I know you can't put the bottle down and **that's** why you won't see Fleur. Same rules Bo has to abide by all of you have to as well. You want to see Fleur? Stay sober. Now excuse me I have a date." I countered and turned in my heels quickly angry at my best friend. It seemed it was all I did around her anymore.

I tapped my hands on the steering wheel nervously before shutting off the engine. I was excited to see Bo and had worn my favourite halter top to impress her. I had been late from all the makeup I had to put on my chest to mute the glaring bruise. It was tender and it hurt but in some way I was proud of it. I grabbed my clutch and with one last glance at my make-up I decided I'd look as good as I was going to and set off to find Bo.

When the doors opened my breath caught in my throat at the sight of Bo. Her hair was pulled back in the front as the rest was held up in a high pony tail, her makeup was done perfectly dark and her eyes held mine enticing me. I drank her with my eyes: her tight black pants, the leather jacket that adorned her figure perfectly. It was almost too much for me to process but as she smiled taking me in I knew I was head over heels over the woman.

"I'm sorry I'm late my conference with Dr. Reid ran a little later than usual." I lied a bit not wanting to dampen the evening.

"It's alright, you're only late by a few minutes anyways. Besides, it must be a first for a first date to be in a shrink's office." She joked as I chuckled.

"I don't think we do anything conventionally Bo, I mean we have a daughter, yet this is our first date." She pulled me into a kiss as I said this and I melted into her.

"You look amazingly beautiful." she breathed as I blushed.

"As do you, Bo! I must say, I really do love how this blue goes with you." I mentioned as I tugged on her jacket drinking her in once more.

"If two are done eating each other with your eyes then come on in, by all means." The Doctor's voice rung out and I blushed deeply.

"Can you believe the basket case is my Doctor?" she mumbled and my heart raced as she reached for my hand and entwined her fingers with mine.

The office was beautiful and as I read the plaque on her door I realized with excitement that this was THE Dr. Marquise. I was even more appreciative for this session and my heart rested more at ease knowing Bo was not only in good hands but the best ones.

With a very professional demeanor Dr. Marquise offered us seating and after we had I felt my own professionalism surface.

"I'm Doctor Lewis, I've heard much about you from Bo and the community of course." I admired as the Doctor smiled.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you Doctor Lewis, I'm flattered that you've heard of me. I hope you haven't needed my kind of help in the past" The doctor winked at me and I smiled.

"Not at all… I must admit, I took up reading about your work and expertise after meeting Bo." I squeezed Bo's hand reassuringly not wanting her to feel it was some kind of burden or anything of the like.

"I wouldn't expect anything else from such a professional. A good Doctor does their homework." Dr. Marquise complimented me and I nodded.

"Do you think that you guys would be able to expand to me on new developments since my last talk with Bo?" she asked as she looked at me and then at Bo in turn who was just space out. I smiled as I realized she was staring at me.

"Ysabeau!" the Doctor called her attention with her full name which I loved. I saw Bo look embarrassedly away. "My, oh my look at you my dear girl."

Bo blushed and crossed her arms with a huff pouting. She looked so much like Fleur at the moment that my heart fluttered with love I felt I couldn't hold back. Dr. Marquise interrupted my thoughts and I was kind of grateful.

"Well, now that you're both here do any of you want to talk about what's going on?" She went straight to the point and I found it refreshing.

I glanced at Bo not knowing how much she wanted me to share. This was her therapist, yet the things that Bo had shared with me was extremely personal so I wanted to be careful. The gorgeous brunette gave me a soft reassuring squeeze and I knew she was encouraging me to start.

"I'm not going to be naïve and think you don't know who I am, there's a reason why I'm here." I smiled as Dr. Marquise returned it. "My daughter Fleur very recently turned into **our** daughter Fleur… we also found out she's sick and there are certain complications to her recovery."

"How has spending time with Fleur? Let's start simple like that…" she asked Bo who lit up.

"I really enjoy it. It was really scary when I called you because she had an episode. Lauren has been working endlessly to get her up and running and about a week ago she was brilliant enough to get a treatment going for her." Bo talked away as I groaned internally upset that I needed that animal's help to fix our daughter.

"Unfortunately my research all points to…" I mentioned enraged at my incompetency and my conundrum.

"I'm going to guess Bo has by now told you about her foster life and Gregory." The Doctor asked as I balled up my fists in anger and nodded.

"We spoke about it yesterday morning, it's what I believe led to her episode." I assessed as Dr. Marquise nodded.

"Bo…" the older woman asked her and Bo nodded before speaking.

"Yeah… I think talking about it sent me to that dark place again. I would've worked-out but it was the middle of the night, I was quite disoriented." She frowned and I squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"This… I like this" the Doctor smiled pointing at our hands. "It seems like you finally have found someone to be strong enough to be your support system. As I always tell you, the strength to keep on your path is on you, but having people here for you can be the difference between you getting overwhelmed and you overcoming an obstacle."

Bo nodded as I saw the gears in her head turning. She was smart so I waited patiently for her to internalize what Dr. Marquise was saying. Suddenly her phone rung and she looked down embarrassed at it. She recognized the number and threw us an apologetic smile.

"Sorry guys it's work." She excused herself and we nodded at her.

"Go ahead and use the waiting room, we'll be here Bo. We're almost done unless there's more you want to talk about." She shook her head as the Doctor nodded and off she went.

After I was certain she was out of earshot I turned to the Doctor, she was eyeing me curiously before making a few annotations. I cleared my throat and she looked up at me with a smile. She put the notepad down and took her glasses off before giving me a small smirk. She was young but not as young as I was, yet she was beautiful and elegant.

"Would you like to talk Doctor?" she asked and I smiled at my title.

"I… I have a date with Bo in a few minutes and I just… things feel so normal yet they're not. I feel confused most of the time I'm around her not because of us but because of the things that happened to her. I find myself doubting my every move hoping it won't be a trigger." I explained as the other woman nodded.

"Be yourself Doctor… you've done amazing so far and the bottom line is that you and Fleur along with the support system you guys have is helping Bo heal." She explained before taking a huge sigh.

"Thing is, Bo comes from a life where she doesn't know much Lauren. She doesn't know how to feel things properly or do things normally because she had no education about how to go about that. You're strong, I can tell, and I know you have what it takes to make Bo strong too. I'm very **very** glad she has you." I nodded taken aback, I hesitated before voicing the rest of my concerns but in the end I needed to.

"I… I **desire her** , it torments me with guilt." I breathed out and she nodded.

"Bo's a recovering addict but she's still human Doctor, she still has the same needs you do. Up until what we had covered she didn't understand sexuality much. Contrary to other sexual abuse victims Bo doesn't recoil from contact but rather she welcomes it. This is because she was led to believe when she was younger that this was the norm." I tried to keep my rage at bay as Dr. Marquise caught my eyes softly. "You're her first a plethora of experiences, including love. I can see she loves you and so do you so just cherish her, take things as they come and care for one another. Don't let this asshole take away your happiness with Bo with his Goddamn memory. I'll be here for anytime you guys ever need me."

With a few more short conversations by the time I came out to the lobby to meet Bo she was just as stunning as eve giving me a smile as she hung up the phone. My heart raced and I sighed thinking of the words Dr. Marquise had given me. I was ready, I'd be Bo's many firsts and if I was lucky also her lasts. I didn't want to get too ahead of myself but I could see myself waking up to this beauty time and time again for the rest of my life.


	13. Chapter 13

**I don't usually do this but here's the update for Cosmic Love and Heavy In your Arms should be up within the hour or so, don't despair! I wanted to make sure these two chapters were absolutely perfect for you guys and I hope I don't disappoint. It was really hard to get these out there as you can imagine, but I do hope you guys leave me some love with reviews.**

 **Thanks for the patience and the love! Shout out to all of you beauties who followed me on twitter! Last_Dragomir**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 13:**

Bo had insisted in driving offering me to come back tomorrow to pick up my own vehicle. I gently agreed liking the way she was taking the lead. I could tell she had borrowed the nicer car Ryan had and the way she opened the door for me made me smile shyly. I mumbled a thank you as I sat and she closed the door behind me rushing to the other side. She smiled brightly as she got in the car and I could tell she was nervous as she pulled away from the parking lot.

I wanted to hold her hand but I was way too impressed by her driving stick. I had seen Ryan drive the modded car around several times but seeing Bo expertly maneuver it was something else entirely. I didn't know much about cars but Fleur would probably be salivating at this vehicle, she and Tamsin were big car enthusiasts.

"I hope you don't mind the radio, I don't remember how to change the station in this touch screen Ryan installed recently." She pouted and I bit my lip from giggling. She was adorable.

"It's alright, I don't mind." I smiled "Where are we going?"

"Nope, not telling you until we get there." She smiled smugly and I huffed.

"I… I don't know how these things usually go beyond what you see in moves." She confessed blushing and I smiled finally resting my hand on her shoulder looking at her softly.

"Just be yourself Bo, you already have my heart." I whispered and with that I saw her visibly relax.

The rest of the way the drive was nice and peaceful as we listened to the radio in a comfortable silence. I saw her glance at me with a smile and all of the sudden we turned into a valet parking of sorts. As we got out of the car I gasped when I saw where we were and suddenly her hand was on mine giving it a soft squeeze. I turned to look at her as her eyes shone with excitement and I knew this was going to be a magical night.

As we came through the bamboo and glass doors I looked around at the elegant and tasteful Asian decor. There were fresh clean plants inside and the room had an ancient Japanese vibe that I absolutely loved already. Bo pulled me gently to the host stand where a beautiful red headed beauty looked her up like she was water in the middle of the desert. I felt the flare of jealousy rise within me, it was sudden and it took me aback but I couldn't deny it.

"Hello there welcome to Ichiraku on the mountain pass Ramen House" the woman purred as she licked her lips scanning Bo's body unashamed "what can I have the pleasure of doing for you?"

I fumed completely and in a second I pushed forwards putting my body between the hostess and Bo with my back towards the red-head as I adjusted the collar of Bo's leather jacket. I batted my eyes giving her a bright smile realizing that her whole attention was on me unfaltering.

"I can't believe you brought me here, I've been wanting to come here for months" I confessed in a whisper as her arms wrapped around my waist with a huge warm smile.

"Fleur told me you like Ramen." She breathed and in seconds I had closed the gap between us as her lips melted into mine and her arms squeezed me tightly.

I heard with satisfaction as the hostess huffed behind me and in victory I pulled apart from Bo's lips. She greeted me with a sly smile as her eyes twinkled and she bit her bottom lip slightly. Without missing a beat or tearing her eyes off me she spoke up.

"Reservation for two under Bo Dennis." She husked and I felt my heart quicken at the smoldering look she was giving me.

"Right this way." The hostess curt voice snapped me out of the bubble with Bo and I blushed at my behaviour following Bo and the red-head.

We were tucked away in a small table booth in a corner of the restaurant, it was quite private since we were beside the huge aquarium they had making it more intimate. The table was lit with a candle and the shadows it drew in Bo's face as she told the waiter what she wanted to drink were gorgeous. The polite young waiter walked away while her eyes met mine and a slow smile crossed my lips.

"Thank you for taking me out Bo." I breathed as she reached across the small table easily holding my hand.

"It's my pleasure Lauren, I think we deserve an evening to ourselves after all the crazy action we've had lately" she mentioned in a deep voice as her eyes shyly met mine.

"This is incredible Bo, I love ramen." I insisted and she chuckled.

"Fleur mentioned it a couple of times while I was making her some at your place the other day." She admitted as her eyes shone talking about our girl.

"You've made her a ramen addict as well as a Naruto fan. I think I might be a tad jealous, I tried to get her into Digimon when she was younger." I confessed as Bo laughed and I brightened at the sound.

"Because Digimon was not as hip as Pokemon, you were showing her the wrong stuff. I thought you were the nerd in this relationship." She teased and I felt my breath hitch at the label she had slapped on 'us'.

"Is that what we have?" I whispered before I could catch myself as my eyes met hers.

"I would like that… I dunno…" she blushed and shrugged as I realized I had put her in the spotlight and I cleared my throat.

"I would like that too Bo. I would like for you to be my girlfriend." Her eyes met mine in surprise as a slow smile made its way to her face.

"I…" she tried before giving out a slight chuckle. "I'd like that. I'm not too sure how this whole girlfriend thing works but I promise I'll try."

I sighed falling deeper and deeper in love with her. Before we could say anything else the waiter had come back with our drinks. We both got some virgin daiquiris and after asking me for my permission she decided to expertly order for the both of us. There was a high level of intimacy to our evening the way Bo was handling herself and the wait staff. She looked very confident and in her element like she did when she was in 'work' mode for the media firm. I dare say it aroused me slightly as I ran my finger on the rim of the glass enjoying her voice instructing the waiter. After the man left her eyes met mine and she gave me a smile.

"What?" she asked with curiosity and I shook my head fondly.

"For someone who's not sure about the whole girlfriend thing you're sure doing a really good job impressing the fuck out of me." I joked and she laughed as she looked at me scandalously.

"Doctor! Language!" she warned me as Fleur would and we laughed some more. "Where is our beautiful girl this evening?"

"She's with Dyson and Ryan at the shooting range." I groaned "Dyson insists she need to know how to protect herself."

"He's a smart guy, I'm glad Ryan is getting out more, he needed a guy friend. Poor guy gets ambushed with Kenzie and I at times." She laughed.

"So these mad skills? Don't change the subject." I teased as she gave me a sly smile.

"Seriously thought, I just get along with the service industry people."

"How's that? Is it tied to how great your cooking is every time you cook?" I teased and she chuckled while nodding.

"Yeah, I was a line cook for a few years between school and whatever it is after that." She smiled at me and I could tell it probably wasn't an easy time for her either.

"I hustled a lot for jobs when I was younger, I was a bartender for a bit just cause I guess I'm, cute enough when I got to Ottawa." Her smile showed a beautiful dimple on her cheek and I almost melted right then and there "Then I hated humanity and let's just say my sobriety wasn't the best back then, but I found that in the kitchen as long as you showed up and didn't fuck up you'd be paid."

"So our daughter is learning from a trained chef?" I asked surprised and impressed trying to stay on the positives.

She laughed inhibited and deeply as her head threw back and she closed her eyes. I loved seeing her like this, so open and frank. I took a sip from my drink to calm my racing heart and my raging libido. The more she opened up, the more attraction I felt towards her. It was like a spark in a room full of ethanol.

"I wouldn't say chef, more like Sous at some point but that didn't last long." She shook her head. "It all feels like a lifetime ago… which is funny because at the time I swore up and down that was what the rest of my life would be like. An endless parade of bodies, booze and drugs as I slaved away in a kitchen trying to keep the landlord believing I'd give him rent next month."

"Yet here you are a sports reporter that gets assignments and recommended by THE Erin Andrews." I gushed as she blushed shaking her head slightly.

"I see you've heard who I worked for." She teased as I nodded.

"Kenzie gushed about how she's got mad connections and got you hooked up." I smiled as she shook her head fondly.

"I love that girl" she chuckled. "By the way, speaking of work… I just got an assignment to cover the Argos in Montreal this weekend because the anchor they had scheduled got sick and I was wondering if I could take Fleur with me."

"Certainly, I wouldn't mind at all." I smiled quickly as the wheels in my head turned already planning ahead.

I had been speaking to Doctor Reid about the cure we were trying to formulate. We needed to get a sample from Gregory and we had been trying to come up with slick ways to get it done. I had not gone into detail with the Doctor about why it was detrimental for it to be done secretly but he didn't raise any discussion about it and just followed my lead. As much as I hated going behind Bo's back I could use this opportunity to make my move and get the answers we needed. I was glad here was a reason for both Bo and Fleur to be as far away as possible from the monster that ruined Bo's life.

"I want to tell her about it tomorrow when we hit the gym." She mused as she looked at her napkin undoubtedly thinking of our girl.

"The honour is all yours." I smiled and took her hand once more brushing my fingers against her knuckles.

"I don't suppose I could convince you to run away with us for a bit?" she teased and I shook my head.

"I can't I have a lot of ground to cover with Fleur's situation, but rest assured I believe by the time you guys come back I'll have some positive news." I admitted as she perked up.

"I can cheer to that." She said raising her glass and 'clinking' it with mine as we both laughed.

The rest of our time in the restaurant was spent making small talk about my childhood and how I would play around with the servants when they enticed me to. I told her about how big the manor where I had grown up was and how I would spend some of my evenings in the green house I had built on the rooftop. The meal she had picked out was amazing and when the time for dessert came we couldn't decide so we got one of each of the three desserts.

My heart almost come to a complete standstill when I made her try my chocolate cake. It was decadent and rich and a complete must so she stretched her elegant neck and wrapped her beautiful lips around my fork glancing into my eyes before closing them in delight. I held in my gasp at the sight, there was just something so sexual about the gesture that I almost admonished myself for the thoughts I was having. Her praise of the dessert brought me back to earth for a bit but I knew this woman was going to make me come undone sometime soon.

We had a small argument about the bill but in the end she insisted that she had been the one to ask me out. Her hand found the small of my back as we walked to the valet again and I insisted on tipping the kid to help me feel better for her paying. She once again opened the door for me before hopping in the car herself and we hit the road to the radio softly playing. My hand found hers this time and there it stayed until we pulled up at a place I didn't recognize in the city.

I raised an eyebrow at her as she smiled getting out of the car. I followed suit and walked along-side her as our hands found the other's once more. It was a habit we were developing that I absolutely loved now and hoped we could continue it. Bo gave me a glance as we stood in front of an abandoned building. She gave me a wide smile, leading me through the rubble in the parking lot until we reached a fence.

I could see the signs and warnings to not trespass the area but I was simply too curious as to what we were doing here to mention us possibly doing something illegal. I followed her closely, holding on to the hem of her leather jacket as I heard her humming a soft tune. She found a hole in the chain-link fence and we tucked past it with no problem at all as she marveled at something. As we reached the abandoned building Bo turned around to face me and smiled.

"I promise I'm not being a creep." She said reassuringly.

I laughed and squeezed her hand.

"I **was** giving you the benefit of the doubt…" I teased as she chuckled leading me into the building which was lit up by moonlight in the middle of the courtyard.

"When I was ten I had decided I was either going to do one of two things: Kill myself or run away." The casualness the statement held stumped me yet I was able to hold off the horrified shiver that ran down my spine. I could not imagine life without her now.

"I managed to steal the neighbor's van one night. I knew how to drive since I was about nine and a half and this particular van was wheelchair accessible so I didn't even have to worry about reaching the pedals." She laughed and I bit my lip marveled at how she was opening up to me. I was honoured.

"Where did you go?" I whispered as she stretched her arms when we came into a courtyard.

As if it was a hidden gem, there was boards up in the middle of the courtyard, there was a few nets set up and in a corner there was a pile of in-line skates, hockey sticks and helmets. She gave me a bright smile and led me to where it all was. It wasn't cold enough for ice but I could totally see they were definitely ready for when it came. She pointed to one of the far walls of the rink, there was a huge Mario Lemieux Pittsburgh Penguins mural next to the boards and I raised an eyebrow at it. I wondered at the significance it held for Bo.

"It took me two months to make that. I would steal the spray cans from a local hardware believe it or not." She chuckled and now I **really** took in the mural.

I wouldn't have guessed it had been made by a ten year old, the detail on it was exquisite and the shadowing was very good. I walked up to it running my hand on the wall as if I could somehow transport myself to when Bo made it. Her voice filled the space now so much meaningful to me and I almost cried at the beautiful things she had left in her path of sorrow… _this…Fleur…_

"It was winter back then, I had almost crashed the van in the parking lot with all the ice, but I learned how to drive in ice that winter. I ended up here where some of the neighborhood kids would play in the rink. The van was too cold for the nights then, here I could burn some papers at night to keep me warm."

"How long were you here?" I asked suddenly turning to see her putting some skates on.

"About two and a half months. Then I got caught stealing a donut one night and the old man called CPS instead of the cops so back to hell I went." She huffed and I sneered at the rage I felt inside.

"Bo… I'm so sorry you had to go through that." I whispered and she silently nodded as she skated around handling a small rubber ball with a stick.

"I learned how to play hockey here, I had watched when he played a few games but here…" she shot and turned to me "here I got to play and pretend I was far away doing something important like scoring the golden goal in the Olympics."

"Your daughter loves the sport the same way you do." I noted fondly as she came over to me with a smile shaking her head.

"She's not my daughter... she's **our** daughter." She corrected firmly as I blushed under her stare.

"I am so grateful to be her mother Bo… to be your girlfriend…" I whispered as the brunette smiled softly and pressed her lips against mine.

"Can I hear you say that again?" her voice was thick with emotion and I bit my lower lip before repeating myself.

"…I'm your girlfriend Bo…" I smiled and she blushed while her smile widened with the realization.

"Let's go home." She gruffed moving to change into her boots once more and I nodded wanting to have her in my arms in the comfort of home.

The drive back was silent and comfortable. Knowing that she and Fleur were two peas in a pod I tuned in to the Penguins game for her to listen to. She gave me a bright smile and kissed my cheek before turning her attention to the road again. As she celebrated goal after goal and made voice notes of the game on her phone with my help I pondered on how much she had opened up to me. It was amazing she was telling me so much about her painful past, yet in a way it felt like she was healing with it as well. I could only hope that my observations were correct, I didn't want her to have another painful episode like she had recently. I made the decision right then and there to spend the night with her regardless and make sure she was safe even when she slept. Before I knew it we had arrived at my driveway.

"Would you like to come inside?" I whispered breaking the silence we had fallen upon in the car.

Bo nodded shyly and shut off the engine before getting out of the car and joining me walking to my door. I extended my hand for her to grab and felt instantly better when she did. I imputed the code on the door's handle and gained access to the house. I turned on the hallway lights as I went along. I let go of Bo's hand and began taking off my shoes as I heard her do the same. I hung my jacket on the hook as she was peeling off her leather jacket and I moved towards my room absentmindedly.

I suddenly remembered my manners and turned on my heels to find her leaning against the wall looking at me through half lidded eyes. A quiver ran down my body at the sight and before I knew it I had closed the space between us brushing the hair out of her face gently as my eyes roamed her face. I could feel her breath on my lips and I couldn't help but bite my lower lip as I let out a hard happy sigh.

"Thank you for the date." I whispered.

Bo nodded looking into my eyes with her darkened ones, I began pulling her to my room wanting to take her out on the balcony.

"I wanted to take you somewhere that mattered to me…" she whispered, stopping me in the middle of my room and I smiled.

"I loved our date Bo, I think you're amazing." I confessed as I held her waist tight wanting to feel her close and take her demons away.

"About earlier… I don't regret my past Lauren… things that happened were shitty but **every** step of the way it led me to both of you. Even Fleur led me to you… how could I ever regret this? Regret you?" she asked as she caressed my face gently. "I feel sane with you Lauren."

I had kissed her before she could continue. It was as if I could not resist or fight the urge any longer, I needed Bo and as my lips collided with hers there was nothing else but her and I. I felt her hands bunch up my shirt as she pushed against my lips with the same passion I was showing her. I moaned into the kiss and she entered my mouth with her tongue with a hunger that took my breath away. I felt like my head was swimming in everything that was Bo: her scent, her taste, the way she felt in my hands. It was all too much for my senses as my pulse quickened.

The moment I bit her bottom lip, winning the gradual moan rising from deep within her throat was the moment I lost all inhibitions truly letting my mind go blank and my senses take over. Her hips pushed against mine as she gasped kissing along my jawline while her hands traveled down my shoulders pulling me even closer. Suddenly she pulled away and I feared I had taken too much too soon. Her eyes search mine as her voice came hushed and hoarse with what was unmistaken desire.

"What are you doing?" she whispered and I shook my head.

"I don't know yet, just let me." I whispered back.

I saw the hesitation in her eyes it was as if at last she had decided to put down that final barrier between us. I told myself to be careful and patient, this was not the time to let my desire ruin her progress. With a final firmness she pushed forwards kissing me deeply as I melted into her arms loving every movement of her lips. I could hear the sighs escape her lips as the kiss intensified and her hands held my face gingerly. My lips found her beautiful regal neck and my tongue lapped at the soft skin it found there as her hands feathered down my bare back. The moan that came from her lips edged me on as I pulled her tighter against me. I felt her hands tremble as she pulled me towards her lips once more. I needed to calm down and take things at her pace yet I just felt this intense fire that got lit within me it was as if I was going to combust under her touch and her lips.

Her hands roamed my body over my clothes it was fast and almost desperate so I decided to interlace my hands with hers slowing our movements. I wanted her to realize we could take this gently, this wasn't what she was used to but it hadn't quite registered into her mind quite yet. I slowed our kiss as well as she let out a soft breath.

I felt her hands tug at my shirt softly, gently as if scared to do so. I understood she was scared, she was probably experiencing this for the first time. Such an intimate moment, sex with feelings and everything that entailed. Evony had been right, I had to teach her how to love me and by God I would. This woman deserved the very best of me just like our daughter did. I held her shaking hands and held them to my heart as I pulled my lips away from her looking into her eyes.

My lips found hers as I gently leaned her on the bed but it was fast and swift as she flipped us pinning me against the mattress. I groaned feeling myself heat up instantly with the gesture. I wanted to stop her but it felt so good as ground her hips against mine making our centres meet. I let out a hard moan when her lips sucked on my neck hard before pushing her away slightly. I panted trying to control my libido as she looked down at me almost challengingly and I realized she couldn't be in control of the situation if I was to teach her how to properly treat someone you cared about.

I pushed forwards and captured her lips softly pulling away when she tried to go fast once more. I shook my head slightly as she blushed realizing her blunder. I took her hand and softly kissed it before whispering.

"Trust me Bo. May I undress you?"

She took a few seconds before nodding slowly looking at me from uncertain eyes. I softly kissed her face, down her neck and collarbone. I hooked my hands on her shirt knowing exactly the exquisite skin that awaited me underneath. Our eyes connected with my silent question and with a small nod of her head I tugged up at her shirt gasping at the sight of her exposed chest. I licked my lips unconsciously as I drank up the sight and a mischievous smile crossed her lips. She was even more breath taking than I could've ever imagined and the fact that she was here this vulnerable in front of me made my heart swell with love. Her hand came up and brushed the hair away from my face gently tracing down my back making me shiver.

"Don't be afraid Bo… I love you" I whispered and she nodded before kissing my lips fervently this time.

I hooked my hands on her pants and tugged gently as she whimpered softly into my mouth. I waited as she helped me out by kicking them off the rest of the way. I gently pushed her on her back as I drank her over amazed at such perfection. She was probably the most beautiful human in existence. I saw her take a deep breath as her bottom lip trembled and she closed her eyes. I frowned and gently touched her face wanting… **needing** her to know that she was safe.

"Look at me baby." I whispered and her eyes opened in surprise at the nickname. "there's my beautiful girl."

Her smile was soft and genuine and I relished the moment silently.

"It's just you and me Bo, just keep your eyes on me." I whispered as she nodded gently.

I softly ran the tips of my fingers on her skin making goosebumps appear through her chest. I kissed her jawline as she sighed feeling my fingertips ghost around her gorgeous breasts. I heard a gasp escape her as I played with her nipple and the moan she gave me was exhilarating.

"Are you ok?" I asked as I laid kisses down her chest and on her stomach and she nodded softly.

I caressed her hips with my fingertips and felt her tremble underneath me. I sighed as I traced her inner thighs and felt her breaths quicken. Her softness was making me wet but I needed to control myself and put Bo first. I kissed her deeply as my fingers found her wetness and pushed on deep within her. I heard a gasp leave her and her arms wrapped around me as I stilled in horror hearing a distressed whimper. I pulled away and searched her face as tears ran down her face softly. I bit my lip to keep me from crying and tried to get her attention.

"It's ok baby, it's just me… open your eyes beautiful look at me." I begged in a soft whisper and she opened her light eyes to meet mine.

"I'm sorry." She whispered and I shook my head.

"Never be sorry… I can stop if you weren't enjoying yourself." I offered but she shook her head pulling me into a soft kiss.

"I felt really good, I just… it's a little hard… I don't know how to turn it off…" she whimpered and I kissed her tears away getting an idea.

"I could try something different." I suggested and she nodded. "If you still want to try that is… Let me know if at any time you want to stop."

"I still want to try." Bo whispered and I nodded kissing her lips deeply.

I once again began the trail of kisses down her body. This time I teased her breasts luxuriously making her moan loudly as she held on to my hair. I wanted to make sure she was enjoying herself and was rewarded as I kissed her hips and she bucked them towards me. I smiled against her skin and before I could loose my nerve I planted a kiss on her centre drawing a loud deep moan from the beauty. I was encouraged by that and lapped gently yet eagerly at her heat. The sighs coming from her as her hips met my movements made me quicken my pace. Before long I could hear my name escaping her lips like a mantra before her body quivered and she gripped the sheets tightly. I kissed up her body while she calmed down looking at me through half lidded eyes.

"Wow…wow…" she kept whispering and I couldn't help but chuckle.

She pawed at my still clothed body and I pulled my shirt off quickly. I kissed her as she moaned into my mouth before we parted for a second and I could see her eyes scan my torso as her trembling hand ghosted over my skin not quite touching my collarbone. I licked my lips as I saw the way her eyes were drinking me up, appreciating every inch of my skin she could see. I blushed under her stare feeling the heat pool between my legs under her appraisal. It was more than just sex, it was as if she was looking at me and **really** seeing me.

She moaned when our naked torsos touched and I about came at the sound. I felt her hands grab at my still slack clad ass and I smiled against her lips before she bit the bottom of my lip. I quickly unbuttoned my pants and threw them aside as her eyes roamed me once more. Her hand brushed against my chest gently but with no hesitation this time as every fiber of my being responded to her touch. I arched towards her and I heard her breath hitch while her fingers swirled around my breast before pinching my nipple making me hiss in pleasure. I felt her twist her hips to roll us over but I was having none of that. I didn't want her to go too fast and fall on bad habits.

My lips found her neck once more and she mumbled incoherently while I let out a small chuckle. I pressed my fingers onto her naked hips as she moaned when I bit down on her collarbone softly. I felt her nails scrape my back and smiled before taking one of her nipples into my mouth and indulging the soft skin. I heard her soft sighs and moans fill the room as my mouth and fingers worked their magic. I wanted her to feel every single caress and touch, I wanted her to feel again how much I loved her mind, body and soul.

"Oh God Lauren you're…" she gasped against my hair as she arched against me.

I hummed in response as I trailed kisses down her ribs feeling how her body heaved with her breaths. Her hands tangled against my hair as I suckled on her hip bone and a soft scream ripped through her. I pressed my fingers against her damp centre and she pulled me up to meet my lips in a searing kiss that left both of us breathless. My fingers circled the swollen mound through the silky fabric as she peeled her lips from mine her head tilted back in pleasure as she looked at me through lidded eyes.

"Lauren that feels…" she breathed before a soft gasp escaped her and I bit my bottom lip entranced by what I was doing to her.

Watching Bo come undone this way was so filling and intimate to me. I felt like I was seeing her in a way she had never been revealed before and deep down I knew this to be true. Her lips found my jawline as she kissed and nipped at the skin between heavy breaths while massaging my breasts with her nimble hands. I was lost in her and I never wanted to be found again. I looked into her eyes as my fingers moved past their barrier and as if in silent confirmation her eyes held mine as I entered her wet centre.

I couldn't be quite sure who moaned louder at the contact but the fact was that she was now gripping my back for dear life and pulling me close as I picked up a soft rhythm. She pulled me even closer now and I could feel her hot breath on my ear as her whimpers and moans encouraged me to continue. I picked up my pace slightly when her words slipped away letting me know she was close to coming undone. I turned and kissed her deeply as our tongues danced with one another in a steady rhythm that gave me chills. I was sure I was going to come before she ever did with the sensory overload that was Bo Dennis to me right now. Just when I didn't think things could get any hotter she raised up her knee jamming it deliciously between my legs making me rub against her with my every movement.

"Oh Bo" I purred pulling away from her lips as my face buried in her neck trying to hold on to the last of my composure.

My fingers dug deeper as her gasps turned into loud moans of pleasure with my every thrust. I could feel myself shaking with ecstasy and anticipation when her hands found my face and she pulled me into a scorching kiss. It was as if she was molding us to one another, making us fit together like one and it was overall too much for me. I could feel my stomach tighten as I felt her clench my digits with her closeness. I forced myself to look at her past the waves of pleasure that were hitting me, I stared deep into her eyes and she looked at me with such care and tenderness it was too much.

"Bo I-" I wanted to tell her how close I was, how I wanted her to be pleased before I was but her low and luscious voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"Lauren I love you" she whispered before she closed her eyes throwing her head back the force of her orgasm over taking her body.

I felt the force of my own pleasure hit me as I made sure to keep moving my wrist while thrashing gently atop her. I tried to roll aside but her arms held me by the hips keeping me in place. Her lips found my own and we kissed like we were the last two people alive. It was a fierce frenzy of lips and tongue and sighs as I came down from pure bliss.

Eventually the kiss turned softer, gentler and she rolled us sideways so we were looking at one another. She held me close and tight as if she was protecting me from something I couldn't quite grasp. My face was buried on her neck as I tried to calm my racing heart. I couldn't quite believe the amazing moment we had just shared and the fact that Bo had told me she loved me. I was in cloud nine when I felt a soft wet something on my neck. I stiffened immediately worried. This was not the time I wanted Bo to cry, but I could tell tears were rolling down her face. I pulled away and looked at her concerned as I saw big fat tears roll down her face.

"Oh Bo please look at me." I begged trying to get her to open her eyes.

"Oh Lauren…" she mumbled before the brightest smiled crossed her lips and her beautiful brown eyes opened to gaze at me.

I could get lost in her eyes for days. Even teary eyed she was an absolute goddess of a woman and I couldn't handle it. Her tone was like a breath, so gentle and full of care, full of **love**. Her hand came up to caress my cheek as she searched my eyes before smiling.

"You take my breath away." She whispered and I smiled blushing.

"As do you Bo, which is why I'm so saddened you're crying." I admitted as she shook her head slightly.

"I'm crying cause I'm happy Lauren… I… I've… I've never been touched like that before… or at all." She explained and she must've recognized the confusion in my face before continuing "I had never let anybody touch me after the incident you're the only one."

My heart swelled with pride beyond the pain that would always be there over Bo's circumstances. I felt so special and honoured now, to know I had such a personal part of Bo. She had let me in and trusted me enough to bring this beautiful moment into her life. She trusted me enough to let me take her hand and guide her away from a potentially disastrous situation.

"I… wow" I stammered as she chuckled and pressed her lips against mine as I melted into her.

"Mhm…" she purred before pulling away. "wow is correct doctor. You made me feel so many things."

"Good things I hope." I laughed a bit as she nodded.

"Amazing things." She corrected and I full on laughed.

I sighed feeling blissfully happy I wanted to preserve this memory forever now and hold it close to my heart. I couldn't really comprehend the words she had uttered in the heat of passion. I wanted to put them off my mind as a spur of the moment thing but when I felt her fingertips playing with my collarbone my heart raced once more.

"You are so beautiful Lauren." She whispered and my breath caught in my throat.

"Thank you" I mumbled and she shook her head not satisfied.

"Every time I look at you I feel myself loving you even more." She insisted and I felt that warm feeling envelop me in a way I couldn't quite describe.

"Bo… you… you love me?" I couldn't help but ask and I cringed at my vulnerable tone.

"If it wasn't for Fleur I would say I love you more than anything Lauren." She confessed and I closed my eyes letting it all wash over me.

"I love you so much Bo." I whispered as tears fell down my face.

She softly touched my cheek and kissed my tears away as she pulled me onto her embrace. It was warm and full of comfort and love, I could feel myself just glow with how amazing I felt being with her. She kissed my lips softly a couple of times as she smiled and I felt myself get lost in her once more.

"Thank you Lauren… I now know the difference between sex and love." She admitted blushingly and I couldn't help but feel pride at the fact that like Dr. Marquise had said I was teaching Bo.

Our hands found one another in the dance we had just shared as we felt desire run through us once more. It was then that I understood that I was forever spoiled and I would never want someone else than Bo. She was kind and sweet and selfless but more than anything she was brave and courageous putting others before herself constantly.

I must've fallen asleep because when I came to the sun was shining brightly into my room from the balcony we had never gotten to. I let out a heavy sigh noticing the sheets were cold beside me. I didn't know what I had expected the night before, everything had been too perfect after our second round of lovemaking and the way Bo had touched me was like a direct line to my soul. She was definitely an experienced lover, but the way she caressed me and handled me was like she was scared of breaking me, of hurting me and in some way I understood that. I had tried to keep my expectations at bay but the reality was that waking up without her hurt me a bit.

I decided to put it out of my mind and looked for something to wear to go put on some coffee. I saw by the edge of the bed a hockey jersey that was undoubtedly Bo's. I smiled as I draped it over my body climbing into a pair of sweats, the jersey still smelled like her earthy scent. I decided I would talk to Bo whenever I saw her to make sure she didn't feel forced or trapped in any way. As I came out of my room the sound of giggles hit my ears and all those negative thoughts were washed away. I walked slowly and quietly towards the kitchen by the living room where the TV was blasting some sports show undoubtedly for Bo. When I could get a clear view of the kitchen I leaned against the wall feeling my heart swell with joy.

Bo and Fleur were mixing something in a large mixing bowl with the high speed mixer. I was certain there was more mix on Fleur than in the bowl by now. I should've been worried that it was going everywhere but seeing Bo and Fleur laugh and giggle at the younger girl's antics was enough to soften me. Bo was wearing a tanktop and jeans that hugged her every curve perfectly. I couldn't help myself as I scanned her body knowing exactly what was beneath her clothes. I felt myself grow hot at the thoughts of last night and as if she could feel my embarrassment Bo's eyes connected with mine. A bright smile crossed her lips as she saw me and she bit her bottom lip taking me in.

"Would you like some coffee?" she asked and Fleur looked up to see me there.

"I would love some." I mentioned as she smiled busying herself with the task while I walked over.

"Momma! Mom and I were being careful not to wake you up yet." She frowned and I kissed the top of her hair with a smile.

"Well I'm up now, too bad" I stuck my tongue out and she giggled as she looked to her bowl once more engrossed in the activity.

"We're making pancakes for you." The young girl added as I wrapped my arms around Bo's waist.

"Mmm I'm sure they'll be delicious." I admitted but I saw how Bo tensed in my arms in mischief as she turned and captured my lips with her own.

Our kiss was soft but passionate and I couldn't help but crave her even more. I could probably kiss her for days on end with no other need for sustenance. Fleur giggled and shoved us before we pulled apart and she wrinkled her nose at me.

"I'm not going to be doing that with no boy." She declared as I laughed feeling Bo relax in my arms.

"well thank God for that!" the older woman declared before handing me my cup of coffee with a wink and turning to help our daughter with the making of pancakes.

Today was going to be a good day. I could feel it.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks for the patience and the love! Had to bribe the proofreader with some Thai hehe! Shout out to all of you beauties who followed me on twitter! Last_Dragomir**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 14:**

I wrinkled my nose as I threw the pair of bloody gloves in the garbage and washed my hands thoroughly. I had wanted to cram in a last patient before heading out and giving my station to the other Doctor. Graveyard wasn't my favourite, but it was what it was and I couldn't back out now. More than ever I grateful for Bo, she could help me with Fleur while I was elbows deep in guts in the ER. I had almost forgotten with all the commotion that I had agreed to do Dr. Scott's maternity leave. It had taken me by surprise when she called me to say the baby was early and I was needed at the hospital.

"I know we're just borrowing you but it feels so good having you back even for a bit Doctor Lewis." The nurse in the station admitted as I smiled and waved her off.

"I'm sure Dr. Scott is more than capable." I smiled and the nurse shook her head.

"You know I ain't saying Dr. Scott is bad, but you know you've always been my favourite." She jested and I chuckled.

"Alright Esther I should get going I have two ladies waiting for me at home for coffee and breakfast." I grinned knowing I'd see them soon.

"Ooooh, I hear Fleur but who's the other one? Have you finally settled down Dr. Lewis?" she bantered and I laughed.

"Well I do have a girlfriend at the moment." I glanced down blushing and smiling as she gushed.

"Oh boy, already breakfast with Fleur and everything, this must be quite a lady." Esther added and I nodded.

"She's very special. She's actually Fleur's biological mother." I laughed softly at the craziness of it all.

"Wow that's incredible!" the older woman admitted. "Sometimes when love is meant to be no matter what you find one another just when you need the other the most. Happened with Phil and I, swear on me Mom's grave."

I laughed softly before bidding my goodbyes and heading out to clock out. After grabbing a few files I wanted to review from the lab I headed to the locker room and from there I was home free. I saw on my phone as I walked to my car that I was slightly early than I had anticipated. I'd probably get an hour of sleep if I was lucky before they would get up to work out. Fleur and Bo now worked out every morning together. Bo had even designed a smaller circuit for Fleur.

The drive home was uneventful if nothing but anxious. When I walked into the house there was silence throughout. I took my shoes off being quiet as I slipped through the house in search of the girls. Fleur was sprawled in her bed with her messy hair around her and a teddy bear in her arms. I smiled as I took her in happy and content in her dream world.

After a bit I continued through the house and knew I'd find Bo behind my door. She would spend the night wherever Fleur was when I had to go to the hospital nowadays. I opened the door and was greeted by the darkness in the room broken by the moonlight filtering in through the window. I smiled as I saw Bo in my bed covered by a thin crimson sheet as she slumbered. Her chest rose and fell with her breaths and her lips were slightly agape, her face perfectly relaxed as her messy hair framed her face. I loved this woman so much.

I rapidly took my jeans and bra off leaving me in my underwear and a small camisole as I crawled into bed. I felt Bo stir slightly as she pulled me against her kissing my forehead.

"Good morning." She mumbled without opening her eyes and I chuckled softly.

"Morning beautiful." I whispered laying my head against her chest as she wrapped her arms around me.

"You smell like latex gloves and alcohol swabs." She grumbled wrinkling her nose in the most adorable way as I chuckled a bit loudly.

"I'm sorry"

"Sorry you did it or sorry that you got caught?" she baited with a smile and I bit.

"Both?" I shrugged as she shook her head softly.

"Liar."

I laughed and curled against her enjoying the warmth of her body against mine. I had quickly found out Bo liked to sleep in her sports bra and short shorts no matter what. She was always warm like a thousand suns yet her feet almost always are freezing when I come to bed. Even though we had only slept together a couple of nights I could see the patterns building in our sleep as we synchronized with one another. Soon her breathing evened and I knew she had gone back to sleep.

"I love you Bo." I whispered before kissing where her heart was and closing my eyes to the sound of her heartbeat.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I groaned in frustration as I asked a different way. Perhaps a different approach or route would work with Dyson. We had been going in circles trying to come up with any way or approach to my current dilemma. I hated being in opposite schedules not only from Bo but Fleur as well, yet it provided me the opportunity to plan this more clearly.

"How about a traffic stop?" I suggested trying to find another way, any way to keep my family safe.

"I already told you Lauren, nothing that has to do with the police force. It's bad enough that I'm digging up this information without any sort of clearance. I could get into a lot of trouble." He hissed as I leaned my head against the table completely defeated.

I had been forced to include Dyson in the plan of getting to Gregory this weekend. I wanted to take full advantage of the fact that Bo and Fleur would not be home but I was running out of time. With me getting pulled into the hospital duty I was also being pulled away from the lab, Dr. Reid and Fleur's recovery. Last I had recollected the morning after Bo and I's date was that Fleur was becoming immune to the treatment slowly. Within a month and a half she would be feeling the effects of her illness if I wasn't careful and did something rapidly. I was now growing desperate and didn't know how to tell Bo. I was scared I'd drag her down in the amazing strides she had done in her recovery.

"Listen, I'm sorry that I cannot do much more. Like I said, our best bet is to bait him over here with a false deal, he's big into making money the easy way." He explained as I groaned and got up opening a new bottle by the couch.

"Alright, alright…" I gave in falling back on the couch exhausted from all this planning.

"I'll pose as your lab assistant and if anything happens I'll fuck him up." Dyson assured me and I nodded as I took a swig of my beer even though he couldn't see me. "I gotta get back to work… don't fall asleep with that sixer here, God forbid Bo walks-in on that."

"I won't." I admitted and waved him off as he left.

Suddenly I felt sad and heavy as I took another bitter swig of the cold drink. I didn't want to drink behind my girlfriend's back, it felt wrong and dirty to drink at all with what was happening to my friend as well. With a sigh I grabbed the fresh sixer missing two beers and threw it in the kitchen garbage tying the bag in anger and taking it to the garage with the rest of the bins there. I let out a sigh and went to freshen up before I did anything else.

When I came downstairs I could hear my TV on in the living room. I knew it was too early for either Bo or Fleur to be home. I smiled at the notion thinking about how now most of the time we were together, the three of us. I was astonished to find Tamsin flipping channels on the box with a bored expression that reminded me of college. She looked good, healthier and grumpier which in Tamsin terms was good. As my footsteps resonated in the living room she turned to look at me take a seat in the plush recliner. I dared to give her a hopeful smile and she gave me her trademark half smirk half scowl.

"Hey Flipper." She smiled and I returned it knowing she was going to be alright.

"Haven't heard that since college." I chuckled and she nodded turning to me rolling her eyes.

"I'm sorry I was a huge asshole, thank you for not giving in. I needed someone to say no." she admitted and I nodded. "Also, thank you for keeping Dyson some company."

"We're family." I reminded her and she grinned in her usual mischievous way.

"So… I heard you were hitting the ER pretty hard, how does it feel to be back?" she asked and with how we relaxed with one another I knew it was now over and done with, this is how we operated.

"It's killing me Tams, I still love the rush and the adrenaline but the hours are killing me. I haven't seen much of Fleur or Bo. Can't even work on Fleur's cure tracking down this lead." I lamented feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.

"I heard things are working out with Bo… I'm really glad, Dyson told me he's trying to help you but you're stressing because you've seen how important it is now to contact Fleur's father." she insisted gently this time and I cringed before my face turned to anger and I rose pacing the living room anxiously.

"He's not Fleur's Father, or anything of the like." I fumed as my hands shook. "HE fucking raped her Tamsin, that's what fucking happened, that's why she was all kinds of fucked up. He was her foster brother the motherfucker!"

It was as if everything I had bottled up inside had come out in waves of anger and despair knowing I had to drag this scum back into our proximities. I was enraged to a degree that I wasn't even sure if I wouldn't kill him on the spot. Hippocratic Oath be damned.

"Whoa whoa there!" Tamsin rose to her feet with her eyes wide in surprise as she shook her head vigorously. "Holy fuck!"

"And she tells me this and my fucking heart breaks into a million pieces at the horrors HORRORS this fucking guy did to her. I… I don't know how I'm going to face him!" I confessed as we stopped pacing and stared at one another.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here to help…" Tamsin whispered as my mood softened and I nodded with a tight knot in my throat.

"You're here now Tams… I just need to figure this out so I can just have a normal life with my family." I muttered as she closed the space between us pulling me into a hug.

"We'll figure it out Lau…" she assured me "Even if we have to contact him with a ruse we'll figure it out."

"A ruse?" my brows knotted in confusion as she nodded taking a seat on the couch.

"Think of it, contact him as a pharmaceutical looking for candidates to test a new product risk free winning big bucks. We say a physical is part of the deal and then you can draw whatever genetic material you want from him." She winked and I widened my eyes in surprise.

"I could fucking kiss you." I declared as she made a disgusted face and pushed me away.

"Back Satan, I'm not getting into a brawl with Tit'tanic over there ok." She warned and I had to laugh at her linguistic skills. If I didn't for a fact know she was a Doctor I'd doubt it.

I flopped back on the recliner extending the leg attachment feeling my body tired with fatigue. I hadn't slept much this morning after my 6:00am shift, it wasn't even noon and I should've been sleeping. Suddenly I saw Tamsin fiddling with something in her hands, I realized with a smile it was a joint. She caught my gaze and threw me a smile.

"I went to see that looney Bo sees. It seems to be working for you guys so she told me to partake. I'm not gonna argue." She raised it and I waved her to light it.

"I might as well." I muttered and Tamsin nodded.

"Come on, let's just get baked like in college and watch a documentary." She suggested and I smiled.

"Alright." I agreed.

In the end we had settled on a medical show about obscure diseases. We were high as a kite completely engrossed into it as we discussed different possibilities and techniques. I had missed her, my best friend, I didn't realize how much until I blew up. We talked about everything and anything. I told her all about Bo and how we had ended up together, how I loved her and how she loved our daughter. She was genuinely happy for me and I could tell she had missed me too.

After a little while we switched to play a game on Bo's console which she had left here after playing with Fleur. I beat Tamsin in a couple of rounds of some shooting game before she gave up and left. It wasn't much later that I ravaged the fridge and a couple of capri-suns. I was flipping the channels when I heard the door on the back close. My smile grew wide because only Ryan and Bo used that door. Her earthy scent enveloped me before she came into view and above me on the couch she had leaned over to kiss me as she giggled.

"Another day another dollar" she joked with a fake southern accent and I laughed.

"Oh Bo" I sighed happily. "Come here I've missed you."

She took off her boots and jacket before plopping down on the couch with me stretching her arm above the backrest letting me cuddle into her side. I wrapped my arms around her waist as I breathed her in once more.

"I might've been a bad girl." I confessed as Bo tsk'd looking at my relaxed stance.

"Ohhh come on Doctor, tell me what you did." She urged.

"Tamsin came over and we smoked. She's seeing Dr. Marquise now and looking a hell of a lot better." I mumbled hoping she wouldn't be mad.

"Oh Doctor Lewis, you naughty girl, self-medicating and all that!" Bo exclaimed as I giggled and she squeezed me to her "I knew it smelled good in here."

"I guess I needed it after the ER shifts" I mentioned and I felt her kiss the top of my head.

"I would've rolled for you if you wanted to smoke Lau." Bo admitted and I rolled my eyes with a smile.

"I have a small roach left, are you decompressing with me or not?" I huffed as Bo nodded fervently.

"Hell yes, have you met my senior supervisor? Apparently he keeps grilling into me that I'm too tall for TV… as if the fucking cameras don't have height settings." She grumbled as I chuckled and lit up the joint.

We smoked listening to the music channel. Bo had suggested we opened some windows and we did before going back to melt on the couch. She stretched leisurely with both arms drapped against the back rest. I took the opportunity to curl onto her side once more wrapping my arms around her waist while she took the remote.

"How was work?" I asked as she flipped channels now settling on the sports news.

"It was good, I wrote a piece for this on the Marlies so I wanted to see if it aired." She mentioned as I felt her thumb draw circled on my skin.

"I hope you're getting paid for writing something another reporter will read on TV" I grumped anxious to see Bo on the show she followed religiously all the time.

"Stepping stones baby, this job is all about the stepping stones." She chuckled after zoning into the news.

Bo played with my hair softly and I felt my eyes flutter as she talked to me about baseball. I had fallen asleep on top of Bo as she tried to explain to me baseball stats. When I woke up I was curled up on the couch with a blanket over me and a pillow beneath my head instead of the brunette. The clock on top of the TV read six and I slowly heard the sounds of hushed voices in the kitchen. I slowly stretched and got up before turning around witnessing Bo and Fleur eating Thai food take-out on the kitchen counter. Bo was showing Fleur how to eat with chopsticks and I saw it was a completely different way from how I had showed her. I made a mental note and moved my feet to join them in the kitchen.

"Momma you're awake!" Fleur noted as Bo turned around just as I had reached her putting my hand on her shoulder.

"I am, this smells delicious." I smiled slowly as Bo chuckled and fed me some noodles expertly from her plate.

"Sit down I'll fix you a plate." The older brunette instructed knowingly as I sat next to Fleur while she handed me a cup of soda.

"Mom was telling me Kenzie's coming with us on our trip!" Fleur beamed and Bo nodded confirming it.

"Well that's great, I hope you guys have a great time. Remember to get me a souvenir." I smile and Fleur nodded as Bo passed me a plate all piled up.

"Thanks" I whispered blushing as she winked at me with a smile.

"Fleur and I are going to watch the game tonight and possibly, if she's good, watch a scary movie together." Bo announced and I felt my heart flutter as our girl laughed and promised to be good.

"I have some time to kill with you guys before I leave." I assured with a smile.

It was late afternoon and I was tired, as per usual now I was always tired. I didn't really know how I was a mother and an ER Doctor before, right now it was challenging beyond belief. The fact that two of my shifts were merging since the relieving Doctor had an emergency of his own wasn't helping my case any. I was also frustrated mentally knowing things were about to go down soon. I had spoken with Bo to take care of Fleur's return to the ice. I had wanted to be there but I couldn't just up and leave.

Aside from that I was frustrated sexually since Bo and I hadn't been intimate again. It wasn't that I was expecting it, far from it. It was just the mere fact that every time she touched me my skin felt like it was on fire whether she had meant to or not. I wanted to remain respectful to Bo, I didn't want to push for anything but I caught myself thinking about her in that way more and more as she flaunted around in her sports bra every morning. Our phone conversation hadn't helped as she sultry suggested she needed a house call.

"Dr. Lewis Trauma Bay 2" I heard over the intercom as I rushed through to the designated area.

When I got there it was horrific. There was blood everywhere and I listened carefully at the patient condition as the EMT spouted out details. It was a car crash, a young girl around Fleur's age, I realized as my heart dropped. She had been pulled out from the wreckage with the Jaws of Life and miraculously had made it alive to the hospital. I got to work quickly and diligently as I tried to save this young girl's life. My mind couldn't help but jump to my own sick girl and I knew, I knew I had to save them.

In the end I sat numbly looking off in the distance as my chest heaved. The cars passing by below me sounded off in like toys. I hadn't come here in so long, perhaps since my residency. My phone buzzed in my hand and I looked down to see a message from Dyson.

 _ **Took the bait, it's all in motion. Saturday morning 11:00am.**_

 _ **-Dy**_

I sighed and scrolled down to re-read Bo's message.

 _ **Sorry, but they're down by 1, Fleur's a bit frustrated but hopefully she'll get out of this funk soon, I just had a talk with her and gave her advice. Miss you too, I hope your case isn't too bad. Come over when you're done I'll leave the backdoor unlocked for you.**_

 _ **-Bo**_

With a heavy heart I decided to go to my family. There was nothing more I could do here and with that knowledge I left the rooftop and back inside. I said a small positive thought for Rebbeca, the girl I had lost today and like times before I tried to leave it here in the air so I wouldn't take it with me home.

I took a quick shower wanting to make the end of Fleur's game and see if they had been able to turn it around. Bo sounded positive and I knew she was probably enjoying her first time seeing Fleur on the ice. She was way smarter than me on sports and she could fully appreciate the things Fleur was doing much more than I could. I had wanted to be there to experience the moment with both of them, I wanted to surprise Bo with Fleur's clearance to use the ice but life had unexpected things for me.

The drive to the arena was full of phone calls through my wireless headset. I needed to talk to Dyson and Tamsin to make sure the operation regarding Gregory was planned out flawlessly. Now that Tamsin was sober, she and Dyson seemed to have fallen in love all over again. Tamsin had been taking kickboxing in his gym to double as my assistant in case Gregory got violent at some point. I pulled up to the arena after hanging up with the due finishing the coordination for past tomorrow. Deep down it was killing me to be hiding such things from Bo.

As I crossed the doors several spectators were already leaving as the horns blared signaling the end of the game. I was surprised by the amount of Boos coming from the crowd and I furrowed my brow bracing for the not so happy ending. I was walking up the steps when a fellow parent stopped me.

"Doctor Lewis, shame about The Flower, she shouldn't have gotten benched in my opinion. The risky move paid off." He shook his head and moved along as I looked for Bo finding Ryan instead.

He looked absolutely hilarious but was fully decked out in Fleur's team colours. It looked like some sort of different apparel but he got the colours right. He noticed me approaching and waved me over with a disappointed smile. I closed the distance between us pulling my leather jacket closer against the cold of the ice.

"Hey there Doc, glad to see you." He mentioned and I nodded.

"What's up Ryan, I saw a couple of parents pretty upset about things." I asked slightly worried.

"Well, for some odd reason the coach benched Fleur the whole third period. I mean she changed out of turn and ended up scoring the lone goal to get them back in the game but the woman seemed like a bitch." Ryan grumbled and I went rigid.

"The coach benched her the whole period?" I shook my head not wanting to deal with this again.

"The whole fucking thing. I'm going out to get some fresh air before I go give her a piece of my mind." Ryan huffed and I frowned.

"Where's Bo?" I asked as he pointed at her coming up the steps.

My breath caught in my throat as my pulse quickened. She looked so casual yet stunning it was unbelievable. She had a pair of black jeans that hugged her every curve like a second skin, she was wearing that jersey I absolutely adored on her since it hugged her in all the right places making her cleavage pop even then. I tried to swallow before licking my lips as my eyes traveled to her face framed by her hair and Fleur's hat backwards. I was speechless, but as our eyes found one another's they spoke all the things we wanted to say to one another and the rest of my day was forgotten.

"Hey." She whispered smiling as I enveloped I breathed her in feeling her wash away all my troubles as she pulled me closer.

"You're good now" she assured me and I ventured a small kiss on her lips.

I wasn't quite sure how Bo felt about public displays of affection, so these were uncharted waters for me. I had missed her so much that not feeling her close or kissing her lips was out of the question. She gave me a smile as we parted and I felt myself get lost in her beautiful eyes as she looked at me as if I was the best thing in the world. Bo filled my heart so much it was almost impossible to believe she wasn't number one in it.

"I know, all I need to be great is my SmallFry now but I heard she got benched after scoring a goal." I frowned talking about my number one as I saw a burning anger come across Bo's features.

"First of all, the coach didn't let me in the room to give Fleur her stuff. Then I advised Fleur to take a chance with a line change to stir up the lines-" I stopped her knowing this was all flying over my head.

"Bo I don't understand those terms, did she deserve to be benched?" I asked as she thought about it.

"No, if it was that severe the coach would've disciplined Chloe-Grace as well, she only benched Fleur. It attributed a chewing out on the bench not a whole benching of the third period." She looked truthful and I believed her.

"I can't believe Nadia would do that!" I was angry now but in reality I had a pretty good idea why she had done this and it infuriated me.

"I want to hurry, Fleur might be upset." Bo mentioned looking at the players entrance and I nodded.

Bo grabbed my hand making my heart race. Reality was Nadia was not just Fleur's coach, she was also at some point a fling. We met at a bar and had a one night stand and that was meant to be it. Later on when she turned out to be Fleur's coach things got complicated in a way that I wasn't ready for. In the end I made it clear to Nadia I didn't want anything with her and even though she had backed off mostly, this showed me there was more simmering beneath the surface.

Bo came to a stop as my phone started ringing and I realized it was Dyson. He wouldn't be calling if it wasn't about Gregory so I knew I had to take this. As much as I wanted to deal with Nadia I trusted Bo to hold up the fort while I was gone for a few minutes.

"I have to step outside and take this." I mentioned once I got Bo's attention and she nodded understanding.

I walked briskly outside and took the call. Dyson was briefing me about the tail he had set up on Gregory. It seemed he was making his way to the city earlier than we expected so this could present a problem. My heart raced as I raised my voice a bit and leaned against the wall trying to figure out what to do now. Dyson wanted one more person to help tail the guy with more accuracy.

"You know, I'm not nosey but I heard all of that Doc." I heard Ryan's voice come into my ears as I cringed.

"Ryan I can explai-"

"I don't need to hear an explanation. I'm not as dumb as I look, I can put two and two together. Sounds like Dyson needs help tailing someone you need to keep tabs on." Ryan explained and I nodded.

"He will tell you what you need to know." I admitted and he nodded. "Thanks Ryan, you're a true friend."

"My niece needs me" he winked at me "I'll call him that on my way, I can trust you are good to take the girl's home?"

"Of course… Ryan if we can keep this between us…" I admitted and he nodded before we parted ways.

I felt heavier and lighter at the same time when I walked back into the arena. I was uncertain what was going to happen, I was scared for Bo and Fleur's well-being if this blew over but I could only take things one second at a time. When I looked at the wall Bo was at I saw Nadia right in her face. Bo's teeth were clenched, her knuckles white as she clenched them and a dark look across her features as the coach poked Bo in the chest.

It looked like Bo had had enough as I started to run towards them and she pushed back hard.

"Nadia!" I called out firmly as the tanned woman turned to me.

She smiled sickeningly at me like she always did and it only made my anger rise even more. Who did she think she was manhandling my girlfriend!? I had also not missed the fact that she had denied Bo access to Fleur at some point and benched our girl out of blatant jealousy.

"Lauren, there you are! I was beginning to worry, this lunatic has been preaching up and down that she's Fleur's mother." Nadia pointed at Bo who I could see was at the end of her wit.

"This is Bo Denis, Coach Karkanis this is Fleur's other Mother yes." I replied coldly to drive the point across.

Nadia met my eyes as if daring me to continue. I could see the wheels in her head turning and I wanted her to do nothing else but drop it. Her face turned into an angry scowl and she roared in the now empty hallway.

"You're Fleur's mother." Nadia was angry as I could see her eyes go from Bo to me.

"And so is she. She's also my girlfriend." I responded without a doubt stepping closer to Bo ever so slightly.

"Wow… what an irony. Isn't it too early for Fleur to be calling the girlfriend Mom?" she was hurt, I knew why but I didn't care, this wasn't her business.

"I'm Fleur's biological mother." Bo fumed from the corner as I cringed not wanting her to say that.

In the blink of an eye Nadia had just crossed Bo in the face with a solid punch. I quickly got between them shoving the other woman. The look I had seen cross Bo's face scared me and I tried to diffuse the situation rapidly for Nadia's sake. I didn't need to be the scientist that I was to know Bo could probably throw down, she was a child that had to hit the street at some point and those were hard times.

"I can't believe you stooping down so goddamn low." Nadia countered and I crossed the space between us getting in her face and slapping her hard.

"Next time you take your anger out on my child or my lover I will fucking end you." I warned and with one last hurt look Nadia left.

I turned to Bo as I could see the rage coming off her in waves. I could see that had I not been here it would've probably ended up way worse for the coach. I was about to explain when she shook her head and nodded behind me. I saw Fleur walk up to us shoulders slumped in anger. I rushed to her and wrapped my arms around her kissing the top of her head. The small girl turned her eyes towards he mother and I flinched seeing that her eye was starting to turn black already. Fleur escaped my embrace and rushed to Bo.

"What happened Mom?" Fleur asked as Bo leaned down and the girl caressed her face where she had just been punched.

"It doesn't matter now Fleur, do you have everything?" Bo asked and she nodded holding onto both our hands leading us out.

"Momma I'm so glad you didn't see the joke of a third period we had, I can't believe I got benched for getting creative and scoring a goal." Fleur fumed as we walked outside.

I drove as Bo sat in the passenger seat quietly. Fleur was talking on and on about her game just letting it all out and explaining to me what had happened. I felt bad, for Fleur and Bo. I had gotten them in this debacle without wanting to and the worse part was, I had distanced myself from Nadia trying to protect my child. Now she was just using her against me. I needed to talk to Bo and let her know what had happened. I didn't want to be one of those couples who kept secret after secret from one another. Gregory was one thing but Nadia I would tell her. She deserved to know why she got punched in the face no less.

"I'm going to take us to mine, Kenzie sent me a text earlier about having a private meeting" I explained with a wink at Bo making her laugh.

"Sounds good, oh Lau you have solid gold sometimes." Bo admitted as I chuckled.

"Ugh you adults and your weird conversations!" Fleur huffed as we laughed.

As always after a game Fleur ran into the bathroom to get herself clean. We took our shoes and coats off and stretched out as Bo threw herself on my couch. I kissed the top of her head about to go off to find her a bag of peas for her eye but she held my hand gently as she held my gaze. She gave me a pleading look and a smile as she tugged on my hand and I melted on the spot. Bo was absolutely adorable, this is definitely where Fleur got it from.

I sat next to her and before long she was just blatantly staring at me with the most loving expression on her face. I couldn't take it much longer without jumping her bones, it was such a small gesture but it filled my heart to the brim.

"Bo come on, you're staring." I laughed as she smiled at me before answering.

"I know." She simply put it looking beautiful.

"I hope this doesn't affect work." I frowned as I caressed her black eye.

"No, it's all written so no worries" she brushed off.

"I'm sorry about Nadia… I never thought she would punch you. She's just got some unresolved anger issues." I admitted angrily, I didn't want to expose the truth with Fleur so close to us.

"You know I could've handled myself." She added smugly and I nodded, not doubting it.

"I know you would've destroyed her so I just took pre-emptive measures." I smiled as I brushed her beautiful hair off her face.

"You're so hot when you're angry." she chuckled and she looked so incredibly beautiful at that moment that I couldn't contain myself.

My lips found her own as I pushed her back on the couch softly. I listened as she whimpered into my mouth and I felt myself weaken at the knees from the sound as I licked her lower lip. She parted for me and we started making out in a steady rhythm. I missed her so much that I felt my body melt onto hers giving myself completely into the kiss as she pulled me closer.

We both tensed as we heard a door and footsteps I pulled back panting knowing it was Fleur. I looked behind the couch and there she was hair in soft waves framing her pretty face as her eyes shone with mischief. Her brown eyes were much like her mother's and once more I felt my heart swell at how much she really looked like Bo. I smiled and Fleur shook her head in mock disapproval.

"What do you have to say for yourselves?" Fleur spoke and then looked at Bo beneath me.

"Call Chloe-Grace?" Bo offered with a shrug and Fleur giggled.

"You too are incorrigible!" Fleur declared as we laughed. "And I already did. I know we're supposed to have dinner together tonight, but can I please go over to Chloe's? I won't see her after tomorrow when we're in Montreal."

"What do you think, does she get off the hook for ditching us for dinner?" I asked Bo as she deliberated.

"I think she earned it with that breakaway goal on the backhand." Bo grinned as Fleur dropped something on her chest and walked out with a parting comment.

"Later losers, don't make me a sister alright?"

"That's it no more hanging out with Kenzie!" I laughed after she had gone shaking my head at my girl.

I watched Bo examine a puck in her hand and I suspected it was Fleur's goal puck. I knew this was something special and I stayed quiet for a while to let Bo have this moment. After a bit I decided to chime in gently.

"She's very sweet. I'm happy you were there for her today. Sports is something beyond me, but I see it every morning how it brings you two together." I whispered.

"She's amazing, you've done so good with her… so polite and educated." Bo whispered in awe.

"It's all you and her… _us_ … she was good by herself as she grew into her own little person. I knew I wasn't your biggest fan when we met…But I knew you had to be good if she was this good Bo… and you are." I admitted and she searched my eyes for confirmation.

Before I knew it we were making out hot and heavy on the couch as our tongues battled one another. I moaned deeply into her mouth feeling myself disappear in her lips and her touch. I could feel we were going a lot faster than we had before and it scared me for a second that perhaps Bo wasn't really here with me and instead it could've been her falling back onto old habits.

"Baby please." I moaned as she kissed down my neck "I can't catch my breath do… do you want to slow down?"

She chuckled against my neck yet within seconds our clothes were off and I felt on fire anywhere she touched. I was apprehensive but my body wanted her so damn much I didn't know what to do.

"It's ok baby just relax… I'm **me** …" she cooed as I nodded.

"I… you'd tell me right?" I hated how vulnerable my voice sounded.

"Of course baby, I'd get away from you. I wouldn't want that for us… Not… not after that beautiful night you gave me Lau" she whispered and I felt my hear swell with emotion at her care.

In a whirlwind of passion we had ended up naked in my shower as she ravished me completely in a way that I didn't even think was possible. Bo's expert movements with her tongue worried me at first but her soothing words and gentle caresses kept me reassured we were both in the same glorious moment. After she had given me the most amazing orgasm of my life I stood on shaky legs as she lathered and washed my body carefully.

I had followed the wave of her hips and her amazing ass into the room. Her laughter filled the room as she told me some story about Ryan getting stood up. Quite honestly I couldn't follow anything that wasn't her body right ow. It was as if my body had short circuited and as she turned around to ask me something her beautiful breasts came into view.

My grin was wide as I met her eyes and perhaps it was the look I gave her but she fell back onto the bed without breaking our gaze beckoning me to join her. I didn't have to be told twice and I quickly closed the gap between us pressing my naked body against hers. She let out a moan and I smiled ducking my head against her neck and licking her earlobe. Her arms wrapped around me and I felt her nails scrape my skin and I hissed in pleasure against her ear.

As if prompted her hips crashed into mine and met them with a long moan of my own. She shivered beneath me as her ragged breath caressed my head and my name fell from her lips as I took her breast in my mouth. Her skin was so soft but I could feel the hard muscle of her abs and thighs as my hand traveled between us. Her breaths quickened as she met my eyes and I gave her nipple a quick nip before pulling away.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked in a husked voice as she shook her head.

"No." she whispered and I kissed where her heart hammered in her rib cage.

Her fingers tangled in my hair as I teased her lips between her legs not daring to enter her yet. Her eyes fluttered close as a moan built from her throat and a sigh escaped her lips. I kissed down to her hip bone as her hips raised to meet my hand and I groaned biting her hip.

"Be patient baby." I shushed her as I heard her whimper in anticipation.

I kissed up and down her thighs and then placed a few strategic kisses along her softest flesh while my fingers parted her folds finally. I heard the deep groan tear from her throat and my moan was equally loud as I felt the wetness of her core.

"Ugh you're dripping baby." I hissed in pleasure and she nodded licking her lips and pulling my face towards her.

We met in a searing kiss as I took the change to enter her. She gasped into my mouth pulling back and arching into me while gripping onto my back. This was what I wanted to evoke in Bo every single time, I wanted her to feel this good anytime she was with me. I buried my head on her neck feeling myself wet again from how good I felt within her. We were connected and I could tell she felt the same as she pulled me even closer.

I had stayed still to give her to adjust as her chest heaved beneath me. I felt her bite my earlobe as she purred in my ear to take her slow. I drawled out a slow and steady rhythm as her soft moans and sighs encouraged me and before I knew it her hips were moving against my wrists wanting more.

"Tell me what you need." I moaned into her ear as she whimpered.

"I need more Lauren." She whispered taking hold of my soul "I need you"

I picked up a deeper rhythm as her hips met my movements and she held me against her while my name fell from her lips continuously. She shook beneath me and I knew she was close as I quickened my pace pressing my thumb against her swollen mound with each pass.

"Come on baby, I know you're so close, I need you too Bo. I love you." I whispered as stilled her hips.

Her movements became erratic as I felt her bite my shoulder and a long moan escaped her. I knew this was it from how she felt against my digits and pressed to the height of her pleasure. After a few minutes I rolled off her as we both panted in extersion. I turned to look at her when I heard her laughing and I was suddenly puzzled. Her laughter filled the room and it was downright contagious.

"You are amazing." She breathed before turning to me and pulling me close. "I'm just so happy right now.

I laughed and kissed her hair before pulling her close against me and draping the covers atop us feeling completely content. She laid her head on my chest as I played with her hair making yo mama jokes as her laughter filled the room. For a second I wished things could stay as perfect as they were in this moment right now, but like the scientist in me knew, the only constant in life was change. I didn't know what change was heading towards us, good or bad, but it was coming.


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks guys for all the patience, was about to post this chapter two nights ago when my computer decided to crash and delete 80% of it. I hope you guys enjoy this instalment and leave some juicy reviews!**

 **Thanks for the patience and the love! Shout out to all of you beauties who followed me on twitter! Last_Dragomir**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 15:**

I let the water wash over every aching muscle from my amazing night with Bo as I leaned my head against the blue tiled wall. I tried to calm my racing heart as I struggled to reel in my emotions. I had let my inhibitions go and thrown myself at Bo naked before Fleur had knocked on the bathroom door this morning. Now that I thought of it, the move was probably reckless of me but being with Bo made me lose my constraints. I promised myself to thread more carefully next time, I didn't want to cause Bo some discomfort because of my eagerness.

I threw a blue tank-top on and some jeans before heading out to the kitchen. I smiled listening to the sound of their workout which was now a familiar tune to my ears moving to the pot of coffee Fleur had put on for some and turned on the TV on SportsNet Central for Bo to listen to the sporting news. I caught myself humming the stupid theme song as I prepared some breakfast and I bit my lip to contain my happiness. Truth was I felt like this was a dream I would snap awake from at any moment now.

I loved the way Bo had fallen into the sync of our lives not only giving me the help and understanding I always needed, but enriching our lives with her presence. She was like a new exciting perspective to a conundrum I had long since given up on; love. The mere fact that I felt the way I did with Bo was indescribable. The way she made me feel last night was beyond anything I had ever thought possible and then some. It was as if she had taken my heart in her hands and with the utmost care soothed my soul. Last night Bo had taken to the task of taking our physical connection and our emotional connection to make it one, today my heart soared at the results.

My thoughts were interrupted as I heard Fleur's laughter and their footsteps coming up the stairs. I smiled widely finishing breakfast and serving it promptly as Chloe politely took a seat and Bo served herself some coffee. Fleur gave me a hug as she passed by and I threw a shirt at Bo who gave me that look that left me breathless as she mumbled a 'thank you'. I kissed her cheek and urged her to eat while I topped myself up again.

I don't think I had ever been as happy as I was right then seeing Bo and Fleur sitting at the table laughing with Chloe. I leaned against Bo with a smile making small talk about our day ahead and cherished the moment. It made all those times I had sat with Fleur for breakfast pale in comparison. Don't get me wrong I loved and appreciated all the memories I had about Fleur's upbringing, the good, the bad and the ugly but now with Bo things had taken a new perspective that filled my soul whole. I could see Fleur was happy in a way that I had never been able to fill, her connection with Bo was something neither of them expected but both of them needed. In spite of Fleur's illness we were trying to live a healthy, normal life for all of us.

It was as if the quick thought that jumped into my mind sobered every muscle of my being with realization. I was happy, yet there was this storm brewing and it was dangerously close to making landfall. My heart hammered in my chest erratically as I felt the panic spreading from the recess of my mind where I had pushed it off to. I pinched the bridge of my nose while pulling away from Bo and producing my phone to call Dyson.

"Lauren, I was about to call you." Dyson's voice startled me as I watched Chloe and Fleur run off to get Ryan and Bo started clearing the table.

"I'm not going to like this." I grumbled keeping my voice hushed and he sighed.

"Not at all. I've picked up a trail from Gregory, he's going to be hitting the city early." Dyson's words hit me like a bucket of cold water.

"I… I thought we had arranged for tomorrow, I cannot have him here today Dyson. Fleur has a fundraiser and Nadia is giving Bo a hard time." I explained with a groan as I went deeper into the house.

"We did arrange for tomorrow Lau. I think he's just going on a whim to get here earlier. I'll come by the fundraiser and keep you guys safe. I have a friend in Dallas monitoring his every move with a couple of field officers. Let's say I called in the only favour I could ever call in regards to this Gregory." He explained as I felt a migraine coming on.

"How long before he gets here?" I closed my eyes begging the stars that it wasn't before they left.

"If he doesn't make any stops he should be in Toronto by nine tonight." Dyson lamented and I felt the wind get knocked out of me.

"Fleur and Bo leave at 11:00pm there's just…" I faded off knowing Dyson already knew my fears.

"Lauren we have your back, its ok. We're almost there, one more day and this fucker is out of our lives forever. If he gets too close for comfort we'll do something I swear." Dyson assured me and with that and a few more instructions we hung up.

I heard the doorbell and let Bo know I would get it wanting nothing but to get distracted from the impending situation. Chloe's Father Donovan was here to get the details of the fundraiser out of the way. I sighed relieved for the normalcy of the impending conversation as I invited him inside to discuss the details. His pressed boating shorts and shoes looking crisp with his pink polo shirt.

"How are you doing Doctor Lewis? We missed you at yesterday's game, although thanks to that brunette who advised The Flower she got the goal." Donovan smiled at me.

"I'm covering some shifts at the ER for another Doctor so I'm just swamped lately. Fleur's other mother was with her yesterday, so the credit goes all to her." I explained with a smile.

"Babe if Fleur comes back tell her not to rush, I have to go take a shower before anything." Bo mentioned from the kitchen as if on cue and I blushed.

"I will." I called out as I smiled at Donovan "Sorry about that."

"Nonsense, it's your house. Christoph and I are the same with Chloe-Grace." He smiled widely. "I actually came by to thank you guys for helping Chloe with today's fundraiser she told me you guys had offered to step up in the co-op."

"Absolutely, of course we would. Chloe has been nothing but inseparable from Fleur ever since you guys moved here." I offered happily.

"We highly appreciate it. So, I'm just talking the parents of the neighborhood to explain today's fundraiser. We'll meet up at the arena from there everyone will get an address for a car garage and since it's nice and hot out we're going to try a car wash. As always there's really good prizes that have been donated which we'll discuss at the venue." He explained and I nodded.

"We'll be there within half an hour to join the group as listed Donovan, no worries at all." I assured him and he debated something before speaking up.

"I know Christoph and I are not veterans in the neighborhood but we hear things going around. I don't mean to overstep and I've heard whispers in the grapevine about Coach K and you." He shook his head when I tried to interject and continued. "I didn't care to believe it, what you do with your personal life is yours Doctor. However last night I saw some odd behaviour from the coach and it kind of confirmed her jealousy. Consider this a friendly warning, Kristal and Coach K are the organizers today."

"I appreciate the heads-up." I stressed.

After a few more parting words and plans to meet up later during the event Donovan left. As if my life wasn't complicated enough with all that was happening, now I had crazy ex's to worry about. This was going to be a long nerve-wracking day. And to think that when I opened my eyes this morning I made a mental note to enjoy every second of the day with my girls before they left. Bo's earthy smell enveloped me before her arms stretched while I walked into them as they found my waist and for a few breaths I forgot every problem I had at the moment.

"What's wrong babe?" she asked as I breathed her in once more.

"Krystal and Nadia are both in the organizing council today… I have no doubt they'll be difficult." I groaned regretting the harshness of the day already.

"Why though, I mean, not that I don't love my new shiner but…" she rolled her eyes and I took a good look at Bo's bruised face.

I felt sad that Bo was hurt because of me, because of my past. It was something that replayed in my mind and the anger simmered within me. This is exactly why I wanted to be careful when I had saw anyone new. I was a mother and couldn't have crazy girlfriends or ex-girlfriends coming around my daughter, yet here it was happening.

"They are both exes of mine, Bo." I cringed.

Bo let my hands drop and started pacing in anger. I could see her jaw set in anger as her brow furrowed with thought. I flinched at her sudden mood swing not wanting her anger directed towards me. I looked down to cover the fact that my bottom lip quivered at the implications of her outburst. It was as if she could sense my shift and her hands found my own as she kindly found my eyes.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm just upset she hurt our daughter." Bo's firmness and conviction resonated with me as she explained.

"I am too Bo, I have that one written down with every intent of cashing it." I responded wanting nothing more than to solve this Nadia situation.

"We all have a past and you love me in spite of mine, I won't hold yours against you. I WILL however go down there and make sure our daughter gets treated fairly." she raged with a passion that took my breath away.

"I absolutely adore when you get all Lioness about our child." I confessed and Bo blushed beautifully.

After that Bo left to get Ryan ready while Fleur, Chloe and I left towards the arena. The girls were bouncing with excitement in the back as I drove. They couldn't stop yapping about the team and the friends they were about to see in the hockey tournament this weekend. Chloe was sad that Fleur would be gone for most of it, but Fleur was promising to bring her a souvenir from Montreal.

Chloe-Grace had moved here less than a year ago with her fathers. They had been living in California before but a job offer brought them to Toronto which Chloe took in stride. Apparently the perky blonde previously had a big interest of hockey in California but the girl's league had given her all that she had to learn. It wasn't hard for Chloe-Grace to become Fleur's best friend, all it took was them walking into the classroom with the same player's jersey. Sadly around the time Chloe earned assistant captaincy was when Fleur got sick to the point of us having to pull her out of daily activities. It was hard to explain to Chloe-Grace how come Fleur couldn't hang out or play, why she wasn't home or in the hospital. Now they were inseparable every chance they got.

When we got to the arena the girls hurried out of the car with their shorts and hockey jerseys. After a few steps Fleur turned and gave me a smile that looked so much like Bo's it warmed my heart immensely. She stretched out her hand and waited for me as Chloe held-up a bit ahead as well. I took my daughter's soft hand and let out a sigh feeling her take my worries away. Fleur immediately strengthened my resolve, I had to do this for her and with them both leaving soon it would be like it never happened at all. I just had to grit my teeth and get it done before my girl's came back from the trip on Monday morning.

As I walked into the arena Fleur and Chloe-Grace took off to their friends as I saw a couple of moms' wave at me hello. I kept my eye on the '29' black and gold jersey and followed it to the table the rest of her team was set-up. I felt someone tap my shoulder and I turned to meet the towering muscle ridden man with the gentle smile and balding head. He would look like a biker if he wasn't wearing his daughter's jersey which was bright pink.

"Lauren! I didn't think I'd see you until the New Year's tourney." Bruce boomed and I smiled brightly at him.

"Bruce, it's been so long!" I realized and he chuckled.

"Alisson wanted to take a trip down and see the girls. How are you doing? You look great!" he noted and I blushed.

"I'm good Bruce, you know taking life as it comes." I sighed with a bashful smile as I thought about how life had brought me Bo. "I hope Ali finds Flower she misses her."

"You know Doc, if I hadn't seen your face just now I wouldn't believe the rumours but wow when am I going to meet her?" Bruce teased me as I blushed even deeper.

"It's Fleur's mother…" I whispered as he did a double take on me.

"I thought you hated her since you had laid eyes on her!" Bruce laughed loudly as people turned to look at us.

"What can I say Bruce… once I gave her a chance and saw how amazing and honest she is with Fleur I couldn't resist at all." I smiled thinking of Bo and how she had filled my soul.

"That sounds like a woman I want to meet." Bruce patted me in the back.

We caught up a bit more for a few minutes more as I kept feeling better and better about my day. Bruce had been a great friend since Fleur's early childhood, his daughter Alisson was Fleur's best friend since kindergarten so we saw a lot of each other. Before Fleur's birthday this year Alisson had been drafted to an older hockey squad since she was slightly older than Fleur and they had moved in hopes of a scholarship. Bruce had been a sort of confidant within the days I had stumbled upon Fleur meeting Bo for the first time and he was the one that had tried to make me see how unreasonable I had been. We agreed for dinner at the beginning of the week since they'd be in town when Fleur came back from her trip with Bo.

Walking towards the table where Fleur's team was I felt a tug and with a start I found myself in the equipment hallway. I groaned as I saw Nadia's face there giving me a smug look as she crossed her arms across her chest leaning against the wall. Her sports jacket was open revealing a yellow polka-dot bikini and short shorts, her hair was held back by the team cap making her green eyes pop. I scowled scolding myself internally for ever seducing the woman into bed in the first place. I was angry I had gaged this woman wrongly and considered her more mature than she was.

"I've been texting you all morning, why haven't you replied?" Nadia asked innocently as I looked at her incredously.

"Uh, maybe because you punched my girlfriend last night you fucking creep." I snapped and her face turned from sweet to enraged in two seconds.

"I can't fucking believe you're fucking dating that addict Lauren!" her voice raised a bit and I shoved her into the wall harshly.

"Don't you fucking dare Nadia…" I warned as she squinted at me in warning.

"I'm doing this for your own good, and Fleur's Lauren. Tell her to leave, let's get things back to how they were and I'll stop my shit. I'll forgive you." Nadia offered and I shook my head as I started walking away.

"You're fucking crazy, leave us alone Nadia. You don't know what you're getting into." I warned and walked off.

I joined Fleur and Chloe-Grace with some of the parents while we waited for instructions. Nadia had come back looking increasingly angry by the minute as she sat down next to Krystal and they explained to us that there was going to be a car wash today. The kids were excited, the parents were eager to enjoy the last warm day of the season and I was ready to spend some time with our little motley-crew of a family. We were each given a different address for a gas station selected for each team. I didn't quite recognize the address I was given but I sent it to Bo urging them to meet us there. Krystal had given me a stupid smirk wishing me good luck and I nodded not wanting to get into an argument.

"Momma, you completely missed the announcement of the prize!" Fleur rolled her eyes at me with a huge smile on her face as we walked out.

"Tell me then, what did I miss ladies?" I asked with a smile as they waited for me to open the car and get in.

"You're gonna flip! WE'RE gonna flip if we get it!" Chloe raved as she put her seatbelt on and Fleur nodded dramatically.

"Momma, the winner of today's fundraiser gets a signed official game used Marc-Andre Fleury stick and catching glove!" Fleur almost squealed.

"Really?" I asked excited for Fleur knowing Bo was going to flip out as well.

"YESSS!" Both tweens exclaimed from the back as I laughed.

The rest of the drive was them raving about the team they loved so much and the goalie that had brought them together. Chloe-Grace was always raving that her cousin played for the Penguins and we always nodded to it and dismissed it so when she mentioned it just now Fleur's answer was just 'I know'. My phone vibrated in my pocket but I dismissed it knowing I was close to the gas station since the GPS had told me so.

I was hoping to see some change in the neighborhood soon but all I could see was more and more badly shaped houses. I hoped against all odds I had the wrong address but in the end, in the pit of my stomach, I knew Nadia was doing this on purpose. It angered me beyond belief that she was doing this to me and using my own daughter for this. It was subtle enough I couldn't really report it to the board and Krystal would support her. I parked my car next to Ryan's blue import as he gave us a sad smile.

"Where's Mom Uncle Ryan?" Fleur asked excitedly as he pointed at the convenience store and she took off that way.

"Ryan this is Chloe-Grace, Chloe this is our very good friend Ryan." I mentioned as Ryan gave her a huge smile.

"Are we gonna kick butts and wash some cars?" he asked enthusiastically as I started walking away to find Bo while I heard Chloe engage Ryan.

Fleur had almost walked into Bo coming out of the small store. Bo gave her a huge smile and I weakened at the knees at all the love I saw in her eyes for the little girl. Bo had a disadvantageous start but so far she was an amazing mother. She loved Fleur so deeply, she treated her like an adult and gave her sound real advice in things that mattered to our little girl. You could tell that when Fleur talked to Bo she listened intently and analyzed every little thing. Everything about Fleur was important to Bo and that made me fall in love even more.

Fleur shot off speaking about the prizes they could win and how excited she was about it. She had been a fan of Marc-Andre Fleury since she was young, she had followed the Penguins after a whim Tamsin had to watch a game some night. After seeing the goalie making superhuman save after superhuman save she just fell in love with the team easily. It was heavily ironic to me that years later she would meet her mother for the first time and Bo would turn out to be such a Penguins fan herself. Sometimes the Universe eluded my scientific mind.

"Fleur let me talk to your Momma real quick, go tell Ryan about this prize you're going to win ok?" I heard Bo ask Fleur and the younger brunette ran off.

"Absolutely not." I shook my head knowing that with the biker bar across there was no way I was letting Fleur car wash here at all.

"I completely agree on that, however look at our child, I mean we gotta at least get another gas station but we have to wash some cars." Bo tried and I nodded knowing she was right, I couldn't deny Fleur this opportunity.

"I'll go to the nearest post to talk to Nadia and Krystal. They must be joking, I mean there's no way they would be this reckless right?" It was a rhetorical question because I knew Nadia could, and Nadia was crossing this line now.

"Go on and I'll stay with the girl's ok?" Bo insisted and I sighed.

She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me softly before giving me a smile and muttering for me to be safe. I pulled away from her not really wanting to and giving her a longing look before getting in my car and letting out a sigh. I took the time to check my phone messages while I could see that Bo walked up to where the girls were with Ryan.

 _ **He's going into Pearson at around 9:30pm.**_

 _ **I'll keep checking. Send me the address of the car wash.**_

 _ **-Dy**_

I quickly typed the address as my hands shook greatly. That was the airport where Bo and Fleur were taking off from. I was scared that by some twisted hiccup in time or faith these two situations would collide. I drove trying to blank my mind into the now mundane notion of a hockey car wash. I was still angry and livid about the safety of my daughter but in the great scheme of things there were worse dangers out there than not winning a car wash. _That man_ was inching closer and closer and I needed to get Fleur and Bo away from him as fast as I dared.

There was a long line at the post where Nadia and Krystal were with Krystal's daughter and two other teammates. They were washing cars and selling lemonade as the dads did the brunt of the work. I marched close to where Nadia was and she noticed me giving me a sly smile. I nodded away from the crowd and she followed me with a smug look. When we were out of earshot she couldn't help herself.

"Tell me you did the right thing once you saw the place Lauren." Nadia was pushing the last straw of patience I had.

"You need to stop this shit Nadia, my daughter's safety is in jeopardy here and that's not cool." I hissed and she narrowed her eyes at me.

"You are not seeing this still, are you? I'm doing this because I fucking love you." Nadia looked away in anger and I erupted.

"I don't Nadia, I don't know where you got this notion from! I have a girlfriend who is also the mother of my child, we're happy, she's healthy LET IT BE! Give us another gas station." I almost pleaded and Nadia looked bored with me now.

"If you think the venue is unsafe Doctor, then I suggest you forfeit." Her cruel smile spread across her lips as she tried to walk away before I pulled her back harshly.

"Don't fucking test me Nadia." I hissed and she shook her head.

"I will give you this chance to take your hands away from me. I see that gigantic bruise on your chest Lauren and your girlfriend has a black eye, all I have to do is say I saw her hitting you. It'll be my word against that addict's so tread carefully here." Nadia venomously warned and in disbelief I let her go.

I pulled away in disbelief and parked in a fast food ahead towards the back. It was as if the weight of the world was way too much for me at the moment and I leaned over the steering wheel and cried. I cried of anger from Nadia's situation, I cried out of fear from the pandora's box that was Gregory, I cried out of terror for Fleur's illness. After calming down to hiccups I called Bo needing to hear her voice.

She was gentle with me soothing my soul with her words. I could hear the anger simmering dangerously under the surface yet she held it at bay to comfort me. She assured me we would find a solution to our dilemma together and I believed her. After a few more sweet things said to one another we hung up and I felt a bit better so with that I took off to where they were.

When I got there Dyson was already parked in the car wash spot with a handmade sign. I scoffed as I noticed it was pointing at the bar and parked my car in the back where Fleur and Chloe were with Ryan having a water fight. I walked up to Dyson and kicked his leg slightly.

"What the fuck." I hissed pointing at the sign.

"Trust your girlfriend Lewis, I'm going to be right here." Dyson smiled his wolfish smile and I groaned.

"I see what you're thinking about and the answer is hell the fuck no." I grumbled angrily.

"You go tell that to Bo then." He mentioned and I grit my teeth.

"I will." I turned but his voice reached my ears.

"I don't know what happened to Bo, that's between you and her, but I can tell she wasn't always this strong and independent. She's a grown woman, feeling like she can face her monsters so don't go fighting her battles for her Lauren. Don't take Bo's independence." His words buried themselves with me as I walked away.

I could feel my resolve dissolve with each step towards the small store. Bo had come out of it with a couple of buckets and supplies. She gave me a smirk and I felt my heart stop with how beautiful she looked under the sun in her white tanktop and skin tight leggings. The more I saw her the more I noticed her chin held high, her eyes wide and vibrant, her smile steady in place and the confidence in her step. Dyson was right, this was a changed woman and I needed to trust her to be strong enough to fight her own battles. I would be here if she needed me but for now I had to take a step back.

"Don't cancel anything with Fleur, I've got this. Why don't you get them some ice cream, they're in the back." She instructed with a wink and I obliged.

I went in buying some ice cream for the girls and walked out the back where Ryan Chloe and Fleur had put up signs on the back entrance that led to a residential street. The girls perked up at the sweet treat and afterwards started washing Ryan's car who wanted to pay for his service. Encouraged by the girl's enthusiasm I decided to go down my contacts list and send a mass message to some of the nurses from the hospital and the clinic to see if any needed a car wash. I specified where and to use the back entrance giving directions to avoid the bar.

Before long there had been one of my colleagues getting car a washed and joking with the girls about the whole staff coming by. I left Ryan flirting with the young nurse when I decided to go tell Bo. I crossed through the store picking myself an ice cream I fully intended to share with the hot brunette. I wanted to spend a few minutes with her to give me peace since the stress of Gregory was weighing heavy in my mind.

My jaw fell open as my eyes fell on the woman I absolutely adored. My mouth went dry as the sun shone on her glistening wet skin. Her white shirt clung to her body accentuating her every curve as my eyes drank her in. Every muscle in perfect display with her firm ass as she leaned in to soak the soapy sponge. I tried to swallow to relieve my dry throat as I scanned her hips as she pressed against the car and reached up to clean the glass in front. She leaned into the windshield pressing her breasts against it making eye contact to me with her lips open slightly. I couldn't quite compute what was happening around me but my body felt on fire under her stare.

It wasn't until Dyson touched my hand that I snapped out of the trance that was Bo. He laughed loud and hard at my reaction and I realized my ice cream had long since melted all over my hand. I was aloof to how long had I stood there staring at Bo.

"Jesus Lauren you're drooling all over the sidewalk." Dyson teased and I shook my head.

"Shut up Dyson." I mumbled and shoved him hard on the shoulder.

"Seriously, no offense but hot damn Lewis" he shoved me a bit and I gave him a goofy grin. "Who would've thought nerdy little you would've end up with such a 10"

I barked a few remarks back at him and walked off to the back to help the girls. In the end we were very busy with almost all the nurses of the unit showing up. Ryan kept getting the girls wet and sudsy with soapy battles and silly antics. All in all the few hours that we spent shinning and polishing cars blanked my mind and made me feel a lot better. Spending time with Fleur was always therapeutic for me and today was no exception.

"Momma can I go with Chloe to the arena when Mr. Donovan comes by for the til?" Fleur asked hopeful and I smiled and tapped her nose.

"Only if it's ok with Chloe's Dad." I smiled and Chloe nodded.

"He's totally ice cool about it Doc, I promise!" Chloe smiled jumping excitedly as I nodded.

"Alright alright…" I smiled as they celebrated and we started picking up our tools.

After a while Bo and Ryan joined us and we sat around joking as we waited for Donovan to finish counting the money. The girls were out of earshot with Donovan so Dyson and Bo teased me for a bit about my ice cream incident and double meaning words. I enjoyed the feeling of Bo's arms wrapped around me while her chest rose with her breaths. She was drenched but I didn't care, all I wanted was to be as close to her as I could before she left. We were all laughing when I saw Bo tense up and let go of her hold on my waist pushing off.

I tensed as well when I recognized Nadia's car pull in. I knew this wasn't going to end well. I watched Nadia stomp towards Bo as my girl crossed her arms firmly standing her ground.

"Bo…" I called after her but she threw me a rueful smile and a wink.

"I just wanted you to know that you've cost Fleur and Chloe-Grace their shot at the contest for immoral behaviour." Nadia hissed at Bo as Bo's jaw clenched.

"Under whose authority? I didn't see anybody asking me for a vote and a disqualification must be unanimous so…" Donovan butted in and I felt much better instantly.

"She was selling sex to those men!" Krystal bellowed as I held myself in check.

"She was washing cars in long black pants and a long tank-top… you're both in bikini tops and booty shorts so please save this bullshit." Donovan defended before leaving and taking the girls with him before things escalated.

"I see right through you." Nadia hissed and I convinced myself she was delusional.

"Oh please, you wouldn't see a lighthouse if it hit you in the forehead. I did what I needed to in order to help my daughter's hockey team raise funds. It's all about the charity. No more, no less." Bo defended coolly.

"If that's the case and you feel all Mother Theresa then you would probably like to know there's a charity pick-up game at 7:30, I'm sure them losers from the other team would appreciate the hindrance on the ice." Nadia baited and I shook my head.

After a few more taunts and Bo agreeing Nadia left smug about getting Bo involved now. I knew about Bo's passion for the sport, I knew she trained with Fleur every morning and that she was extensively knowledgeable but I had seen Nadia's viciousness. I worried for my girlfriend and didn't know how to feel about things.

"Bo… She's just taunting you into reacting." I whispered at Bo as I wrapped my hands around her. I didn't want this to get messy but it looked like it would.

"I know Lauren, but I can't let her walk around thinking it's alright to punch me and to bully our child in her hockey team." She said turning in my arms to face me. As soon as I saw her black eye I flinched with guilt.

"I already-" I started but she cut me off.

"I know you did babe and I appreciate that, but I have to fight my own battles too. I won't be too hard babe I want to set a good example for Fleur. I'll make you proud I promise." Bo insisted and I smiled in awe that she wanted to make ME proud as well.

"You already do Bo, so damn much." I breathed and she closed the gap kissing me softly.

"Come with us." She whispered from my lips. "To Montreal, just come with us."

The guilt washed over me tenfold as I knew for a fact I was lying to Bo now. I didn't like it, I didn't want to yet I couldn't expose her to the madness that brought the darkness in her life. I frowned looking at my feet now not wanting to meet her eyes.

"I can't, I really have to do some work baby… next time ok? I promise." I whispered.

"Ok"

After that our conversation turned light and I found comfort in her presence. Like Dyson said I had to trust Bo's judgement and if she thought that she could go toe to toe with Nadia I would support her. Bo was telling me about how she was thinking of buying Dyson's car and convinced me to go with her in it. I threw my keys to Dyson after we were all packed up and hopped over the convertible as Bo giggled at me.

"I've always wanted to do that." I confessed laughing as she put her shades on.

"I've missed you all day." Bo groaned cutely as she grabbed my hand and entwined our fingers kissing my knuckles.

"It's like we keep dodging each other." I confessed leaning my head back after buckling my belt.

"Not anymore, I'll go do this game and we'll go home." Bo assured me and I smiled thinking of it fondly. _**Home.**_

"It's pretty awesome that I'll see you in all your gear." I confessed.

"Ooooh! I thought you didn't like the hockey." She teased and I chuckled squeezing her hand.

"I can make an exception for you." I winked as she laughed.

"You don't have to prove anything to her Bo." I mentioned suddenly and Bo nodded.

"I know Lau, I just… I can't have this woman smugly walking around town disrespecting me in front of the other parents. I'm Fleur's mother just as much as you are and I want to be seen as a responsible adult. With Nadia yapping her mouth and sabotaging even Fleur's interests that's not happening." She explained as I kissed her hand.

"Do what you have to do Bo. I just… I wish I hadn't brought her into my life now." I lamented knowing I had brought this upon ourselves.

"Lauren the past happens, sometimes it comes to bite you in the ass… I've learned recently that you gotta grit your teeth and tell your past to fuck off sometimes." She smiled and I laughed at her metaphor.

After Bo got changed and grabbed her gear Dyson and Ryan got there to drop off our cars. The two men were talking about Dyson's gym and how Ryan wanted to revamp it. He ran into me animatedly talking to Dyson and gave me a sheepish smile. I rolled my eyes and shoved him a bit. Dyson cleared his throat and we both turned to him.

"Ryan, think that we can get a few minutes?" Dyson asked and Ryan nodded.

"Of course, certainly." With that Ryan walked away into the house.

"What's up?" I asked as our eyes met and Dyson let out a huge sigh.

"Everything is set up for tomorrow. Gregory's flight is delayed and Ryan is going to help me set up a couple of pre-emptive measures while you guys go to eat, Tamsin's coming to get us." Dyson explained.

"Come by after I drop them off at the airport and we'll go over the plan." I insisted and he groaned.

"Come on Lewis, I cannot go over the plan again! We all have the plan down you have OCD." He argued with me and I went to counter but Ryan and Bo were coming back with a huge bag and her hockey sticks.

The drive to the arena was tense for me even though Bo's hand was on my own. I kept thinking of my cover and my lines for tomorrow. I wanted to be ready for this encounter yet something told me that I would never be ready for what was about to happen. I thanked my luck about the delay on Gregory's arrival and tried to convince myself that after this weekend this would be over.

The arena was buzzing when we got there and I felt myself fall into familiar territory of Motherhood. Again there were people to talk to, people to meet, parents to greet and Fleur had to eat something before the night came. Bo squeezed my shoulder slightly when we got to the lobby and I gave her a look and a smile.

"I'm gonna go find the team playing tonight and make sure they need bodies." Bo explained as I nodded.

"I have to find Donovan and the girls, maybe dinner before your game?" I asked hopeful and Bo smiled brightly.

"Is this a second date you're asking for Doctor Lewis?" Bo teased and it brightened my mood.

"What if I was? I'm kind of a mom so I'll have to bring my kid." I teased back as she chuckled.

"Perfect because I have a daughter too." Bo whispered and pulled me in for a light kiss. "See you in a few, be safe."

With that off she went and I found myself distracted by her perfect ass and the swing of her hips. Bo Denis was something else entirely, that was for sure. I let out a long sigh and got my feet moving towards where I knew Fleur's table was. Part of me hoped I ran into Nadia so I could tell her to back off Bo but I held back. When I reached Fleur's table she came hopping over with her face painted and a big smile on her face.

"Hey Momma, I hear they're announcing the winners at the game tonight so we have to stick around." Fleur explained and I nodded. "Where's Mom?"

"She went to go see about whatever team is going against the home team tonight. She's probably going to suit up for them if she has the chance." I explained seeing Fleur's face light up instantly.

"Oh my God, Mom's going to play!?" She gushed and I nodded with a happy chuckle loving her reaction.

"This is going to be amazing! Downtown is playing the Home team tonight Momma. Jackie's mom is there, I think with Mom in there they can beat the Home team this time." Fleur explained dumbing it down for me as I laughed.

"Gee I thought you liked the Home team." I noted as my girl blushed deeply and waved me off.

"Not anymore, I go for whoever Mom plays for plain and simple." Fleur smiled proudly.

Her friends joined us at the booth and Fleur rushed out the news as Chloe-Grace laughed at the prospect of Bo kicking ass with the Downtown league. It seemed Chloe thought, like Fleur that the Home team was going to lose now. The small group of girls had turned to talking about technicalities of the game and stats and I got lost with all of it. Another mom I knew and I got to talking and catching up with a laugh at our kids. Truth was with the lab and work I hadn't been able to stick around much for meetings, chats and comradery. We talked for a while until her daughter was asking her to take her somewhere else. We said our goodbyes yet she turned around and met my eyes as if trying to gage what she was about to say.

"You know Doctor Lewis, I was extremely upset with Fleur getting benched last night." Mrs. Roberts continued as her daughter tried pulling her away impatiently.

"As was her other Mother, apparently she had given her advice on how to score that goal." I mentioned with a sigh upset still at my conundrum.

"Well, if she was responsible for that line change maybe we should be looking into Mrs. Lewis to be the new coach." And with that she turned at the tucks of her child and walked away.

"She's not…"

"I don't think she can hear you, also you're whispering." Fleur mentioned suddenly beside me and I gave her a look as she raised her arms with a shrug.

"How long have you been there?" I asked with narrowed eyes in suspicion.

"Long enough to know half of my team's parents think you suddenly married Mom." She explained with a knowing smile as I groaned.

"This isn't funny, or ideal Fleur." I advised as we walked towards the exit hoping to find Bo.

"It's much less complicated than the truth Momma." She announced and I gave her another look.

"I know but what if it spooks Bo off. It's not like we even know where this is going." I lamented as Fleur shook her head.

It was times like this that I appreciated how adult and mature Fleur really was. I didn't want to get into an in depth conversation about my relationship with her about her Mother but I was glad she listened. I felt her small hand hold me back and I turned to look at her as she stopped walking. Her light brown hair was starting to get shades darker like her mother's and her eyes held the same intensity Bo's had. Her frown somehow looker like my own and the expression in her face I could recognize in the mirror. She was perfect in every way and I didn't think that such a beautiful mix of both Bo and I could be even more accurate if we tried.

"Momma, do you love Mom?" she asked seriously and in a way that I didn't want to lie to her.

"I love her very much Fleur." I admitted and she nodded.

"She loves you too, she's not just saying it you know? Mom lights up when she sees you .time. It's like you're her beacon. You're a Doctor and all but sometimes I wonder if Auntie Tam Tam didn't hit you in the head in college." Fleur grumped and I gave her a gentle smile.

"I'm just scared Fleur. There's things your Mom has been through that are tough for anyone and I have to be careful." I explained conservatively.

"I get that Momma, I really do because I try to be careful with her too. Many people that know me think I'm just a kid but you raised me better than that. I could tell Mom wasn't well when I came to see her, it's why I wanted to go back and help her." She explained looking into my eyes.

"She needed to help herself first Fleur." I whispered still aching from the way I had treated Bo back then.

"And she did momma, and we've helped her too… now you gotta do you Scotty P, and let Mom do her. I'm almost certain that you won't be disappointed." Fleur noted as she grabbed my hand and started walking again. "Besides, as long as I'm around you gotta see each other even you hate one another."

"Good grief!" I laughed at her tone and walked behind her ready to see Bo.

We met Bo by the entrance as Fleur couldn't contain her excitement and fired off question after question about Bo's game. I leaned back against a wall enjoying how Bo's eyes lit up to Fleur's amazement and they talked excitedly with one another. When they started bantering Bo stretched out her hand for me and I took it coming to her mock defence only to taunt her about the very light snoring she did she was extremely tired. Her eyes shone with mischief as she squeezed my hand leading us to the car as we kept talking.

The drive was nice as Bo looked for a food restaurant she liked. She said she wanted to have something light so she could load on carbs after the game. I still thought she was going to pass out from exhaustion on the plane, after all I didn't think she had played in a long time. Suddenly her voice caught my attention and I looked at her giving her my undivided attention.

"By the way, what am I supposed to do here? People keep calling me Mrs. Lewis when I say I'm Fleur's mom." Bo mentioned casually and I could feel the heat in my face. So she had heard their blunder.

"I…um…" I flapped about with no retort.

I felt comforted by her hand in mine as she intertwined our fingers. It was warm and honest and comfortable as she threw me a wink and spoke to Fleur in the back as they teased and bantered me about it. I covered my face with my hand and groaned with a smile as I tried tuning them out slightly. However when Bo's words reached me I couldn't help but let them hit me as I thought about it.

"Well, I don't know, maybe Doctor Lewis here wouldn't want people getting the wrong idea here." she joked while we parked at the Restaurant.

I never wanted Bo to feel like I didn't want her or didn't want to be seen with her. I wanted her to know that she had come so far since the day we first met and I was so damn proud of that. Not even joking did I ever want her to doubt the commitment I had to making this work and having her by my side as we raised Fleur together.

I unbuckled myself and pulled her by the collar of her leather jacket kissing her softly knowing Fleur was in the back. Her lips molded to mine and I smiled as she leaned into me completely. Her hands came and grabbed my face with a sigh as she kissed me back with the same rhythm I was. I could hear Fleur's giggle, it was the one she indulged in when she was right and this time I had to hand it to her. She was right. When we got out of the car I was still thinking about it, so when Fleur went into the restaurant ahead I held Bo back.

"Bo I don't want you to feel pressured to act as my wife just because we have a different situation than most… I can talk to people, explain that you're Bo Dennis, my girlfriend and Fleur's mother." I mumbled looking down knowing things were probably going too fast for her.

"It's no big deal Lauren, really babe. I don't mind being Mrs. Lewis in front of the PTA if you don't. I bet it's driving your ex's crazy." She winked at me as she made a point to meet my eyes and I smiled.

"I cannot believe how much I love you." I whispered meaning it with my every fiber.

With that we rushed inside to catch up with Fleur. Our girl had already politely asked for a table and leaned into me as we caught up with her. We waited a few minutes before we got to our table and ordered our food quick since the restaurant was packed. Bo kept insisting we had looked at the menu in the host stand knowing we were tied for time and being savvy about the inner workings of a packed restaurant. As we waited for the food to come by Fleur took this time to ask Bo about anything and everything she could think of about hockey.

"Mom, when did you start playing hockey?" Fleur asked shyly as she looked up at Bo with shinning eyes.

Bo smiled sadly looking at her hands, from our previous conversations I knew talking about her childhood was hard for her. I wanted to interject and protect Bo from those memories, yet I also knew that Fleur needed these answers to bond with her Mother even more. I hoped that perhaps making new memories with Fleur would be enough to start healing Bo's wounds.

"I started playing when I was a Squirt like you." Bo smiled fondly at Fleur as she tapped her nose softly.

"Were you always a Centre?" Fleur asked before thanking the waiter for our drinks.

"Sometimes I play left wing when there's too many centres in one team." Bo explained and Fleur nodded.

"What's your number?" Fleur asked as Bo's gaze turned soft and bittersweet as her smile stretched somewhat sad.

"I wear number 27." Bo almost whispered and in a second I understood her look.

"Like my birthday!" Fleur piqued up and I saw Bo smile and nod yet I didn't miss the small cringe she gave beforehand.

The food arrived and gave us a well needed distraction from conversation. Fleur was aloof to Bo's change but I could feel how she had tucked onto herself suddenly introspective. We ate in silence as we all probably realized how hungry the sun and work had made us. As soon as our plates were cleared Bo draped her arm on the back of the booth and pulled me close to her tucking me into her. I smiled as I held onto her waist and breathed her earthy scent in enjoying the warmth of her body. Fleur's eyes met mine with a shining excitement that warmed my heart.

"Flower, babe, want some dessert?" Bo asked gently with a love filled tone and I smiled happily.

"I gotta share, I'm stuffed from that pizza." Fleur declared turning her head sideways slightly in a cute gesture.

"What about you babe, you down to share some dessert?" Bo asked me kissing the top of my head.

"Maybe a bite or two, I don't want to fall into a food coma while you're playing." I mumbled with a smile.

After dessert and an argument between Bo and I for the bill we took off. I of course won that pointing out this was our second date and she had picked up the first tab. Bo drove us back to the arena and with eagerness she told me she was going to dress up for the skate before the game. I had to stick to Fleur and wait for the announcements so I pulled her into a hug tightly after she had given Fleur a kiss and a hug.

"Be safe please" I begged in a hushed whisper against her ear as her arms tightened around my waist.

"I will, I promise." Bo replied warmly against my neck.

"I'll find you before you start." I promised as I caressed her cheek and leaned in to kiss her lips softly.

With that we parted and Fleur grabbed my hand as we made our way through the crowd. I had found Donovan and Chloe and waited for the announcement as we made small talk. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dyson and Ryan take a seat at the stands and threw them a wave as they waved back. Nadia had come to the small clearing in front of the lobby where the team and other parents had gathered. Her face displayed her irritation as she got everyone's attention.

"As everyone knows we had a very good showing for the fundraiser today and it was very competitive." Nadia made a slight face which I caught and I saw her expression flare with disdain.

"Some did better than others and so I would like to congratulate our two centre team Chloe-Grace and Flower for gathering the most funds." Nadia announced with a tense fake smile as I heard Fleur and Chloe cheering and high fiving.

"Momma did you hear that!?" Fleur exclaimed with excitement and a huge smile.

"I sure did gorgeous!" I smiled brightly at her as she bounced on her heels.

"The prize will be presented at the beginning of the game against Downtown. Now if you guys excuse me, I have a game to get ready for." Nadia finished briskly and walked away.

Donovan assured me he would keep an eye on the girls and take them on the ice as I showed Fleur where I'd be sitting with Dyson and Ryan. She wanted to go off with her teammates to do some playing around and I was confident she wouldn't get into much trouble from here until the ceremony. I gave her a hug and made her show me her bracelet before she had gone off. Ryan had made her a bracelet with a microchip inside with a trigger device she just had to press if she was in distress and it would send a signal to my phone. Chloe had instructions to press the bracelet in case Fleur couldn't and she took her job very seriously as my girls' best friend. By the time I got to where the guys were the women's teams were taking the ice for practice.

"Hey Lau what number will Bo be wearing?" Dyson asked curiously as I smiled and sat down between them.

"I imagine she's got a Crosby jersey on of course" I rolled my eyes with a chuckle "She would dump me for him in a heart-beat."

"Wouldn't doubt it! Better watch out." Ryan teased pushing my shoulder slightly as we all laughed.

We sat watching the Home team skate first as Dyson and Ryan talked about some random boxing fight they were going to go see soon. I watched Nadia skating around and shooting pucks on the net almost enraged. I knew a bit of the sport coming to Fleur's games and all but I found myself rather bored with it quickly when it came to the adults. I always cheered Fleur in the games I attended but I couldn't find myself invested in it unless she was on the ice.

"Dyson, will you tail Gregory until tomorrow or will we lose track of him as soon as Bo leaves?" I asked out of the blue wanting to get everything flawless for tomorrow.

"I will still get Hale to tail him until we pull off the scam." Dyson mentioned tensely as I nodded.

"I still don't understand who this guy is but can we just enjoy Bo's game I mean, have you ever seen her suit up Doc?" Ryan caught my attention and pointed at the ice.

My eyes followed the direction and I saw the now empty ice and a lone skater on it. The bright white 87 on it told me all I needed to know as I saw her hair hang on her back out the back of the helmet in a beautiful braid. I watched as she gracefully skated on the ice in small circles around the net and then did some stretches. She looked very skilled as she crossed her feet and skated backwards a few times shifting her hips and I was mesmerized.

If I thought Bo was good skating I was even more impressed when the coach dumped a bucket of pucks on the ice and she started stick handling. Her hand-eye coordination was impressive and the way she moved the puck back and forth timed with her stick to bend it towards her will was downright amazing. When I saw her skating with the puck and taking shots I knew I'd never see hockey in the same way again. I stared unabashedly as she was joined by the rest of the team and they practiced. She looked at home on the ice much like Fleur did when she played and could see where the joy came from.

After a while I saw some of Bo's teammates come off the ice and I stood quickly without thought as my legs carried me. I watched Bo as I made my way towards the player's tunnel hoping to talk to her before the game. She was the last one off the ice and as she approached me I could really appreciate how massive she looked under her equipment. She was taller than she usually was by a good amount since she was on skates and the huge pads and guards made her look massive and intimidating. She took her helmet off and gave me a smile stopping in front of me. My breath caught on my throat as her eyes caught mine at how beautiful she looked. Even though she was sweaty from practice her makeup was perfect and so was her hair which was held back from her face by the braid.

"You're beautiful." I whispered with a smile as I felt my cheeks redden and she gave me a rueful smile.

"I'm in full on hockey gear baby, beautiful is not what I expected." She chuckled as she leaned into me inches from my lips "Are you trying to sweep me off my feet Doctor?"

"Haven't I already?" I countered and raised an eyebrow biting my lip.

"Indeed." Bo smiled and kissed my lips pulling me close with a gloved hand as I wrapped my arms around her neck.

"Come on Doc Bones." Someone hollered from inside and Bo smiled pulling away.

"Gotta go."

"Doc Bones?" I raised an eyebrow as she chuckled.

"Doctor Bones… I'll let you know later, but thanks for the PhD." She winked and with that I begged her to be safe as she walked into the dressing room.

I returned to my seat beaming proudly as the ceremonies came on and Fleur and Chloe got called up to collect their prize. We had ended up gathering a good chunk of money from the fundraiser and I felt like Fleur's excitement over her prize was contagious. I knew for a fact that without Bo I wouldn't have been as persistent to continue after the venue couldn't be changed. Not that I would want my daughter to be unhappy but I wouldn't have been as _creative_ as Bo was.

After a while Fleur ran up to us and sat next to me in front of the glass by the goal for the downtown team. If Bo scored we would see it clearly and we were ready to see just that. Fleur grabbed my attention with excitement and I met her eyes as they were getting set to drop the puck.

"I saw Mom on the bench!" Fleur mentioned excitedly and I smiled "She looks so badass!"

"I will forget you said that." I mentioned with a raised eyebrow as she giggled and looked down at her prize.

"Thanks for helping me out Momma, you and Mom are the best." Fleur glowed and I hugged her tightly before we turned our attention to the game.

Bo looked in her absolute element out on the ice. I was entranced by her abilities as she zoomed up and down the rink with the puck. She was amazingly skilled and I felt pride swell within me at the sight. Bo was getting matched up a lot with Nadia, who of course was being an asshole, yet Bo was so calm and collected she would win the battles against the woman easily.

Fleur held my hand for most of the game as we both held our breath with the progression of it all. I saw more and more how Nadia kept targeting my girlfriend making my blood boil. We all groaned in this section as the home team scored and I watched as Bo took the ice once more. I could tell she was focusing on something and when she was on the bench she talked with the coach for a bit. I knew she was smart about the game, she watched nothing but sports and extensively hockey so I knew she was probably seeing something nobody was.

"Come on ref that was a soft call!" Ryan bellowed next to me as we all groaned from the penalty called against Downtown.

"Come on mom." I heard Fleur plead as I watched the game run before my eyes.

Suddenly there was a line change and Nadia had the puck while Bo defended her rush. I could see Bo concentrate hard and before I knew it she had shifted and stolen the puck from Nadia breaking towards us. We jumped to our feet and I held my breath while Bo handled the puck expertly before putting it in the back of the net. The scream ripped from my throat before I knew it and Bo jumped against the glass where Fleur was banging on it screaming in pure joy. I heard Dyson and Ryan celebrating besides me and we all high fived in excitement. My eyes caught Bo's as she went to the bench and with a smile she blew me a kiss.

We kept at the edge of our seat the rest of the game. It was tied and getting more and more intense by the second. Nadia was livid about Bo's goal and was now downright gunning for her. She was making downright dangerous plays just because she was getting outhustled. A few times I saw Bo dodge dangerous hits and twice Nadia actually caught Bo with a high check against the boards which should've gotten called. I held my breath as a line change came and Nadia took the ice against Bo.

I watched Nadia hit Bo hard against the boards before hitting her between the legs with her stick. I jumped up and pressed against the glass as I saw Bo turn around and shove Nadia back. My heart was racing anxiously as I realized this was it and Bo was going to drop her gloves. In a second she had taken her helmet and gloves off as she held her hands close to her face and they said a couple of things to each other. I was completely engrossed, watching as Bo fiercely grabbed Nadia's jersey and after dodging a few shots she swung away. Nadia got her once but Bo pretty much handed her breakfast, lunch and dinner.

As the ref held Bo back she said something down to Nadia who was trying to get herself off the ice and then my girl skated to the box. I broke my trance as the cheers around me became evident and then I looked down to meet Fleur's stunned face. I wanted to explain the violence she had just seen but she beat me to it.

"So it's true that Coach was the one to give Mom that black eye." Fleur admitted and I nodded.

"She's jealous because I'm dating your mother." I explained as the young girl nodded.

"Well then she got what was coming for her. Mom wouldn't fight if it wasn't needed. I know that much." She declared.

The rest of the game much to my relief Nadia had backed off. Bo had a good game but was still getting the stink eye from the opposition. Now that Bo's team had the lead I was anxious for the game to end when I saw Bo come on the ice for what I hoped was her last shift. I didn't want her to get hurt by returning to the ice full time too fast. I watched as she took the front of the net and if in slow motion a girl jabbed her hard in the rib area and I watched Bo hit the ice hard.

It was as if time slowed down when I saw Bo trying to crawl off the ice in pain. My mind jumped rapidly into Doctor mode as I worried immensely and I jumped to my feet. My eyes met Dyson's quickly as he yelped at me to 'go' and Fleur nodded at me as her worried eyes caught mine. I rushed down the benches with my heart hammering in my ears as I ran towards the locker-rooms where I had seen them take Bo.

There was a tall woman at the beginning of the hallway sitting by a table. She gave me a bored look as I heaved trying to catch my breath. I was about to rush by her when she put up her arm to restrict me.

"Excuse me, but where are you going?" the woman raised an eyebrow and I looked away trying to see where Bo was.

"I need to get by, my girlfriend got hurt, I'm a doctor." I explained as she rolled her eyes.

"There's safety procedures in place here lady, I can't let anyone that says they're a Doctor go in. Besides, there's an EMT with her." The woman boredly explained as I huffed in exasperation.

"Listen here sweetcakes, I'm a fucking ER Doctor and a member of this arena. You can talk to anyone you want but I'm going through you to see my girlfriend right now." I raised my voice losing my patience.

As the woman opened her mouth to retort I heard Bo's scream loud and clear through the hallway. I pushed past the woman in a harsh motion as I ran down the hallway to where the sound came from and threw the door open.

My eyes widened as I saw the EMT hovering menacingly over Bo with a syringe as Bo cowered. Without missing a beat I crossed the space and punched her square in the jaw knocking her out instantly. I rushed to Bo who ventured opening her eyes and the fear there broke my heart. I searched her eyes as she recognized me and I finally found my voice.

"Bo… baby… Ysabeau!"

"Yes! I'm here I'm… oh my God!" Bo admitted snapping out of her panic induced state.

She looked down and as she saw the nurse out for the count on the floor Bo's eyes met mine in surprise "Did you just clock her out?"

"I could hear you screaming down the hall, did she… oh God Bo… did she inject you with anything?" I asked in terror as I looked her over with shaking hands horrified that this nurse had not heard her pleas which I clearly heard outside. **No drugs.**

"No… but… but she was so close. I… think I almost relapsed just now." Bo whimpered in fear and I almost cried.

"But you didn't Bo… I'm here baby, I'm with you. You have me here and Fleur and Dyson… and Ryan is here." I tried soothing her, like Evony had advised in my reading, I tried to focus her on her support system.

"Lauren…" she whispered and I examined her injury.

"Do you trust me Ysabeau?" I asked hopeful of her answer.

"I do." She whispered.

"This might hurt." I replied and pressed on her wound noticing there was no break. "It's only a bruised rib Bo, it's not broken."

My hand found her cheek as she leaned into me with a soft sigh. I held her eyes trying to convey honesty and trust. I needed her to understand that she had begged this woman to not inject her. This was no time for self-loathing, this was time for accomplishment.

"If you really trust me believe me Bo… you did the right thing, you asked her to stop. You looked at the monster in the eye and told it to fuck off." I explained as I firmly held her eyes trying to convince her.

"You still love me?" she asked in a small voice and I couldn't help but chuckle at the outrageousness of the question.

"You remember that night… it was about 3:30 in morning… wow I was such an asshole" I smiled sadly shaking my head at her behaviour back then.

"I do." she whispered.

"You opened the door in those shorts you love so much and a jersey with your tousled hair and your soft eyes." I whispered remembering the moment, almost reliving it as her eyes watered with emotion.

"I thought you were an angel." she smiled and I blushed.

"I loved you on the spot Bo Denis. You were a mess back then and yet I fell in love with you as if I had gotten a glimpse of the amazing woman you'd become now. I saw you for a second as beautiful and healthy and wonderful as you are right now before you fell into your shell and unhealthy habits back then. " I confessed wanting her to know it all, to know how long I truly loved her.

Before I could say anything else she had closed the gap between us kissing me deeply. I carefully wrapped my arms around her as she leaned back and I pulled away catching us before we fell over as we laughed at the normalcy of the moment. I gave Bo a hand getting up and getting changed as I collected her stuff throwing it into her oversized bag. I grabbed the smelling salts from the EMT bag and leaned over the woman bringing her back to. She scurried away from me confused as I glared at her.

"I'm going to have you jailed." She threatened and I scowled.

"Try me. You broke so many protocols right now it's not even funny. The patient clearly let you know she wasn't comfortable with your treatment yet you pushed against protocol." I challenged "If you don't walk away, I will have your career."

With a last glare the woman grabbed her bag and walked out rubbing her chin as the rest of the players walked into the locker-room. I let Bo says her goodbyes and accept the positive responses from her team-mates before leading her out. They had all invited her to play with them and I brightened up at Bo's entertainment of the idea. When we met with Ryan he took Bo out of my hands with Dyson to help her into the car. Fleur held back until we reached the car and Bo gave her a pout.

"Are you mad at me 'cause I fought?" The older woman asked as Fleur shook her head.

"Of course not Mom, that goal was amazing though! What a break-away and short handed!" Fleur gushed and raved as we all laughed.

I had insisted we put Bo in the back since it would be more stable for her rib. It would feel like shit in the morning but she'd be ok in a few days no worse for wear. Dyson handed me his phone as I sat on the passenger seat before he started up the car and started driving. As I heard Bo and Fleur giggling in the back as Fleur dramatized Bo's fight I felt my heart swell at the moment. I knew Bo was now probably a huge role model in Fleur's life and I knew that was something that Bo would not throw away. I knew Bo needed some time to realize she was stronger than her addictions, but slowly I felt she was winning the battle. However that was the last second of peace I had for the night. My eyes wondered downwards and found Dyson's open message there as my heart stopped in ice cold fear.

 _ **I'm sorry, but intel confirms that Gregory's flight is delayed. Our time of drop-off for Bo and Fleur is the same time he'll be passing through. We must be very careful from this moment onwards.**_

 _ **-Hale**_

Dyson's eyes met mine for a second as he drove and the realization hit me hard. We were playing with fire and if I got burned my whole world could come crashing down. For a second or two I wondered, really wondered if I was strong enough to hold Bo up in case shit hit the fan. _Was I enough to keep Bo sober in the worse case scenario?_


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks for the patience and the love! These chapters are two that I'm very happy and proud to put out. No individual shououts, but as always I read and appreciate each and every review I get from you guys!**

 **Shout out to all of you beauties who followed me on twitter! Last_Dragomir**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 16:**

I felt empty and void of emotion as I walked down the street on the stormy afternoon. I pulled my light coat tighter against myself in the wind as I let out a heavy sigh. I felt like my day would be so busy yet pointless and meaningless. I dodged another pedestrian using the sidewalk and caught my tired reflection on the dark window. I looked older under all the stress and somehow I knew I was seeing a battle weary soul.

Suddenly my phone vibrated in my pocket and I reached for it noticing Fleur's name on the screen. I felt my heart hammer faster as my hands trembled and I rushed to pick up the call. I needed to hear her voice yet I knew the pain it would cause me at the same time. They were too alike and Fleur looked so much like her. In the end my need as a Mother won out and I jammed the green button.

"Baby?" I whispered and I heard a disapproving hum in the background.

"Momma are you at the hospital?" Fleur's cold removed tone passed through me and I flinched.

"I will be there in five minutes." I rushed and picked up my pace eager to see her.

"Then I guess I'll see you soon." With that the line disconnected and I put the phone in my pocket.

I picked up a slight jog trying to keep my traction in the rain that was now steadily falling. I crossed the threshold of the hospital in record time and looked around in anxious nervousness. I walked up to the nurse in the ER desk and she gave me a sympathetic smile. I flinched slightly at the pity in her eyes and deep down I knew.

"Bed C, Fleur's waiting." The older woman whispered and I nodded walking over bracing myself as best as I could.

As I looked at the teenager leaning against the wall my heart faltered at the striking resemblance she had with her mother. The brooding pout she wore was identical to Bo's and it made my hands tremble even more. She looked so worn and angry that I couldn't really take it as the whimper left my lips and she turned to me.

"Fleur." I breathed her name as her eyes fell upon me coldly.

"I want to be out of here as fast as I can. You know what we need." Fleur mentioned harshly and I flinched before nodding and pulling the curtain slipping inside.

My eyes watered as they landed on the void long-gone brown eyes that held so much emptiness and sadness. I let out a small sob as she met my eyes, her eyebrows furrowed as recognition and longing crossed her eyes followed by hurt and betrayal. She started shaking her head and crying hysterically as she always did now when she saw me and I gritted my teeth trying to bear the weight of my actions.

"You brought him to me…" she wailed as her hands shook with withdrawal and I could see the clear track marks in her arms. "YOU LET HIM HURT ME!"

I woke up with a scream that ripped through my throat and slowly but surely turned into hard sobs full of despair and agony. I was sweating as I had strewn the sheets off the bed in my tossing and my chest heaved hard with extrusion. The darkness of the room overwhelmed me and I sobbed harder feeling the complete stillness of the house. I was alone and I was completely terrified of the nightmare I had just experienced.

I didn't sleep anymore after that terrible nightmare and stayed up all night working on Fleur's files. I wished that I could say that I was lying when I say I was relieved earlier as I watched the plane take flight in the horizon. As I left the doors of the airport I had received the text from Dyson that Gregory was touching down in the runway ready to hit the city. It had been so close that I had convinced Bo to wear her hair in a bun inside her Penguins snapback and dark glasses _'to hide her back eye'_. I didn't want to take any chances at all for this creep to run into them while he was here so I was much more relieved when I realized they were now getting further and further from his reach.

I was drinking some coffee and watching the sunrise hoping it would calm my nerves. This had to go flawlessly today for me to make Gregory go out of our lives for good. I glanced at my watch and stopped the alarm before it went off as I listened to the stillness of the house. It was unnerving how quiet this morning was and after last night's nightmare I was more than shaken up.

By this time every morning whether she slept in her house or mine Bo would be in the gym starting her routine. Fleur would be getting up and ready to join her in a few minutes, but today all there was around was silence. I opted to go get ready for my day and go on with my routine as normal as I could. As I passed the gym I knew my weekend wouldn't be the same.

I took a shower as I went over the plan on how we were going to do this. I was going to pick up Tamsin, who was my backup, and we would wait in the 'lab'. Ryan and Dyson had staged a mock lab in a small transitioning warehouse Ryan was remodeling. With his skill and Dyson's help it had been fairly easy to build up a mock façade of a lab where we could convince Gregory we would pay him easy money for some samples in a new study.

We had set up a fake classified in his area about a trial program which was looking for genetic donors in exchange of $2,000. It was supposedly for anonymous research and the donor would get an all-expense paid trip to Toronto where the lab was located. Since apparently it was a very confidential pilot program we were recruiting from across North America. In the end he only took a day to answer to the ad and for us to throw the bait. It was hook, line and sinker and before we knew it we had a date with the devil sort of speak.

I got dressed quickly in a pair of green scrubs as I put my hair up in a bun and grabbed my stethoscope. I wanted nothing but for this to be done already so we could move on with our lives but the feeling in the pit of my stomach told me otherwise. I brushed it off feeling like it was probably the bad nightmare I just had. Bo's lost and drugged eyes still burned into my mind from the first time I encountered them in real life. I shivered in horror and pushed through the day.

I drove to the 'lab' meeting Tamsin who was there already. We had acted as if it was a legit place of business and adhered to shift schedules and such protocols. A secretary had been hired for the ghost company Ryan had created and she was taking care of everything as if it was all legit. I was reminded by 'Ruth' that we only had one appointment today and I smiled giving her a small nod.

In the back Tamsin was already waiting for me, her game face on as she separated different vials in the mock lab. Her eyes met mine and I gave her a small smile as I came into the room.

"You look like shit." The blonde smirked and I punched her arm softly.

"Gee, thanks bestie." I mentioned grumpy and she threw me a look.

"What crawled up your ass this morning?" Tamsin sassed at me and I frowned.

"We're not exactly doing a day in the spa Tamsin." I scowled "I didn't get the best sleep neither."

"It'll all be over soon Lau, I promise." Tamsin assured and I nodded looking at the clock anxious for the time of Gregory's appointment.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I dug it out anxious to see who it was. I was a bit on edge about the fact that Fleur was at such a distance from us when she was still sick. The trip had been something Tamsin and I had discussed to great lengths in the short notice we had. We both had agreed that if indeed Fleur would grow immune to her treatment it wouldn't be so soon and we had some leeway between now and the cure. Tamsin was also the first to point out that this trip could be therapeutic for Bo as well as Fleur and that it provided us the best cover when it came to dealing with Gregory.

 _ **Good morning, just came in from the breakfast in the hotel. We miss you and your breakfast… I missed your snuggles at night. ;)**_

 _ **-Bo**_

The message brought a bright smile to my lips. Bo was always reminding me of how she was 'not-good' at this girlfriend thing but I was pretty skeptical of her modesty at times. She was very thoughtful to begin with so messages in the morning or at night when we weren't with one another were pretty common to find. Overall though, it was Bo's childlike honesty with me that drew me in immensely. It was raw and unabashed comments like the fact that she missed my snuggles that made my heart beat faster and help me fall deeper in love with the brunette.

 _ **I miss you guys too. House feels empty without my ladies. Have fun today please, send me some pictures.**_

 _ **-Lau**_

"Doctor Beatty, nurse Sundqvist your appointment of the day is here. I'll settle the gentleman in room 3." Ruth announced from the door and quickly left.

"I don't understand why I have to play up the Swedish accent." Tamsin grumbled and I glared at her.

"Because you look like a fucking Viking, now get into your role damn it." I hissed and breathed deeply to steel my nerves.

Here I was coming face to face with the monster.

Both Tamsin and I walked down the mock hall into the stainless steel and white-walled room. There by the stretcher was a well-dressed man whom I wondered for a second if we had him confused. He looked rather normal and well-mannered as his smile dimpled his face with charismatic charm. He was wearing an expensive blue pin-striped suit as his blue eyes shone, his dark blonde hair slicked back. I tried not to search his face much knowing horrified that somewhere I would be able to see Fleur's features.

"Would it be correct to assume that you are Mr. Gregory Lyles?" I asked as Tamsin busied herself with 'preparations'.

"The one and only, I suppose you're Doctor Beatty." Gregory smiled.

"Guilty as charged." I admitted using my 'alias' and he grimaced extending his hand with another dazzling smile as my stomach turned in horror.

"My most hated saying but I'll let it pass Doctor." He winked at me as we shook hands and I felt dirty right away.

"So getting right down to business, like we discussed on the e-mail, this is a limited opportunity that we're offering former Betreave users." I explained as I used our cover story.

"I finished my Betreave treatment about a year ago, will that hinder my chances?" Gregory asked as he walked off and looked around the office.

"Not at all, men who were part of the Betreave study are just prime candidates for this study as well, that's all." I smiled reassuringly as he nodded.

"What do you need from me Doctor?" He asked, yet the way he asked was so subtly sexual that I **really** saw the monster simmering in the surface.

"Just some genetic samples: blood, urine, saliva. We're just gathering some follow-up genetic material to expand on the data from Betreave." I used my utmost professional tone.

"Will you be taking my samples personally Doctor?" He husked and a shiver ran down my spine.

It was a shiver of fear, it was anxiousness as Tamsin gave me a look and shook her head. I was terrified that this was Gregory, that he looked so normal and refined he could hide in plain sight. I could literally pass this man in the street and not realize the horrible terrors he had committed.

"Nurse Sundqvist and I will be the ones conducting your progress. You'll be able to get going within a couple of minutes." I admitted to Gregory as he looked smugly as if he knew what was coming next.

"Mr. Lyles could you please take off your suit and vest. It would be best if you make yourself comfortable for this process." Tamsin mentioned and I nodded as we prepped for blood and saliva swabs.

Gregory had stripped down to his suit pants before we got started extracting the genetic material. He kept shamelessly flirting with me the entire time as I tried to courteously play coy and smile. Tamsin had to step out to get some samples running right away and I in the other hand tried to finish the last sample quite quickly.

"Last but not least there's the urine test." I mentioned and he gave me a sly smile grabbing himself through the suit pants.

"Didn't know there was going to be one… I'll be ready in a second." He mentioned and I held back my scowl.

I handed him the cup and before I explained at what level I needed the urine to be. I began to excuse myself while my phone vibrated in my pocket as I shifted the files in my hand uncomfortably looking down at them not wanting to be intimidated. I gave the man a tight-lipped smile as he raised his eyebrows at me suggestively and in a second he had pulled his penis out ready with the sample cup. I cleared my throat turning around in disgust as I tried not to think of this animal with the absolute rage I felt simmering in the surface. I distracted myself with my phone as I opened a message from Bo bringing a smile to my lips.

 _ **Thought you wanted to see how good of a time we're having.**_

 _ **Miss you babe**_

 _ **-Bo**_

With the message was a picture of Fleur and her under the sun. Bo had her nose wrinkled cutely with her tongue slightly out as she pressed her cheek against Fleur who had her cheeks full of air and small slits for eyes. They looked extremely happy under their hats and my heart swelled at how much they looked alike. Without warning I felt a breath on my neck and my hairs stood on back of it in fear as I clicked the lock screen on my phone in panic hoping it hadn't been Gregory sneaking behind me.

"Quite a big lab here Doc." Gregory leaned against the counter dangerously close to me and I tucked my phone away.

"We serve many purposes." I nodded curtly and pulled away from the table to collect the last sample needed from the man. "That's all we're going to need, you can collect your paycheque at the front desk with Ruth."

"And I'm not responsible for whatever the fuck you guys do with this afterwards right?" He asked.

"With your consent and waiver forms nothing will ever be traced back to you from this genetic material. Only fake skin grafts and ears will be generated from these samples." I explained as he nodded.

"No mess…" he mused and I grew angrier.

"Mr. Lyles, did you remember to state if you have a different legal name in your forms just in case?" I baited wanting to make sure.

"Oh, it slipped my mind… could you possibly make the correction?" he asked suavely. "Gregory Dennis was my foster name."

"Certainly, I'll see it taken care of." I nodded with confirmation weighing heavy in my heart.

"Alright then, I'll grab my money and be on my way…" The smile Gregory took on his lips right after was downright creepy "unless you want to have a good time."

"I'm afraid I don't mix business with anything else. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lot to do." I mentioned curtly as Tamsin came back in the room.

"Dr. Beatty your assistance is needed in the other room." Tamsin urged and I nodded as I extended my hand towards Gregory.

"Thank you for your collaboration, Greenstart Pharma appreciates your immense contribution to science." I faked a smile as I spat out my lines and with that I walked away.

By the time Tamsin had led me to the very back of the warehouse which wasn't 'labbed-out' and we met with Dyson my hands were shaking. We all held our breaths as the plan went all the way through and now Tamsin concentrated on laying all the samples on the table. We waited for Hale's call to let us know we were in the clear. I let out a shaky breath as I ran to the sink in the back and started scrubbing my hands with soap profusely.

I scrubbed hard as the rage ran out of me with hot tears of anger. I wanted to get his filth off my hands, off my soul. Suddenly I felt a heavy familiar hand on my shoulder before I felt Dyson's hands take mine on his own stopping my frantic movements.

"Lauren please stop, you're going to hurt yourself." He whispered and I turned and leaned into him sobbing hard.

"He's horrendous even now." I mustered between hiccups and felt Dyson's huge frame engulf me.

"I know, but it's all over now. He'll go to his plane tonight and it'll be over." Dyson assured me and I shook in his arms as he let out a sigh.

Not long after I recovered from my breakdown as Tamsin told us Hale gave us the all-clear. Gregory was now in the airport about to walk out of our lives again non-the-wiser to what had gone down. I was shaken about the advances he had put on me barely making it subtle reminded me what he had done to Bo and why he was here so his distance was appreciated.

Ryan had arrived not long after to take down the warehouse stage. He didn't know much of what was going on but he was very willing to help. Dyson had told him he had a case where this dangerous pedophile was coming through town and we were undercover to get blood samples. Ryan seemed happy to be included in the operation and gave us his full cooperation.

I had recovered by then as Tamsin and I gathered the boxes of data and samples to take to the clinic. We left Dyson and Ryan in the warehouse and set out eager to get to work on everything. Tamsin looked focused on the drive back but I could see the anger in her demeanor as well. I knew the way she was setting her jaw harshly was not good.

"Spit it out Tamsin." I demanded as she threw me a searing glare.

"You have been carrying your burdens and Bo's burdens along with how fucking sick your child is and you don't let anyone in Lauren." Tamsin snapped and I looked up to her in surprise.

"Tamsin I can't do this today… not about Bo." I sighed looking down at my hands.

"Yeah yeah, you never have time to make sure you're good. Listen, stop being a jackass and let people fucking help you. This guy… you should've told Bo…" Tamsin mentioned with a disapproving tone.

"No. Absolutely not." I firmly countered.

"Lauren for fucks sake this is not just some fucking girlfriend like Nadia or Krystal, this is the mother of your little girl. I see the way you get when you talk about Bo, about her being with Fleur, how good of a mother she is. You're dating someone you love and someone who loves your daughter as much as you possibly do. This is absolutely NOT who you keep secrets from. When I got absolutely trashed and fucked up Dyson was still next to me COMPLETELY AWARE of my problems because he cared and I knew I needed to let him in." she raged on.

"Tamsin we've talked about this and I've told you everything I've dared without invading Bo's privacy." I hiccupped overwhelmed by Tamsin's words. "How can you possibly think this would not break her to the point of danger, to the point of relapse."

The confession coming solidly from my lips took me aback, it was frightening to think that this in end was my ultimate fear. I was a doctor and I knew that I would live with this fear forever in my heart, but after last night it was so palpable and real. The dream had felt like the worst case scenario as well as a glimpse of a dull future.

"Oh my fucking God you imbecile!" Tamsin groaned as we pulled into the clinic and she found a parking space. "You don't fucking trust her at all!"

"What?! I absolutely trust Bo, she has my daughter in another fucking city!" I countered as we both got out of the car and Tamsin squinted her eyes at me.

"No, you know what, you convince yourself you trust Bo but you absolutely fucking don't. You trust Bo 'the mother' to deal with hockey and play the stepford wife and come be your heroine but you don't trust Bo YOUR LOVER. You don't trust her to deal with problems, you shield her and you LIE to her Lauren." Tamsin spat the words in my face as she looked at me firmly.

"I…" it was barely a whisper off my mouth, her words were resonating with me deeply.

"From what I've gathered she's fucking been a rock-star about this all. She's stood tall against things like you guys banging bits even though she probably wanted to fuck your brains out in an abysmal way. She's been in restaurants with alcohol around her, which I can attest to, is a fucking bitch. Bo has been strong in front of you and you refuse to acknowledge it." Tamsin continued as I looked down tears falling from my eyes.

"Smarten up Lewis, I won't last you forever. When your woman comes back you tell her all of this. Trust that she can handle it and deal with it as it comes if she can't. Be transparent; Dyson and I have that, you wouldn't imagine how much better it feels when someone else is helping you with that load on your back."

With that she grabbed a few boxes from the trunk and walked into the lab leaving me there with my thoughts. I was petrified of everything she had said, everything it entailed. I couldn't understand how much I had ignored all these things that Tamsin pointed out in minutes. The guilt was staggering as I realized all I had done was lie and lie and lie again to Bo. She deserved better than this and the fact that Tamsin had stepped up to show me that was mind-blowing.

I picked up my phone and decided to call Bo. I didn't want to alert her to anything but selfishly I longed for her cheerful voice and fresh demeanor. I needed to re-set from this funk if I was going to work on Fleur's cure. I dialed the number I knew by heart out of habit and waited.

"Well hello there Doctor. Thought you had a shift at the ER." I could hear the smile on Bo's voice and it instantly calmed me as I pictured it.

"I'm going to the clinic right now, I have a breakthrough on Fleur's case." I side-stepped the comment with a truth hoping to gain points with my conscience.

"Oh that's wonderful news! She had her hashish oil treatment for today already before we went shopping with Kenzie so we're seizure free for today." Bo celebrated as I smiled sadly to myself.

"I'm glad this treatment has kept her healthy so far." I confessed when I heard someone talk to Bo in the background. "Baby where are you? It's so quiet… did you go into the bathroom?"

"I have to go baby, be safe. Oh! Please, please PLEASE watch SportsNet tonight. I have a small spot in there with a script so I know you'll recognize my wording and phrases!" Bo stressed and I chuckled.

"Alright, I'll play script jeopardy with you." I admitted and she laughed a bit.

"I love you Lauren, see you soon." She whispered and with that she was gone.

I walked inside and refreshed myself before getting to work. Bo's words of love without any coaxing meant volumes to me. When I came in Tamsin didn't see the harm in it and gave me half a cupcake to calm my nerves and help me focus. It completely did and for the time being I felt almost completely normal. I was able to focus on my task and break down the workload in front of me. Tamsin worked diligently too and when the evening crawled around she stretched out and gave me a smile.

"I have to go, Dyson and I are having dinner now that this whole thing is done and this asshole it on a plane. You wanna hit the new place on Clarence with us?" Tamsin offered hopeful and I shook my head.

"I want to watch something when I get home since Bo asked me to watch. I think her scripts have been getting picked up more and more." I smiled proudly and shook my head. "Do enjoy your time with Dyson for me please?"

"Will do. Don't stay back too late." She begged and I nodded.

I got back to a couple of samples after she left making some annotations from the observations I was making. I was tired with the lack of sleep last night but I couldn't help and push through a bit more. After a while I realized I had to rush home to see the show and got up in a whirl to pick up my stuff. As I drove home I couldn't help but let my mind wonder to what Tamsin had said to me and I frowned knowing she was right. I had to come clean with Bo when she came home.

When I came inside I threw my keys onto the mantel excited to turn the TV on to see which script I thought had come from Bo. I used to review some of her stuff sometimes so I was familiar with the style of her commentary when it came to sports. When I turned the light on from the lamp besides the couch I froze in unbridled fear. There on my recliner sat Gregory with his arms crossed across his chest. His menacing blue ice eyes followed me like a predator and I felt the terror run through me as I realized I was alone with this man now.

"Good evening Doctor Lewis." His voice chilled me to the bone but I didn't want to show him any kind of weakness so I held my chin a bit higher weighing in my mind the possibilities of escape.

"Get, out." I firmly asked as he shook his head.

"Quite a security system you've got on this place… yet, of course if one knows the code…" Gregory's smile grew and I took a step back. "Door's locked now Doc, I will catch you before you reach it."

"What are you doing here? Get out before I call the cops!" I warned and he laughed.

"Go ahead and I'll talk to them about a little thing called fraud. I mean, I did meet a Dr. Beaty that looked remarkably like you but I realize now that a Dr. Lewis lives here." Gregory countered and I snarled in anger.

"What do you want?" I asked as my heart hammered.

"I want the truth, why did you trick me?" he asked and I shook my head as I braced myself when he got up and walked over to me. "Why little old me?"

"I don't know, I'm just following orders." I covered and his smile grew sadistically.

"Now let's not be naïve here Lauren. I saw your phone earlier." Gregory's words froze me.

It couldn't be, could it? It still didn't explain how he got here and why he wasn't on a plane on his way to hell. I shook my head in anger that he had broken the sanctity of my home and gave him a hard look. My bravado was just for a moment but it fueled my rage after his next words.

"Where's that lil thigh pussy Bo at?" he whispered and my eyes grew in horror at his thick southern accent. "Looks like she couldn't keep her legs close neither."

In a second I had drawn back and clocked him in the eye hard snapping his face back. It was solid punch and I knew my wrist was broken instantly. The adrenaline ran through me and as I turned to walk towards the door I felt my hair being pulled on hard back. Gregory gave me a menacing smile and before I could do anything he had grabbed me by the throat looking into my eyes.

"I see you know how to play rough Doctor, I feel myself hardening already." His voice sent chills down my spine.

I hit his arm hard multiple times with no success and then kicked him between the legs as he buckled and dropped me. I struggled for breath crawling on the floor and threw a kick at him landing hard on his face. He got up bleeding and pinned me to the floor as I yelled and tried to flip us over with no luck. I could hear his ragged breath against me as he pressed his hardened erection against me and I yelled even louder as I struggled in a deep panic. Suddenly I felt his body leave me and I looked up to see Ryan with Gregory in a chokehold.

"Are you alright?" Ryan asked desperately as I gasped and nodded. "Who the fuck is this?"

"If you don't let me go I'll fucking take your Medical licence, your friends, the cop's badge… I'll find Bo and I'll make you suffer, I'll take you fucking all!" Gregory warned before Ryan tightened his hold.

His words chilled me as I knew I couldn't lose my medical licence, neither could Tamsin, not if we wanted to fix Fleur. My eyes met Ryan's as he shook his head in the negative. I was at a loss at the moment. I had no guarantees he would adhere to his promise, but I couldn't really take the chance he stuck around and realize Fleur was actually his. I wasn't sure what to do but I was sure of what I didn't want.

"We'll let you go in the airport, where you'll stay until the next flight out. Don't ever come back. Like you said we're a cop and two Doctors, we can get rid of you quite quickly. We'll be watching, and we'll know." I warned with false bravado as Gregory held his hands up in surrender and nodded.

"Go call Dyson, I can hold him for a little bit." Ryan offered and I nodded still gasping and fumbled for my phone.

Dyson and Hale were here fast, they rushed from the station where Dyson was taking care of a case. Hale made sure to get Gregory in zip ties while Ryan explained what he saw and heard. Tamsin had been unreachable taking a call in the ER that I hadn't been able to respond to in our struggle. After I explained the conditions and the situation to Dyson he set out with Hale. Together they escorted Gregory to the airport setting up an independent officer to make sure he got on his flight.

In the meantime Ryan insisted I came with him to his house. There was a clear sign of a struggle in the landing of the house and I just couldn't handle being there right now. I felt like I could see it happening time and time and time again. I could hear Ryan on the phone as cupboards rung out through the house, his TV on but muted. I took a minute to check out my wounds in the guest bathroom and assessed myself trying not to crumble into tears as I washed my face.

When I came back Ryan had sat next to my spot on the couch and with shaking hands he had rolled two big fat joint after giving me a bag of peas for my bruises. He gave me a gentle look as he inspected the beauties before handing me one and putting the other on top of the table. I couldn't believe how everything had gone to shit so fast.

"Jesus Fuck Lauren, who the fuck was that?" Ryan asked me after lighting the joint as I took a hard drag hoping to calm my edge.

"That… that was Bo's… Fleur's…" I mumbled incoherently but the light of realization shone in his eyes and his head snapped at me.

"You've got to be fucking with me." Ryan whispered as he shook with rage.

"…But he's gone now right?" Ryan asked as we kept passing the joint between us and I nodded.

"He should be, Dyson put surveillance on him to make sure he gets in the plane." I explained and Ryan nodded understanding.

"Why was he here?" Ryan asked and my voice shook.

"He was in Toronto because I needed his blood. He was in my house because he wanted to get to Bo." I explained full of new anger.

"It's done now." Ryan tried as he opened his embrace to me on the couch.

I didn't know to feel right now about everything that had happened and in the vulnerability I felt by being alone at home I took his offer and curled into him. Ryan held me gently, like a big brother trying to fix your broken heart after prom. I was grateful he had come in when he did as I realized that the possibilities of this monster hurting me had come to be very high. I saw as Ryan took the remote and turned the TV up as emotion covered me and I started to cry.

"Oh no" I lamented and Ryan looked down at me worriedly.

"What is it Jedi Momma?" Ryan wondered as I chuckled a bit rubbing my tears away as my bottom lip quivered.

"I missed Bo's script." I hiccupped and Ryan shushed me shaking his head clicking the remote.

Before long Ryan had found the recording of the show we had missed with all the commotion. He rubbed my arm slightly as the countdown show before the SportsCentre started with number 2. Ryan assured me that he always recorded two minutes before the show he wanted. I settled into the couch humming the song for the show as always as it announced it was a special CFL edition of SportsCentre.

My eyes widened as my eyes fell on Bo on the television set. She looked amazingly gorgeous with no sign at all that she had a black eye under undoubted layers of makeup. Her hair framed her face perfectly with soft waves. For some odd reason she had a full suit on and even though it wasn't exactly her size she looked very good in it. I smiled as her smile greeted the camera and her voice reached my ears.

"Good evening Canada and beyond, this is Ysabeau Lewis and this is my partner Roger Gruyani as we dig into this special edition on SportsCentre CFL Hometown Summer Series." Bo opened the show and I tuned out as the guy took over thinking about the gesture.

Bo had taken my name on her first public media appearance. The bell rung and Ryan gave me a look while he paused the recording and I stared at Bo's stilled image as my chest swelled with pride. Ryan went to answer the door as my heart hammered in fear and anxiousness. I stared at Bo's image and calmed myself. It eluded me why Bo had used my last name like in the arena, but I liked it, it gave me emotions I couldn't quite handle at the moment. Seeing her in the screen was seeing her lifelong dream come true before my very eyes. It was then that I heard Evony's voice talking to Ryan.

"Where's the good doctor now? I heard Evony's voice come to my ears as my head snapped up towards the door.

"Fuck Ryan why did you call Dr. Marquise?" I groaned and he shook his head.

"That you say you don't need a Doctor doesn't mean it's true Lauren. I'm checking you whether you want me to or not." Evony mentioned as she put her medical kit down.

"You're a therapist." I mentioned at a loss for words and she gave me a scoff.

"I also studied medicine like your ungrateful ass." The other Doctor scoffed and shooed Ryan away so she could check me over.

I had checked myself over in the bathroom after Ryan had brought me over here but now I felt so tired so suddenly I wasn't sure if I was concussed. Begrudgingly I let Evony check me over as Ryan had busied himself outside doing something. Her hands were elegant but gentle and they moved expertly even though I could tell she hadn't practiced general medicine in a long while. I followed her directions and let myself be led by the older woman with exhaustion.

"Besides the broken wrist and neck bruising you were very lucky Doctor Lewis." Evony mentioned and I nodded slightly. "I can help you splinter the arm but you should really see a specialist."

"I'd like to splinter it for now, I'll go see the specialist tomorrow." I assured as I leaned back into the couch and let out a deep breath.

"Lauren…" I opened my eyes to see Evony standing over me with a concerned yet gentle look to her. "You look like you need to talk…"

"I don't want to talk about it." I gritted my teeth and my nose flared with anger.

"Lauren-" She tried once more but I glared at her shaking my head.

"What is there to talk about?" my voice grew in loudness as the anger rolled off me like waves making way for all other feelings like fear. "Should we talk about how I almost got killed by the man who destroyed my girlfriend's life? Should we talk about the fact that I cannot seem to tell her the truth? Or how about we talk about the insane and preposterous notion that our daughter is ill and I cannot fucking cure her because I'm not goddamn smart enough? Should we talk about the fact that I have no possible idea of what I am doing and that…that I brought that **monster** into our lives now. Or How about we talk about how I live in terror of losing to relapse the best thing that has ever happened to me? Take your fucking pick Evony."

"Anger is just as good to let out as frustration Lauren." Evony assured me softly as she leaned in and brushed the hot tears coming down my cheeks. "When you talk to Bo about this-"

"Bo doesn't know." I whispered with a flinch as her eyes widened in surprise.

"You're playing with fire Doctor, be careful here." Evony warned and I nodded.

"I will tell her when she comes back." I told both myself and Bo's Doctor.

"You don't seem to understand here Lewis. Bo's trust is not something the woman gives out lightly. People who have been constants in her life like Ryan and Kenzie still don't have the level of trust she's bestowed upon you… Reality is, I don't know how she will react from being lied to about her deepest darkest abomination in life." They way Ebony's lament reached my ears put me into a high state of panic and I guess she read it in my eyes.

"I… what do I do?" I mumbled unsure.

"Hope for the best Lauren… **pray** she doesn't feel betrayed to the point of relapsing and I don't mean that to add to the staggering pile of shit you've got in your hands right now... but fuck Lauren, you're a Doctor!" Her tone held worry and I buried my head in my hands as the warning washed over me.

"I know" I breathed as my hands shook.

"Gee, see? This is why I don't do house-calls. I get too riled up and passionate and my professionalism goes out the window." Evony explained as she pointed to the various joints on the table. "I want you to polish one of these before I leave. Doctor's orders."

"Are you serious?!" I exclaimed as she nodded in deep seriousness.

"All of it."

After Evony had splintered me up I took the joint and lit it as she sat by my feet leaning her sleek beautiful face on her delicate hand. She was class and professionalism impersonated yet the sass from the woman was endless. I was grateful that she had dropped by, I had been adamant that I couldn't go to the ER knowing all my colleagues would be there. I couldn't explain the wounds I had without people jumping to conclusions; this much I knew.

As I smoked I took the liberty to press rewind and play watching Bo's introduction again. Even though she had a huge smile on her face with a cool demeanor the more she got into the reports the more I realized her discomfort. At some point her co-anchor looked flustered when they got to discussing the stats of some athlete or another. The man made an increasingly rude remark as his face flushed and Bo's tone along with her expression told me she was anything but impressed. In seconds the screen cut to commercials while Evony and I looked at each other quizzically.

"Well, what the fuck? Were they just about to brawl?" Evony asked as I shrugged as best as I could.

Before the discussion could continue Bo's beautiful face popped onto screen again as she smiled. I could tell it was a triumphant smile and I wondered what in the world had happened in that commercial break. I could hear Evony interested next to me as she looked on as well before my beautiful girlfriend began.

"You'll have to excuse my partner Roger who was not feeling well. Have no fear though because I will get you guys though your nightly sports fix." Bo explained and I could see her shoulders draw back as she fell back on her element.

I listened to her deliver report after report of information as I felt my eyes droop more and more after my joint was out. The soft lull of Bo's voice soothing me into a dreamless sleep that I wasn't winning against. The last thought in my head swam panicking my subconscious. _Would I be forgiven for opening Pandora's box?_


	17. Chapter 17

**Thanks for the patience with these chapters. We had the bro/sis-in-law visiting so we got a tad distracted. I also wanted to get the chapter 100% cohesive so it took a bit. Next chapters might be a bit delayed since I will be changing internet providers soon. I hope not, but we'll see. Please as always leave me some love in the reviews section.**

 **Shout out to all of you beauties who followed me on twitter! Last_Dragomir**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 17:**

" _Miss Lewis come on, it's cold outside you shouldn't be out here." Nana's voice reached my ears as I played in the mud._

 _As I saw the rounded face of the dark woman come into my vision I smiled widely. I loved Nana, she sang me to sleep every night before going down to her room. She was the closes thing I would ever have to a mother._

" _It's all stuffy inside and I cannot experiment on worms in there. Lucius doesn't like dirt." I reminded her as I wiggled my small feet._

" _Experiments is all you do these days Miss Lewis, how about something different. Like a sport or a physical activity, it'll keep you occupied during the cold months." Nana explained gently as she kneeled next to me brushing my blonde hair out of my face._

" _No, I didn't understand the kids last time we tried. They kept laughing at my clothes for some reason. I thought I was appropriately dressed, but not for their likes which ensued in a lot of teasing." I frowned and Nana shook her head._

" _You can't ignore people forever Miss Lewis, you're a young budding 10 year old now, how will you get guests for your birthday party?" Nana teased a bit._

" _I'm fine with you guys, you never laugh at me, just with me and you all treat me very well." I smiled "You're all my friends."_

" _Oh Miss Lewis…" a sad smiled drifted from Nana's mouth with her words "I hope someday you find someone who makes you understand that life is not all experiments and equations."_

" _I don't think such person could exist!" I laughed but little did I know there was two of them out there._

I woke up disoriented and sad. It had been a long time since I had dreamt about the people back on the manor. Even though Lucius wanted me to be aware that I could go back anytime I rarely ever did after Fleur was with me. Nana was gone, I knew that much, but there were people I knew that would still love to keep in touch with me. Maybe it was too much to bear, maybe it was me trying not to become RoboCop Lewis again. I found it strange however when I needed comfort the most to dream about my days in the manor.

I laid there on the couch for several minutes, not truly knowing what time it was. It smelled like weed smoke and the coppery smell of blood which confused me. I furrowed my brow trying to discern my surroundings beginning to wonder if I had indeed been concussed before and Evony perhaps missed it. With the darkness in the house I realized Ryan had probably stayed out. I vaguely remember him waking me to tell me he was going to help Tamsin reinforce my locks and then go visit a friend.

With a huge sigh I decided to move to Bo's bed, her scent would probably calm my fried nerves. I walked down the hallway trying to soothe my headache with my hands each step making my head pound. My arm was sore as well and my throat was just engulfed in a simmering consistent fire of pain. I closed my eyes really letting myself realize how lucky I had been that Ryan had walked in when he did. I could still feel that monster's erection pressed against me.

Suddenly the cold of terror blanketed my body as I heard movement in the bathroom. I started shaking with fear knowing nobody was supposed to be in the house with me tonight. Was **he** back? I shook my head subconsciously taking a step back when the door rattled. I held my breath in panic and agony as the door seemed to open in slow motion. When my eyes fell onto the figure I was fairly certain it was part of exhaustion, perhaps a mirage. My hand flew to my chest to calm my racing heart as I voiced my heart hoping against all hope that I was not dreaming and she was truly here.

"Bo?" my voice came out unsure as she nodded, her hair still damp.

"The one and only" she mentioned as she took a step towards me and I unintentionally flinched. "How are you? You seem worse for wear."

"I've been better." I whispered realizing this would not be a loving return to normalcy by the look in her eyes.

"Lauren-" Bo asked but I was firing off questions already.

"You were supposed to come on Monday… I…" I stammered as my mind fell into another possibility of their early arrival. "Is something wrong with Fleur?"

"No." Bo mentioned firmly setting her jaw harshly.

Suddenly I realized with a start that she was here. I could tell by the lighting outside in the sky that it was probably early morning nearing dawn. Had she come through the airport? Had she crossed paths with the devil? I prayed that they hadn't. I would imagine Bo would be much more of a wreck than this if that was the case. Yet I could tell something was wrong… off in some way. Her demeanor was different and the fact that neither Kenzie nor Fleur were with here rung alarm bells in my head.

"…Oh lord what time is it? Where's my phone? Hale-" I fired off before she pushed by me gently yet I could feel the fierceness in her demeanor.

"So it's true." She shook her head and I flinched into myself. "You knew he was here in the very least."

My eyes fell to the floor as I held myself to prevent me from shaking. I couldn't believe my world was about to come crashing down with no chance to redeem myself what-so-ever. I was trying to find the words to begin to explain my reasoning behind everything that transpired.

"I did… I brought him here." I whispered and she pushed past me along the living room.

Bo walked into the living room in a haste and started pacing around as I followed her into the living room disappointed this was going so wrong. I could feel the fury in which she was pacing the living room and I knew something must've happened, something **bad**. I sat on the couch and looked down ashamed as I held myself waiting for the wrath that was sure to come. I felt like that naïve little girl who didn't understand much aside from experiments. Bo right now was as confusing to me as everyone had been to me back then.

I watched as she sat down in the recliner and with trembling hands she reached for the tray on the table with which Ryan rolled the joints. I wasn't lost to me that her hands looked brutalized with wounds and scratches while her knuckles looked bruised and swollen. If I had to put my medical expertise to work I'd say those looked like offensive wounds. My mind ran a mile a minute, did someone call her to let her know about what had happened to me? Is this why she was back so early?

"Bo I can't… I can't take this silence, I'm so confused." I whispered breaking our silence but she let it prevail holding her slender finger up as she took her hit.

I waited. The curiosity was large within me, it was killing me but I tried to be patient. The kind of anxiousness I felt was odd, panicked yet calmed. It was as if I dreaded her words and couldn't quite wait for her to speak them at the same time. I was afraid of losing Bo, yet at this point I felt that my actions had made that inevitable. I could only hope that after telling her what had happened in my house she understood my actions enough not to relapse.

"I'm going to tell you what happened to me, and then you're going to tell me what happened to you. We'll go from there." she mentioned in a soft yet commanding tone that left no room for interpretation.

"Ok." My voice was barely audible.

"I won't get into the story of what happened and how I got on your TV, at least not now… However I will mention that we were coming home early to surprise you." Her words washed over me like a cold bucket of water. She had tried to do something great for me and now it was all a mess.

"When… when did you come in?" I asked in fear of the answer although deep down I knew the dreaded truth by the look in her eyes.

"Well, that's when the whole story gets messy Lau…We came in roughly around three. The airport was mostly silent, yet I **felt** off. I felt like I used to when I was 9 or 10 and **he** was watching me. Can you imagine that?"

I felt the angst drape over me at her sentence. The reality that I brought her such pain again was staggering. The fact that I had brought that pain here without any kind of warning towards her made me feel horrible now. Seeing her hold back tears and pause as her voice quivered was too much and pushed me to see the humongous error in my actions. I could help the sob that escaped my lips as the anguish I felt inside came up bubbling beneath the surface.

"Bo… I didn't-" I tried but she continued without missing a beat.

"At first I thought **I** wasn't right, you know? I thought that perhaps it was my anxiety picking up from the adrenaline rush of the great things happening like the game or the show. Once I saw Tamsin there I **knew** … that panicked face as soon as she saw Fleur could only mean one thing." She explained and I was confused.

"Tamsin?" I asked curious since I had been told she was at the hospital.

I wondered now what was kept from me. It was almost ironic how I was getting a taste of my own medicine. I was being kept in the dark about things it seemed and it felt bitter and rancid as I tried to swallow the fact that this confusion is what I was putting Bo through.

"Was he?" I asked needing to know.

"Yes but… I don't want to finish my story until you finish yours if that's ok with you…" Bo shook her head as her look keep distant.

"Bo…" I tried to begin, I needed know what had happened, if Fleur was safe… although I would think Bo would've mentioned any harm to her by now.

"I'm not ready to talk about it just yet." Her voice came so strained that I looked up and noticed how much her hands shook.

I knew those symptoms anywhere, Bo was going through a pretty hard withdrawal it seemed. I wanted to get up and run to her and soothe her, wrap my arms around her and promise her this would never happen again but how could I? This man had tracked me in my home after all the meticulousness we went through to protect our anonymity. I had clearly underestimated him and the callousness of his nature. I couldn't promise Bo things I couldn't keep. I could start turning my ship around with that.

Yet the more I looked at her the more guarded I felt. I didn't want to divulge everything to her just yet. Bo looked anxious and hardened yet frail. Her look was distant, yet it was everywhere at once and it scared me. It scared me that I was losing my Bo slowly, that I had driven her to that edge and instead of protecting her I had pushed her off. If I was smarter than I was perhaps I could build a time machine and trust Bo from the beginning, but that alas was wishful thinking.

I steeled my nerves to tell Bo what I dared for now. We would get into details of my well-being later, but for now she deserved to know as much of the truth as I could spare. I readied my professional voice, trying to convey as many facts as I could yet remaining guarded and impartial in my answers. It was, in a way, a form of protecting myself from reliving the experience I had just gone through.

"I suppose you want to know how Gregory was at the airport?" I asked and she nodded

"I do…"

"After much debate and consideration I realized that Gregory was an intrical part of figuring out a cure for Fleur. With the evidence of her condition receding towards immunity from her treatment Tamsin and I knew we had to do something. In the end I decided to set up a fraudulent operation where he would come and give us the genetic material under false pretenses." My voice was impartial but it was all I could do to keep it from trembling. "I thought it'd be best if we used the opportunity of your trip to keep Gregory as far away from both of you as we could-"

"You used me!?" Bo demanded alarmed as I flinched and cowered into myself a bit at the outburst.

This was going every kind of wrong that I could imagine. I felt like I was watching a train-wreck with no way of stopping it. I didn't understand why I couldn't be my calm collected self. I had a voice in my head literally screaming at me to tell Bo everything, yet my thoughts and mouth were rambling with no sense of coherence. I could've slapped myself at the moment as I scrambled to make things better, perhaps explain more eloquently.

"Bo, please, it's not like that. That's not what I meant… I'm nervous…" I pleaded but her voice cut through any forming thought with her fierceness.

"No… I see… you… you didn't trust me with Fleur… I was just the lesser of two evils." She whispered as I shook my head horrified she'd think that.

"No Bo please! That's not it at all…" I pleaded but she shook her head.

"Lauren… all I hear is the fact that you **do not** trust me whatsoever in any aspect of our lives. You might love me as you say you do and I love you as well, but you don't trust me" she finally admitted what everyone had been telling me. "Even if that wasn't it at all, how can I trust that to be the truth at this point?"

I felt cut deeply by those words. Bo didn't trust me anymore it seemed. If that was the case, how could I ever have hope of fixing things between us? Marquise had said gaining her trust in the first place was monumental so I wasn't even sure if it could be accomplished a second time. The thought of Bo not being in my life made me sick to my stomach. Now that I had experienced her vivacious energy and beautiful soul I was certain I couldn't go back to living without it. Yet like before it was a slow train-wreck I could only witness and not stop.

"I… I'm scared… I'm scared of the consequences of my actions." I admitted with a shaky voice as my tears spilled not knowing how to fix this, how to get back to the happiness we momentarily had.

"I have to live with mine Lauren." Bo snapped at me in such a way that in a second I feared; I feared for what I didn't know, I feared for what Bo had done.

"I…" I began yet I knew it'd be futile to ask if she didn't trust me, she wouldn't tell me anything.

"I will never be out of your life, because I will never abandon Fleur again, but maybe… maybe we should take a breather and revaluate our stance with one another." I flinched at her words feeling the burn in the pit of my stomach, the despair I felt of losing one of the greatest things in my life.

When our eyes met I knew mine were full of the unshed tears I felt. If I could beg with my eyes I would've but I felt like it would be a moot point. I didn't want to beg anybody to be with me, I had made that promise to myself a long time ago, yet right now I just wanted to cry out and call out to Bo. I wanted to reach out and beg, beg with all my might for her not to leave me. I wanted her to wrap her arms around me and tell me everything would be alright, that she loved me and we would get through this. Somehow I knew last night had not only changed me but Bo as well and I had no idea to get to that place where we were alright.

"I know being a recovering addict things will obviously be difficult with me and I know I'm no expert in relationships but we have to be able to trust one another with anything that comes up… especially something this big." She finished and I couldn't help the pathetic sound that came from my lips.

"Are we breaking up?" I asked losing the last of my composure and breaking down in a sob as tears ran down my cheeks "I don't want us to-"

"I don't either. I just want us to work on ourselves first, maybe later at some time where we're both healthy…" she whispered and the silence engulfed us.

I sat there stunned as I felt that my heart had stopped beating for a second. The despair I felt within me was so great that I had no words to describe the pain I felt. I wanted to reach out and fight this, I wanted to fight for us, I wanted us to be a family. How do you push someone who you've hurt so deeply to try and fix things.

Somehow the whole thing felt surreal. Like I was part of a bad romantic-comedy or that hidden cameras would appear out of nowhere to surprise me with a bad joke. I would take the beating I took a few hours ago over this devastation I felt a thousand times over. I couldn't help my brain from going in so many different directions that it gave me an instant splitting headache. The loudest in my head was the consequences this would have in Fleur's life. I wanted to beg Bo yet I couldn't. I didn't want to be the stereotypical separated family, yet here it was. No matter how much Bo wanted to say this wasn't the end, my heart felt cold and numb as if it was.

The silence filled the vast space between us that felt now like an abyss. I felt like Bo was a thousand miles away and I had pushed her there. It had been so effortless to fall in love with Bo, to have her use me as her pillar, to be strong for her and I that I had taken it for granted in every which way. I regretted so many things at this moment, but I most of all regretted not trusting Bo's recovery. I needed her so much and now I felt like she was gone. The sunshine bathing us did nothing for the darkness in my mind. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think all I could do was cry silently in the corner of the couch.

Suddenly I didn't feel like I should be here, like the space was tainted and my presence was an obstruction of her peace. I felt like I had nowhere to go now, my house didn't feel safe and I didn't feel like Bo welcomed me here anymore. Her words were clear she didn't want to break-up, yet her body was tense and cold.

"I understand." I whispered. "I will leave your-"

"Don't be dumb Lauren, you're not going anywhere until you recover. I might be a masochist but I cannot let you roam around like this in good conscience. I brought this problem into your life." She admitted and I shook my head, I didn't want her pity.

"I don't deserve your kindness Bo." I whispered knowing I didn't.

"I'm still going to give it to you. Please go lay down in my room, I'll be bringing Fleur home and I don't want her to be alarmed ok?" she asked gently as she made her way to the kitchen.

For a moment, my Bo was back, her tone was caring and warm and I heard the love in her voice. I closed my eyes hoping, begging the universe she'd come to her senses and let me explain. This was not something I was going to force on Bo, she was obviously not happy with what I had already said, so I was going to wait until she was ready if ever. I could see from earlier how fragile her psyche, her mind, and her soul was. I couldn't push that to the breaking point in case she was already there. I didn't hold animosity towards Bo for her reaction, for her lack of questioning my safety because I didn't know what had happened, I didn't know how she was either. I also didn't know if I should ask.

"What did you do to him?" I asked even though I was afraid.

"I'm sorry Lauren, I don't trust you enough with that information anymore." Her voice was cold again, the emotion gone.

As soon as the door closed behind her I felt myself collapse in uncontrollable sobs. I couldn't get a grip on myself and my emotions at the moment as I poured it all out in a crumpled heap on the floor. After a few minutes I picked myself up from the floor, suddenly I was afraid that she'd be back with our daughter and I'd distress her. I scurried quickly into Bo's room again feeling out of place and alone.

The room smelled like her, that earthy tone that I absolutely adored. I wanted to cry and I wanted to immerse myself in it again before inevitably Bo was no longer part of my regular life. I had hopes but I had doubts and with how clouded my mind was I could not fathom to make sense of anything right now. Against my better judgement I sought comfort on her bed and as I laid there I cried. Mostly I was crying for myself, but I was also crying for Fleur.

This was what I feared and then some. Fleur had gotten a taste of what two parents felt like, not only that, but two parents in love. I cried slightly harder at that notion that we had been together a very short time, yet it felt like our little family had been together a lifetime. Maybe it was because of the circumstances of our reunion, or maybe it was all the obstacles that we had to overcome for us to co-exist. Whatever it was made us stronger, love more fiercely and passionately towards one another. The connection not only between Bo and I but between Bo, Fleur and I was palpable and I was devastated. I was agonizing at the fact that I had taken that dynamic away from Fleur and now I was left with explaining why her Mom probably couldn't stand me now.

Thing was, I understood Bo to a certain degree. I wanted nothing to do with the man as soon as I met him. The fact that I had not trusted Bo was my own demise yet I didn't know if I'd take that back after seeing the monster the man truly was. In the end though I understood that it was my reasoning behind my actions that had gotten me to this point. I had not trusted Bo's sobriety and even though I did what I did to protect her, I should've counted her stronger than I thought. If I could only undo my mistake I would in a heartbeat. I could see Bo's mind and heart were strong now, that her sobriety was intact even after facing the man. _Facing the man._

My mind echoed the though and my brow furrowed in wonder. I had stopped crying as strongly as before letting soft hiccups escape me from time to time. I could feel my heartbeat racing as I thought about what could've happened in the encounter between Bo and Gregory. I was anxious to know what had transpired, it filled me with an undying need to know she was safe. Physically clearly she was, yet mentally I wondered where her mind had roughed and tumbled. What was it like to come face to face with the demon that took her innocence away? _I had done this to her._ I reprimanded myself with a sigh.

Bo's wounds along her hands frightened me to think about. Not because I was scared of her, but because I was scared of what I didn't know. What had happened when that encounter happened. I could almost be sure the wounds were fresh and consistent with something much more recent than the wounds she would exhibit from her fight with Nadia. Truth was, the more I had observed Bo's demeanor the more it reminded me of the distance she had after fighting Nadia. She was slightly removed back then as well, not as bad as now which was a million times over and I wondered how much these two instances correlated with one another.

 _Fleur had gone to Dyson's to rave to Tamsin about her Mom's game and saying her goodbyes before the trip effectively leaving us alone. Bo had gingerly laid down on the couch with a bag of peas on her ribcage while I hummed softly making her some tea. I wanted her to be comfortable and I wanted to cherish these precious moments together before she left. Before long her voice reached my ears and I smiled._

" _Babe?" I loved the way the nickname had affectionately replaced my name in her vernacular._

" _I'm coming." I assured and walked over to the couch with the steaming cup._

 _Her eyes met mined as I rounded the corner of the couch and I smiled as I handed her the cup and two ibuprofens for the pain. She had mentioned to me at some point that it was the only pain killer she could have with her past problems. Bo carefully sat up, her tanktop dipping more than warranted and I got an ample look at her breasts. Bo wasn't shy about her assets, yet every time I got a glimpse of them my pulse would quicken. I felt myself blush thinking about the woman in such ways when she didn't feel so well, yet I couldn't help it. The way she had handled herself on the ice and in that fight had completely dazzled me._

" _Thank you." Bo mumbled as she took the pills and gave me a weak quick smirk._

 _I frowned noticing her body language was off._

" _Is anything else bothering you?" I asked hoping to get the woman to open up._

" _I didn't like fighting in front of Fleur." She confessed. "I don't want to set a bad example."_

" _Well… it looked like Nadia wrote a check she couldn't cash." I said after a long moment of consideration. "Besides, Fleur admitted to me that you wouldn't fight if you didn't need to."_

" _She's right." Bo nodded after drinking her meds and sipping on her tea carefully as I sat beside her._

 _I could tell she wanted to continue and talk about this more so I let her. The tension was coming off her in waves and I could tell whatever this was, it was bothering her greatly._

" _If you saw me out there you'd think I'm pretty tough eh?" she chuckled with disdain. "But I wasn't able to fight when I had to. When I should've. I couldn't fight him."_

" _You were a child Bo." I mentioned gently as she shook her head._

" _I know… but who knows what would've happened if I knew how to protect myself then." Her voice was barely a whisper and her look was distant._

 _The way Bo's brow furrowed with a lone wrinkle between her brows let me know she was lost in thought, in memory perhaps. I shook my head and grabbed her face gently before kissing her lips trying to snap her out of her revere. She didn't respond at first but I was determined and pressed slightly harder as my fingertips delicately traced her jaw. I took her bottom lip between my own and gently nipped at it with my lips. I was greeted by a slight moan and her hands wrapped themselves carefully around me._

" _I can't be careless when I'm feeling low and angry." Bo whispered against my lips and I understood nodding against her kiss._

 _Her hands tangled in my hair as she pulled me closer and our lips found each other's again. She was careful with her movements but I could still feel the passion as she kissed me deeply._

I quickly snapped myself out of that train of thought as it brought a hard yearning to my heart that I couldn't quite measure. I tried convince myself that this was not the way I wanted things to end. I wanted to be stronger than this and fight for Bo and I to come to an understanding. I didn't want our family to break apart in such a way for Fleur's sake but also my own.

It was then and there that I decided that when Bo came back into the room I'd talk to her. I didn't want to push the brunette into something she didn't want but I would definitely plead my case for her to at least give me a chance at redemption. I didn't want to play the Fleur card to _keep_ her with me but our daughter's well-being did weigh heavily in my mind.

Not long after that I heard footsteps in the hallway. I couldn't help the tension in my body as I trembled in fear. I was scared of every unknown movement or sound now. I wanted to tell myself to get a grip on my emotions but as the footsteps grew heavier and louder I shrunk onto the duvet as I shut my eyes.

 _I could feel his breath hot on my neck, his body pressed against mine tightly as his hands roamed my struggling body. His cologne mixed with mint almost gaged me and I felt like vomiting when I felt his hard erection against my ass and felt myself grow cold._ _ **He was going to break me like he had broken Bo.**_

I broke out of the memory as I heard Kenzie's voice quietly in the hallway. I had left the door ajar hoping Bo would join me or at least come in so I could talk to her. It was selfish of me but I needed her comfort more than anything at this very moment. I was sure she didn't want much to do with me but I needed Bo.

"I told her you had to talk to the Doc but that both of you were good. She got tired out by Dyson they were wrestling for a while." I overheard Kenzie as my heart quickened when they drew close.

"I appreciate you keeping her calm." Bo mentioned and I heard when she grabbed the doorknob.

"You heading to bed?" Kenzie asked softly before Bo hesitated.

"I can't." her voice was barely a sigh before she closed the door to her room and with muffled whispers they walked away.

I closed my eyes in anguish as I let out a deep sigh. I couldn't bring myself to get up and walk up to where I knew Bo was. I knew she wanted to be alone if she couldn't even come into her own room. I curled up in a small ball as time passed me by, the sun changing its stance once or twice. I couldn't sleep with how much I was crying, how much I was feeling at the moment. I stared at the ceiling as I felt the minutes drone by.

Silently I tried to bury my sorrows and thought about how much this day had completely gone to shit. Perhaps if I could find this cure Bo would begin to consider to forgive me. I sat up knowing I wasn't going to sleep and took a look around the room. I saw Bo's laptop on top of the desk plugged into its charger. I didn't want to invade her privacy but the fact that everything of mine was inside the house made me shiver.

With a last thought I wiped the tears off my face and threw the covers off me quickly. I was now determined more than ever to show Bo how much I cared about both her and Fleur. I wanted to find this cure and put our worries at ease so we could move forwards and away from this chapter of our lives. I couldn't give up hope knowing I loved Bo the way I did.

With a few keystrokes after sitting at her desk the computer lit up with a picture of us and Fleur in the background. I almost cried again but shook my head steadying my resolve. I would work hard at the lab, find a cure for Fleur and in the meantime I would work on myself. Bo was right in the end and I had to work on trusting her if I wanted her back in my life. If I could find a way to prove to her my confidence in Bo's judgement I would 100% without a second thought. Until that moment presented itself I would keep busy and work on this cure, work on myself, work to get Bo back whenever she decided to come back to me. I couldn't give up.

In the end I had to trust that to love Bo had for me equalled the one I had for her and that I could believe any given day. To me it was as clear as the fact that Bo loved our daughter. I would put my pride aside and talk to Bo tomorrow hoping she'd agree to keep things ambiguous for now in front of Fleur. I didn't want my baby to anguish over such adult things like the ones happening right now. This was way above her head and I would do anything to protect her and her Mother.

As I started an encrypted page and opened the remote access to the lab and its information I felt some sort of peace in my heart. I had a plan and when Lauren Lewis had a good plan things usually turned out for the better. While my fingers blew on the keyboard and typed away reading, writing and analyzing I blanked my mind from the pain in my heart for now. If I concentrated on Fleur's cure I was sure time would make everything else fall into place. At least for my heart and my sanity I hoped so.


	18. Chapter 18

**Happy Easter everybody! Thanks for the continues patience while I search for a internet/cable provider. I encourage reviews please and thank you. And as always my two ladies are only human and have human reactions through it all! Please be advice this chapter may contain triggers or violence.**

 **Shout out to all of you beauties who followed me on twitter! Last_Dragomir**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Chapter 18:**

 _I sighed after much debate with myself, it was around dinner time and I could hear the voices of the house filter through to Bo's room. I had not slept a wink but I had put my time to good use and gotten a load of work done. The tiredness was weighing heavy on me and took me by surprise when I examined myself in the mirror recently. There were dark circles under my eyes and I had thrown on one of Bo's windbreakers so I could zip it up covering my bruised neck which looked horrible._

 _The smell of fried chicken hit me making me realize I was starving and my stomach made a grumbling sound that was much too loud for my taste. I made my way towards the kitchen where Ryan and Kenzie were talking about the trip the girls had just taken. I could hear a TV on in the background with Naruto on. Ryan's eyes softened as he saw me walk in and he gave me a sad smile to cover the cringe he had been holding back. Kenzie broke our stare with a squeal._

" _Listen, I don't know much of what happened, or what is happening for that matter." Her arms wrapped around me gently as she continued. "But I'm very glad you're safe Doc."_

 _Her gentle tone caught me off guard. Kenzie was always loud and vivacious, yet here she was being gentle and careful. I was about to answer her when the voice reached my ears making my hands tremble in anticipation. I closed my eyes letting out a big sigh and Kenzie squeezed my shoulder in anticipation._

" _Momma?" Fleur's voice was uncertain as if she was scared of the answer._

 _I turned softly to meet her questioning gaze and her eyes widened in surprise as her eyes landed on my bruised cheek. I must've looked rougher than I thought because I saw Fleur's lip tremble as she reached for my cheek gently. I couldn't take the confusion and sadness in her eyes as mine met them._

" _What happened?" Fleur breathed in surprise as I faked a smile and shook my head._

" _Don't worry, I just had a little accident." I covered hating that I sounded like some of my patients._

" _A little accident!? Mother you look like you ran into a Mac truck." Fleur whined at me with skepticism written all over her._

 _I almost caved in and told her things I shouldn't have. I almost grabbed her broadening shoulders and told her to run and never let this monster get her. To my utter relief Kenzie interjected for me in a split second, letting me catch my bearings with the situation._

" _Did you finish Naruto? Cause we gotta go missy, I had already told you we were on a time limit." Kenzie exaggerated pushing Fleur towards the garage._

" _But momma…" Fleur protested as Kenzie shook her head._

" _She already told you she had an accident and we have to go. You told me one more Naruto and then we would leave. Chloe is waiting for us already, come on." Kenzie pushed the girl who with a resigned breath gave me one last glance before letting herself be led away._

 _With a heavy conscience I tried to make myself some coffee. Ryan was making easy chatter about how shitty his date was and the weather. We both knew I wasn't listening but bless him for trying to fill the space effortlessly. It helped my mind wonder off without the fear of someone sneaking behind me. After a few more beats I finished making my coffee but I heard the silence envelop me as Ryan had grown quiet._

 _When I turned around our eyes met. Her brown orbs staring into mine with such compassion it was almost unbearable. It was my Bo most definitely. Ryan made some sort of snort or scruff and got up from the kitchen table ready to leave._

" _Fleur and Kenzie just left. I have to get to a meeting. Call me if anything." Ryan mentioned towards Bo who met his eyes and gave a nod._

" _Of course. I'll be leaving shortly as well, station wants me to sign up as soon as possible." Bo replied with a smile towards Ryan who returned it._

 _The woman looked as glorious as she always did. Her tight sports leggings showing all the muscles on her legs perfectly sculpted with the reps I knew she did every day. As always when she exercised she had on her sports bra and not much else, I could see every well-defined muscle on her but I could also see the bruising on her rib getting deeper and her knuckles a healthy shade of purple nearing black._

 _I frowned deeply as my doctorate kicked in and I approached her in a second about to examine her to make sure my initial assessment was correct. With a small step backwards she put space between us and held up a duffle bag to create a barrier between us. The change hurt me, I wasn't going to lie, but I could see as her eyes down-casted that she was confused and troubled. I coiled my hand and stepped back not knowing how to act around her anymore. This just fueled the thoughts that we were indeed over and that I wasn't over-analyzing the situation._

" _I'm sorry…" I whispered as I closed my eyes to push the quiver off my voice._

" _No, it's ok… I just… I'd rather not be touched at the moment if that's alright." Bo whispered as well and I nodded._

 _It felt like when we had first interacted with one another when she came to Toronto. I had to be cautious now, careful and God-knows if she would ever let me touch her again. My hand trembled and I steadied it on the duffle bag she was offering me as I nodded in understanding._

" _What's this?" I asked tensely as she shifted her weight to her other foot._

" _I went to work-out and thought you might want some clothes." Bo offered as her eyes scanned my face for the first time._

 _I saw her jaw set tightly as she shook her head and almost mesmerized she walked over to me. It was as if with a single switch Bo, my girlfriend was here again being her caring compassionate self. It was giving me whiplash, her suddenness, but I reminded myself that I didn't know what had happened last night to trigger these things in her. Bo's eyes fell to her track jacket I was now wearing, I was suddenly very self-conscious about wearing her clothes. With a swift movement I reached the zipper and pulled it down ready to find something of mine. I didn't want Bo to feel uncomfortable for the assumption of trust I had and I already felt bad as it was._

" _I'm sorry… I just…" I mumbled as she frowned reaching for my hands._

" _No, Lauren, it's fine really…" she started almost with a smile on her tone that slowly faded away as she grew silent._

 _I felt my eyes fall on our hands which she was holding in her trembling ones. Her touch was something I had missed, yet the tenseness I felt now was unmistakable as I knew she had reverted back. When my eyes rose I saw hers fixated on my bruised throat where I knew the fresh hand marks showed exactly where he had choked me. I let go of her hands with a start completely taken by shameful surprise at her blatant staring._

 _I yanked open the duffle-bag as I rummaged through it. It wasn't lost on me that Bo had grabbed my favourite items carefully it seemed. Unlike myself, Bo was very observant when it came to people and with this little sentiment I realized she was trying to comfort me with all my favourite things. I found my worn-out college turtleneck and threw that on quickly after putting her wind breaker on the counter. I wanted to somehow thank her for being so detailed with me, it showed me that deep down somewhere Bo still cared._

 _However as I looked up I realized that my Bo was no longer there. She was lost to the abyss that held us apart now with darkness. It was that silence that only grew and grew between us making me want to scream at the millions of speculations I felt dancing in my head. If we could just talk, then perhaps… just perhaps…_

" _I have some papers to sign. Fleur and Chloe were going to the movies so she won't be back for a while. I haven't really talked to her about anything…" Bo's tone was so distant almost angry and robotic and I felt almost seared by the burn it left in my heart._

" _I… I have work to do." I whispered as Bo nodded and looked far away for a second._

" _I'll see you around" She said dismissively but I almost couldn't take it._

" _Bo… I can stay somewhere else… you can have your room back." I offered almost wanting her to kick me out, to treat me bad. It would be better than this misery._

" _No, please… just stay comfortable. Use my things." Bo pushed the caring tone with a fleeting look before her eyes scanned me once more the fierceness there once again._

I grumbled at the memory of our first messy interaction after it was all said and done. All of our encounters had been like this most of the time, it was incredibly frustrating to me but I couldn't find the tools to snap us out of it. Just when I thought she was getting closer to me something would push her ten paces back.

I was nothing but a bundle of nerves throughout the days or maybe even weeks that had passed since that day. With how much I was working and submerging myself into work, it was hard to tell the days apart. Nothing but research and Fleur's cure made sense to me anymore. Unwillingly, I could feel myself grow reserved with each day that stretched between Bo and I. It was like that never-ending abyss growing bigger and bigger between us. It had been hard but given Bo's distance from me, we had sat down with Fleur and explained we were taking a break. The young girl was sad but nodded knowing that sometimes things were complicated. It wasn't like I hadn't tried to speak I reminded myself as I shook my head in total frustration. I just couldn't get to Bo.

Lately I was frustrated, livid even. I had hit a snag in the only thing that was keeping my mind off of Bo, which was the research. It was unlikely that this was going to be easy, but the fact that we weren't getting any results from the DNA collected was downright depressive. I had done any possible avenue and test Tamsin or I could possibly thing of. There were dozens of formulas tested on the samples we had on Dr. Reid's advice and yet we still found nothing. I was beginning to get discouraged when I leaned back trying to think about the positive progress I had made at counselling today.

I was anxious to get to the house, yet I was unsure if I would have the courage to get things going the way I wanted to. Bo and I were still a huge mess and it seemed like one of us taking that first step was strictly taboo. I kept working on myself hoping that when she wanted us to actually talk about things I would be ready.

My mental health lately had suffered quite a lot. It was only now after everything that had happened that I could see I had some sort of PTSD from the incident. I was also very aware of the fact that Fleur, Bo and that demon were not my only worries in life. There were skeletons in my closet as well that had accompanied me until now. It seemed when everything reached a boiling point I had in avertedly blown up or imploded. As Cassie would say, not out of weakness but out of being strong for too damn long.

"Did you fucking sleep here?" I jumped as I heard Tamsin's disapproving voice come into my space.

"No!" I threw a glare and a frown at her as I tried to calm my racing heart.

"Oh yeah?" the blonde's look as she threw on her lab coat told me she didn't believe me.

"I had an appointment with Cassie this morning, so no… I didn't sleep here." I huffed as I crossed my arms like a small child.

"How's Assy doing?" Tamsin snorted with a chuckle putting a steaming bowl of pho in front of me with chopsticks and a spoon.

"Don't call her that, she hates it…" I shook my head disapprovingly as I dug in while she did the same. "She still hates your guts."

"Ah that tends to happen when you steal a girl's man." Tamsin laughed as I widened my eyes in surprise.

"…after you fucked the girl and then broke her heart! Tamsin you were bad to Cassie!" I reminded her of college as she shook her head.

"I told her from the beginning I was probably just going through a phase and get the dickies afterwards!" Tamsin defended as I shook my head incredulously.

"She's still amazed I hang out with you lunatic." I mused as Tamsin's laughter rolled through the lab.

This was why I had become a workaholic as of late. Being in the lab with Tamsin made me feel some semblance of normality I had seemed to lose when Bo had come into my life. It wasn't a jab on Bo or our relationship, it was bad timing and life getting their way with me. I was convinced that much to Bo's amazement, it was not her that was broken in the end but myself.

" _You've been coming in for the past few days, you've been silent or talked about menial things. You bring lunch and we chat" Cassie's chuckle was genuine and it distracted my heavy thoughts. "In the end Lauren, I'm a shrink and I know trouble when I see it."_

" _I just needed a break." I tried to deflect as I put my food down._

 _The first trip to Cassie's office had come on a whim, more like a desperation move than anything. I hadn't slept well in days throwing myself more and more into work as Bo continued to play hot and cold with me. Hot and angry rather. Fleur had started to suspect something was amiss and today she had caught me off guard crying in the bathroom. I had faked hurting my toe to escape her scrutiny and with a hurried pace left the house knowing Bo was taking Fleur to the rink soon. I had started distancing myself from the activities we did together in hopes of not damaging Fleur and Bo's relationship with one another. I had almost crashed the car twice in my escape and between the tears and my hiccups of sobs I ended up by a bridge in the outskirts of the city. When I contemplated how it would feel to just close my eyes and give up on it all I_ _ **knew**_ _I had to see Cassie._

" _We all need a break sometimes… I was hoping you would want to talk about it Lau." Cassie mentioned slowly taking me out of my thoughts._

" _I don't know…" I whispered feeling the tears come up to my eyes once more._

" _Let's start off slowly, after all we haven't seen much of each other recently." Cassie gave me a soft smile and it felt like back in college when we were best friends making me want to open up._

" _This is about Bo." I admitted before shaking my head "but in reality it isn't much about Bo and more about me."_

" _I thought you and Bo were doing well, you had told me on the email you had met her therapist." Cassie asked slightly confused as I nodded feeling overwhelmed by the want of letting it all out._

" _Well we were and then we weren't. It's very hard to explain but I'll try." I admitted pushing the food away._

" _I'll try to follow and mention if I fall behind." Cassie assured me and I nodded with a sad smile._

 _I proceeded to explain everything in detail leaving nothing behind. I talked about how Bo had opened up to me, how I had been working on the cure, how I promised her to fix things. I even told her about the scam and the attack as I saw the horror in her face. She had cleared her schedule and I had quite literally spoken for hours._

Even though progress had been made and I no longer wanted to throw myself to the bottom of a lake we had started seeing each other every other day for sessions. Today was no different, I had gone by in the morning and we had talked about my frustrations in the lab a bit before we veered back to where we had left off the last time.

"Earth to Flipper." Tamsin mocked and I hit her shoulder. "What!? You've been a space cadet for like half an hour with noodles hanging from your mouth you jerk. Get your shit together and don't choke."

With a smirk and a ruffle to my hair she was gone to her desk as I laughed liking that Tamsin and I had seemed to get back to being friends. I had missed her with everything going on and now more than ever our friendship had solidified. She kept telling me she was neutral to this Bo and I thing, that she had been through some things with Bo that would forever make them soul sisters or whatever. On the other hand she kept telling me she had raised my child with me through thick and thin and so our bond was indestructible as well. I didn't turn to her about romantic things anymore but for office comfort and bestie she was the best.

After I had finished my meal and texted Fleur back to Kenzie's phone I decided to get some more work done before I headed to the house. It wasn't until Tamsin pointed out that it was so late already that I decided I needed to leave. I was anxious getting in the car thinking of everything that had led me to this point. From our previous encounters I knew she was very skittish and reserved now a days. I couldn't for the life of me understand what would set her off lately but Cassie kept insisting these were things Bo needed to deal with as well.

We had been trying hard for Fleur's sake but it was highly evident that Bo and I suffered being put in the same space. We had started taking 'turns' in functions and even though we used real engagements like work and meetings and the clinic and telecommuting, we knew deep down we were just keeping busy to avoid the awkwardness. It was as if somebody had taken Bo and I's ability to confidently speak to one another and once it was close to happening the tides of doubt would creep in and make us pass.

As I drove I realized that I would be in time for an evening with Fleur. Bo was scheduled to record tonight for the sports top 30 countdown or something of the like. I hated that now I looked forward to spending time with Fleur by our lonesome but it was just too much being in Bo's presence sometimes for me. I was still very much in love with the woman and the uncertainty of our relationship drove a big strain on my well-being. Bo wasn't stupid to this fact, staying at work when she knew I'd be home to take care of Fleur and so on. I was still so amazingly proud of her getting to where she was with her career. I could remember her telling me about it when she had to return to work.

 _My eyes snapped open as I realized that there was someone in the bathroom adjacent to the room. I had woken up from the light slumber I got for half an hour or so every two hours. It was the only form of sleep I had been getting lately before waking up from sweat drenched nightmares. I looked at the 'Penguins' alarm clock Bo had in the corner and realized it was well past midnight. It seemed I had managed to spend an hour in bed before waking this time. It was late yet the moon was so bright the whole room was lit up through the balcony giving everything an ethereal glow._

 _I pulled the covers closer to me seeking comfort trying to convince myself that whoever was in that bathroom was part of our family. I tried to breathe in Bo's scent to give me safety the bed and mostly the room still smelled remarkably like Bo even though she hadn't been sleeping here since my stay. I had tried to go back to my house in hopes that I could give Bo her personal space back but in the end I was as terrified of my house as I had been that night. I had loved my house before, it was everything I had aspired to have and now it was a constant reminder of the violence that had happened there._

 _I heard the water shut off and after a few heartbeats I saw the door open softly as Bo came out. Her hair was wet and messy making her look amazingly appealing in the moonlight. I could see the muscles tense under the movements of her hand as she toweled her hair off slightly. My throat ran dry as my eyes came into contact with the exposed skin of her long legs in the short shorts she was wearing. Her tank-top was so worn I could make the outline of her nipples almost by memory and I felt myself redden at the thought. I shouldn't have been thinking about these things but the reality was I thought about the passion between Bo and I every time we were in a room._

 _Her eyes landed on me and as they met mine I felt like a kid caught peeping into the girl's bathroom. Bo gave me an almost boyish smile as she leaned over me looking down with such warmth in her eyes it melted me from the inside. I couldn't help the shy smile that crossed my lips and she shuffled the towel in her hands nervously._

" _Sorry for barging in, the other shower is out of service." Her soft voice reached my ears as I nodded._

" _It's your room Bo." I reminded but she shook her head slightly. "It is late though, are you alright?"_

" _Yeah, I'm just getting home from work. It was my first live recording." Bo confessed with a beautiful smile and I felt the breath catch in my throat._

 _She was recording regularly now but never live yet. It seemed like her report the other night hadn't just been a one-time thing. I was saddened I didn't know much about it. I was scared of asking about that night, downright terrified. Sadly her trip coincided with one of the darkest moments of my life and I couldn't bring myself to talk with her about it._

" _I… saw you on TV." I avoided mentioning it was that night but she probably knew by the way her body was now tense and rigid. "I'm glad you made this happen for yourself Bo. Congratulations."_

" _Thank you. Good night." She huffed hurriedly as she made her escape, my Bo gone from her demeanor as quick as she was here._

 _Torture… it was complete torture the back and forth. Yet after that moment I never missed her on T.V._

When I walked through the threshold I could hear Fleur laughing as Kenzie was telling her an over-exaggerated story about her job. I smiled to myself putting things down slowly. After today's session with Cassie I felt amazingly better and wanted to gather my resolve. Some time with Fleur would give my mind the peace it needed to move forwards.

"Momma!" Fleur celebrated as she ran up to me hugging me tightly. "Kenzie here was being a total bore, I'm so glad you're home."

Her declaration had a playful tone as Kenzie stuck her tongue out to the kid in mock hurt. They laughed making faces at each other as Fleur hung from my waist. I noticed that Kenzie was all dressed up and ready to go.

"So don't wait up, I've got a date and I'm off tomorrow!" the woman winked at us as I laughed.

Suddenly I realized both of them were staring at me. I felt self-conscious for a few seconds and slowly calmed myself as Fleur gave me a wide smile. I shrugged as she shook her head and Kenzie hugged us both goodbye.

Before long Fleur and I were tangled in each other as we watched a documentary in her room. She had convinced Ryan she needed a cable box in there and him being the big softie he was got her that and a laptop to do 'homework' on. She was going to get spoiled rotten if it was up to Ryan but I let her have a bit of happiness in the middle of all this chaos.

We had talked about school and her friends, about Chloe and a play she wanted to go watch since she was slightly getting into theater. All-in-all I could see Fleur's interests shifting from those a child to those of a young adult. I was scared but I was happy to be spending time with my daughter. I had been foolish before to have the moment of weakness that I did, it would've been devastating to not see this face ever again.

It was a couple of hours later because we had gone through a couple of shows and a movie. Fleur was completely passed out on the bed and I stretched my aching muscles telling me I had to stretch out or feel like this for the rest of the evening. My body was now always sore since I didn't get much sleep at night. It was a constant reminder that my mind was not at ease in any form. Carefully I pulled away from Fleur's embrace tucking her in and made my way out of her bedroom.

I sat there in Fleur's bedroom quietly watching the sports channel on mute. I had seen it earlier when it aired but now in the stillness in the house I could appreciate her better. Bo sat behind the desk in a perfectly tailored off copper suit that hugged her every curve to perfection. Unlike most days she had opted not to wear a tie and was sporting a dark blue button down that let me drink in her beautiful busty assets. I missed her presence and her body. Watching her perfect figure every night made me long for her.

Suddenly thirsty I made my way into the kitchen. It was there where I found Bo at the foot of the stairs that led to the attic. It was where she spent most of her time when I was in her room. Suddenly I felt bad, more than bad really, for staying in her spot so long. Truth was I found comfort being around Bo's things but I didn't want to her out of her own home.

The smile Bo gave me reminded me of the ones she'd give me in the arena and I felt my heart soar. I reminded myself that I needed to speak my mind now that she was in front of me. I couldn't lose my resolve now, Cassie had been right in today's session and it was now or never Bo and I needed to talk.

"I thought you'd be in bed by now." Bo mused as she leaned against the wall behind her. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"Not really, I don't sleep much now a days." I confessed as she cringed a bit at my comment.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Bo's voice came out like it always did when she was now trying to make an escape but this time I was resolute.

"Bo, do you have a second?" I asked levelly as I felt my voice hold its tone for once.

Bo nodded and started descending the stairs as I realized we were going to settle in the kitchen for our talk. Ryan was on a business trip so I knew that with Kenzie gone and Fleur asleep we pretty much had the house to ourselves with uninterrupted access to one another. Bo was nervous, that much I could tell from how she was playing with her hands on top of the counter. I sat across from her trying to keep myself from holding her hands lovingly like I had done before so many times.

"Is Fleur alright?" she asked with her jaw tightly set as I nodded and licked my lips looking for the right words to start out with.

"Fleur is fine, we had a marathon with nature tonight so that was fun." I half smiled looking at my hands fiddle with themselves as well. "I just think that we should talk Bo."

"I thought we do talk to each other." The older brunette grumbled as I shook my head slightly.

"We talk but nothing gets said, nothing of substance… I want us to actually talk and get past what happened." I finally blurted out realizing I was more than aggravated by the situation than I previously thought.

"Lauren…" Bo started but I shook my head knowing I needed to say my peace now that I had finally found my voice.

"Bo, please. I just want us to talk about things, there are things left unspoken between us that shouldn't be that way. I've been trying so hard to work on myself, but now I really think that talking about that night would actually help us get back on track." I explained rushed as Bo gaped slightly like a fish out of water.

"Somethings are not something you can get 'back on track' from Lauren. I **can't** talk about that night, no matter how much we both want me to." Her tone held the finality I feared would come with this topic as I saw her close herself from me once again.

"What if speaking about it meant me getting better Bo? I can't go on like this, like you and I never happened. I love you Ysabeau, I don't know how to undo that now that you've turned the cold shoulder on me." I confessed as I heard my voice tremble from the agony in my heart.

Her eyes met mine in fear, I was pushing her, this I knew but I had to. I had to push her for my sake, I deserved to get better and in a way so did she. Her eyes darted all along my face and eyes as they searched for the truth in my words. It was as if the distance between us had made her stupidly forget what my feelings for her were. I finally found my courage and held her hand across from the kitchen island we sat around.

"Please Bo, let me in again, I have gotten the message and I understand things are probably bad and dark… but I still love you after all that's happened between us. I cannot promise to be perfect but I can promise to be more careful Bo." I tried knowing this would probably be the only chance I got.

"You don't understand." Bo shook her head as if she was trying to steel her resolve. "Things are so different now, and sometimes…"

It was like she was opening up yet I saw exactly when her wall came up and shut me out like it now always did. It was frustrating and maddening, yet there it was, as real as the cold hand I now held in mine. I shook my head as I pulled my hand back understanding that whatever obstacle Bo was seeing in her mind or in her heart was way too big for us to figure out. I didn't want to but I found myself speaking the words anyways as I stood up while she held her thousand mile stare out the back door.

"I… I just wanted to try before I made any irrational decisions. Now though, I must let you know I'll be house hunting soon and will be out of your room shortly." I explained as her eyes grew and landed on me in what I could describe as panic.

"Lauren, you can stay as long as-" Bo started but I shook my head.

"I know. I just… I don't feel comfortable here anymore Bo. I don't feel welcome and that makes me sad. Even if you're trying and I'm trying that night is a dark elephant in the room with us every single second we share. I cannot put myself through this indefinitely." I finally admitted as I felt my heart break into a million tiny pieces as I realized the truth in my words.

As we sat there in the silence I remembered the session that led me to prompt this conversation as I saw Bo mull things over in complete shock.

" _How are you sleeping?" I tensed at her question and shook my head as Cassie looked at me from her desk._

" _The nightmares are getting worse which is why I've been avoiding it all together." I grumbled and she frowned._

" _What about the meds?" she pointed at her prescription pad. "I will give you herbals if you want something natural."_

" _I already am self-medicating… it's the only way I get relaxed enough to work." I mumbled feeling embarrassed._

" _You know… you remember when you were telling me recently about how you ended up in my office?" Cassie asked casually and I nodded ashamed. "I thought about that a lot recently, I was kind of upset that you thought Fleur and Bo would be ok by themselves if you were gone… then I realized with a start that you probably don't know any better."_

" _What?" I was confused as to what she meant._

" _Well, recently you were telling me how you had a very uncharacteristic childhood. You formed bonds with the servants, yet it was hard for you to relate to your classmates. Lucius, your guardian… did he ever come around?" Cassie asked curiously and I nodded._

" _He came at least twice a week for half an hour to an hour to visit with me. The servants would dress me properly and get me ready for a fancy dinner. He wouldn't stay long." I admitted as she looked over to me._

" _How come?" Cassie had this great gesture of turning her head when she was curious._

" _Because he had lost a child so he couldn't take being with me for too long." I admitted. "It always made me feel less in a way. Like I wasn't good enough to even live in his house and that's why I studied harder and learnt faster to be better for him. To be someone someday to share a house with."_

 _I wiped my eyes as the tears spilled down my cheeks at the admission. I had never spoken to anyone about my childhood, it was something that I took as it came. I thought I was normal until I was about six, then I realized I wasn't. Nana had insisted in me doing some sport to develop my social skills more and deep down I knew it was why I couldn't get into sports like Fleur and Bo. It simply brought me bad memories of an awkward child not knowing how to speak to other kids without being mocked or bullied._

" _That's why you took in Fleur." Cassie's voice held a statement not a question so I nodded. "You wanted someone to share a house with."_

"… _but I'm not good enough for that yet either…" I lamented "How can I share a house with them with all these lies and sneaking around. With all these doubts… without being good enough."_

" _Oh Lauren!" Cassie chastised "You're a doctor, and a mother. You were a pillar on your girl's recovery from addiction, you are a great member of society and a good friend. You even hang out with that Tams-manian Devil."_

 _I had to laugh at her jab at Tamsin in spite of myself._

" _You are good enough but you're also human and that means making mistakes. Thing is you obviously love Bo because her absence in your life triggered an event so deeply rooted you almost did unthinkable things." She pointed at me still mad at me and I nodded._

" _For the millionth time I am sorry and I will forever promise to contact you if I'm that low." I repeated myself once again._

" _Now, we've been discussing healthy avenues for your de-stressing. It is IMPERATIVE that you DO NOT take the weight of the world solely on your shoulders. Now with things in the lab you have Tamsin. With things at home from what I hear you have a plethora of peeps that want to help you. When it comes right down to it you need to sit down and talk to Bo." Cassie stressed._

" _But…" I tried._

" _No buts, you HAVE TO. The moment you two trust one another with what happened on that night will be the moment you guys start to heal. YOU start building healthy relationships." Cassie gave me a determined look._

" _I think I'm ready…"I nodded_

" _Good, cause I'm tired of your sad fucking face in my office." The brunette laughed making me laugh as well._

It turned out that thinking you're ready and being ready are two very different things. I had stuttered badly to speak to Bo all these things that placated me and when I finally got her attention her phone started ringing. Her eyes fell on the phone on the island between us and I noticed quickly the prefix **'work'** on the caller ID. Defeated once more as I saw her throw me a sorry look as she picked up the work call I gave her a half-hearted smile. I took this as my retreat and headed towards her room possibly for the last time. Truth was I hadn't intended to spur talks of how I wanted but my verbal diarrhea had gotten the best of me. At the very first sign that Bo was going to retreat onto herself I panicked and just blabbed away before any coherence came to my thoughts.

I cursed myself for trying to start the conversation about moving out like this. Thing was, I needed to be more comfortable wherever I was staying. I was constantly feeling like I was walking on eggshells at any given time in the house when Bo was home. It wasn't healthy for either of us to be in each other's space if no dialog or healing was going to happen between us and I knew deep down as much as it pained me, this was the right choice.

After doing my nightly routine I grabbed my files from the small crate I kept by the bed now-a-days. It was the cure's research which I was hoping to crack sooner rather than later. Tamsin had put about 30 more files into the crate before I left the lab tonight so I was confident I was going to get a large amount of work done. I threw the pillows around the bed and laid stomach down trying to concentrate on the papers now that my mind felt oddly at peace with my effort to talk to Bo. I wasn't happy with the outcome but I was happy with the attempt. Silently I pushed Bo off my mind and immersed myself in formulas, numbers and organisms.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

The lab now felt cold and sterile but its bright clean walls just pushed me harder to find the resolution. The stress of it all just pushed me harder and harder to find answers since it was the only thing that kept me going. My lab coat was wrinkled from the knots I had made in it in stress. This research was leading me to nothing and it seemed more and more likely that we had called that monster into our lives for nothing. I felt the headache coming but I tried to will it away.

I adjusted my glasses as I took another look through the microscope. I felt so tired, my body ached so badly but I knew that I had to push through. The hours had been endless lately but I invited the distraction with open arms. I felt uneasy out of nowhere, like there was somebody else with me that wasn't Tamsin. Suddenly I was being pushed on the desk painfully as everything on it crashed down on the floor with a loud sound. I yelled in a panic only to be met with a chuckle and with paralyzing fear I realized I recognized that _scent._ I started crying in terror as every fibre of my being recoiled. I could feel his breath on my neck as his body pressed against mine from behind feeling his hard erection pressed against me.

"You got away once, but not again." His voice sent chills down my spine.

I almost threw up at the sound of his zipper and before long against my struggles my pants had been yanked off. I let out a blood-curling scream knowing what was next.

I felt myself being shaken awake slightly and before I knew it Bo's face was in my line of sight. The look in her eyes, the worry and utter concern I hadn't seen in weeks washed over me and I was confused. I still struggled to push away in the panic and haze of what was happening but with a start I realized that I was indeed in Bo's room and she was gently trying to calm me down. I was drenched in sweat as my eyes wildly danced around expecting him out of whatever corner he had hidden on.

Bo's hand were holding my wrists gently, it seemed for my protection and hers. Once she was sure I was beginning to recognize my surroundings she let me go. I felt my chest heave and my lip tremble as the realness of the nightmare pushed through me. I wasn't even aware I had actually fallen asleep for any amount of time.

She maneuvered herself into bed and with the softness that only she could carry she pulled me into her embrace as I cried. She held me close and tightly shushing me softly with gentle words as her voice trembled slightly. My trembling hands wrapped around her afraid she was a dream like I had dreamt her many nights before. When my hands felt the realness of her skin through her tanktop I let out a shaky breath knowing she was really embracing me and comforting me.

"It's alright Lau, don't think about that." She cooed in my ear and my eyes closed. "It was a dream, it wasn't real."

"But it felt so real." I whispered brokenly almost breathlessly.

"I know…" her arms tightened even more around my frame and I actually felt her lips against my forehead. "I'm sorry Lau, I'm here now. I've got you."

As I felt her hands pull me close drawing the covers around us I was wrapped in a sense of harmony that was hard to describe. Being in Bo's arms even after such a rude awakening was incredibly healing for my heart and soul. The way she held me gingerly as if protecting me from anything and everything was all I needed to feel my mind come to an ease I hadn't experienced for weeks. I was not naïve and I knew that this like many others in these last few days was a fleeting moment which would be gone when the wrong thing would be said. I would deal with the backlash later one last time before I called it quits. For now though, I enjoyed the warmth Bo gave me, I enjoyed the semblance she wore of my girlfriend as she pushed my hair away from my face humming a soft tune. Before I knew it I felt the now unfamiliar wings of Morpheus cradling me to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

**Thanks everyone for being so patient with me these last few updates. I know it's turning into a slighter longer wait than my usual 4 days but with this being the last few chapters I'm having a hard time letting go. Also my new job keeps me quite busy so not much time to perfect my craft. Thanks to everyone who has commented on Twitter, FB or reviewed, it means a lot to know you guys are liking where this is going. Enjoy guys and remember to drop a line or two!**

 **Shout out to all of you beauties who followed me on twitter! Last_Dragomir**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 19:**

I hadn't slept so soundly in so long that even as I woke I thought I was still dreaming. It was perhaps the scent within my nostrils that filled me with Bo's earthy scent more than previous times in her room. It wasn't until I felt myself anchored when I tried to stretch the uncharacteristic sleep off my body that I realized I wasn't alone in the bed. I looked beside me and found myself tangled in Bo's arms. I was so surprised I scurried off her before last night's events flooded through my mind. The talk, the nightmare and then Bo comforting me like she had done that first time she was with me in my house.

With the commotion I fell to the floor and the sound, if not the struggle woke Bo up from her deep slumber. The stunning brunette woke up with a start as she shot up with a mumble and grasped air in her hands looking around confused. I laid against the cold floor as my heart hammered and the heat rushed to my face. I couldn't quite grasp why Bo had stayed with me last night after my nightmare. It had been fairly evident before I had come to bed to study that our conversation was not happening, much less our reconciliation and yet here she was in all her morning absolute glory.

I saw as Bo's muscular arms propped on the bed undoubtedly trying to make sense of the situation. I let out a loud sigh and decided to get up from where I had landed before the morning got even more awkward. As I raised myself from the floor I watched Bo rub her left eye with the back of her hand much like Fleur did in the mornings. The act itself brought warmth to my heart but overall besides the intense burning desire I felt for the older brunette, right now I was beyond frustrated.

"Oh… why are you on the floor?" Bo's remark came a bit muddled from sleep as her eyes followed my form while I got up.

In a second my eyes met hers and I suddenly felt angry. I was angry that even after all this time I wanted her the way that I did. I paced throwing my previously discarded papers in the desk as I fumed slightly not knowing what to do with the new emotions. Bo had me livid for reacting so poorly even after I had come to her for a truce. The audacity of her ending up in the bed curled up to me this morning was why I needed to move away.

"Lau-" Bo tried but I shook my head.

"Don't!" I replied curtly as my eyes connected with hers. "You don't get to come in here and play hero when I had a bad dream after you shut me down Bo Dennis. I'm not a recovering ad-person… but I am human, I can't take this hot and cold shit. I'm done!" I exclaimed with the rage that accompanied my frustration.

"Last night…" Bo started but fell silent.

"Last night I realized I have to do something to make myself snap out of this Bo. I can't keep hurting like this. I hate it, but I still fucking love you and I can't go on like this. I will make arrangements to start looking for new property today, I should be out of your way in two days tops." The anger in my tone was enough to keep the tremble off my voice.

I watched as she threw the covers off herself and swung her legs around as she shook her head in disbelief. I had to stand my ground, I was tired of this and even though Bo had made leaps and bounds last night as she came to assist me in my moment of need it was after she had shut me down. I crossed my arms firmly across my chest and tried not to deviate from her eyes.

"I… Lauren." My name was a whisper on her lips as she walked over to me but I stepped away quickly.

I watched as her brow furrowed and her lip pouted in an angry manner before she crossed her arms mirroring me in her stance. I stayed silent prolonging the tension and ignoring the plea in her voice.

"You can't seriously leave and not let me fight for you!" Bo's demand made me even angrier and my eyes opened wide at the audacity.

"NOT LET YOU!?" It was me who crossed the space between us and stood face to face with the now upset brunette as my heart raced with adrenaline. "I've been trying to get you to fight for us for the last God knows when! Don't you even dare Bo Dennis, you've been a mausoleum!"

Her eyes narrowed as I saw her jaw tense as I felt her chest press against mine in defiance as she stared me down. Her whole body screamed power and intensity yet I could not tear away from her. I didn't want things to get physical, I loved Bo far too much for that, but I was ever ready to defend myself if I had to. I didn't believe Bo would ever hurt me but with all the tension in the room all I could think was fight or flight and damn it I wasn't flying today.

"Don't you think I've been trying too? It hasn't been rainbows and unicorns for me either Doctor." The way her lips enunciated the word made my breath hitch in spite of my anger. "I see you Lauren, I see you trying to fix me; fix us. Things were not fucking lost in me, I needed some time."

As challenging as her voice was I was appreciative of her opening up to me. Yet I was so pent up that I couldn't let go of this fire and fury I now felt. I wanted Bo to realize and see that things had been shitty, that she had been shitty and that I wasn't sure if I was ready to put things behind us just because she suddenly felt like playing hero last night.

"Why the fuck didn't you say something Ysabeau? I'm not a goddamn mind reader." I fumed in anger with a crisp tone to my voice and a slight loudness even though we were so close I could feel her breath mix with mine.

"I don't fucking know Lauren… I'm an idiot alright? Is that what you need to hear?" Bo hissed as her eyes met mine searching what I wanted to end this conflict but I wasn't even sure myself.

Bo was always irresistible in the mornings and today was no exception even in her angry state. I felt my pulse quicken by more than just the tone of the argument and suddenly the closeness between us felt dangerous to my resolve. She was wearing those extremely short shorts she wore to bed along with the smallest tank-top of life leaving her breasts partially in the open for me to drink. I found it suddenly stiflingly hot in here and I had difficulty swallowing at the sight of Bo so close to me. I had made up my mind to step away when Bo made her move.

Bo's hand moved quickly and assertively yet gentle enough that I knew it was her in this moment. It was as if time ran parallel with stillness and the whole world had frozen around this moment between her and I. The room was full of anger and tension, but as her fingers curled along my hair by the nape of my neck and she pressed her lips to mine in a bruising yet searing kiss it filled with passion and intensity that was unmeasurable.

As soon as I felt her lips pressing firmly against mine moving in a soft rhythm while her free hand pulled me closer by the hips I knew my resolve had vanished for now. My lips moved involuntarily as they began that familiar dance with Bo's familiar silky lips. It was like I had been deprived of oxygen for so long and now I was getting it in the form of Bo's lips. In seconds my hands tugged at her pulling her closer desperately while she intensified the kiss entering my mouth with her tongue making me weak in the knees. I moaned against her and the sound snapped me out of it slightly as I pulled my head back trying to regain my thoughts, trying to regain my resolve. Bo's lips attached themselves along my jaw softly and gently as my breathing picked up significantly.

"You…" I breathed angrily before a soft moan escaped my lips when Bo found her favourite spot below my ear. "You're incorrigible. I'm angry at you."

"I know… you're absolutely amazing when you're angry Lauren." Bo breathed before her lips traveled down my collarbone and onto my chest.

"I… fuck!" I groaned pulling her closer contradicting my words as her hand traveled from my waist to my breast and squeezed through the fabric.

"You're even sexier when you curse Doctor." Her voice dropped a few octaves like it usually did dripping with arousal and the mere sound made my hands grip her back and pull her into me needing more of her desperately.

"I'm still angry." I gasped as she pushed me against the pillar of her bed and pinned me in place with her toned and muscled body.

"Lauren please" Bo's voice begged "I **need** you in my life." With those few words my lips found hers as my hands moved down her back and grabbed her ass firmly knowing I needed her as well.

The moan that rewarded my action was amazing and I just wanted to do it over and over again. My hands hooked under her tank-top as I threw it off her while she did the same to my shirt. Within seconds and without hesitation pants followed and we drank each other remembering every inch of exposed skin, greeting it like a loved old friend. Hands roamed our naked bodies as sighs and heavy breaths left us. I desperately held on to that angry fire but Bo's expert lips just tortured me slowly in the glorious intricacy of her kisses. The more of her I got the more I needed and wanted. It was as if after the depravation from the woman my body craved for her in such a relentless way it was breathtaking.

Her lips traveled down my jaw as her hands found my breast once more pinning me to the bed pillar harder this time making a moan escape me. My hands wrapped around the wooden beam for support as I felt my entire body tremble with instant anticipation as her kisses traveled to my neck sucking on the delicate skin. Between her lips and her hands I was absolutely dripping with liquid heat pooled between my thighs. Bo had such a way to awaken my desires that it was impossible for me to resist any and all advances from the sexy brunette. Even when I was this angry my body wanted her with such a force that shook my very being. My thoughts were cut short from the angry spiral they were taking again when her wet tongue found my exposed nipple and she suckled it.

"Oh fuck Bo." I mumbled as she sighed deeply and feathered her touch gently down my stomach.

Her tantalizing digits continued their slow and torturous descent and I wondered if the anticipation would make me come undone right then and there. Her lips and tongue had moved to my other breast as her fingers teased my already soaked inner thigh. The only sounds in the room where Bo's sighs and the soft hums and moans leaving my lips at every caress and touch the brunette administered. She was gentle yet demanding, attentive yet passionate and I could tell with each passing second that I craved Bo in such a way that surprised even myself.

Bo's lips wrapped my own before her index found my folds and parted them expertly. I felt my knees buckle but her frame held my own pinned one and I leaned my head back onto the wooden frame drunk with lust and need. Bo's body pressed deliciously against mine in all its naked glory was making me lose my mind. Every well-defined and strong muscle purposely working to send me to the throes of oblivion as her copious breasts pressed against mine. While her hand disappeared into the apex of my pelvis I released a shaky moan into her neck needing her more than ever before. Her index swirled around my swollen nub as the cry that left my lips was silenced by her mouth as it grew louder once her digit entered my heat.

I heard Bo growl softly as we pulled away giving me a smile as she licked her lips our eyes now meeting the others while my breathing spiked with each soft movement. Bo was torturously slowly moving in and out of me making my eyes heavy with lust and pleasure. I pulled Bo as close as we were going to get trying to somehow mold our bodies together into one. Her lips found my own as we melted into one another with battling lips and tongues while her rhythm picked up slightly. My head rolled back once more as she pressed another digit into me making me feel full and satisfied elevating the intensity of the moment. I heard her grunt something about how wet I was and I wanted to reply with a smartass comment but her fingertips jammed upwards and touched me in the deepest of places making my knees buckle.

Bo's strong arms held me in place as she pressed me against the beam with her whole body now. Chest to chest, hips to bucking hips as her hand disappeared into my pelvis while her hot breath and small grunts caressed my ear. She repeated the deep thrust again and again until I was all but screaming but not for lack of pleasure. I had securely bit down on Bo's shoulder to prevent me crying out as I felt the warm heat of the orgasm building deep inside me with each thrust. I gripped to her back for dear life undoubtedly marking her as I panted with each stroke and thrust when I felt her soft lips moving against my ear.

"I missed you so much. I could never lose you Lauren, I need you… I love you." It was whispered like a mantra that Bo swore by and as her voice danced in my ears I felt myself let go as the force of my orgasm shook my very being harder than ever before.

The words replayed in my ear over and over again as I calmed down from the intensity of the moment. Bo slowly pulled out of me and held me in her arms as she kissed my face gently. I could feel her racing heart against mine and I understood this had been as emotional for her as it had for me. The care and love in Bo's movements was simply heart-warming as she worshipped my body long after the tremors of pleasure had subsided. Her fingers ghosted by long gone bruises and marks which she seemed to know with intricate accuracy as a silent apology for her absence. I didn't want to be one of those girlfriends who let anything by with sex, we still had a lot to talk about and even much more to work through but this was definitely a very promising start.

Our eyes met as she pulled back and helped me to the bed where she laid beside me and caressed my shoulder slowly as her eyes focused solely on me. There was a small smile on her lips and a look that could only be described as peace crossing her features. I let myself get lost in her brown orbs as she traced my bottom lip with her finger softly.

"You are hands down the sexiest being on this planet Doctor." I blushed at her compliment and was getting ready to retort when we heard the doorknob jiggle.

With a panicked look and quick thinking Bo pulled the covers over us covering everything but our faces. We closed our eyes and pretended to sleep hoping whoever it was wouldn't pull the covers back. I heard the soft shuffling of feet and a small squeal giving me an idea of who it was. With horror I realized Fleur had shaken Bo slightly and was trying to get a conversation going without waking me up.

"Mom! What are you doing here?" Fleur hushed and I big my lips not to giggle.

"I'm sleeping Flower, go to bed please." Bo begged in a mock sleep tone as she turned sideways curling up to me.

"Ugh, you're so boring sometimes!" Fleur all but whined. "And it's not sleeping time anymore so come get me when you're up. WE need to train whether you're making up with Momma or not."

With that and a slight shuffle of feet we breathed easier when Fleur left the room. I felt Bo shake next to me after a few seconds and when I turned towards her I could see her eyes were full of unshed tears as her smile adorned her face while holding back laughter. The sight conflicted my heart as I turned on my side and caressed her cheek gently.

"Are you alright?" I asked full of concern, the anger in me long gone.

"I am now." Bo breathed with a small smile as her hand found the small of my back pulling me closer to her warm body while she closed her eyes. "I've been so fucking stupid and worse of all unfair to you."

"Stubborn Bo, the word you're looking for is stubborn." I offered in a quiet gentle voice as I traced her cheek leaning my forehead against hers.

"I know… I just…" a long frustrated sigh escaped her as her grip tightened on me "…I'm not stupid, I know we need to talk but right now I'm so happy that I have you in my arms that it's just something I wanna relish."

"If you're serious about this talk why don't we sit down tonight? Do you have to record?" I asked as she nuzzled her nose on my cheek.

"I don't, I only have to go do two playoff spots today and then I'm all yours." Her smile was big and vibrant and I melted at the sight of it once more.

Being here in this moment with Bo was absolutely 100% what the Doctor ordered. It was almost as if I could feel my heart and my mind start to heal as Bo's hands traced circles on my naked back. The heat of her skin against mine felt delicious and I felt the need to feel her every curve and every inch of her skin beneath my digits as well. My lips met hers with a new hunger as the peace in my heart from our simple arrangement took care of my inhibitions. My tongue battled hers with a fervor she matched while her chest rose with uneven breaths. My hand traveled up from her knee to her thigh as her breath caught in her throat beautifully while looking into my eyes with her lust filled ones.

"I've missed you, you know?" I husked at her provocatively as my fingers rounded her hip and down her pelvis feeling the soft short curls.

"Oh…" Bo whimpered as her fingers dug into my back gripping tightly.

The way her breath hitched, the way her neck smelled, the way her soft skin felt against my hand was all washing over me in a whole new way. It was familiar yet it was new, it was comforting yet exhilarating. I couldn't get enough of her as I toyed with her lowest lips feeling the dampness in her centre as she whimpered my name in my ear. I felt so strongly for this woman that I admonished myself time and time again for even thinking of leaving her and Fleur.

"I missed everything about you Ysabeau." I whispered in her ear as I entered her while moaning at the moisture.

Before we could continue with the steamy make-up sex Fleur's voice broke the plane of silence in the room making both of us still our movements quickly. Thankfully the young tween was on the other side of the door.

"WHAT ARE YOU A FLYER'S FAN!?" My eyes widened as I recognized what Bo would consider an insult and her own eyes widened in disbelief and anger.

"I'm going to kill this little shit" Bo mumbled frozen in place before belting out as I giggled "WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU LITTLE GOON?!"

"YOU HEARD ME, IF YOU TAKE MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES IN THAT ROOM I'M COMING TO GET YOU!" Fleur threatened and I made a face as Bo paled.

"She's fucking serious Lau… I can't… I" she let out a frustrated sigh as I retreated my hand from its favourite spot.

"Your loss" I whispered before sucking on my soaked fingers as her jaw dropped to the floor.

"Fuck Lauren…" Bo mumbled with desire as I smiled and pushed away from her knowing Fleur was serious with her threats.

"What's she so worked about?" I pondered as I threw on my bathrobe securing it.

"I start the season with Downtown next week so she wants to shape my ass into ice form." Bo groaned as she longingly looked at my now covered body before swinging her legs around the bed and getting up.

The brunette was still in all her naked glory and I could see every well-defined and toned muscle to perfection making me want to take her into my arms after locking the door. She shook her head with a small smile and threw on a sports bra and looked around for her shorts and underwear. I admired the curve of her ass as she bent down, her hair cascading to the side as she stepped into her garments.

"If you keep looking at me like that Doctor Lewis I'll never train." Bo teased and I smiled caught in the staring.

"Did you know that Men burn 100 calories in the average sheets session, while women expend 69. The typical romp lasts 25 minutes from the start of foreplay to the end of the deed, but that's just an average—the times varied widely but given that a good session of ours can last an average of 57 minutes. The longer the session, the more calories burned… TECHNICALLY I am your training Bo." I teased as she laughed looking at me lustfully.

"I love when you use the geek speak Doctor." Her voice dropped an octave and I almost couldn't handle it.

Suddenly the door swung open and lo and behold Fleur was standing in the doorway with her hair in a bun, an athletic band in her hair and her sports apparel. She gave us a disapproving look as Bo raised her arms in the air with a huff.

"That wasn't even four minutes!" Bo complained "I could've been naked!"

"Ewwww Mom!" Fleur complained and I just laughed at the pair.

"It was a hypothetical scenario squirt, chill out!" Bo joked as she walked up to me. "So… that talk later tonight? After I come home from the gym?"

Her voice was not presumptuous but hopeful as I nodded looking into her eyes. We were so close I reached for her caressing her cheek. The smile that crossed her lips was amazing and I just couldn't quite contain myself. I pulled her over to me and kissed her lips softly as I heard Bo let out a dreamy sigh and Fleur let out a soft squeal.

"You can count on it." I whispered as we pulled back from one another.

"Oh my God can you go any slower?" Fleur teased even though she had a huge smile on her face.

"As you can see I have to go, our daughter is quite impatient." Bo smiled and with that she turned around and left the room with Fleur.

I felt like I was on cloud nine as the lingering buzz of Bo's lips remained on my own. The morning was much brighter today and I couldn't decipher if it was the sleep, the sex or simply Bo's words. It could've even been a combination of it all, yet I wasn't going to fight it or overanalyze it. Some small part of me feared Bo was doing this just because of the moving talk, but the moments we had just shared proved otherwise. With a move towards the bathroom I was ready to start my day.

The warm water soothed my tired muscles as I smiled letting it wash over me. Bo had a way of making my body wind-up tight before relaxing it endlessly. This morning had been a moment full of passion and raw desire but also of need and comfort. Our intimacy had been full of silent apologies and lingering looks that touched each other's wounded heart. I felt full at the encounter, as stupidly as it sounds, it was like Bo completed me again making my mind peaceful and whole. It was in a way much like clarity and without the uncertainty on what ground Bo and I stood, I was now free to dedicate my whole focus into Fleur's cure.

After putting on my contacts, straightening my hair and even indulging in light makeup I threw an actual decent outfit together and strolled out of the bathroom humming. I took a glance at the messy bedsheets as a mischievous smile crossed my face. Never did I think when I opened my eyes this morning that I would've ended up pinned against Bo's body shivering in pleasure and gasping her name over and over. I was angry, beyond livid and yet when Bo's lips touched mine my mind went blank and my heart raced at the contact. As the moment escalated I knew there was no way my body couldn't react to Bo's advances.

I moved to Bo's desk picking up the papers I had thrown there in my anger this morning. I decided to give them one last revision before starting out my day. After several minutes of reading my brow furrowed in frustration. I was revising some findings Dr. Reid had on the test results we had sent him, everything seemed inconclusive up until this moment. It was as if a lightbulb went off in my head as I re-read the paragraph a couple of times excited that there was something new I was discovering. I couldn't call the finding progress but a trip to the lab and Tamsin's help would determine if that was indeed true. With a satisfied smile and a mental high five I set out in search of breakfast before the lab.

In the end I was so happy I ended up making us all breakfast. Kenzie woke up from a dead sleep at the smell of bacon and Ryan mumbled into the kitchen over the smell of coffee. I smiled as they came into the room suddenly surprised at my great spirits and sudden want to feed them. All-in-all I couldn't blame them, reality was I knew I had been a mess the past weeks and now it was as if everything was starting to piece back together like before yet stronger. I felt like a new dawn because now Bo wasn't the only one getting her mental health in check and that in itself was a big step forward for me. I had been too 'swamped' before with work, with Fleur, with Bo and life itself to make sure I was taken care of and now that I had made time for myself I felt so much better. It was premature, especially since we hadn't had our talk but everything felt like it was falling into place.

"Holly shit doc! Chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, toast, bacon AND homefries! I must've hit the lottery! Look at all this damn food Ry-Ry!" Kenzie yelped excitedly.

"Hmmph…" Ryan responded with a grunt before taking a sip of his coffee and a wide smile spread across his lips as he enjoyed the hot mixture.

"I'm glad you're enjoying it Kenzie." I admitted as I smiled and sipped on my coffee munching on toast.

"I'm just glad you got some sleep Doc! You needed it and I'm not saying that as an insult!" Ryan admitted and I blushed.

"I know… I know I was a bit worse for wear for a little while there but with the help of you guys, my therapist… among other things I'm feeling much like myself or better." I admitted as Ryan and Kenzie gave me wide smiles.

"Well, if it includes pancakes and breakfast then I'm all in for this new and better self doc!" Kenzie appreciated between mouthfuls as Ryan and I laughed.

Before another word was said the front door opened and closed and I saw Ryan and Kenzie throw weary glances in its direction. I could practically hear their worried thoughts over my mental health as Bo's voice broke through the hallway along with Fleur's laughter.

"Mom! Oh my God! I can't believe you said those things to Mrs. Bouchard!" Fleur raved as Bo laughed.

"Well she should mind her own business." Bo added chuckling as the came into the kitchen and into view.

The girls smiled as they looked around the kitchen and saw the amount of food. Bo's eyes met mine and the smile that came forth was almost involuntary. She crossed the small distance between us as if nobody else existed in the room. I could hear Fleur rummaging the plates and utensils and I wanted to advice against too much bacon but I was glued to her mother. Bo's hands cradled my face softly when she got to me and I held my breath as did the rest of the room before our lips connected and I let out a content sigh feeling home between her kisses. The kiss was soft and fast, not a peck but not a full-blown kiss yet her gentleness blew me away. We pulled out with smiles as her bashful eyes found mine and she spoke quietly.

"Thought you'd be at the lab by now, I'm glad I was wrong." Bo whispered as I smiled before kissing her nose quickly.

"I wanted breakfast and figured all of you would too." I whispered and Bo nodded.

"Thanks for breakfast Lau." Bo added even though she hadn't had a bite.

"I see what's going on! No wonder you're all much chirper in this house… about damn time you idiots!" Kenzie almost burst in her verbal tirade. "I was about to stage an intervention!"

"Calm down there Dr. Phil, we've got this." Bo rolled her eyes at Kenzie.

"More like Jerry Springer" Ryan mumbled as we all laughed.

"Who's Jerry Springer?" Fleur asked as we laughed even harder.

With one last glance at the clock I knew I should get going if I wanted to make it to the lab and get work done before tonight's talk. With one last lingering kiss of Bo's lips and a ruffle of Fleur's hair I set out into the world with renewed happiness in my heart. The change in me must've been automatic because when I got to the lab Tamsin couldn't hide her surprise.

"Holly shit Doc, you actually look decent today!" Tamsin jabbed from her microscope as I walked into the lab.

"Gee thanks Tams." I replied dryly as I took my sunglasses off.

"Damn make-up even! You go laid!" Tamsin's smile was wide and crude as I groaned and shook my head trying to hide my accusing smile.

"Tam…" I warned but I could feel the heat in my face and the smile splitting my lips.

Just thinking about Bo made my heart swell and my centre ache. This woman was going to be the undoing of me. Tamsin shook her head with a huge smile holding her arms up in truce as I chuckled and set myself up in the desk beside her. I was anxious to run the tests needed to verify my initial suspicions. I wanted to busy myself so that the day would go faster and I could finally sit down and talk to Bo about hopefully everything.

"I'm just gonna say, I'm happy you and Bo made up." Tamsin mentioned casually from my right.

"Who said I had made up with Bo?" I asked teasingly as the blonde smiled at me.

"This look and radiance you get from nobody but the Mother of your child Lauren. I'm not entirely sure if made up is the word but you've been freshly fucked by the woman, I know that!" Tamsin laughed and I swatted her arm playfully as I gave her a look.

"You are so rude, Cassie is right, I don't know how we're still friends." I laughed as she waved me off.

"Puh-lease… I raised half of the midget you call daughter, you're never getting rid of me!" Tamsin declared as we laughed and the lab's mood instantly got brighter.

The lab work today was engaging to say the least. I had spoken to Tamsin about my findings in the material Dr. Reid had given me. She felt embarrassed because she had revised these papers before I got them but I assured her we had all been under amazing stress lately. After revisiting a few formulas and restructuring a few chemical compounds we felt ready to mix up a new serum. Tamsin and I danced around each other in a ballet of diligence as we got to work on the practical aspect of things. I was excited to see if the theoretical part of things matched up so this was very intriguing.

It was probably hours after when I walked to my desk removing my heavy rubber gloves and the plastic eye protection I was wearing. I saw my phone blinking in the corner and gave out a loud sigh before taking off the lab coat I was wearing and plopping down to my chair with force. I was tired but in a few short hours I might be ecstatic so I'd have to wait and see. I picked up my phone and flipped the lock screen to find a miss call and 2 missed messages. With a quick flick of my thumb I went directly to the messages both being from Bo.

 _ **Hey gorgeous, I still REALLY want to have that talk with you. Do you want to stay in or go out? I wouldn't mind neither. Fleur has a school thing until 9:00p so we have that time alone. Let me know.**_

 _ **Miss you,**_

 _ **-Bo**_

I smiled like a teenager at the message knowing Bo was serious about us working things out. It hadn't been a sexy fluke or something to get me to stay. I closed my eyes with a sigh ready to answer but decided to read the next message instead.

 _ **P.S.**_

 _ **I hope your morning was as good as mine. Even though we left unfinished business I look forward to finishing what we started. ;) You drive me crazy beautiful. Especially those fingers and this morning! AKSJ{ EOLWFK:!**_

 _ **-Bo**_

I chuckled imagining her last little freak out before my finger moved quickly feeling my centre throbbing with longing for her. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about this morning and how I wanted to get back to the house and finish what I had started with the brunette. Yes we needed to talk, but I also needed her; period. Bo made my body ache with want at the mere thought of her and now that I had been deprived of her for so long I was ready to make-up the lost time.

 _ **Hey,**_

 _ **Been thinking about you and this morning too *sigh*. I think I can be wrapped up here around 5:00pm and be at the house at 6:00p depending on traffic. I was thinking we could stay in if we're going to be alone, there's many things that are private. Including finishing what we started. ;)**_

 _ **3 you**_

 _ **Lau**_

With that I returned to Tamsin's never-ending teasing and got to work once more getting lost in the discoveries I had yet to make.

I grabbed the last petri dish on the stage and looked through the lens of the microscope to make sure I had selected the right one. I made an annotation of the sample number I was using before continuing and carefully but also methodically I grabbed a vial with the newest serum we had developed today. It was a small amount and further testing would be needed even if this worked but I was hopeful we had found what we were looking for. I observed as I applied the serum almost holding my breath, I was ready for this ordeal to be over and the way that Fleur's cells reacted to this serum was going to be key in how we would proceed. I could hear my heart in my ears as I waited anxiously.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

My hands shook as I reached for the doorknob noticing that Ryan and Kenzie's cars were gone so we were utterly alone. It felt like coming home, even though it hadn't felt this way in a long time. It was like my heart knew the peace it was about to get after this morning's preview. My mind keep second guessing this the whole drive home. It was so maddening I had to call Cassie and talk to her for a few minutes. Like Tamsin she was happy that progress had been made. She reminded me that I needed to come see her tomorrow for a proper session but overall Cassie was reassuring me that these were good steps and that I needed to see where this talk led.

When I came in through the door I could see all the lights were off, there were a few dimmed here and there strategically but most of the lighting came from the candles all around. I knew I was earlier than I had told Bo, I could hear the shower running and smiled knowing she had just come from the gym. I looked around and saw that there was a small mess on the table of expensive looking pens and paper. I traced the texture of one of the sheets as I wondered what they were. I didn't want to overstep and pry my eyes for information on the papers when I knew they were Bo's but the curiosity of what she was working on made me want to flick the papers. I didn't dare to read the private papers, I was just amazed by the penmanship. The ink lines in the paper were so crisp, sharp and elegant I was almost mesmerized by it. I jumped slightly as I felt hands wrap around my waist, I tried to calm my racing heart from the startle as I recognized Bo's scent enveloping me.

"I'm so sorry I should've made a sound." Bo's voice caressed my ears before nuzzling my neck from behind. "I just saw you and got excited that you were early."

"It's alright…" I whispered as I leaned back into her embrace truly feeling like I was finally home. "Ryan and Kenzie's cars are not here."

"They went out with Hale to this concert or something… I'm not quite sure when they're coming back but probably after Fleur does." Bo mumbled kissing my neck as I let out a content sigh. "I made us some dinner so sit down and let me pamper you."

It was then when I realized the table was set for two and there were candles on it as well. Bo walked me to the table and ever the lady she pulled the chair back for me and helped me sit before kissing my cheek. It was when she opened the oven that I smelled the deliciousness that was waiting inside. Bo came around and I was surprised and even more taken aback when she walked around with a bottle that looked like wine. She poured me a glass pouring a second one and placing it on her setting with a smile.

"Bo…" my tone was weary even though I didn't want it to be.

"It's non-alcoholic wine don't worry." She gave me a breathtaking smile before biting her lip and turning to the stove once more. "I just, I wanted this to be nice, I know we're not going to talk about easy stuff so I wanted us to have a good atmosphere."

"I understand, thank you Bo this is all beautiful." I admitted as I smelled the fresh flowers on top of the table and took a sip of my wine. It was surprisingly good.

"It's nothing, really… just some good food, not-so-good wine and the most beautiful company I can handle." Bo mentioned undoubtedly with a smile.

"Are you trying to charm me?" I asked in a flirtatious tone as Bo threw her head back from her task with laughter.

"Maybe Doctor, is it working?" Bo threw me a rueful smile as she approached the table and set a gorgeous restaurant quality looking plate in front of me.

The plate was white but in the very centre was an intricate tower of a colorful vegetable pure. It was topped with a beautiful cabbage salad while a duck leg sat atop. The whole thing was rimmed by a delicately placed brown sauce and some beautiful edible flowers. Bo had cooked for me and had gone the whole nine yards. I was utterly impressed by her efforts and a bashful smile crossed my lips as I looked up at her. Bo's eyes were trained on me as she bit her bottom lip in anticipation.

"Wow this looks amazing!" I breathed meaning it. "I bet you tapped into those restaurant chops of yours."

The smile that broke through her face from the compliment lit even her eyes. She reached for my hand licking her lips and twisting her head in the cutest way as her eyes shone while she met my own. I could feel the flutter of butterflies in my stomach as she squeezed my hand encouragingly.

"I hope you like French. I was going to go with Foi Gras just 'cause I've been craving it lately but these duck legs looked perfect for confit so I couldn't pass them up." Bo mentioned as she took a sip of her wine making the most adorable face scrunched up and all.

"I love French almost just as much as I love Ramen." I admitted as I squeezed her hand "Really Bo thank you, you didn't have to but it all looks wonderful and beautiful in here."

"Thank you Lau but it was nothing really. Now, let's enjoy our meal, our shitty wine and then we'll take it from there." Bo smiled as it soothed the nervousness of the talk I knew we would be having.

Bo raised her glass after letting my hand go and after a silent 'toast' she signaled to our plates urging me to eat. The food was as heavenly as it looked and every bite was an experience of its own. Bo didn't seize to amaze me, not even after all the pain and all the sleepless nights. When it was all said and done, this was the beautiful, kind-hearted woman I had fallen in love with. After dinner I convinced Bo to let me pick up the table and she protested but in the end agreed. I had turned down dessert as I felt more and more nervous with each passing second.

After I was done I found Bo had turned off all the candles around the kitchen and I followed the light into the living room. I found Bo sitting on the couch while her wine had been exchanged for a joint. Slightly relieved I walked up to her and took it from her lips while I inhaled and took a seat beside her, our knees touching. Bo gave me a playful smile shaking her head gently as her warm hand found my free one while she scooted closer.

"You look so badass right now." She smiled and I chuckled passing it as we started a rotation.

"I like this better than the wine." I smiled blowing out smoke and she chuckled.

After a few moments of giggles and a few small jokes silence fell between us it was as if the heaviness of the moment suddenly dawned on us. As we finished smoking she shook her head with a lazy smile. It seemed she had an epiphany and I was intrigued as to what it was.

"You know, I've been a pretty big asshole to you and the thing is, I didn't even want to be." Bo confessed, yet the tone she used was so light and casual that it completely set me at ease.

"Well, to be honest, I also had some stuff to work out on my own. I know I looked like utter shit for a moment there, but I needed the time off as well." I finally admitted to her and myself using the same light comic tone Bo did.

"I was kinda having a complete nervous breakdown at the sight of you, every single time and it was hard to even talk to you at times." The confession was so raw and sincere I turned to look at her meeting her eyes.

" _ **I was**_ causing that to happen to you?" I asked suddenly scared she'd say yes. I never ever would've wanted such a thing for Bo.

"Not really you babe." Bo shook her head and grabbed me by the shoulders pulling me into her embrace as I repositioned myself to sit between her legs as she leaned back into the couch. "I guess I didn't realize it then but I was reacting to the prospect of losing you. It angered me to a point that I was not processing anything else."

I leaned back into her as her arms had wrapped securely around my waist pulling me closer. I leaned my head against her regal collar bone letting her warmth envelop me. I processed carefully what she was saying, the doctor in me recognized everything to be consistent with logic. I wasn't proud of what came of it but the fact that she loved me in such a way was breathtaking.

"Is that why you'd run away?" I asked as I felt her nodding.

"I went to work the anger away. I'd go to the gym or practice some Muai Tai with Tamsin or we'd hit the shooting range. It's partially what led me to join the downtown team this season." She explained casually and I shifted looking up at her.

"Do you feel like that anymore?" I asked now self-conscious of my pushing and my reactions to her actions.

"What was that word you used this morning?" she asked jovially "ah yes, stubborn, I AM very stubborn so it took me a while to realize that all I needed to calm my heart is in my arms right now."

She shifted her head slightly and kissed my forehead before nuzzling into my hair.

"Feeling you close, alive and breathing, safe in my arms calms my heart Lau. It's actual physical proof that I'm not going to lose you." She continued after a beat.

"I know what you mean Bo… after you came home that night the fear of losing you permanently drove me insane. I know it sounds psycho but…" I chuckled and shook my head "Thing is even though certain things happened that night that were ugly, it made me see that I wasn't well with my own mental health. I had some stuff from my childhood unresolved, that and our situation overall made me go to places I never thought I'd go. It made for a very volatile feeling."

"How… how do you feel now?" Bo's voice was barely a whisper as I kissed her neck lightly.

"I feel safe, loved, happy… I feel hopeful." I admitted.

"I'm glad, I wouldn't want anything else." Bo's smile could be heard in her tone before I felt her tense a bit. "Do… do you want to talk about that night?"

The question was almost a whimper and my heart ached at her vulnerable tone. I knew she was trying hard and I didn't want to push her much either. My heart battled with my mind to decide if I wanted to bring this up right here and now or push it back to another time. Did I want to talk about it at all? Did I really need to know? Did I really have to tell her something that would undoubtedly hurt her?

"Do you?" I asked with a slight tremble in my voice as a moment passed before she spoke.

"I want to do what's best for us, whatever it is that makes us stay together, that's what I want." There was so much honesty in her voice.

Right then and there I realized that we had to tell each other the truth at some point, but it didn't have to be now. We had made progress tonight and that for me was enough. To hear her speak the words to confirm she was willing to do anything to fix us was enough. I believed her with more certainty than ever because I could hear her bearing her soul to me as purely as I did to her. I twisted around in her arms and faced her as her soft brown eyes met my own. With one final push my lips gently met hers and as we melted into each other and a sigh fell from the beautiful brunette I silenced the gloom talk until further notice. For now all I wanted needed was Bo.


	20. Chapter 20

**Remember to follow me on the twitter last_dragomir**

 **PLEASE: Remember this is a parallel story with 'Heavy In Your Arms' which is from Bo's POV. Make sure you check that one out too.**

 **Cheers eh!**

 **Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are. Every other intellectual property belongs to the owners.**

 **Cosmic Love**

 **Chapter 20**

I pushed away the tears from my face as I tried desperately to not let them roll off my face and sink into the paper. I couldn't ruin the perfect testament these words were to Bo's amazing character. I took a deep sigh trying to calm my racing heart as I looked above the balcony to the previous house I owned. I could see the real estate agent showing the happy couple around as they looked at everything with delight. It was a nice house and overall Fleur and I had been happy there, even Bo, but truth was it was tainted now by memories I didn't want to even mention.

Bo and I had been making good progress since we opened up to one another and I was hopeful to where it would lead. Falling back into her arms had been easy for me, she was always the charmer, yet the communication between us got even deeper as we leaned into one another for strength. We avoided the big elephant in the room that was _**that**_ night. We both knew we had to speak about things but as time drew on life settled in and we got busy. Between her hockey games with downtown and Bo's new young career we had very busy schedules that didn't permit us much time with one another. My research had been time consuming not to mention the therapy we both still received so it wasn't entirely Bo's fault either. We were both mothers as well, so we were on our toes with Fleur's hockey season, which had just started. Also with her birthday coming up there was much to be done. The quiet nights and early mornings that were left for Bo and I were spent with care and love instead of gloom.

At work things were stressful and Bo had been a champion of giving me support. I had been trying to get over a particular rough patch of luck with the serum we had formulated lately. It turned out the last effort had not been in vain at all, the cells provided us answers, just not the ones I wanted. We had found a way to stop the regeneration of the mutation that Fleur had, it would prevent any further damage but the damage there couldn't be reversed. She'd have to take her cannabis oil to prevent the seizures probably the rest of her life. It wasn't the miracle cure I had expected, but we were getting a solution to the possible damage she could suffer in the long run. We were extremely lucky she had found herself under the care of two doctors and even more so that we had acted so quickly.

We were at a stage that time was not lost on us, Fleur was on the mend without this serum. By law we needed approval of the drug to administer even with the consent of her legal guardian. Animal trials were underway and I felt like 'the man' was just not going fast enough. We were on the cusp of human trials where Fleur would be a subject as well but time was almost at a standstill for me. So close, yet so far.

Bo had been a godsend through it all. She was my rock and pillar through the legalities of it all which frustrated me to no end. The brunette was adamant in the hiring of a lawyer and in the end got Evony's recommendation of a good one who was speeding the process of it all. This does not mean life was on an easy stroll from the moment Bo and I got back together. Bo was still, like she had warned, very new to the relationship aspect of things. She made mistakes like I did and we would argue here and there but in the end it would be something to strengthen us. It was a small argument like this that clued me in of impending danger.

Christmas had been magical this year around, even if it didn't start out that way. Bo was adamant that she was not going to enjoy Christmas, but in the end she did. I touched my Double Helix pendant remembering when she gifted it to me. It meant so much to me.

 _I had retreated to the room ready for a break on the celebrations. The festivities had exhausted me and I needed the fresh air. I was nervous about giving Bo her present, I was downright terrified. It wasn't something light and with a price tag that could be returned. I was very aware she could be thrown off by something she wasn't ready for but in my heart I knew deep down this was what Bo wanted the minute she had Fleur. A knock on the door drew me out of my thoughts and I looked over to see the woman plaguing my heart and thoughts making her breath-taking entrance. My God she was beautiful in every way. Even in her pajama bottoms and a black tanktop I could feel my heart stuttering with pride. The way her hair cascaded around her face and her half-lidded eyes looked at me was enough to set me ablaze._

" _How's your Christmas going?" I whispered reveling on the way her skin felt against mine as I pulled her into my embrace._

" _I actually like it very much." Bo shyly admitted and I just about melted at her bashful reaction._

" _I have something for you." I whispered as my heart hammered._

" _Well… come on, show me." Her voice was seductive and a shiver traveled me with desire yet I struggled to keep on track._

 _I pulled away to keep me from taking her right then and there as I flashed her a smile. I nervously grabbed the envelope with Bo's name scribbled on it as I tried to keep my hands from shaking when I gave it to her. Fleur had told me many many times this is what she wanted, I had taken a while to give in. I didn't think this was a bad idea, simply I thought timing perhaps could be better. Now the timing couldn't be better, I knew this was the right thing to do. Even if Bo and I hadn't talked about everything we needed to, we were making great strides and progress._

 _I offered the small manila envelope to the stunning brunette as she gave me that Bo smile that included her dimple making me melt. 'Me first' I whispered while she returned the gesture offering me a small gently wrapped box. I had a feeling it was jewellery and I didn't have the heart to tell Bo I despised being given jewellery. I smiled at her as she bounced in the heels of her feet clearly nervous as I opened the box carefully._

 _I gasped at the beautiful detail in the pendant now before me. The white gold looked exquisite and the sapphires and emeralds went beautifully with the double helix design. My eyes welled up as I realized what it was before Bo's soft whispered confirmed it._ _ **To symbolize a Mother and her child.**_ _It was as if fate had made our minds think alike and more than Christmas, it was also a celebration of what had brought us together; Fleur._

" _Could you please put it on me?" I whispered as she nodded helping me while kissing my neck lightly as I battled tears._

 _When Bo was in front of me I pulled her close and kissed her with all the love I felt in me. The gift was incredible and I would wear it proudly. A reminder of the loves of my life. I nudged her expectantly when we pulled apart and she fumbled with the envelope. She threw me a confused look as she pulled the papers out but I urged her to read up. I saw every emotion flash before her eyes as she internalized what the papers meant._

" _Fleur wanted to make it official. I thought it would be a lot more complicated but since you're_ _ **still**_ _the biological Mother… it was a lot easier than we thought to re-establish the rights you relinquished." I explained as I noticed her re-reading the piece._

" _Does… does this mean what I think it does?" Bo asked with hope in her voice._

" _It does… you're legally Fleur's mother again." I smiled brightly as she pulled me into her arms and I heard her cry softly._

" _I can't believe it." she breathed._

" _Do believe it Bo. She's as much yours as she is mine. Our daughter, on paper…all you have to do is sign." I mentioned as she pushed me away looking around._

" _Get me a pen STAT." Bo insisted using my Doctor lingo endearing me to her that much more._

 _I gave her a pen and made it official before we kissed and headed back out to meet the others. Fleur found a way to snuggle with us as we all watched movies. It was warm and comfortable and perhaps the best Christmas I had ever had. This was absolutely everything I had ever wanted when I was growing up and then some. Having not only Fleur but Bo in my life amongst my lifelong friends and new ones felt incredible and I never wanted it to end._

 _The night passed us in a rush. Fleur had insisted to spend the night at Chloe's since they had to go back to school soon. As much as I wanted to keep her with us I decided to let her go as another idea formed in my head. I knew Kenzie and Hale had gone out for a Christmas party while Ryan and Sabine were bunkered down in Ryan's room for the night. After Fleur had left and it was just me and Bo sitting on the couch a boldness came over me that I couldn't understand._

 _I turned around in her arms laying atop her in the couch but facing her, she gave me a smile unaware of my intentions. With a purpose I kissed her as I rolled my hips into hers and she moaned into my mouth her hold tightening around my frame. She pulled back gasping as I rolled against her again while slipping a knee between her legs._

" _Lauren… baby what are we doing?" she whispered as her eyes closed when my knee touched her already burning centre._

" _We're going to make love under the tree one last time before it gets taken down." I replied nibbling on her earlobe as she moaned into my own ear._

" _Baby… there's people in the house." Bo's voice held apprehension yet her hips were coming up to meet my own while causing more friction to my knee._

" _That are probably doing the same thing we are… you just got to be a little quiet ok?" I ventured as I grabbed a handful of her voluptuous breast and knead it with confidence while she gasped underneath me._

" _Ok" she breathed hotly in my ear and with a wicked smile and a shift of my hips we were on the floor._

 _Our clothes were out of the way in seconds and but everything slowed down once I saw Bo naked under the Christmas lights. Her toned arms and stomach were strong from training yet the softness that accompanied the curve of her ample breasts and her hips made her silhouette the epitome of femininity. Her lust filled eyes were soft and gentle as her arms reached for me in need. I obliged pressing our naked bodies against one another knowing the ecstasy that would come from the action. I took my time running my fingertips along Bo's body while she ghosted her fingers through my back our eye contact reflecting a deep connection I felt in my very soul. I needed Bo so much in my life it took my breath away. She was so precious to me and one day, one day she would realize her worth through my eyes, her unmeasurable beauty._

 _For now I teased her inner thigh after trailing kisses along her jaw and elegant neck. I reveled on every sigh and gasp I could pull from her body as my fingers started getting coated in her sweetness when I pulled her nipple into my mouth. I loved Bo's breasts but more than that, I loved Bo's reactions when I played with her breasts. It was a show all on its own and I would twist and turn my tongue against her sensitive skin enjoying her every expression. I watched as her tongue darted out to wet her lips one hand in her hair as if losing her mind while the other held me in place, her eyes on mine half lidded and dark. I could feel her hips pushing against me as my fingers brushed her dripping hot lips from the movement. Bo let out a low moan as her head fell back with closed eyes now. I entertained the thought of teasing her even more as I moved to the other nipple. My heart was already racing knowing that two of the house occupants could get parched at any moment and find us naked in the living room._

" _Baby" Bo whispered as her eyes opened to meet my own. "You're driving me insane."_

 _It was all I needed to want to savour Bo's heat and without a second passing between her voice and my movements I entered her with two digits. This time she moaned loudly as she rolled her hips into my hand and I licked my lips rolling my eyes in the pleasure that was getting lost in Bo's heat. I couldn't help myself and shushed her with my lips after letting her nipple out of my mouth with a 'pop'. I matched her speed and hips with every movement as I felt her legs spread far apart for me and pushed our bodies flushed against one another using my hips to match hers. She let out a heavy moan into my mouth as our tongues battled and with one quick swipe of my thumb against her clit I felt her shiver underneath me pulling back from my lips._

" _Oh Lau…" I growled with approval at the way she moaned my name and drove deeper into her as her legs wrapped around my waist burying me knuckle deep._

" _Fuck…" I mumbled in pleasure as I felt my own wetness drip down my thigh._

" _I'm so close." Bo whispered and my eyes met hers as I felt her fingers surprise me as they entered me. "I want you to come with me."_

 _I wanted to tell her that the statistics of that weren't quite in our favour but the way she was looking at me and the way she was moving inside me was driving me crazy. So much so that I had suddenly stilled my own movements as I pushed up and arched my back. Bo drank me in as she flicked my clit with her thumb with every thrust much as I had done earlier. I felt like I was going to come undone at any second and with that as my cue I caught her by surprise as I started up a rhythm again and gave her some of her own medicine. Our hips moved in unison with our hands as we looked into each other's eyes and before I knew it I was collapsing on top of a quivering Bo as my own pleasure made stars dance around the trees light bulbs. This was definitely the best Christmas ever._

I smiled thinking of the memory. I often thought of that moment because I could feel Bo giving herself to me as much as I was giving myself to her. After our blissful night and a run-in with a naked Ryan we laughed it off and kissed the Christmas vacation goodbye, ready and refreshed for the upcoming workload. Bo's own career was taking a beautiful turn and even with the ups and downs of motherhood she championed it all beautifully. She had been given a promotion to be the media coverage woman for both Jays and Maple Leafs. Needless to say, she wasn't thrilled about the hockey choice and had a few words to say to me about it at dinner the other night as I laughed wholeheartedly. Regardless of the jersey of the team she was covering, she was glowing from the prospect of expanding to such heights as to be covering the teams constantly. I was seeing a beautiful side of Bo full of ambition and dedication that made her all that more appealing.

With Fleur's treatment becoming more of a reality every day we knew there were some protocols and formularies to fill out that would insist to know every single detail of the process. This included when and where we had collected samples, from who and why. As everything in our lives, this complicated things because of the way we had to go about things. I still didn't fully know what had happened to the man after the encounter with Bo at that time. I shivered as I remembered Bo's letter. Everything made so much sense to me, including her minor relapse.

It was after we had gathered everyone involved to get our story straight before everything got to legal. After all I had to tell them step by step what happened, from the beginning through the attack and when Ryan found me. Nobody elaborated on what happened to him afterwards and I didn't know if it was because they didn't know or they didn't want to say. Regardless the only person I wanted to hear from was the one holding me and if Bo wasn't ready to say I didn't want to know. Bo had trouble hearing what I had to endure and the fact that I found her one night shortly after that hiding in my house was unexpected but not surprising.

I had seen Bo's struggle since the talk and it killed me yet I had no idea how to bring it up with her yet. I had decided to talk to her one night after work, my nerves were steeled and I was ready to face these demons with her assuring her of my support. I had hoped she'd come to me for comfort and support but all in all she was struggling to not clam up. I had decided being proactive was the best choice and readied for the night's events. Yet the call came, my veins ran cold when she said she had to work late. Inside I was terrified and I wanted to trust her but something inside assured me I needed to find her and be with her right then and there. The phone had gone dead in my thoughts and with that panic set in. I paced the room for about an hour before I called her wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt. The voicemail came and with it my fears when something caught my eye from Bo's balcony. It was brief and rapidly quenched but a light had come on in my empty house.

Needless to say, I was dismayed when I found Bo with a sixer of beer. She looked so damned ashamed though that it broke my heart. It broke my heart that she was at that point anyways. I asked a few questions and when the time came I decided that I would support her and get to the bottom of her relapse instead of the fact that she had relapsed. I then took to task to build her up with my words and my touch, I wanted her to know that I was not going anywhere. If she confided in me I was sure we could solve some things without it getting to her drinking or worse.

The following days I set out to drive that notion through. I had wanted Bo to know I trusted her unconditionally and that I wanted her to do the same. She was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with for better or for worse. The mother to my child and lover to my heart I couldn't wait to make Bo Mrs. Lewis for real. I had taken both Fleur and Bo to an agricultural festival in my old home town and opened up to the both of them it was something I occasionally would do with my guardian Lucius. I had enjoyed it when I was a child because it made me feel worthy of his time, this time around I was surrounded by unconditional love.

With all the activities like the petting zoo and the rodeo 101 Fleur had been dozing off in the backseat when I took a detour. I was basically giving Bo a tour of the place I had grown up in and she was drinking every detail with an eagerness I had never felt from anyone. She was paying attention and **really** wanted me to tell her more. I felt perhaps in the first time in my life utterly and completely engaged with someone and I loved it so much I held her hand tightly the rest of the way to the old manor I had grown up in. It was still intact and Heck the groundskeeper recognized me when I slowed to a stop around the gates. He seemed happy to see me and mentioned he'd pass a greeting along before we went back to the city and our lives.

Slowly Bo started opening up more and more and even though we didn't talk about what happened I could see great improvement in our communication. Bo had now picked up this habit of calling me if she was having a particularly stressful time and I absolutely loved the fact that she did so. Sometimes I wouldn't be able to answer so she would call Fleur and chat her up until I'd become available. Our beautiful budding daughter loved when Bo called her and would talk to her about anything under the sun. I was glad to see that their relationship only got stronger with the passage of time even as Bo threw on more work to fill her plate.

Unfortunately the promotion also meant she had to travel from time to time to cover certain key games. They mentioned it'd be brief and not a problem to be dealt with constantly but this being her first time away with the new team reminded me all too painfully of the first time she left on business. As always Bo was tuned to Fleur and I diligently and to calm my fears and racing heart she bestowed a gift on me upon her departure. The gesture touched my heart and I knew this was her keeping a piece of herself here with me as I thought of our teary goodbyes at the airport.

" _I know you've been anxious about the trip and I wanted to leave you with something to entertain you while I was gone." Bo whispered to me in the middle of the crowded airport as Fleur clung to her waist with a pout._

 _The older brunette offered me a small baby blue box that she had been carrying around gingerly before we left. I had thought it was a stowaway for herself, perhaps something of importance but now I saw Bo's intentions were ever so thoughtful towards me._

" _What is it?" I asked without being able to keep the curiosity off my voice, it was my scientific mind kicking in._

 _My best friend's eyes lit up as she got what she wanted and a beautiful smile crossed her lips. She knew me now better than anyone, even better than Tamsin and could read me like a book. I was grateful to have her in my heart and in my life._

" _You can't open it until tonight when you're in bed. Read one every night that I'm away, by the time you read the last one I'll be home." Her eyes shone with brilliance as she held my own and I nodded trying to cover the knot in my throat._

" _I'll miss you girls, but I'll be home before you guys know it." Bo smiled to both Fleur and I as we wrapped our arms around one another and our child._

" _I love you Bo. Be safe." I breathed as she nodded._

 _When I had gotten home my curiosity got the best of me and I tore the box open like a child with a present as soon as I went into my room. Fleur was sulking in her room that Bo was covering a couple of Pittsburgh games so I knew she'd be on the phone with Chloe for a while and then I'd have the house to myself. My fingers had trembled before turning into steady Doctor hands with the utmost care. Bo had left me a collection of notes and letters with numbers on them for me to read. The paper looked expensive and the penmanship was flawless and looked to be calligraphy in ink. There was a small note sticking out and I took it as it caught my attention._

 _ **I knew you wouldn't wait, because that's how Dr. Lewis rolls. I miss you too. You can read #1 now and #2 at bedtime. I won't tell anybody you cheated. I love you and I'll see you soon.**_

 _ **-Bo**_

 _My fingers rushed over the envelope marked #1. It made my heart stutter how well she knew me and how she had anticipated my anxiousness to know the contents of the box. Out of the plain white envelope I pulled out a golden papyrus looking type of paper. I smiled at how precise her penmanship was and got to reading the words that were there for me and only me._

 _ **To my beloved:**_

 _ **I have been thinking about putting my thoughts into words for quite some time now, yet nothing ever seems to be appropriate. When I have you in my arms my mouth quiets with your own and our hands do all the talking. With this time apart I decided that now was the time to 'talk' to you. Don't think I'm impervious to the things you've done to get healthy for the both of us and consider this my way of showing you I care and notice all those little things. Like when this week you brought my car back with new tires and a filled tank ;)**_

The letter kept on to describe in detail various times inside our darker times where she noticed my little efforts for us to get together. The actual detail and accuracy of the moments was heart-warming and I couldn't help the tears that escaped with that first letter.

I laid there for a long while turning the words over in my head. I was so touched by the gesture that I eagerly awaited to be 'able' to open the next one. I could've probably opened them all right there and then but I wanted to do as Bo had suggested. The fact that she had seen gestures I had tried in desperation to get her back proved to me she **saw** me; really saw me.

After getting some dinner done and eating with my gorgeous girl we settled into the couch. I grabbed the remote and settled us into a documentary as Fleur snuggled up to me. I kissed the top of her head trying to distract myself from letter #2. After a while I got engrossed in the information on the TV as I felt Fleur relax in my arms.

"I miss Mom." My girl breathed and I smiled nodding against her head.

"I miss her too baby." I admitted as she sighed.

"I'm so happy you guys are happy Momma. I knew things would work out. I could feel it." The confession was so light and heartfelt that I felt myself tearing up.

"Well I'm glad you were right Fleur."

 _ **Even after the distance between us, I felt the butterflies in my stomach every time I was about to see you. My body would react on its own and I'd want to reach for you or comfort you but my bad desires would come up. I couldn't risk the thought or potential risk of me hurting you so in the end I stayed back. It hurt to be away from you but if I ever took you with the monster in my head I would've never forgave myself. I don't expect you to ever forgive my absence, but maybe if you understand it we can both start getting peace.**_

I had mulled that second letter over almost all night. It was showing me the pain Bo was experiencing and how we had both suffered a great deal while our time apart. I was glad it was over and as the days passed by so did the letters, which turned sweeter as she jumped from one topic to the next trying to explain her soul to me. Looking up from the last letter I could see that the Real Estate agent was finishing up with the happy couple. I envied their carefree stance and their excited looks. It was that innocence in their demeanor that told me as much as they loved each other it was the beginning of their journey. I looked down at the gold paper as my hands shook rapidly while my eyes scanned the words once more. It was probably the eighth time I had read this particular one as the rest laid in a heap in the desk. The words danced in my eyes even when I wasn't looking towards it.

 _ **As my heart pounded in my chest I could see him stepping out of the shadows. The fear I felt was immeasurable and I couldn't understand how he had found me. However nothing mattered at that moment because Fleur was with me and all that mattered was her.**_

I felt my heart stop at the words that followed as she recounted what transpired. I was horrified at the whole situation. I had met the man, suffered irreparable damage under his cruelty and had known to lengths the results of his actions towards Bo. Needless to say, he inspired no sympathy from me, and even as I read Bo's words of the taunts that proceeded her fury I was almost ashamed to be glad for his likely demise. The solemn tone to her notes was palpable and I remembered clearly her words of lament, they were printed onto my heart forever.

 _ **I will never know if I killed him or not and I don't know how to feel about that. Hale didn't get anywhere close to my mess while he called an underground 'cleaner' he knew and when he got there Hale left eager to not be affiliated to the mess. I don't blame him or Tamsin for not checking his pulse, I had gone overboard and didn't want to harm anybody else.**_

 _ **I'm sorry that it took this long… I didn't know if I could live with myself with this uncertainty to whether or not I had taken a life. I didn't know if you'd ever look at me the same way after I gave you the knowledge of what I had done.**_

 _ **Now it's all in your hands and I trust you Lauren. I really do.**_

 _ **Bo**_

"I'm home guys!"

My smile widened significantly as I jumped at the sound of Bo's voice. You could colour me surprised because she was early by a few hours. I should've suspected it since she hadn't been on the phone with me this morning for long. I took off in a quick motion to greet my beautiful girlfriend who I caught walking into the kitchen while Ryan was greeting her back. My breath quickened and my steps slowed as I saw her for the first time in a while. Was she ever a sight for sore eyes as I drank her exquisite figure with a slow drag of my eyes. Even though she had decided to fly comfortable she still looked stunning with her ass hugging denim shorts and black Blue Jays tanktop that accentuated her every curve. I smiled at the contradiction in her wardrobe as her hair was held back by a black Penguins snapback and I enjoyed the few moments I had to take her in while she joked with Ryan about her flight.

The moment her face turned and her eyes met mine her whole face lit up like the fourth of July and I wanted nothing but to see it again. I smiled at her and closed the distance between us without a word needing to be said. Bo wrapped me into her arms as I melted into her warm embrace and earth scent feeling home. I felt as she breathed me in and squeezed my hips tightly before pulling back and kissing me softly.

"This is absolutely fantastic!" Ryan bellowed from beside us as Bo pulled back and gave him a cute glare.

"I'm glad you think so, now if you excuse me I'm trying to properly kiss my girlfriend you party pooper." Bo sassed Ryan who doubled in laughter now and even I couldn't contain a chuckle. "Oh great, now you think he's funny… we'll never get privacy now."

"I hate to tell you this Bo, but Lauren liked me even that first day when she came up all bitchzilla gunning for your neck and her kid." Ryan pestered as I jabbed him in the ribs slightly.

"That's it Bo! We need to move!" I joked indignantly as they both laughed loudly at my dramatic antics.

"Ryan you gonna help us pack for this apparent move?" Bo joked back as Ryan shook his head grabbing his keys.

"I would love to but I have to go meet Sabine." Ryan's smile reached his eyes and I felt genuinely happy for the guy.

He was right after all, I did fall into the charms of Ryan's mind. The man was a child at heart but had very good intentions and when it came to Bo and Fleur he was an absolute doll. The connection between Fleur and Ryan had been apparent from the start and it only grew with time. He was as much her Uncle as Dyson was and I was glad she had such great men to grown around with. Ryan and I had become quick friends after the incident, living together had only solidified our relationship and you could find me regularly in his workshop as he invented this and that.

"Things with you and Sabine are getting pretty serious eh?" Bo teased as Ryan actually blushed.

"Possibly as serious as Hale taking Kenzie to meet his grandparents in Spain." Ryan noted and we all laughed at the group message Kenzie had sent us this morning rocking heels and a sundress to a soccer match.

With a few goodbyes Ryan took off effectively leaving me alone with Bo. We had drifted apart during our interaction with Ryan but now Bo and I were drawn to each other like magnets. I grabbed her waist and pulled to me before shifting my body effectively pinning her to the counter. Her eyes held mine searching as I gave her a smile.

"I missed you Ysabeau." I saw her close her eyes with a smile as she did every time I used her full name.

"As did I… I thought my letters would've been enough company." She was never one to beat around the bush and this was no different.

"More than enough company but nothing beats having you in my arms." I admitted as I kissed along her jawline softly as I made my way down her slender beautiful neck.

"Where's Fleur?" Bo gasped at my attention as her hands traveled underneath my shirt connecting with my warm skin.

"She's at the arcade with Mark, she won't be home for about an hour since you Miss are early." I mumbled against her hot skin and Bo moaned.

"Baby…" she breathed. "Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad when you're home with me?" I pondered and she shook her head serious.

"Did you read my last letter? Do you hate me?"

The question came out in such a vulnerable tone that I couldn't help but stop my advances and pull back to look at her. Bo as always stunned me with her beauty and now was no exception. I shook my head gently as I cradled her face in my hands wanting nothing but to love the amazing woman in my arms.

How could I explain to her how much she meant to me? How could I explain how full my life was with her? How proud I was of the woman she had become in spite of the shadows of her past? How could I begin to materialize how much I loved her? I couldn't be without Bo now, she was as part of my life as Fleur was and I never wanted to give her up. Even with how rough things had gotten then love that ran through me for this woman surpassed every logic. The fact that she had done the difficult task of almost, if not ending a life over our safety changed nothing. If anything, it strengthened the biological desire in me for her as a suitable partner capable of protecting us.

Without further thought or plan I acted on my body's impulse of love and devotion for Bo. I dropped to my knees as I held her hands and looked up at her eyes as my heart raced uncontrollably. Our eyes met once again and I knew this was the only way, this was only answer to forever solidify Bo and I as a whole forever. I braced myself for rejection, and even with the possibility of it I couldn't stop myself from putting myself out there in this vulnerable position. I wanted to be at my most candid so Bo could finally understand how deeply I felt about her.

"I don't know if you're ready for this, or if you'll ever be but I **know** without a doubt how I feel about you today. I know how I will feel about you tomorrow and probably every day after that. I adopted our daughter because I wanted to start a family of my own and even though she's brought me immense joy you are the missing piece to complete our family…" I rambled as my voice trembled with nervousness while Bo held my eyes with tears on her own.

"Oh Lau…" Bo breathed but I pushed on compelled now by everything I was feeling from seeing her after her slight absence.

"I know this is your first relationship and I don't expect for you to be ready right this moment but I have to ask. I have to ask because it's the only way you'll understand that I will stand by you and support you and fight with you and all those other things you sometimes doubt. I'm in this 100% irrevocably and utterly committed to you Ysabeau, now, tomorrow and the next day and whatever comes after that. No matter what you've done in the past, no matter what you thought after the incident, I absolutely adore you and want you to be my wife someday. Please."

Bo pulled me up with a desperation I couldn't quite grasp until her lips found mine and she kissed me with such passion that the rest of the world was lost to me. In one swift movement her gentle fingertips and expert hands had removed my shirt and now caressed every inch in my torso. She pulled me towards her feverishly before her hands made quick work of my bra and just like that I was moaning into her ear while she massaged my breast. My head had fallen against her neck as I gasped when her digits pressed my nipple and I shivered.

"Bo…" I whispered brimming with desire.

I liked giving her a check-back when things got intense suddenly and things certainly had. Her hand moved to my other nipple ripping a low moan from me but her touch was slow and gentle this time. It felt like caramel in the way her slow silky movements went about igniting my skin with fire in her wake. I tugged at her shirt needing her more than I had realized as my libido heightened with each flick of her fingers and I almost whimpered when she broke contact to remove her shirt. Bo grabbed me by the hips and with a wink and a sly smile she laughed as she threw me over her shoulder while I protested in vain. By the time she had thrown me in the bed I was in a fit of giggles before I caught Bo's eyes filled with so much love and adoration towards me I could barely stand it.

I beckoned her towards me as I hooked my thumbs on my shorts and removed them quickly watching her do the same. When she lowered her Goddess-like body onto mine it was heavenly and Bo's skin melted onto my own in all the right places drawing a sigh from me before her lips caught my own. It was slow, it was sweet, it was hot and it was everything Bo and I were; instant chemistry and love. It was electric when I felt her lavish my neck with her tongue taking her time to explore every curve of my body with her soft capable hands. My hands tangled upon her hair, her hat long forgotten on the kitchen floor and she took my nipple into her mouth my back arched to offer her more. Like a fine wine she drank me whole as she moved to the other nipple before tracing my taut stomach with her supple lips.

Sigh and moan alike left my lips as I felt every nerve in my body tingle with the excitement and exhilaration that was being taken by this amazing woman that I loved. I rolled my hips towards her as she kissed the crook between my thigh and my pelvis and before love I felt her cool wet tongue on the heat of my centre. Being devoured by Bo was an experience, the woman was insatiable in her hunger and it seemed I was her favourite delectable. She moaned and purred as she delved deeper into my folds sucking gently on my clit making me tug slightly at her hair and buckle against her face. Wave after wave of pleasure enveloped me as her tongue darted slowly and deliberately the known path that she loved and before long I could feel my stomach tighten with hot anticipation.

I moaned her name trying to give her any signal that she had driven me to the point to madness and I was ready to explode. Her hand steadied my hips and her eyes met my own as I licked my lips. With new determination Bo took me to new heights as my body convulsed with pleasure underneath the brunette vixen. She continued her assault still slow and gentle and made me quiver twice more before I pulled her up to me unable to receive any more stimulation.

We kissed slowly and deeply as if getting to know one another for the first time with a burning desire that showed our time spent together. This woman drove me nuts and I would never ever want her to let me go. When we pulled apart Bo leaned her head against my forehead with a smile as she drew soft circles on my skin. Our eyes spoke volumes as we stared at one another and I felt completely blissful at that moment.

"You never answered my question." I declared with a smart smile as Bo rolled her eyes.

"Was that not answer enough? Was the brimming love that impaired my speech and propelled my actions not sufficient?" Bo chuckled as I shivered deliciously at her eloquence.

"A yes or a no is customary I believe. I don't quite know, it's my first time doing this and hopefully the last." I smiled blushingly suddenly consumed by the prospect of her refusal.

"I would be lying if I didn't say that the prospect of marriage terrifies me to some degree since a relationship is still all so confusing and new to me… yet when I think of you all I want to do is spend time with you and Fleur, and love you fiercely. If that's what marriage is, then I want that with you Lauren, I really do."

Bo's words had taken me aback as tears spilled from our eyes and I captured her lips with my own once more. I was engaged to the woman that I loved, the mother to my child and the most beautiful soul I knew. I couldn't quite believe it. And just like that, our moment was short lived as we heard the front door slam hard.

"Momma I'm home!" Fleur's voice floated through the house.

Bo giggled as she jumped off me and started looking around for clothes while I did the same. I knew Fleur would come over here in search of us so we were racing against time. The joys of motherhood struck again. I also knew Fleur would flip out that her mother was home early and they would get caught up in being with one another like the magnets that they were. Mother and child, the perfect biological relation that never ceased to amaze me. When we were dressed haphazardly Bo reached for the door and I stopped her hand while she looked into my eyes.

"I absolutely love you Bo." I reminded her as a beautiful smile spread across her face.

"Love doesn't even cover what I feel for you Lauren." Bo admitted firmly before kissing me hard.

The door swung open, Bo's smile widened and Fleur's yelp of joy was heard throughout the house. This was the beginning of something beautiful and I was ready for whatever came. The universe had united the three of us in a way that was magical, a Cosmic Love that never ceased to defy and challenge my scientific mind. With Fleur's treatment in the horizon and the promise of Bo and I's future I couldn't help but look forward with peace in my heart. I had finally found a home.


	21. EPILOGUE

**Heavy In Your Arms/ Cosmic Love**

 **EPILOGUE:**

I didn't know how to describe it really. Bittersweet was a word that was tossed around in my mind but now I knew the full extent of the expression now. As I looked around the neighborhood with a box propped against my knee and the trunk of the car truck I tried to imagine myself in the suburbs we now lived in. It was frustrating to leave Toronto but I couldn't quite complain moving to Pittsburgh. It had been a lifelong dream of mine to someday visit the city where the team I loved played and now I was living in it. Life; what a ride so far!

"Are you gonna come in anytime soon? The movers can grab the rest, come on. Your bed is all set up and everything."

Her blonde hair was shining in the sunshine and her smile was warm and inviting. The care in her eyes always amazed me even though I had seen it day in and day out. I loved her so much, the comfort of having her here just made everything a bit easier.

"I just wanted to grab my laptop and console. I'm hoping to set up and videochat back home." I admitted.

"Oh I see, gotta talk to Chloe-Grace right away." She shot me a wink and I blushed.

"I don't know how I'm going to do this without her next to me…" It was hard to admit but Momma was my best friend aside from Mom and Chloe.

"Fleur… it'll be fine, she'll come visit like she promised. You'll go visit like you promised. Our family is still up there and we won't abandon them you know?"

I nodded. Momma was always right. She was the smartest person I knew and if she thought things would be fine they probably would be. As I carried the box into my new room already missing the Jedi memorabilia in the old one I smiled at the Evgeni Malkin poster on my door which Mom had brought for me. I carefully set the box on my desk not wanting to break my laptop or camera and looked out the window. Mom was outside examining the back yard when I saw Momma come up behind her and hug her from behind their smiles made me smile. I was so happy with them.

Never in a million years would've I thought things would turn out this way when I stumbled upon those papers that Momma had kept away in the back of her closet. I had come home early from practice and was looking for her old camera when I stumbled upon the file, my mischief forgotten. Her name was what had gotten my attention on it: Ysabeau Dennis. It was as if somehow I knew and my heart raced just before I continued reading.

It took me a few months to get a plan going and to make sure nobody would know I was gone. Looking back on it I had been incredibly naïve to take such a long trip by myself. Things being so crazy out there I could've been in a world of trouble but in the end looking at my Moms I wouldn't change a thing. When I met Mom I knew somehow instantly that I didn't want to be away from her, that she needed a second chance. It took some convincing but in the end Momma saw what I saw and loved Mom just the same.

I heard a soft purr before I looked down to the little grey fuzzball looking up at me with shining yellow eyes. Victor wanted some attention and his cuteness would not let me say no. He was spoiled, we all knew it but we were too weak for his charms. I remembered when Chloe-Grace gave him to me as a parting gift before we came to Pittsburgh.

" _I know I didn't get you anything for your birthday and there was a reason for that." Chloe mentioned as we were sitting in my room listening to music._

 _She had come over after I had come from the movies with Mark. He had a date but Uncle Dyson said he couldn't go alone so it was either me or Auntie Tam Tam. I at least sat at a different section but Chloe wasn't able to come with me because she had a meeting with the math club. She was a total wiz that reminded me of Momma but she could totally kick ass too like she did in hockey. She had promised to stop by after and true to her word as always here she was lounging in some sweats and a white tanktop on my bed._

" _You don't have to Gracie, Uncle Ry and Auntie Kenz got me so much stuff Momma is sure we'll have to get another truck for the move." I joked with a sad smile as I watched Chloe grimace._

" _Ugh! I'm gonna miss you so much! I can't believe you're leaving me." Her voice was shaky and I knew she was as close to crying as I was._

" _I'm sorry but you def need to come and visit me in the Burgh. We gotta go to a game and I can't live without my bestie." I admitted as my cheeks felt warm._

 _Chloe had been with me through thick and thin since she had moved to T.O. and I would miss going to the mall with her and just being silly with one another. I laid on my back with my head to the side looking into her green eyes while her dark blonde hair fell on her face. I smiled brightly as my stomach churned at the thought of not seeing Chloe every day._

" _Well, it's still a few months away, I'll come visit don't you worry that pretty head." Chloe smiled. "I'll come see you and you'll come see me. Let's shake on it right now."_

 _And we did. Her soft hand was on mine we shook on it and we both knew it was as good as done. We always kept our promises to one another. With a jump she startled me and bolted out the door. I sat there confused as I focused of the music playing. Chloe could be impulsive like Mom and I, which made anything possible when we were hanging out. Before I could protest I heard a rustle and suddenly Chloe was there in my room again as her hands were close to her chest. Then I saw the little fuzzy gray kitten who was curled sleeping in her arms. She placed him on my chest as I gasped and the small kitten opened his yellow eyes highlighted by his white 'eyeliner'. Love at first sight is what I imagined this was and Chloe beamed from on top of us as the small kitten purred on-top of me._

" _Do you like him? Your Moms said it was alright… I wanted you to have a buddy to remind you of me." Chloe smiled as she explained looking nervous._

" _I love him." I whispered trying not to wake him._

" _He's all yours then" Chloe sat next to me and stroked his soft fur he opened an eye and stretched his paw pulling Chloe's fingers to him adorably._

" _I think he's more like ours. This means you have to come visit him."_

As if on cue the young teenaged kitten meowed at me and I smiled petting him. His fur was still soft as down and he looked lean and sleek yet still small. I loved him so much already, he was always with me and loved Mom and Momma just as much. Just then I heard a knock on the door and I looked up to see Mom standing in the doorway.

"Hey there, can I come in Squirt?" she asked as I scrunched up my nose.

"Come on in. I have my bed, my tv, and my console set-up." I smiled as Mom plopped in bed with me while Victor jumped off the bed regally trotting away to explore the house.

"How are you doing babycakes? I know it's not 'the six' or whatever you guys call it." She chuckled and I smiled laying on my bed with her.

"I like it though, maybe we can check out the Botanical Gardens with Momma this week." I hoped as Mom nodded happily.

"I think your Momma would love that very much." She admitted as I smiled.

"I'm excited we're here Mom, please don't feel bad. I feel better than I have in a long time now that I can take my medicine. I'm happy Pitt has legal laws and I can still take my cannabis oils and you can work with the team we love." I admitted excitedly looking into mom's eyes.

Mom was so beautiful that I had no trouble believing that Momma had fallen in love with her. Mom's eyes were a darker brown than mine and so was her hair, her nose was skinny and perfect and her bone structure was flawless. What I loved the most were Mom's expressions, she could be read like a book with her emotions on her face.

"I'm glad to hear that, I'm excited too. I get to meet the guys tomorrow for a debriefing and then I start with small social media posts before moving up to Root Sports." Mom explained excitedly as I smiled widely.

"You better get me to meet the team Mom, I cannot believe this is happening… I am like possibly one degree of separation from Sidney Crosby, I cannot believe this!" I squealed not able to contain my rambling as Mom laughed wholeheartedly.

"I'm trying to convince myself not to stammer when I meet him and look like a bumbling idiot." Mom half smiled and it was my turn to laugh at the image of Mom in such a bad situation.

"Hey guys, lunch is about to be ready." Momma's voice came from the doorway as she leaned against it looking at us fondly.

"Do you guys mind if I video-chat Chloe before I come down to eat?" I begged and Momma gave me a loving smile.

"Just don't make it a marathon you can chat her up before bed as well. I just need you to eat soon so I can check out your blood sugar and all that lingo you hate." Momma gave me her trademark 'sorry' look as Mom 'tsk'd behind me.

"Oh Lauren, the poor girl is grown just lay it on her straight. You've got to toughen up buttercup, you're a lab rat now." Mom stuck her tongue out at me and we chuckled at the running joke as Momma rolled her eyes in embarrassment.

I promised I would be brief with Chloe as they excited my room hand in hand in soft giggles. I thought about it and decided that I'd be lucky if I ever found the kind of love my parents had. They seemed so happy in spite of every little fight and argument they had. They were both very strong willed and I wasn't far behind so I could understand why they butt heads all the time. I remembered a bad time I was having, one of their little bickers took me out of my misery.

 _I was crying with how much nausea I had as I hugged the toilet. My throat felt like fire burning with the dryness of the heaving. I could hear Mom pacing outside the bathroom door as I laid my head on the cool toilet bowl._

" _Fleur if you don't answer me I'm coming in!" Mom's voice was full of panic and fear and I wanted to answer but my voice was so hoarse there was no use._

 _Within seconds Mom had kicked the door in and stood there looking at me as I weakly pulled up my clammy head and looked at her from the floor. I felt like a train wreck and in reality I just wanted her and Momma to hold me. I knew people thought I was too old now for such things but I wanted their comfort since I didn't feel well._

" _Oh God!" Mom breathed as she rushed to my side. "Did you have a seizure?"_

" _No…" I croaked and I closed my eyes hard at the pain in my throat._

" _When the school called that you didn't show up in class... Your Mother is assisting Tamsin with that surgery so here I am. I know I'm probably not what you want right now."_

" _You're perfect… exactly what I need." I whispered and Mom's eyes teared up._

" _I have no idea how fix you. Have you thrown up a lot?" She asked as I nodded. "We need to get you some soda crackers and ginger ale. Let's get you cleaned up first though."_

 _Mom was right, I was completely drenched in sweat and I knew I smelled like vomit. She must've asked about 4 times and I reassured her over and over that I wanted her to help me shower since I wasn't feeling too good. Mom ran a cold bath for me telling me it would take my fever down. She mentioned it was what she tended to do for herself when she ran a fever when she was little. I could hear the pain in her voice even though she tried to come off as reminiscent. Momma had warned me shortly after Mom's promotion came up that Mom's past wasn't at all pretty. I knew some of the vague details from the trip Mom and I had taken but much was still a mystery to me._

 _With me feeling bad she seemed to want to open up and I was glad. Mom felt like my friend and I wanted to learn as much as I could from her as I could. I wanted to make up for all the time we missed with one another. In some way, yeah I wanted Momma, but having Mom here to help was so natural too. It felt important that she was here right now and I wanted her to know I knew she could do this and take care of me when I am sick. She didn't need to be a Doctor, she needed to just be my Mom._

 _When I touched the water I gasped and I felt breathless for a second. It was freezing and I shivered as Mom tried to comfort me with her words. She washed me gently and tried to crack a few jokes about the Titanic as she kept feeling my forehead to check my temperature. After I was in clean pajamas and she had settled me on the couch she grabbed me a Gatorade and a box of soda crackers._

" _I'm sure your Momma will put you in some weird other meds but for now Gatorade and soda crackers it is." Mom smiled at me and curled into me on the couch._

" _I don't want any more meds Mom, I'm tired of this wait, I want my oil so I can feel better." I whined feeling as my bottom lip quivered. "It's just stupid I can't take my medicine just to get a visa to enter the US. It's medicine! I don't care if it's made out of cannabis, it makes me feel better."_

" _I know baby I didn't make the rules, if we're not careful in some US states Lauren and I could go to jail for this treatment. Almost there, we just have one more month to go for you to be clear. Then we'll move to where it's legal and you'll have your treatment the first day there. I promise." Mom assured me as I snuggled in her arms._

 _Momma had gotten there sometime after I had fallen asleep and there was a hushed discussion between the two on what was going on. Neither of them had realized I was awake and they bickered back and forth._

" _You can't be calling her a lab rat, she's our daughter!" Momma wasn't impressed._

" _It was a joke, you gotta admit it fits the situation. I didn't wanna call her RoboCop." Mom rolled her eyes as Momma glared at her and shook her head._

" _Never call her that…" her tone was firm and Mom held her arms up in surrender._

" _Come on Lau, baby I was just joking, I just though you checking her blood constantly and the way she's part of medical trials…"_

" _I get the joke Bo I'm not stupid I just don't like it."_

 _I laughed then breaking my cover they both snapped their eyes at me as I doubled in laughter and I wiped tears from my eyes._

" _I like it!" I declared as they picked up their jaws from the floor. It was the first time I laughed so hard in months._

I smiled at the memory as my laptop loaded the video service up and I waited patiently for Chloe to pick up. I was nervous about school and starting hockey over here as well so I wanted to talk to Chloe. She was my bestie no matter where in the world so I knew she'd put me at ease. The screen lit up and I saw Chloe-Grace's smiling face and I lit up along with it.

"Hey!" Her voice was loud and excited "Have you seen Sidney Crosby yet? What about Flower? How's Victor? If you meet my cousin tell him he's an ass!"

"Language Chloe!" I shook my head rolling my eyes "What part of that interrogatory you want first?"

"How was the trip? Were you able to take your medicine yet?" her voice was gentle and soft on those questions and I nodded.

"I took it as soon as we crossed state lines. Momma had a colleague at the ready right then and there." I smiled and Chloe sighed relieved.

"That's great, I'm so glad! I couldn't take seeing how sick you were getting again. I was scared you were gonna get a seizure." Her voice was soft and quiet and I nodded with a knot in my voice.

I never had the heart to tell her that I had a seizure twice before we had arrived in Pittsburgh. It had been particularly rough on Momma who cursed the laws as she kept me comfortable. I shook my head not wanting to think about those bad memories.

"Well, now it's over and done with and I'm healthy. You said to call when I got set-up and I'm almost 100% set-up." I smiled as Chloe smiled.

"Alright, so I wanted you to know that I'm coming to visit as soon as school lets out for December break." Chloe's smile got even bigger as I screamed with excitement.

"Oh MY GOSH! THAT'S LIKE NO TIME AWAY! I'M SO HAPPY!" I celebrated as I heard laugher up the stairs from the kitchen.

"I'm super stoked too can't wait to see you and Victor Frankenstein." My blonde friend smiled and I chuckled at her nickname for our kitty.

As if on cue he strutted into the room and I brought him up on my lap as Chloe raved about him. We talked for about twenty more minutes before I promised her I'd actually give her a phone call later. She had caught me up about my former school, my former hockey team even what was up at the gym with Uncle Ryan and Uncle Dyson. She spent most of her time with them and Mark now who had picked up boxing. I was excited about the news of her visit so we talked a little bit more about where I could potentially take her and then we disconnected the video call.

"You better be done up there Fleur, I need you to eat very very soon!" Momma called up the stairs.

"I am I'll be right down!" I smiled as I reached to close my laptop.

The sound of an incoming message came on and I looked at my screen ready to tell Chloe to be patient. Instead of seeing her usual **HITMindyGirl** screenname on my screen it was one I couldn't recognize. **BlueJays4Lyfe** didn't sound like anybody I knew back home so I was weary. I opened the window to reveal not much.

 **BlueJays4Lyfe:** _Hey saw your profile on Social Media, I'm a friend of Joe Palmer. Thought you might wanna talk some smack whenever a game came on._

I thought about Joe Palmer, we had History together at some point and he was decent. I wished he would've asked me before giving my profile out but he was a solid guy so I couldn't see him giving it to some random creep. Joe had defended Chloe and I against some guys cat calling us on the way to the movies so I knew this was probably someone alright. I made a mental note to send Joe a message later and rushed a response before Momma would call me again.

 **Flower29Lewis:** _I like the Jays too, sorry can't chirp a fellow fan! ;) How do you know Joe?_

 **BlueJays4Lyfe:** _I like the Rangers and I heard from Joe you're a Penguins girl. How can you be a Pens fan when you're from TO? Where's the Leafs love?_

 **Flower29Lewis:** _I AM a Penguins kind of girl! And *gags* don't get me started on those stupid leafs. You're on for the chirp talk, can't wait for hockey now. What's your name?_

 **BlueJays4Lyfe:** _Me neither, none of the girls around here like to talk sports. I'm Greg._

"Fleurence Charlotte Lewis you better get your ass down here!" Momma yelled and I shut my laptop off rushing down to the small kitchen cluttered with boxes.

All the rooms were littered by boxes which Victor absolutely adored and I could see Momma had set up a mini lab in one of the offices by the dining room. The house we had moved into was huge since Mom had gotten a raise with the job offer to cover the Penguins. I absolutely loved the huge windows and the big back yard. Mom and I had plans for a gym while Momma was certain a library would be a great addition to her office. I took a seat at the kitchen table stuffing my face with some thai food we had ordered.

"Could you breathe child? You're on the grid, you have to stay alive!" Mom joked as she shoved me gently.

"It's sooo good!" I smiled between bites and Mom shook her head.

"How do you like Pittsbugh so far baby?" Momma kissed the top of my head and she pulled me close.

"I think it's great, I love the area we live in. The drive around yesterday was really nice. I'm just glad Mom and I can take our meds." I smiled.

"Me too. I need both of my ladies healthy." Momma smiled and her hand stretched to grab onto Mom's.

"Can't have a wedding without one of the brides" I teased with a wink as Momma blushed and Mom paled slightly.

I was ecstatic when they had told me it would happen eventually. There wasn't a timeline on their engagement, just the promise that it would happen someday and to me that seemed romantic. Anyone could get married and divorced these days but promising someone something and standing by it… now that was special. I looked at them fondly as they stared into each other's eyes with love and adoration that knew no limits. I didn't have the perfect family growing up, Momma was more than enough and yet there was something missing. As I looked at both of them I knew nothing was missing any longer. I was completely loved by two of the strongest women I knew. I was more than ready to take Pittsburgh by surprise, much more so with my Moms having my back.

 **Here it is, the end or the beginning?**

 **Please let me know if this is a POV that you guys enjoy. I feel like I have laid out the brick work for anybody who is interested in a SEQUEL. If that's something you'd like and this was a story you enjoyed please leave me a line on the reviews or send me a Tweet Last_Dragomir.**

 **Thanks for taking the time to read this wonderful story. I feel really proud of this journey and want to say special thanks to my wife SuccubusShinobi for being my proof reader and my muse. Thanks to Kolton and Rkrgrrl for proofreading at times that the wife couldn't. I'd like to say a special thanks to Sydney563 and WritingSux for inspiring me to explore writing about depression with their fic How The Girl Got The Girl.**

 **Until Next Time,**

 **Cheers eh!**


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